Aether Knight

by TracyGregory

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi GameLit LitRPG Male Lead Strategy Virtual Reality

Aether Online sounded like Alex's dream. Now, it's his nightmare.

After winning a prize, Alex is one of the first people to play Aether Online, the worlds first full immersion VRMMO. Alex quickly learns that once you're in, you can't get out.

Trapped in the Aether Lands, Alex must become an Aether Knight to survive. Struggling to survive in a world under siege, Alex must learn to fulfil his new role, hunting the deadly machine beasts known as Machina for parts. Every kill brings him new materials, new equipment to forge, each a small step towards becoming more powerful.

As his new role as a monster hunter takes him further and further out into the Aether Lands, Alex will face the truth about Aether Online.

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Word Count (VIII)
Top List #1500
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter One - Aether Online ago
Chapter Two - Adventures in perfect guarding. ago
Chapter Three - Learning to Loot ago
Chapter Four- Towers in the mist ago
Chapter Five- A Knight to Remember ago
Chapter Six - Preparing for Adventure ago
Chapter Seven - Monster Hunting ago
Chapter Eight - Optional Questing ago
Chapter Nine - Getting Crafty ago
Chapter Ten - In the Eyes of a God ago
Chapter Eleven - Pot Luck ago
Chapter Twelve – Emergency Expedition ago
Chapter Thirteen - Battle in the Sky ago
Chapter Fourteen – Revelations ago
A Note From The Author ago
Frontier: Chapter One – Grading on a Curve ago
Frontier: Chapter Two - Through the Looking Glass ago
Frontier: Chapter Three - Lost and Found ago
Frontier:Chapter Four - What are you doing in my swamp? ago
Frontier: Chapter Five – A Bigger Fish ago
Chapter Twenty (Frontier: Chapter Six) - Extreme Expense ago
Chapter Twenty One (Frontier: Chapter Seven) - Mandatory Testing ago
Chapter Twenty Two (Frontier:Chapter Eight) - An Unexpected Conflict ago
Chapter Twenty Three (Frontier:Chapter Nine) - Here be Dragons ago
Chapter Twenty Four (Frontier:Chapter Ten) - Racing up the Cliffs ago
Chapter Twenty Five (Frontier: Chapter Eleven) - The Descent ago
Chapter Twenty Six (Frontier: Chapter Twelve) - Culture Clash ago
Chapter Twenty Seven (Frontier: Chapter Thirteen) - The Escape ago
Chapter Twenty Eight (Frontier: Chapter Fourteen) - Battle at the forest's Edge ago
Another note from the Author. ago
Chapter Twenty Nine (Godslayer: Chapter One) - The coming Storm ago

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Monster Hunter Mixed With Horizon Zero Dawn

Reviewed at: Chapter Fourteen – Revelations

Monster Hunter mechanics in a world similar to Horizon Zero Dawn, what more could you ask for?  For those who are less into the video gaming world, if you look into either of those games just a little bit you will see what I mean (And I would recomend both).  This story mixes the post-apocalyptic/robot monsters and world of Horizon with the progression, hunting, and crafting of Monster Hunter (to great effect).

That being said, its not perfect.  There are two main problems in my mind.  First, the story is too closely related to Monster Hunter.  While it didn't take away from my enjoyment of it any, and may have actually made it more enjoyable, it still was a bit too much in my eyes.  At certain points it felt borderline like fanfiction rather than a completely original work.  This likely isn't a problem for most, if any readers, but its something that I think the author should keep in mind for future original works, if only for publishing and monitization purposes (if the author cares about such things).

The second, and more objective, problem is the pacing.  It seems to be all over the place.  The story starts off slow, hunting the weakest of monsters for mediocre parts, then the main characters kill something two tiers higher than them, then something slightly less strong than what they killed last, then the strongest type of monster in existance.  All of this in fourteen chapters.  In my mind pacing should be more consistant and slow, but if it has to be fast, at the very least it should be consistant.  This story is neither.

If you compare this to the inspiration for this story, Monster Hunter, you can see the stark difference.  In Monster Hunter, there is a slow and steady progression of hunting the weakest monsters, aquiring their gear, killing something slightly stronger, aquiring their gear, etc. until eventually you reach the endgame where you are able to barely stand a chance against the strongest monsters using the skills and equipment you got on the way.

