My Pick Up Artist System

by Samsara With Words

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Contemporary Satire Dungeon GameLit Harem LitRPG Low Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts School Life Slice of Life Supernatural Urban Fantasy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

"With this system, I'll become the world's greatest seducer! If it doesn't kill me first..." I was a nobody, a short fatty Otaku. Then a girl's voice popped into my head, a system that said, [Seduce a woman within a month or die.]
"What the hell...how? I'm an 18-year-old virgin..."
[7+ looks only. No slam donkeys.]
"You’re forcing me to die!”

Facing annihilation, I had no choice but to join the international community of pick up artists. That’s how my boring student life became filled with debauchery and womanizing. I just had one problem: "Why are these guys all insane?"

Pick Up Artist: One who uses specialized tactics to seduce women.

This is a proper novel focusing on comedy and plot first, with R-18 scenes. Tags: LitRPG, Comedy, R-18, modern, supernatural, dungeons, system, weak to strong, parody, satire, succubus, martial arts, wuxia, cultivation

Join the Discord: https://discord.gg/7d35PHM

1-2 new chapters are published every day.

Warning: It's not recommended to eat or drink while reading this as many readers have commented on spitting things out from laughter. I, the author, am not immune, and have also stepped on my own shounen landmine when editing.

If you'd like to support the novel and author, you can donate a coffee! - https://ko-fi.com/mpuas

A big shounen thank you for the anime/manga cover character to https://www.deviantart.com/kirayamato74 and https://www.deviantart.com/gigamessy

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Samsara With Words

Samsara With Words

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
1: Seduce or die ago
2: Divine Pick Up Line ago
3: Casanova enters the scene ago
4: The thong test ago
5: Meeting a master of seduction ago
6: We're stuck in caveman bodies ago
7: Unlocking achievements ago
8: Stat Growth Multiplier ago
9: Swole daddy ago
10: A Japanese cutie with R.A. duty ago
11: Peacocking ago
12: What is attraction? ago
13: Jokes and stat bumps ago
14: Teasing ago
15: Otaku religion ago
16: What is charisma? ago
17: Stat gain is a hell of a drug ago
18: A bet to win the girl ago
19: Charismatic evolution! ago
20: The crucial moment ago
21: What is your life’s blueprint? ago
22: Stoned to death ago
23: The divine dao of face-slapping ago
24: Traumatizing a stranger ago
25: Ronald McDonald learns about insta-dates ago
26: Motivating a woman with words ago
27: Unlocking comfort ago
28: Destiny and spirit animals ago
29: Points-digger ago
30: Club Rat’s Fake ID ago
31: The dong game ago
32: Dungeon instance ago
33: Defusing obstacles ago
34: Wingman law ago
35: Dungeon Hidden Zone ago
36: Pigs get roasted ago
37: Dungeon event mini-boss ago
38: Dungeon break ago
39: First proper date ago
40: Baby in burning building ago
41: Lose the hair or lose your head ago
42: The positives of obliteration ago
43: Invincible opener ago
44: Crackheads want to eat swan meat ago
45: NASA’s lunar sex mission ago
46: Cultivation world of skanks ago
47: Boner justice ago
48: Crime of passion ago
49: First proper proper date ago
50: Neighborly love ago
51: Universal kissing signal ago
52: Smile like a doughnut ago
53: Batman enters an S&M club ago
54: Welcome to hell. We have such sights to show you! ago
55: Milf Black Widow (R-18) ago
56: A reward for a good boy (R-18) ago
57: Batman vs. Black Widow (R-18) ago
58: Snake D*ckskin escapes from New York ago
59: Achievement Hunter ago
60: First skill book ago
61: Heavenly treasures ago
62: Bendingo on a date ago
63: How to get a date to your room and show her your artistic masterpiece ago
64: Famous dating sim technique (R-18) ago
65: Squirtle Hydro Pump (R-18) ago
66: Growth skill ago
67: Solo Leveling ago
68: What girls need ago
69: Finding the inner strength to get laid ago
70: Succubi are real? ago
71: Go Little Finger to give her your Big Finger ago
72: Never give up your dream to deliver cream ago
73: What it takes to be an MC (R-18) ago
74: Karmic splooge ago
75: High Level Mystery Box ago
76: Living in a horror movie ago
77: Epic skill - Divine Line Generator ago
78: Textual intercourse ago
79: Three Minute Rule ago
80: Choosing the divine pick up line ago

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Reviews
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Dragoony
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Generic Male Opinion Nr. 25467891

Reviewed at: 52: Smile like a doughnut

So for starters I'll begin by saying that the novel is a really pleasent suprise. It's pretty much my opinion and respect others out there that don't feel the same.

