Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Female Lead Multiple Lead Characters Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation Secret Identity Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content


Disclaimer: The "Strong Lead" tag means "Weak-to-Strong", and not immediately strong. If you're looking for an immediate Strong Lead, then this story isn't for you.

A young woman finds herself dead and is given the chance to reincarnate in another world with cheat-like magic powers. She accepts, only to find that this world treats magic users the same way hers did— by hunting them down for heresy.

My name is MELAS?! Like... Salem spelt backwards? Oh my God, and my mother is a Witch. I am SO going to be burned at the stake!


Melas is a story about action, adventure, and most importantly, survival in a world that isn't always kind to the MC. It's a slow progression fic, and although it is NOT a SoL/fluff story, IMO it's NOT a grimdark fantasy either; in fact, I'd be inclined to believe it's closer to the opposite, although sometimes 'dark' aspects of the world will be explored within the story. It takes some inspiration from the real life relationship between Witches and religion, involving a setting that is closer to the period of an industrializing world rather than the typical medieval fantasy-type setting.

It isn't the pinnacle of writing, nor does it pretend to be anything truly novel: I'm simply writing what I want to write. 

Covert art by Boboplushie (WARNING SLIGHTLY NSFW)

This is a rewrite of the original of the same name. I do not recommend reading the original as this version is far superior.

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Author
delta201

delta201

Intermediate Writer

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Prologue - Murdered ago
Chapter 2: Magic ago
Chapter 3: First Step ago
Chapter 4: Stranger Danger ago
Chapter 5: Monster Attack ago
Chapter 6: Leaving ago
Chapter 7: Standing Prayer ago
Chapter 8: Fall ago
Chapter 9: Destiny's Child ago
Chapter 10: Interlude - Villamcreek ago
Chapter 11: Free Lands ago
Chapter 12: Slave ago
Chapter 13: Hunger ago
Chapter 14: Troublemaker ago
Chapter 15: Nightmare ago
Chapter 16: Light Bump ago
Chapter 17: A Brief Reprieve ago
Chapter 18: Bys, the Free City of Slaves ago
Chapter 19: Live ago
Chapter 20: Shaken ago
Chapter 21: Abominations ago
Chapter 22: Deus Ex Machina ago
Chapter 23: Interlude II - Hunters ago
Summary of Arc 2: Chapters 11-23 ago
Chapter 24: Begging and Stealing ago
Chapter 25: Dark Crusader ago
Chapter 26: Outpost ago
Chapter 27: Starved and Stronger ago
Chapter 28: Test ago
Chapter 29: Annoyed Learning ago
Chapter 30: Feeding Hunger ago
Chapter 31: Iron-y Golems ago
Chapter 32: Sneaky Escape ago
Chapter 33: Close-quarters Combat ago
Chapter 34: Choices, Choices, Choices ago
Chapter 35: Fort Conon ago
Chapter 36: Compromise ago
Chapter 37: The Right Decision ago
Chapter 38: Interlude III - The Saint ago
Chapter 39: Adrian - Far From Home ago
Chapter 40: Adrian II - Xander's Academy ago
Chapter 41: Freedom ago

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gueenee
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I've been an avid reader of the original version for a while now. It's one of the few serials I read release-by-release, and of course, this rewrite is no exception.

Something I truly appreciate in any author is when they don't desperately try to chase the newest trend or meta, and writes purely for the sake of writing a good story. Genuine, heartfelt writing, in short. I've spent a huge chunk of my life slogging through this website, so believe me when I say: this isn't your usual regurgitated copy-paste isekai.

Everything a good fantasy story should have, Melas has in spades. An interesting cast of characters, solid worldbuilding, and a story that poses real, consistent challenges for its actors instead of going on a break for an instant gratification power trip every other minute.

This rewrite fixes the issues and rough edges that plagued much of the first take. The grammar is fixed, prose tightened up. The pacing issues that had been grating me on the original are now gone. I'm looking forward to what the author can do with this story now that they have so much more experience under the belt.

Dorrin
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Can't wait till this catches up with the first draft.  Many flow issues have been resolved, characters are slightly more consistant.  Not to say that the orignial was in any way actually lacking but the rewrite is pretty damn well polished.  

What I said in my initial review in the first draft of this story still holds true.

"Better than the vast majority.   MC with character, solid plot, progression, worldbuilding, great hook, fun side characters, full kitchen sink, wait.  There are some small rough spots but they don't really matter.  I certainly have no regrets picking this one up.  Look forward to more from the author."

