MERTICORE

MERTICORE

by Onch

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Meet Ian.

Ian is an IT consultant who accepted a supposedly impossible job for an incredible amount of money. However, he quickly learns why his colleagues avoided that gig like the plague.

Ian now hates his job, and wants to be fired to get severance pay. However, things don’t go as planned when he downloads MERTICORE, a mysterious program that popped out of nowhere.

After that, the life of Ian has changed drastically. Gone are the days of drinking bad coffee while staring at a screen.

His days are now filled with magic, fighting weird creatures and even weirder people. Let’s not even mention the comrades he collects along the way, which are more often than not worse than the (numerous) enemies he makes as he bumbles through alternate dimensions.

There’s also a disturbing number of laundromats for some reason.

Release Schedule: One or two long(2.5k+ words) chapters per week, maybe more depending on real life. 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Author
Onch

Onch

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BubblesWritesTrash
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Matrix LitRPG/Fantasy but with a protagonist missing neurons

Reviewed at: Chapter 6: Same Day Delivery

When I first read this I was like...Huh, this feels a lot like the Matrix. Protagonist in dead-end job getting some weird godlike powers, and it sounded quite interesting. And for the most part it's fun. That's it. This is a very funny, extremely easy to read piece of fiction, but one that I don't think particularly stands out.

Style:

Nothing to say here, the style is easy to read, a bit too simplistic at times, but I can't complain about that, since it's the nature of the genre. At times, there are a couple of repetitions that become a little annoying, but apart from that, yeah, good stuff mate, keep it up ;3

Story:

Easily the worst part here is the progression of the story. I can't say it's not creative, it's extremely so, although the particular melting pot of tropes tends to be a bit...heterogenous at times, what with technology and fantasy trying to mingle. Regardless, the issue I have is that after six chapters...nothing really happened. The plot is probably as far ahead as it was when I first started, the only thing having changed being the protagonist's knowledge of his abilities. With the chapter structure being quite dull and major events being barely sprinkled throughout with no real sense of consequence, I'm kind of at a lost for interest. The stakes aren't explained and even for a light read, I can't really ignore that. Not to mention the full-on expositiony nature of certain scenes that are nothing but telling the reader information, as if they're perusing a glossary.

Grammar:

Nearly perfect, but many instances of words missing and commas not being properly used. A reread will obviously iron these mistakes out, but until then, it's not flawless enough to warrant a full 5 stars.

Character:

Looking at it through the lens of the Japanese LN style, the characters are what they need to be. Simple, two-dimensional actors to a plot that's comedic. And they do that job quite all right, with the only issue being that the two sisters are nothing but one-liner, expositioning machines, whilst the main character is a wise-cracking jackass. They serve their purpose, but their purpose is just not good enough, in my humble opinion.

At the end of the day, this is a fun, high-spirited, light read, and I'd definitely recommend it to people just looking to have fun delving into wacky shenanigans that don't need too much effort to comprehend. 

Plasticpebble22
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

 I’m thoroughly enjoying this story.  

Style 5/5: The narrative snide is on point with this story.  Read the first chapter and you’ll see what I mean.

 Story 4.5/5: This is a creative take on a modern world with a hidden magical society. Laundromats are magical Amazon Lockers? It all makes so much sense…  I’m excited to learn more about the various organizations in this magical+mundane world. The story is moving at a good pace.

Grammar 4.5/5: This is very well edited, there were only a few small mistakes or sentences that didn’t quite sound right. Overall excellent grammar. 

Character 4.5/5: I love the voice of this main character. There is something about this narrative sass and cynicism that cracks me up.  Here’s a great line: “How can a man sound like Kermit the frog with a cold after he huffed an entire tank of helium?” I’m loving this. I feel like we lose track of this sass in later chapters, though, and I start seeing the main character make decisions that don’t really make much sense…

Gallekryde
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style (4.5/5): First-Person Present. The writing is suffused with the character’s voice, and his frustration/thrill is hilarious. There were some moments along the story where I had to back-track to reclarify a phrase, and some moments where showing instead of telling would be preferred but they are few and far between.
 
Story (4.5/5): Modern twist on conventional system litrpg. From Chapter 2, I got the feeling it would be like GTA in real-life using a programming language as the structure for the system. I was pleasantly surprised however as it swiveled directions from chapter 3 to a new exciting path. The only issue I could see is that some of the more technical aspects of programming would probably be lost on readers unfamiliar with them. However, it seems I am the target audience for this type of book so it did not bug me at all.

Grammar (5/5): No noticeable errors which detract from reading. A massive plus by royal road standards.


Characters (4/5): The character itself has a strong voice, but I felt like I was lacking additional context for his decisions. Specifically, a past. A lot of his motivations and the sensibilities driving his decisions made sense, but in a generic everyman sense. The strongest context came from Chapter 1 where he beleaguers the drudgery of modern-day corporate work. However, everything after that seemed to lack a background rationale.

YAK Edge
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Unlimited power...very limited brain space

Reviewed at: Chapter 6: Same Day Delivery

Merticore takes place in a world where science and fantasy mesh and where all kinds of different genres meet. It's a RR chop suey and quite funny. Though how well connected and integrated they are is something one has yet to see.

The style reads nicely and there not many issues. Same for Grammar.

As for the characters, our MC Ian is many things. But intelligent, he is not. He's a knack for making stupid descisions and questionable judgement calls. It will be fun to see it blow up in his face. Besides that, he or the other characters don't feel remarkable to so far.

joeyslatermilligan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It's like a bit of The Matrix but then also a bit of... Bruce Almighty? Maybe? 