I think that by pacing it the way that you did, not only did the story feel rushed and the main characters' progressions feel unrealistic, but you also lost out on valuable world and character building time that could have taken place in the buildup and character growth phase leading up to the climax of dealing with a Deus or some other extraordinarily strong beast.

With all of this criticism out of the way, I should say that I really like the story.  I think that there are very few gramatical problems, the characters are interesting and believable, and the world building and the story kept me reading all the way to the end of what has been written so far.  Overall, one of my favorite new stories of the last few weeks and months.

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This is a story I came to just because of the cover... and my only regret about it is that I appeared too soon. As of this review, this story is just getting into its stride. The grammer and writing style is wonderfully done, and as of yet I've noticed no inconcistancies or implementations to the game mechanics or characters that are neither unneccessary or superflous. The "game" itself would be a mix of Horizon: Zero Dawn and Monster Hunter with all the well thought out monsters and the fighting style we all know and love from Monster Hunter. Now all Alex has yet to accomplish is to stick his sword in his shield to form a charge blade and ascend. Kudos.

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Reviewed at: Chapter One - Aether Online

TL;DR: The writing style of this novel is overly descriptive in dynamic situations, when it shouldn't be. The action is interrupted every few seconds to describe too much of every piece of equipment and action being taken, interrupting the flow. Three and a half stars for now.

Reason for rewrite: Yesterday I was pissed off, now I'm in more descriptive mood slowly moving towards angry again.

You're using overly detailed descriptions in dynamic situations, which effectively halts any sense of momentum you could have been building and leaves nothing to the imagination. The result is frustrating to read because there is nothing for you to fill in and the action is interrupted with every new item and it's detailed slow-mo designation.

For example the PARAGRAPH describing the stun grenade, pouch and it's lanyard as the MC is grabbing it in the first scene in the first chapter. That's too much. If you instead used just a few adjectives and interspersed description with the action, the whole text would flow a lot better.

As it is you have an information about a mecha lion charging at him . And all of a sudden stop it all to describe his armor, his pouch and how the grenade is round and has futuristic glowing lines and the FUCKING lanyard on the pouch.

It's ok to have SOME description in dynamic situation. But, instead of keeping it short and to the point or integrating it into the action you describe the WHOLE thing, to the smallest unimportant detail, the first time it enters the scene. WHY? What's wrong with staggering the description over multiple interactions and keeping the action flowing?

There is a natural time when to use detailed descriptions  - AND THAT TIME IS WHEN THE MC/AUDIENCE IS FOCUSED ON THE THING YOU'RE DESCRIBING. I highly doubt your MC is focused on the COLOR of the pouch and how it is affixed to his armor when rifling thorugh it for the stun grenade. Or has the time to ascertain how nice the glowing lines on the round mettalic surface of the grenade look while throwing it. He's focusing on the mechanical feline sprinting at him. At least that's my take on things, because that's what I'd fucking do and you have not indicated otherwise.

You are instead keeping us diconnected from the character and describing the UNIMPORTANT shit that could have been focused BEFORE or AFTER the dynamic part. OR BETTER - It could have been just outlined and left to the imagination until later. But NO. Here - in an act of exhaustive flow stopping padding -  is the whole thing described in glorious detail.

Why the hell are you not describing what the hero is focusing on, thinking or feeling? You might have been going for a third person view of the fight, but still. You have disconnected the audience from the happening completely - and that's not good. Just describing the shit nobody cares about and left the actually important part - the ACTION - to detached unemotional clinical description.

The same thing with describing how he sidestepped and then cut off the thing's tail. And THE DETAIL on how the blood splattered around, completely halting any momentum again on UNNECESSARILY DETAILED description of the blood splatter. That could have been used in the aftermath when the hero should stop and look around at the devastation brought by his actions.



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The content is pretty good~ its a great start, I look forward to reading more of the story, it takes a little bit of getting used to, so far no harem ( PERFECT ) and its not a power trip as of yet, no worldbuilding besides a single town so I dont know the scale but all in all Im happy its not a copy paste harem or power trip fantasy, at least for now~

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gives me horizon zero dawn and monster hunter world vibes, barely any grammar errors and when there is one its minor and barely noticeable. Characters feel real and not two dimensional and the story so far has kept me engaged. Loving this author, keep up good work