Iago Miranda
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Was pleasantly surprised reading this story, both for the writer saying that they hadn't even read much before 2019 and because he was always apologizing (but hey, Pirateaba from Wandering Inn also apologizes at least once per chapter so maybe it's a trend of good writers)

The prose is good, solid. Not too flowery and not too sparse, giving a good amount of information on descriptions and lore dumps without feeling dreary. Not often do i read all paragraphs without jumping out of descriptions, but Delta managed to retain me in his writing.

Grammar is, until right now, perfect. Except for a single verb that is in present tense instead of past tense that i failed to report because i really wanted to keep reading. Sorry Delta, that's your own fault for writing a good story.

Good story. Yep. Delta manages to write a good story on his first (re)try. It seems to follow a classic coming of age structure with hardships first so the main character can grow later. As of right now it has been mostly hardships but that's how this kind of stories start.

Between the sadness it can be seen sparks of light beautiflly written, that given the contrast to prior scenes makes me get emotional, which is always a good thing to happen, and means the author knows what he is doing (or in this case maybe he is just magically good (first try, really?))

The story is helped also by the interesting worldbuilding, that has some mixes that i feel rather interesting. Won't say examples though, it's better to preserve the sense of discovery.

Now, my only caveat with this story (that present verb notwithstanding). This may change later as the story continues, but i don't see the need to make this story an isekai. I find that as of right now, if the story was about just a girl born in that world in the circunstances she does, the story wouldn't have changed a bit, and the author wouldn't have to struggle that much with her character (not that it makes her a bad character, just that it could be easier)

Aaaaand i think i'm done. I just wanted to write a few sentences but somehow ended writing this.

So, people that managed to get here, read this series. And Delta, stop apologizing for f sake.

 

Tim_Saian
  • Overall Score

Talented Author with dare I say mastery over pacin

Reviewed at: Chapter 37: The Right Decision

Do not be pressured.

I started reading this on SH then hopped over to catch up here. Now I have. 

I've got to say, for your first time writing you've done remarkably to structure the pacing. Each chapter moves you towards something, even if we might not see it at first. Well done.

Comments and criticism will flood in, listen to them and pick them apart, using only what is necessary to better your story for YOU. I've seen too many authors get pressured into turning their novels into something else. Sensible platonic relationships btw characters turing around overnight and becoming sexual.

Speaking of critics, here's one;

Try to limit the words put into describing stuff. Personally I find myself skimming over descriptions of places, like forts, towns, cities and such. Alternatively you could commision art for these places or scenes, ingraining them in the readers memory. 

Otherwise. Goodluck!

vladerag
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The thing about "reincarnation in another world" stories is that they often rely on a gimmick of some kind; a unique selling point that makes them different from the others.  They rely on this because the genre is oversaturated, and many web novels and light novels have set the bar low.

In some ways, the first chapter of this novel could be swapped with the first chapter of nearly any other reincarnation novel and the casual reader would be hard pressed to note the difference.

However, I think that this novel's USP is a good one and as a result it is worth a look at.

So obviously the character dies in a truck related accident (hail our lord Truck-kun and his unknowable ways) and ends up in front of maybe God.  She died because of God so he grants are a request for her next life, to which she responds that she wishes to be the greatest magic user of all time.  So far, so generic, however the next part is where things diverge because magic is illegal in the world she is reincarnated in.

On the whole, this throws a twist into the usual formula and the author has thrown in a couple more twists as well.  I will stop talking specifics here because this is where it matters, things are bent enough that it doesn't feel like every other reincarnation story, and that makes it worth reading.

The only real problem I have is that the protagonist constantly talks about how mature she is with her adult mind, but is actually only occasionally mature.  You would think that someone planning to be a lawyer would know that you can't make everyone happy but this girl simply can't handle the idea that someone doesn't like her.

Someone calls her out for her use of illegal magic in a catastrophe and instead of saying, "we can talk about this after we escape the giant death monsters," she runs away.  When confronted with some random ass who doesn't like her because he thinks she is weak, instead of laughing at his frankly ludicrously childish philosophy, she agrees and tries to prove herself instead.  When working to escape from a horrible situation, she simply cannot seem to wrap her head around the idea that people near her could get hurt.

I wouldn't mind her inconsistency in the maturity of her actions if she didn't bring up his mature she supposedly was all the time though.  Most people would not have the level of maturity to act properly in these situations, but since she brought it up...

