Rise of the Mechanar

by Gallekryde

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Grimdark High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Ruling Class Strategy Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

(For new readers: LITRPG elements don't take effect until Chapter 10)

At twenty-years, Nicholas has lived his life to fulfill a vow. With the obligation settled, he yearns for answers to the mystery of his own origin. To solve it, he will need to venture to the old continent, the Ancient Capital, and to the midst of the war waged to reclaim it from the monsters that have driven humanity from it, countless millennia ago. He has planned for this, with years of effort in the making.

Yet not all plans survive, and with the advent of heathen invaders, he swears another promise and finds himself alone in the wilderness of the old continent. With enemies, both monster and human, surrounding him on all sides, he draws on ancient powers that may finally provide the answers he was looking for all along.

However, the night is long and he must tread carefully on his newfound powers, because he may turn into something that even monsters fear.

Updates Weekly

Cover Art Credit: ELEX @ELEXART

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  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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Gallekryde

Gallekryde

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hmdrake
Overall

I'm really enjoying this story so far. Great world-building right off the bat, well fleshed out characters, and an interesting magic system. I'll update this as I get deeper into the story, but I'm really expecting this to take off. I'd say my one complaint is that there are a few awkward sentences mixed in with some odd syntax, but it doesn't detract from the story.

NutJob315
Overall
Style
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Grammar
Character

Seeing some of the reviews comment on chapters that are too long confuses me. I find long chapters to be a huge bonus, especially when the story is as interesting as this one. A young man struggling through adversity as a powerless nobody in a country ruled by the strong. Doing everything he can to fulfill the promises he made to the man that raised him while battling with his internal bloodlust that threatens to overwhelm him. Without going into any spoilers, rest assured the progression is fast enough to keep you satisfied but slow enough to have you anxiously await the next chapter.

Style: Not much to say here that hasn't already been said. The writing draws you in by being detailed enough to give you a good picture of what's happening without bludgeoning you with unnecessary details.

Story: The world we are in is well defined and fascinating. The author gives you small chunks of info throughout every chapter rather than drowning you in world building. The dialogue is believable, the stakes are high, there are a number of long-term goals the MC has to achieve with no clear idea of how to do so, giving you a sense of grand adventure while remaining grounded.

Grammar: So far, so very good. Easy to read, no swollen English to be found here. A couple of slight typos here and there which only really stand out if you look for them, but don't detract from reading.

Characters: Characters and their motivations are established well almost immediately. Of course, you have the one dimensional bullies, but that was literally a single encounter. Everyone else, from the smuggler contact to the old man telling stories to kids, has multiple facets and quirks. The villains that were shown so far are formidable and interesting while being wholly dislikeable, which is great.

The true Narrator
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Not too shabby at all! Rather nice actually!

Reviewed at: Chapter 15- Practice

A promising and very in-depth read that is sure to hook those with a taste for detail and solid world-building.
The story at the time of writing this review is still unfinished but even in its unfinished state, it catches the eye of this reviewer with its vivid scenes and organic exposition.
 
And, ‘I’ am a person with rather high standards when it comes to my reading material, so I say this with full seriousness.

Without any extra providence, I shall now commence with the full rating.

Grammar- I did not spot any mistakes if there were any, so I have to give 5 stars for this, good job, something that is probably better than what I can say for my own work.

Style- A wonky and questionable thing to rate as ever, I do like this story, but it is not perfectly aligned with my own tastes, so 4.5 stars seems prudent here.

Characters- Every introduced character I have seen beyond cannon fodder and bystanders, is clear and distinct in their personality, a blessing for sure, as many stories suffer from a bland and useless cast, but not this one, 5 stars.

Story- It's still rather early for this to truly be an accurate rating, but from what plot threads and hooks being weaved that I can see throughout the chapters, I believe things are looking bright, hopefully, that remains true, 4.5 stars.

Overall score- Mmmm… that’s a very positive looking review so far, I guess I should top it off with a positive finish…
5 stars. Well done sir author, not everyone can claim to get that out of me, for I am a bit of a book snob.

Ankur_93
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Story Score: The story is littered with world-building without being big on info dumps. Which is a plus point. The goal of the MC is mentioned in the initial few chapters itself, so we are not left wondering just what is going on. A nice touch in my opinion.


Style Score: A big battle starts in the second chapter itself against the monsters. And despite not knowing anything about the monsters of the new world, the readers are not left wondering as information slowly seeps in, right when it is needed. Thus we don't just end up playing catch up.

Grammar Score: The grammar is good. The conversation was natural. Dialogues flowed into one another. I have no complaints. 


Character Score: Although not much has happened yet, the MC is driven by a certain madness that demands he take action. The battle lust within the MC is also a strong force driving him in his decision toward his goal. The battle scenes are incredibly described and the scene manifests naturally, keeping the reader on their toes. 

Overall, this is a novel that has a bright future ahead. Looking forward to where this goes!

Onch
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style: The pacing is great. The descriptions and world-building are also top-notch and add depth to the story.

Grammar: Great.

Story: So far, we follow the MC as he explores the world to fulfill his mission. The wolrd-building is also introduced as the MC explores, which flows well.

Character: The MC, Nick, has a clear objective in mind and has prepared accordingly.  The other characters are also pretty interesting.

czepta
Overall

Rise of the Mechanar is a story for classic JRPG fans. Set in a setting at once familiar and unique. You'll find the comfortable elements typical to Final Fantasy esque worlds: crystals, airships, monsters and magic.

I love these kind of stories and they are difficult to find. After watching Gran Blue Fantasy I was left wanting something with a similar flavour and this really gives that.

