Invasion - A Nanomachine Magical World LitRPG Adventure

by freedcats

Original ONGOING Adventure Fantasy Romance Sci-fi High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Urban Fantasy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

In the year 2035, humanity broke the dimensional barrier and attached its world to another.  Unfortunately, something was waiting on the other side and attacked.

Nearly 140 year later, humanity is trying to hold what is left of its world. Vic is a military asset for the United Forces of Humanity (UFH) and his job is to kill the orcs and their kin.  While on a mission, he is exposed to an advanced technology which grants him powers beyond anything he has known.  How can he use those powers serve humanity and its hope to take back the world?

Travel with Vic as he allies himself with elves, dwarves, gnomes and beastkin to battle the Invaders using a mix of ancient magic and futuristic technology.

________

This story has a magic, guns, crafting, violence, sarcasm, love, betrayal, swearing, blood, gore and some sexual innuendo.  (No detailed sex scenes.)

The first 29 chapter are world-building, character introduction and building, and some action, but not a ton.  The real action and adventure starts from chapter 32+.

Currently, I have 250 chapters written.  For Volume 4 and beyond (chapter 60+), my aim is to post a chapter a day.  The chapters average out at a little more than 1000 words.

**This story is copyrighted.  Any attempt to plagiarize and claim this writing as your own with be reported to the sites as well as the authorities.**

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freedcats

freedcats

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue - Unknown log ago
Volume 1 - Trolls, Orcs and Ettins, Oh My! - Chapter 1 ago
Chapter 2 ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Volume 2 - The Cave, its Death Moss and a Tutorial - Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Volume 3 - The Great Escape and The New Foreigners - Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Volume 4 - Family of Two - Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 ago
Chapter 64 ago
Chapter 65 ago
Chapter 66 ago
Chapter 67 ago
Chapter 68 ago
Chapter 69 ago
Volume 5 - Affinity Aficionado - Chapter 70 ago
Chapter 71 ago
Chapter 72 ago
Chapter 73 ago
Chapter 74 ago
Chapter 75 ago
Chapter 76 ago
Chapter 77 ago
Chapter 78 ago
Chapter 79 ago
Chapter 80 ago
Chapter 81 ago
Chapter 82 ago
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Chapter 87 ago
Chapter 88 ago
Chapter 89 ago
Chapter 90 ago
Chapter 91 ago
Chapter 92 ago
Chapter 93 ago
Chapter 94 ago
Chapter 95 ago
Chapter 96 ago
Chapter 97 ago
Chapter 98 ago
Chapter 99 ago

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todd
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Has its ups and downs

Reviewed at: Chapter 62

This is overall a competently written story. The setting is a fantasy/hi-tech mashup that pits a struggling humanity against the classical evil fantasy races (orcs, trolls, and the like) with assistance from the classically good fantasy races (dwarves, elves, gnomes). Overall, it seems to work, creating a world with modern magically enhanced tech as well as enchanted gear. That said, tech does seem to have declined in some areas to allow for more balanced combat between the two sides.

Stylistically, the story flows well. Perspective remains anchored in first person without jumping around and descriptions of locations and events are well done. From the chapters that I've read so far, style seems to be the most solid aspect of what's been written.

Story: This is where I began to run into issues with the work. Light spoilers follow (not plot relevant). First off, the apocalypse began with a tech level of mana-powered nanomachines and physicists breaking through the dimensional barrier. The nanomachines are justification for a litrpg System, but only wind up being applied to human bodies (creating awakened vs. unawakened). Special forces still use sniper rifles with magical rounds against enemies that fight with axes and swords. But what happened to all the heavy ordinance? Bombs, tanks, missiles? For some reason, magic dissolved all plastic (big environmental win there), but it's not explained why polymer chains were singled out for dissolution and nothing else. The MC is also given the OP protagonist treatment. For some reason, awakening his nano changes his species from human to an extremely magically capable humanoid, his nano density is off the charts, he's refined into a godly attractive figure, gains liquid steel skin (that looks perfectly normal), and regenerates almost instantly. Except when he doesn't. In fairness to the author, the MC does work relatively hard, but it's very much a story where the MC is the Chosen One. With "Living Mana" orchestrating events behind the scenes, it's very much a guided by fate storyline. Some love the chosen one setup, some hate it, but it's worth knowing about ahead of time.

Grammar: A bit of a consistent problem. Spelling errors are actually non-existent, credit to the author, but other grammatical errors are pretty common. Homophones, adjectives where adverbs belong, incomplete sentences, there are a lot of spaces where a second perspective to proof-read would be beneficial. For instance, Sea Saddle City gets three different names (Sea Saddle, Sea Sattle, and Sea Seattle).

Character: Generally quite good. Characters each have their own unique voice and avoid the trap of cardboard cutouts set next to the MC. The issues that I have are largely in the occasionally odd interactions between them. The MC is an attractive ("hottie with the scars" prior to system refinement) special forces operative that comfortably flirts with almost every woman he meets (including his bike and System) but is allegedly awkward around women and has managed to retain his chastity. Grun immediately wants to kill the MC after he nearly dies to save them. Shen's actually pretty well rounded in her interactions. It's nothing huge, but minor inconsistencies pile up. Additionally, a relatively large amount of exposition is delivered through the System (Jocelyn) despite the MC being in Special Forces, making it seem like he doesn't know very much about the world. It's not uncommon in stories, but his military background doesn't seem to add anything other than access to military spec upgrades. There wouldn't be much of a difference if he was just a regular guy. Lastly, I'm hoping that the 22-year-old elf child becomes a sidekick and not a love interest. It would be uncomfortable.