 

Basically, the main character realises that using MERTICORE he can change reality, so it starts out like it's a science fiction vibe, simulation-is-real kind of thing, but then wizards show up and it all just gets a bit mad.

I agree with other reviews that the MC is really quite an idiot. He's making bad decisions all over the place, so he's not a very sympathetic character. You're only really rooting for him because he's the main character, not because he's particularly likeable.

The story also just kind of unravels in a bizarre way, where you really aren't sure what might happen next because the characters aren't making logical decisions. For that reason you really have to kind of pay attention while you read... I had a moment where I walked away from my computer and then came back and was reading a few paragraphs ahead of where I was, and when I came back I was like "wait, WHAT'S happening now?!"

But if you can accept that anything could happen, and that it's a crazy world where magic is real and weird apps can alter reality, it's actually a refreshingly fun read!

Marg_Naroth
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Do not mess with the it guy! This is a fresh fiction - a new concept for me for sure- , the concepts, the characters, the meme and pop culture references. The pacing is good. Sometimes I got mad at Ian (MC) for he is a little prick, but hey it is his personality after all, and a well written character and so are the sisters. I still have to finish two chapters, but this will be fun to do so no spoilers here. 

There is one thing I like to add to my review and it is that this fiction have a good "magic system". Sometimes you will be guessing what you would do or make if you were on Ian's shoes.

You have some Matrix vibes on very the beginning of the story, but it develops on a pleasant divergent way from that movie. The action is very good. The diferent perspectivies were a great plus to add in the novel. 

 This would make a good movie or series for sure. I guess RR is the site with the most creative people around the globe and some Hollywood producers, or maybe other producers, could pay more attention to fictions like the adventures of our hated and loved MemeLord. No good saying this, but hey, This is just my opinion.

TitusGM
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Interesting story and premise, strange character motivations

Reviewed at: Chapter 13: Forced Vacation

(Full disclosure, this review is a part of a review swap)

This story follows a main character who has been granted a magic system that is basically a real life admin console. Want a better car? Edit it to increase its horsepower. Want a better hangun? Make one that... Has infinite ammo and shoots high-explosive rounds? *looks at the author* Are we sure this is a balanced power?

Anyway, the only thing holding this MC back is the fact that he needs this magical ability in order to get him out of all the problems that he gets himself into. Well, that and the fact that the designers of his power took a page out of modern gaming companies' book and gouge him with microtransactions for anything and everything.

Style score:

Style is fine and gets the humor across pretty well

Grammar score:

I didn't notice any errors (though, I am not the best at catching them)

Story score:

The story has an interesting premise with an intriguing power for the MC. However, the story is a bit hampered, in my opinion by the characters which I will go into below.

Character score:

The characters are in my opinion the weakest part of this story. They are funny, but their motivations seem.. Strange.

The MC gets his super power and immediately uses it supe up his car, but then he immediately seems intent on upgrading weapons. And the nagging thought that I had was... Why? The MC doesn't have anyone to fight, he doesn't have any enemies, and he doesn't know anything about what is going to be coming down the line. So why is he intent on making his weapons better?

He also then picks a fight with a supernatural agency.. And escalates the situation because.... they were a bit rude I guess?

I guess what I am getting at is that the MC's motivations don't make sense. Part of that may be that he is an idiot, and since that is probably how he was intended to be written I guess that makes sense. However, I guess I don't find him enough of an idiot for it to be funny?

Not sure, anyway, the characters seem like the weak point in my opinion, but otherwise it seems like a good novel

ducksgoquack
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I don't write these things often, but my God.

 

The beginning of the story, heck I think the first half of the first chapter, had me drawn in. And then this "IT Consultant" opens his mouth. Then he starts to react to this new world.

AND THEN.

You will read a few more chapters wondering what happened, maybe it will improve later,  but no.

No, it won't. OP MC. Irrational and "wacky"  a "MEMELORD" (Seriously called himself that.)

We have no stated age for the MC but as another reviewer suggested (8-10) but I would argue against that. This is a 12-15 year old with the power to change reality.

He edits his bank account to change his balance, then says he shouldn't do too much else people may notice him.
Next chapter breaks into a police cordoned off laboratory and literally mugs two "cops". ( with the gun that he modified to be basically a grenade launcher that was initially for self defence purposes.) 

He acknowledges they may be officers of the law then proceeds to commit credit card fraud with their stolen "business" card. 

Was the goal for the character to be like this?  

I am more disappointed than anything else. Merticore you took a great premise and a great introductory half chapter and meme'd it away. I think the author needs to slow down and make his characters more substantial. at least more substantial  than a wonderbread and mayo sandwich.

 

/slow clap

Psyren1596
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The author has built a good repution with providing captivating stories for this genre. Although it's sad that his muse for the time.travel() fic is gone, I am positively excited for this new series ( especially now that I have a lot of spare time ;) )

 

Edit: chapter 16

This has turned out to be a crack-fic; still good, but be prepared.

Eyeball1844
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style: It's pretty well done for the most part. The author does a good job of injecting character voice into the descriptions and the narrative. The only issue is that I wasn't particularly moved by the detail of places and characters.

Grammar: It's good. I didn't see any major mistakes or see anything that made me have to stop and reread.

Story: It's very comedic and silly. Lots of light-hearted fun to be had here and MERTICORE is a cool system. I wish it was explained a bit more or that the MC would expand how he tried using it.

Character: The MC just seems a little too slapstick at times but it's fine because this is a comedic story after all. The sisters, Nicole and Mary, seem a bit out of their depth but maybe that's just because Memelord is too powerful.

Overall: I liked it. It was fun and worth giving a try. We need more funny novels like this.