I'd compare it to a cold drink on a sunny day during summer. As nowadays a lot of novels on web follow a specific path that have already been crossed and overcrossed by countless others, some overshadowing their predecessors. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, it just has a bitter taste in your mouth if you suddenly stumble on a novel that is sooo simmilar to something you've already read.

 

So first of all, the story isn't something that you need a doctorat to follow which enables for the majority to understand and place themselves into.

A story about a guy who's so far down the "target" zone set up by society that you even feel pity. But just that act of pity isn't enough to get you engaged, so we need a somesort of a underdog protag. which is our one and only Ben in this case.

Ben is a random/below(really below) averege guy. He's set a mission by a system with an unknown real purpose other then pity (at this moment). He'll stumble here and there and finally begin when metting "point breakers" that will enable him to finish this mission which will be "get laid"(hopefully). I won't get to into it, but it's a fun catchy read.

 

 

Grammar is over all good, I won't nitpick on anything as I'm a major fail when it comes on spotting something if I don't re-read everything with the sole purpose on finding mistakes multiple times. If I have fun reading and if I don't find something so out of the ordinary that it breaks my narative then I bypass any mistakes.

 

Characters are fun, not to generic or overly explicit... It'll give an example.

"Charming" fatty that will teach MC things in relation to the main mission at hand.

MC's family relative cousin which gives out a helping hand when needed.

Japanese bimbo who's into S&M, lower herself subconsciously to be with MC. E.t.c.

As it don't specifically remember each of their name as the novel only has 52 chapters so far and only read them in a week or so (didn't binge read them).

I do still have the recolection on what makes them standout from the rest and their specific purpose in the story. If I see their name I'll immediately connect it to their specific charcter.

 

Style is pretty good, your not spoonfed things because this is a modern-setting... in conclusion you should already know the majority of worldbuilding stuff which is self explanatory. I like it how the author begins and ends his chapters as it slowly get engaging and doesn't let you with a "cliffhanger" when not needed. The cliffhanger gets so overused that I think I'm going back in time to a DBZ scene where the fight just never ends and I get frustrated because I was sure it will end in this episode.

 

If your still with me during this lengthy post just want everyone to know that we should show a generic appriciation towards someone who gives out his time and effort to writeout novels. We're not entitled to it and shouldn't overstep our bounderies hopefully everyone know the difference between criticizing and hate comments, so once again thank you for a good read for this past week(which was aweful) made my day a bit better each time.

 

Anyway, overall the story is a fun read love the author for doing what he does. Hope he (queue to MortalKombat music) Finish IT. 

BubblesWritesTrash
Overall

This series is great. Simple and extremely abrupt, it's a series that just focuses on throwing stuff at you and, by God, does it make you laugh. The raunchy humour combines perfectly with this romance-blind protagonist who is more often than not a spectator to his own demise, as the Pick-up Artist System messes his life over and over again. It's a very good short read and I wholeheartedly recommend it for a quick laugh.

ArtNJ
Overall

I am embarassed I tried it...but its very funny

Reviewed at: 41: Lose the hair or lose your head

I'm caught up and laughed out loud pretty regularly.  Story is that loser gets a system, has to bag a "7" within a month or die.  Accept that absurd premise . . . and crazy, hysterical lunacy pretty much has to follow, doesn't it?  It very much does.  If we could do this to say a dozen nerdy high school students and film the results, we could pretty much dominate the raunchy comedy section of the box office.  Since we can't, we have this.  Its a bit uneven, but the the chapters are short and the pace hums so you'll be lol'ing again soon.  Enjoy!  Just don't let your wife or your mom catch you reading it.  