The story follows Nick who wants to journey from the home he's grown bored of to seek answers to the mysteries that lie beyond its borders. He wishes to travel to the fabled Reclaimer City to become a warrior known as a reclaimer.

The story is written in a very direct and gripping style that pulls you into the story in a cinematic way. The battles with various monsters is exciting and nostalgic.

The worldbuilding and lore is somethig that piqued my interest from the start. There is a lot to uncover here and I cant wait to find out more about the history of this world.

Recommended for fans of fantasy steampunk adventure.

Sii
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Rise of the Steampunk Swordsman

Reviewed at: Chapter 4- Dinner

I found the story extremely pleasurable. It reads more like a novel with some of the flair of serials/webnovels mixed in and I believe this is one of the main strengths. The pacing of the story moves at a nice, even clip, making sure that the reader receives all necessary information without getting bogged down and overwhelmed. 

The hints and namedrops concerning a larger, wider world pique the interest immediately. It makes me, as a reader, want to know what else there is in this world while we continue to follow the MC. Currently, Nick feels much more mature when compared to most MC's in similar stories. He knows what he wants to do and there are hints at his preparations and hard work that have gone into achieving his goal. While he has some developing to do, as there are only 4 chapters available at the time of this review, I think he has the potential to develop into an interesting take on the "lost child" MC trope. The world is beautiful, as far as I can imagine, and I look forward to learning more about it as the author puts out more chapters. I'm rolling my review of the characters and story into one as the author does a wonderful job of introducing their world to the reader through the MC. Nick is smart, driven, and resourceful and I hope this gets polished to a shiny sheen as he develops. The author does a great job of balancing showing and telling, giving enough information to allow the reader to build an image in their minds as they read while not letting the pacing suffer too much. 

For style and grammar, I found very little that would hamper the reading experience. There are the occasional misspellings or missing words but I think this is more due to needing to just do a couple editing passes to help clean things up. There are also some instances where the prose gets confusing, either through being a bit too wordy or clunky sentences, but nothing that's too egregious. This is an area that's much easier to fix than say any story or character problems and I'm sure the author knows how to go about cleaning things up for their own work.

In all, I found the lore and world to be very rich and engaging. It's still too early for me to pass judgement on the characters as I feel I really only know one but there are the hints at rich and meaningful characterizations with some of the side characters introduced in the most recent chapter. I look forward to the direction the story flows as the author continues to release chapters.

Plasticpebble22
Overall
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Story
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Character

Overall 4.5/5: I’m really liking this story.  A new magic system—Aurora—seems interesting. I feel invested in the main character—Nick—and my curiosity about his “promise” is definitely going to keep me reading. I get the feeling that this is a large, exciting world that the author is creating, with epic battlefields, and I’m looking forward to that.
 
Style: 5/5 The descriptions added to the story. I have a good sense of setting as I read, and each detail feels relevant. Everything flows nicely.
 
Story: 4/5 I may raise this score as I read more.  The first chapter feels a little exposition heavy—very interesting exposition, but still, there is a lot of background information, and less action in the first chapter. I’m hopeful the pace will pick up in the next few chapters (It definitely does in the second chapter), with a better mix of exposition and action. 
 
Grammar: 5/5 There are varied sentences, generally well-punctuated. Just a few subtle mistakes that don’t get in the way of the story. For something that presumably hasn’t been formally edited, I think it’s great.
 
Character 5/5: There is a compelling and mysterious backstory, different from what I’ve read in the past.  Personally, I like reading about characters who already have a certain level of know-how, and it seems like this character already has that. I like the feeling of jumping in to the middle of this character’s life—it is as though the author knows to start with the good stuff, and skip the less interesting parts.  One of the first side characters introduced already surprised me several times, so I’m looking forward to what is to come.

Apocryphal
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

If you like lengthy chapters and heavy scenes, this is right up your ally. Getting the simple stuff out of the way first by saying that the Grammar and Style (hard for me to grade the latter, tbh. Such a weird category) are pretty much top notch. The only reason I docked .5 is because the chapters are rather long (easily 4K+ words each) and its a lot to take in, in one sitting.

BUT, that's nothing game breaking.

Moving on, the story is rather simple in terms of goals, yet has easily recognizable potential to be something that has you in it for the long run. The lore and descriptions are vivid and rich, and there's no cramming it all down your throat with pointless exposition. You pretty much experience it all as if it were some cinematic experience.

My favorite parts overall are the fight scenes. The one against the Harpy, for example, was short, intense, and powerful. It fulfilled a hunger for action that I readily thought would take longer to do so. The Latin styled attack names are also some of my favorite kind of flavor in the story. 

As for the characters: The MC is a man that knows what he wants, and as another reviewer said, stands out from a lot of the typical MC I've seen on the site in stories. He gives off a more grizzled, calculated, and mature vibe like a veteran. So far his reactions and actions have come off as pretty reasonable and badass. He's kind of the spotlight guy, though. I wish the other characters got a bit more limelight to stand out as well (as I'm a character interaction nut.)

But again, it's hardly game breaking. Overall, I recommend the read. Especially if you're into eating hours away in books.

 

lemurianx
Overall

Not Everyone's cup of coffee

Reviewed at: Chapter 15- Practice

The story has potential, but I fear, I would age before I read anything good. The story starts slow and has many characters introduced at the start which might be annoying for some, but not for all. Any slow reader will enjoy this, and others would simply lose interest at some point. Even I scrolled through many of the lines. The word count is big and so the time of the update. Still, I hope the author releases 2k to 3k words with smaller intervals.