 

Tl;dr good story, worth a read with a slightly whiny protagonist.  (Perhaps deservedly whiny though)

Christie
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I am not one to write much, so, to be simple and direct: the plot is awesome, slow-paced but realistic.  I kind prefer slow-paced novels since you can see the character growth, and this is what you get with Melas: yes, a weak character that grows through pain, through the "tragedy" many reviews are complaining about. I was caught on the flow just as soon as I started and this is now one of my favorites.
Read the first 3 chapters, then you will be the judge of your next hours!

Starveling
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It has above average world building and below average character development. It finally ended its first major arc but it fell quite flat. It has the same problem that most portal fantasies do — the author can't decide on how to characterize their protagonist.

The first arc ends with some "twist" about one of the characters not being who you thought they were. Unfortunately, since the author struggles with character development, it’s particularly uncompelling.

The story being from Melas' perspective and her not having all the information is no excuse, the twist villain's character wasn't fleshed out enough for this to be a compelling "plot twist". It was never believable that he was a good guy in the first place. The fact that the author had Melas actually believe that he was and had her shocked at this development is why she's naive and childish, her actions afterwards have nothing to do with it.

Characters not being all that they appear to be is a common trope and there are many examples on how to do it well and how to not do it.

A conversation about missing women the paragraph before the villain is introduced and a very blunt sexist diatribe isn't foreshadowing, it's just telling the reader exactly what's going to happen. It was so obvious that I thought it was a ham-fisted attempt at purposefully making the reader and Melas dislike him, not a rushed attempt at foreshadowing. Melas rationalizing away his comments just adds to the impression of her being childish and unbelievable and the villain even getting mad at Melas in the first place makes no sense either and is antithetical to his goals. It’s an all around contrived situation intended only to push the plot forward.

Trusting a self proclaimed terrorist and zealot whose job description is nothing but breaking the law is something that a child might do. A real child.

Melas is not a real child and It breaks suspension of disbelief for someone who is mentally an adult to find any of this surprising and to react so much like a headless chicken. She can go ahead and take the actions that she did, it doesn't matter because that's not the unbelievable part of the situation, regardless of what the author says in an author's note.

This entire plot point is like reading a story where a woman befriends a high ranking mafia member and then the author expects the reader and the main character to somehow find it surprising that the mafia member is a criminal.

Abbolinarks
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For those interested in a review, thats the second paragraph, the first deals with some of the negative reviews.

 

First and foremost to many of the negative reviews. The story is marked to contain gore and traumatizing content so why are you whining about exactly that. It´s not even realy gruesome. Sure there is some death and slavery. Whatever. If you realy think thats dark it makes me think you´ve only read childrens novels or filter online by fluffy content. This book is driected towars adults not children.
Secondly all the whining about the strong lead. She´s 12 right now so wait until she´s grown up. Furthermore, we´ve seen her develop realy quickly and therefore a glimpse of future power.

This story progress more along the lines of an actual book and not some weekly manga. It´s therefore still a strong lead if she takes 1000 pages or more to become strong in power. Not even taking her mental strength into consideration.

 

Now to review to story. It has a quick transport from our world to a magic based fantay world. The progress is not the fastest and we´re shown most things on a daily development base. It´s the authors first work and it´s vissible in a few places as the language is nice to read but not of masterwork quality. Same goes for the world building and story. I find it to be very entertaining amd apriciate the authors care to fix issues if pointed out and to focus on a slow paced development.
The decision to turn the charcter into a newborn when ariving in the new world is interesting and I like it. I thing I might even have preferred to experience more of her childhood.

I can recommend this to everony who likes a fantasy novel and isn´t bothered by a young lead!

Soldieratarms
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As I said above, I'll keep this short. I just want to point out that while I understand where the plethora of negative reviews come from, with them finding a certain major arc unbearable, I do not find their arguments valid, as multiple times the author has pointed out where the difficult parts are, and has even given a way to bypass it entirely, and, given that you're reading this review, you are likely already well informed of the problems people have. the high average star rating speaks for itself. 

Ipoopalot
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NOT THE TYPICAL ROYAL ROAD STUFF

Reviewed at: Chapter 25: Dark Crusader

Rough edges, but the writer is developing this into a true RR gem. Give the story some time (there are some sadge moments littering the beginning portions of the story). If you're looking for a wish fulfillment fantasy, this story definitely is not for you.

 

Can't wait to see how the writing develops-- noticeable improvement from the first version of the story.