In summary, the story is good enough that there are no large problems to detract from the experience. The flip side being that there are a number of finicky little bits that don't quite line up right. Fans of Chosen One storylines or OP protagonists will likely find this to be a very enjoyable read, as its characters are distinctly better written than most power trips on Royal Road.

Nomikos
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Good but a few inconsistencies

Reviewed at: Chapter 65

This story has potential and is good in its own ways but has a few problems with its "System".

I don't want to spoil anything, so I will not repeat what I wrote in chapter 18 where the problem is most glaring but the synthesis is this:

The system seems too much like an "universal game-like system" like so many other novels and less like a "human-created system to help ALL (not only MC) humanity. Heavily edit or remove Titles and/or Achievements pls.

Apart from this the rest of the story is fine, nothing too worldshaking: characters are more or less beliavable, the MC is kind of relatable and likable but no character shines too much.

The grammar is good, a typo or so each chapter but nothing that impedes a good reading experience.

The story seems interesting enough (currently chapter 65).

Just a personal preference: less stats and status windows, especially for things like equipment and vehicles: they add nothing to the story, and so far they don't seem to matter too much. But maybe it's my personal preference and other people will like it better now.

 

200 word long reviews.200 word long reviews.200 word long reviews.200 word long reviews.

mad-ness
  • Overall Score

Nice new litrpg.  Decent enough grammar and readability.

Interesting world and enjoyable character.  Nothing earth-shattering but just a good fun story.  Looking forward to more (binged the first 50 chapters the first day I found it).

mpearson
  • Overall Score

fine, then suddenly bad.

Reviewed at: Chapter 66

This really goes off the rails around chapter 59. Just makes 0 sense and throws the structure of the story and any attempt at actual character development down the drain. I kept reading for a few chapters after that but it's really off-putting. A bunch of other things don't make any sense but that was really an anvil on a laden camels back.

JohnDelvfar
  • Overall Score

ARGH!!!!!!!!!! just found this today and I binged the whole thing.

Reviewed at: Chapter 59

But having said that, you have begun a great story and i can't wait to see where you take it. the main character is interesting and relatable, the supporting characters ;((

character... is light and fun, was going to say great back story but you know dead and all. you did forshadow with the numerous dad coments but Dam man, thats just cold! 2 AI's, a lvl 0 super powered Special, spectial forces sniper, humanity on the line, mayham everywhere. MAgic, Tech, MAGICTECH, Swords, GUNS, NANO, ...... Fun read!   Already Gave it 5 starsand favored status. REALLY looking forward to what comes next ! SOON PLEASE! ;)

Thanks again

NoAbsolution
  • Overall Score

Really enjoyed this fiction. Looking forward to any continuation or other works by this author.

off
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Great start, gets progressively worse.

Reviewed at: Chapter 71

 

This review contains spoilers.

The start of the story is pretty interesting. Though not entirely unique, it sets a foundation for an interesting story, world and character development. I particularly found your take on the idea of the System quite novel. This sentiment holds about until chapter 60 (end of Volume 3). 

Grammar and style are consistently decent, we learn more about our MC and start to get a surface-level understanding of the world. The world of post-apocalypse Earth does feel organic and the MC is generally likeable–albeit a bit dense and immature, despite his professional military background. Aside from a few original characteristics, the MCs power-creep is quite cliché as is the case for many LitRPG novels on this site and beyond. If this is your thing, I would recommend at least giving this a shot.

On the other hand, there are a few glaring issues that become more prominent in later chapters. Often times the motivation for MCs decisions are complete nonsense–e.g choosing to not level up, not connecting to the system network because it doesn't feel right, risking life for complete strangers etc. While not bad per se, we are not provided with any reasonable motivations for those decisions. As such, it is more about what the plot demands than who the MC is. However, what made me drop the novel is how the author handles side character death. There is no emotion, no stakes, no urgency. The MC saves strangers, spills essentially all his secrets within a week of knowing them, and when they die because of his mistake, they are basically forgotten within a day. Following which, the MC decides to just chill for a couple of weeks and do some shopping because "fuck it, why not".  This overwhelming drop in quality and increasing frequency of grammar mistakes and naming inconsistencies is what made me drop the novel.

All in all, an interesting take on the typical LitRPG system apocalypse genre. Solid potential, but could use a rewrite starting at the end of Volume 3.

 

MTTownsend
  • Overall Score

Really enjoying the story, only thing letting it downs is there is some inconsistency in names of places or characters which can cause a bit of confusion.

Ringostrauss
  • Overall Score

Definitely worth a read, longer review when I read everything.

Reviewed at: Volume 1 - Trolls, Orcs and Ettins, Oh My! - Chapter 1

Longer review after I read more, I've only read the first chapter but that was good enough that I'm definitely reading the rest. It was an interesting method of introducing the world through diary entries, really gave me a good feel for the premise.

SecCcat
  • Overall Score

There is a lot of info dumping and not much story up to chapter 25. Granted the chapters are very short.

Update: chapter 34...it appears that the info dump is over; also....elf b*tches !!  :P