Artificial Mind

I'd like to cushion my review by saying that the author is aware of the unfortunate amount of grammatical issues, which do appear to derive from differences in language structure between English and their native tongue. If you are not bothered by grammar problems, I'd recommend giving this story a try. If you are, it doesn't look like the author has enough time to go back and polish their work, which is entirely understandable. I'd keep this in my back pocket and see if someone volunteers to edit the work.

Story:

I'm a real fan of any AI, sci-fi story and this scratches an itch in my brain. Unfortunately, in many ways the story feels slapdash, with entire chapters devoted to a concept, and then no further mention to it. There is an unfortunate lack of worldbuilding, and my biggest complaint is that there doesn't seem to be a consistent overarching direction.

Character:

There are a total of at most five important characters: Troy, Adam, Dr. Hale, Dr. Firales, and Charlie. Dr. Hale is the alcoholic hard-ass, Firales is the mad scientist, Charlie is a whole can of worms, and Troy is an idiot. I understand that Troy apparently got a degree in English, and the story eagerly denotes it as a joke major, but the guy is dense. Yes, that is a defining characteristic of how he arrives in the story itself, but sometimes it just goes too far. Worse than that, he is inconsistent. At one moment he is worrying about money enough to sign away his life, at another he is gambling and taking loans without any money in the bank. I wish the characters had a bit more depth, but I will say that they are at least unique and memorable.

Style:

There isn’t too much to say, one first person perspective narration from the AI, and an odd mixture of first / third person narration of Troy and the outside world. Its nothing special, but the largest problem is in terms of dialogue, which can feel stilted and unnecessary. I personally had trouble sometimes distinguishing from the narration and the dialogue at points.

Grammar:

This is the breaking point for me. The author bashes English majors in the first couple of chapters, but clearly has a couple misunderstandings of the language itself. That isn’t to say that everyone should know perfect English, but there are repeated glaring errors. Commas are the biggest issue, as you can see from the following problematic sentence:

"Now, I can tell you, how long this whole operation will take, if you go over, and get me the earpiece, and hand it over to me."

The author is responsive to criticism and does understand this is an issue. 
Additionally, and this is probably nitpicking, the author will often use overly complicated words in situations where they are not helpful, or out of character. I’d advise them to simplify at least the narration, because while words like Halcyon are fun, its best to write your novel to be accessible to the lowest common denominator.

I really wanted to like this story. It seems like a semi-interesting plot and something that's not done much here on RR.

However, the punctuation is awful. There are extra commas everywhere, some that change the meaning of the sentences. During certain parts, the writing style tried to be very technical and proper, as though being written by a scientist or AI. However, incorrect words, poor grammar, and completely unnecessary commas break me out of the story every time. I know that RR is not going to be professionally edited, and I've learned to tolerate quite a bit on this site, but this was too much for me. 

Additionally, while the concept was interesting, I was having trouble really believing the story line. The characters didn't seem to be acting in a believable way. There are inconsistencies and things that just don't seem to fit. I only made it through chapter 5, but I couldn't see my way to continuing with this story. 2.5 stars for interesting concept. If you're not bothered at all by grammar and punctuation, go for it. I hope an editor (or even reader feedback) can clean this story up more, I'm just not up for it.

i'll make it like on webnovel so

grammar is okay i'm not that good myself to be objective

story is engaging but can give severe headaches 

Mc's are very lifelike or at least are what we would've expect from our artificial mc.

style is clean

world background is a little unexplained but it's propably due to the fact that the world is similar to ours

overall very good alternative to something as fast paced as Tree of Aeons

Note this review is subjective and may or may not reflect reality.

The concept is a nice change of pace on this website, and the story manages to pull everything off pretty well. While I'm not the best critic, all of the charters have charter that isn't just one dimensional and the story is pretty interesting how the AI interacts with the world around it and how it indirectly is involved with the world.

Overall: This is a thrilling book to read. The writing style, the plotline, character's progression, grammar and world build up are on point. I rate it 5/5.

Grammar - Excellent. I couldn't find errors that could affect the flow of the story. I pay great attention to the grammar, and this book really shows the effort of the author. He really did a great job on writing and editing this book.

Story - It's about the birth of the first AI which is presented to us in a very enticing way. It kind of set the tone for a mystery plot. I enjoyed it.This is a beautifully written sci-fi -AI story that captures attention right from the first chapter. Once a reader pick it up, it will be hard to put down. Well planned. The storyline is intriguing.

Style - The beautiful story is written in omniscient third person style where we view the fantasy world through the eyes of the various characters involved. Readers are made to feel the emotions and actions of the characters in a good way. With this living fantasy novel, third person style flows freely. The author then made it more wonderful with great attention to the story itself. 

Character - They are properly defined by the author. Their conversations are truly deep. The author is paying great attention to the characters' development as with the case with litrpg/epic fantasy. Proper back stories and attributes make the characters come to life. The MC is a great example of this. Every thing about him shows the excellent work of the author when it comes to character of a story. Well written.

Review up to chapter 5

This is a SciFi story set in the far future. Brain implants, automatic cars, and Artificial intelligence are all involved as you can imagine from a futuristic Earth.

Story: this is where this story sets itself apart. The way the AI is presented to us is very enticing. I feel like I can see it there despite it not really being there. I mean, it's something that not even its creators fully understand and they want someone else who had little scientific knowledge to do it for them. It kind of set the tone for a mystery plot. I enjoyed it.