Userunfriendly
Overall

This story has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Reviewed at: 11: Peacocking

This story has absolutely no redeeming qualities.  It is misogynistic, sexist, crude, rude, disrespectful, and imbecilic.  

And absolutely HILARIOUS!!!  A writer's task is to hold your attention for the duration of time he or she needs to tell their story. Samsara is sitting on your stomach and violently tickling you until you submit! Don't read it all at once, bite sized chunks are best.  

Recommend this to anyone you know who seems to be having a tough time.  The more politically correct they are, the more they'll complain to you about this story.  Ignore them, they got it bookmarked and are secretly reading it during breaks at work.  

Read nau, you no regret. 

augernaut9000
Overall

Follows mystery methods pick up system. Great little details and if you've practiced any of the game, you'll notice the author has personal experience with pua. I hope the author continues writing for awhile because the combination of gamelit + game is brilliant :) 

Some commenters are talking about adding more silliness or giving critique on the story progression, but the author is pacing it very well and his scenes for character development in addition to realistic life experience seems to shine through.

Readaholic
Overall

A silly but fun read that has an interesting system. The main character gets a system that will kill him if he doesn't have sex. Fun with great characters but obviously don't expect a saga. 

 

I recommend it if you like adult books although so far there hasn't be much adult content. 

The author has a really good release rate and release multiple chapters sometimes. 

Congratulations on reaching trending. 

Cheschire
Overall

What to say?

A good mix of fun reference to games, novels, and manga.

Followed by a huge deal of retardedness from the MC for humoristic purposes... at least, I hope.

Sprinkle the whole with insightful bouts of self-reflection about human nature, and mostly introvert geek.

Moreover, if it isn't enough for you, you will astonishingly find a plot somewhere inside.

Conclusion: There's tits.

TenaciousOrb
Overall

This is a good story. The plot really is dropped on you ASAP, which is fine for this story and helps add to the rush the MC must feel based on the time based premise for this first arc. The one-liners, the reactions, the leaps in logic the characters can make are so frickin hilarious all the way through. The supporting cast does just that, coming off as failures themselves they help both the protaganist and the comedic cavalcade. This has been a thorough comedy so far, but I do see some R18 tags on upcoming chapters and I sincerely hope that he pulls those scenes off as fantastically as he's crafted the humor in this story.

Had a laugh in nearly every chapter and one actual out loud laugh forced from my by the author somewhere around every five.

Primate
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The style: The author is using the omniscient third person narration style mainly from The angle of The MC, Ben. The readers are able to experience the thoughts and emotions of the characters of this world of rpg fantasy, and see the world through the perspectives of the various characters. The beautiful concept of this hilarious fantasy showed the narrative capacity of the author. Greatly done.

The story: It followed the tales of the main character, Ben. A fatty otaku who got a system that ordered him to seduce a woman within a month or die with attached conditions. From there on, it is pure entertainment. A uniquely beautiful story that keeps on developing without deviating from the plotline.

The grammar: High quality grammar. No noticeable errors that could affect the flow of the story. This is highly commendable.

The character: This is one of the strongest area of the story. The author is able to invent simple but complicated characters that are highly relatable. The character of the Ben is absolute joy and fun to read. The characters are well written and defined. Not everyday you see writer's get it right with characters, especially with fun ones. 

Well done, author. Keep up the great work.

Localforeigner
Overall

I wouldn't normally be interested in a story about a pick-up artist or their efforts to get laid. However, I decided to take a try on the bizarre premise and see how the author handled it.

Much to my surprise, I found myself not only hooked to the MC's dilema, but laughing out loud in several places. 

As with any comedy, not all of the jokes land, but that's subjective. There were enough laughs and giggles to keep me going. The subtle revealing of the pick-up master's 'loser nature' really got me.

My only quibble with the story is I think the MC's dialogue could use another pass or two. His verbal reaction to his situation often feels a bit wooden, or robotic. 

I hope the story continues to light-heartedly focus on the failures and trials of attempting to treat others as objects or means-to-an-ends. For now, I'm definitely interested in seeing where it goes and having some laughs along the way.