Characters: the doctors seemed to have some doctor-crazy personality but they managed to sound unique. Especially doctor Hale. Lol, you wouldn't believe me but even her enemies call her Dr. Hale. I must say Troy isn't very smart. He signs a shady contract and regrets it a second later. Such contracts are meant to be read, but I guess not many people read terms of service when offered to them by websites. Anyway, I know Troy is in for a ride. And I don't trust that burly doctor. Fidelis, is it?

Grammar: really good. I spot one typo in 10k words.

Style: it's slow, honestly. But some people like it like that. It's descriptive and easy to follow. 

Overall: I would recommend this story to anyone who likes SciFi with some mystery thrown into it. And there's enough content already.

Overall Score:

This is an interesting and fun read. I love the little hints of world building that are dropped throughout and I love that the author doesn't infodump at any point in time. There are some grammatical errors, but not enough to ruin the fun story the author is writing. 

Style: The style is a detatched third person past tense perspective that helps to guid the feeling of watching lab rats in a lab. I feel that the style fits the story. I removed a half star for the author's love of commas, but that has already been brought up and I do not feel it should affect their overall score as they and many other reviewers already warn of this.

Grammar: The author has clearly been working on improving this. There are still some places that need help, but it did not make the story unreadable. For the most part I was able to read the story without the grammar causing immersion to be lost. 

Story: I have no idea where this is going, but so far I am highly interested. It is definitely a slow burn, but I think it is an interesting read.

Character Score: I was going to give this five stars because I felt that each character definitely had their own personality, but then I thought over all the characters we've been introduced to. Other than Adam they all seem to love sarcasm and hyperbole. Even the main character seems quite happy with the Doctors threatening his very exisistence and never seems to worry about threats to his life or care. The characters constant sarcasm and jokes do seem to make it a dark humor story, but when thinking back on the characters I realized they are fairly similar in their humor and how they react to situations (Again, this is excluding Adam as Adam does not do sarcasm/hyperbole/humor yet. I do feel like there are some missed opportunities here with Adam not understanding humor, but maybe there will be some of this later on). Overall the characters while not likeable are interesting enough to make reading the story fun. 

Overall: To me? Charismatic and quite scientific. Deep and mature. I rarely read something like this. It took me five times longer to read and entirely understand the implicative meaning under some parts of the chapters.

Style: Maybe this's what a novel should be. I've been reading the translated chinese novels ever since I entered the web novel's world. And they're always the same. This, on the other hand, is different that what I've read, in a better way, of course.

Story: From what I've read so far (until chapter 10), I'm still guessing which way the story will go. The 'suspense' can be felt from the very first chapter. And up to chapter 10, there are still not much information uncovered. Why did they create an AI? What's this facility? What's it for? What're they trying to do? Is it just for a research or maybe more later? That's what I need to continue reading as the story goes.

Grammar: I'm not a native, so full scores for anybody who writes better grammar than me. (maybe everyone on RR will get a full scores from me 😅)

Character: I'll give my whole fav to the AI. It's alway intriguing me with the questions and comments that out of my expectation. Always learning and trying to be like us. 

I will start off by saying I gave a leeway for any grammatical issues that may exist, but overall they were not that bad. It was mostly awkwardly placed punctuation and a few grammatical mistakes (such as using the incorrect spelling/word occasionally). This is an extremely unique story with compelling promise and prose. The idea of AI is terrifying in the best way, and the characters were my favorite part.

The thing I enjoyed most about this story was the unique approach to this sci-fi story. It is relatively easy to follow, and the characters are what make it life-like and worth it. I enjoyed reading between the characters and how they responded to the hectic happenings throughout this story. It was funny where it needed to be funny, engaging, and a pretty solid read. With a serious tone directed toward AI and its effects on the silly characters, I enjoyed exploring this futuristic story!

Overall, the only thing I can really dock is the style as it feels relatively unpolished in certain areas, but this can be cleaned up with a quick rewrite after the story is complete. 

I would suggest this light-hearted read for lovers of light comedy and interesting sci-fi surrounded by the idea of AI (which is growing far far closer to reality). 

Great job. 

Artificial Mind is an entertaining trip through the early stages of artificial intelligence, peppered with hints of a futuristic world and yet very contemporary and colloquial in its tone.

Style: The narrator is, from the very first chapter, highly sympathetic and amusing. The novel is very in-line with genre standards for formatting, pacing, vocabulary, and tone; nothing experimental, but also nothing jarringly out-of-place for a sci-fi comedy. It also manages to avoid the pitfall of technobabble, while still being clearly rooted in the scientific.

Story: The tone and characters fit in well with the overall plot, and the mood of the story is consistent. However, Troy being selected for his highly-secret job without even a preliminary interview feels a little forced - as though it happened because he needed to be the main character, and not for any internally consistent reason.

Grammar: There are very rare slip-ups in terms of verb tense and word choice, but nothing so glaring that it pulls the reader out of the scene. The commas are a little overabundant, but that's a bit like calling sharks overabundant in the ocean; that's where they're supposed to be, and it would be worse if they were missing.

Character: Both Adam and Troy are personable, vivid characters, from their very first scenes. Watching the story unfold through their eyes is always fascinating and full of detail. The secondary characters are introduced at a manageable pace, and are developed slowly but steadily as the plot moves forward.