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"Zack.." I hear the sweet moans, The touch of my hands makes her skin flares and only making the sweet moans come out more. I look down to see her beautiful eyes shut as I push. I pull the hair out of face and kiss her gently on her lips but she does the unthinkable and grab my hair, pulling me back down. "I love you Zack.."

"I love you too, Kelli-"

Before anymore memories consume me, I hear someone else calling my name. Someone not so sweet.

I slowly open my eyes to see a hint of sunlight coming through the curtains. I groan even more knowing its my manager calling me awake.

I look up to see him with his arms cross and his frown shinning bright.

"What." I say, glaring back at him for interrupting my dreams.

"You have a meeting about the tour. And you are suppose to be there in about an hour!" I sit up, remembering the meeting. The stupid meeting to tell me where I play and how I play. Since I've been in Hollywood I have never picked my tours myself. Not even a single bit of it like backup singers and dancers. Heck, I don't even get to pick my guitar I play with. If it was up to me I would use my lucky guitar, It may be five years old but its what got me here. It allows me to remember old times. Times I didn't get chased by the press, time I didn't have fake friends who total spills where you're going to be at that night just so they can get a gimps of fame.

"Right." Is all I reply back before falling back down on my pillow, ready to head asleep. I then feel my blanket tugged off me till I am expose to the cold. "What the hell man!" I say as I sit up and look up at him.

He shrugs and points to his watch. "I expect you down in 15 and we leave in 20. Zack, don't make me call Trish." 

My eyes widen, remembering Trish, the person that is the scariest thing out there. Hell, I wouldn't even call her a girl let alone a person. "Fine, whatever." I say, stretching before standing up. "Now if you excuse me, I'll be changing and rather you not see me. Please and Thanks."

He nods and makes his way to the door. "14 minutes left. Hurry." I nod and watch him shut the door. I let out a breath and look around the room.

It's big, in fact this house is big, I just recently moved in here. Its my third house in the past two years. I can never find the ONE, they all have flaws and apparently that's not normal. Apparently a house is like the love of your life. You'll know when its right. And so far, this big house is not it. It may have its own pool with a waterfall, but something is still missing. 

I grab a pair of black skinny jeans and designer shirt that cost way too much to be a simple black tee with a couple of holes in it. I make my way to the master-bath and grab my brush. My hair has been died multiple times. One time it was even pink. But right now, its back to boring black. My roots threatening to show. I sigh. As I place on my hat and sunglasses. I never got why people would try to hide themselves from the world. But now I understand, I understand that it sucks sometimes knowing TMZ is ahead of you with your own shit. A year ago, my girlfriend cheated on me. How did I find out, a magnetize with her face on it, kissing another guy. Something I still can't understand how I didn't find out  sooner. She spent A LOT of time with him but my dumb brain thought they were bestfriends. Stupid me.

I walk down my staircase to see my manager standing at the end, making a call to someone. Someone important since he has his business face and voice on.

"Yes sir. Mhm, Sounds good. Okay, yes, we'll be there soon. Thanks. Okay, bye." He hangs up the phone and looks up at me, I smile awkwardly only for him the shake his head. "Lets go before you arrive 30 minutes late again."

I nod, wanting to ask who called him but instead I keep my mouth shut. We never had that friendship relationship. We've only been partners in business. If we weren't client and manger we would never be talking. We would be nothing more then pass by on street wave. Not even a hello would be said.

I place my shoes on and watch closely as he grabs the keys and starts opening the door.

I stand up, ready to face the angry people about my tardiness. I never been the one to show up early unless its a show. I guess that's why I get the bad boy rep. of Hollywood.

~~~
As we sit and drive in silence, my manager finally speaks. "Your girlfriend is meeting up with you at lunch today."

I look over and glare. "She's not my girlfriend." I say making things clear but all he does is roll his eyes.

"Think what a good deal it would be having the biggest actress and the biggest rock-star together. You already have a ship name. It would get you bigger deals. More people would love you and think of you as a better person. Its a big deal Zack."

I sigh and say nothing. One thing they don't tell you is Hollywood is filled with fake relationships. A lot of young couple these days are just there to get one of each other known.  I know a lot of people who act in love in the eye of the press but the minute the door is closed, they fall apart.

Something I train myself to get used to. Something that could happen to me. Something that is happening with Baily Mars. The hottest actress out there. Apparently. I don't see it though. She's just another pretty face. If she wasn't famous, she would be just like everyone else, blending into the crowd. Being one with the normal people. Something I wish I could go back and do because no one told me how my life would change this much. How all I know, would be out and all new stuff would be in.

Ruby never and still doesn't get this much attention. Not since she had her baby girl. Something so pure and innocent born into this sick world. But I love Josie with all my heart. I am her uncle. 

"Now Zack." I look up as we pull into a parking spot. "No talking unless its to agree. This is going to be this biggest tour yet and I can't have a no brainier like you talk about what YOU want. Its all what the label wants. Do I make myself clear."

"Yes dad." I say mocking him at how controlling he sounds right now.

"Remember, give your smile." I nod pulling my fake smile on. Something I learn to do midway, when things started becoming less fun and more drama. Something I still can't seem to get rid of.

~~~

 I sit at the large table with a bunch of business to people gather to talk how big we are talking about. My last three tours I sold out every which is saying something since I've only been on four tours. This will be my fifth and biggest. This album made roughly 100.6 million dollars. Reaching past many artist. I've even won a couple of Grammy's and awards for my music.  Over 20 so far. And many more to come to the album was just released about a week ago. Its breaking records for my age.

I'm thankful but still I wish it could be different.

"So, We will hit up New York first. Maybe New York City." I look up dreading the words of the state. Its close to where I hate. To where I refuse to go. No way could I come there. But New York should be fine. In fact, its kind of far with New York City.

"Well, New Years is coming up. I heard they are looking for someone to sing the ball dropping." I gulp not wanting to face my fears of that dreaded city. It could be one of the biggest chance of my life time but I still will regret it.

"We could do Rockin' Eve and after do the show at Carnegie Hall." One guy says, his suit way too tight, he seems like the type to cheat on his wife with the assistant.

"Yes! Perfect. And then next could be New Jersey to act like he cares about smaller cities too!" 

Everyone nods and arrange more dates and times till finally it settled. 46 states, 5 world tour concerts at Britain, New Zealand, Australia, and Japan. 

I should be happy. I Should be thankful I am able to do this and have the chance to interact with fans. To feel one with the music.

But I am not. I am dreading this whole thing since right now, I feel like I'm forced into music. Its like my whole life I loved music and played everyday but now I can't even enjoy listening to it on the radio without feeling the dread of the lack of music I'm feeling. I've lost my muse. And I can't find it back because I don't know what it was that started it. 

That got me writing over 100 songs..

"Okay. Its set. You'll start your ticket sale next Friday when the dates are for sure set. Zack, do you have any say on this?"

I look up, hoping I can say what I really want but I see the face. My manager face is pale knowing I may say something to blow this whole thing.

"Uhm- ur- No, To be honest I am really filled with joy about how many tours I have this time. This is by far, the best album I have." I put on my fake smile making them awe in joy, thinking I am enjoying this whole conversation when in fact, I am zoning out and wishing to find my muse again.

"Well, we'll contact you Zack or Tom here for the sets dates and theater but for sure you're doing New Years Eve. So get ready ZACK," I nod and stand up, shaking everyone's hand. 

"Can't wait." One last smiles and shakes and I am out letting out a breath I didn't know I had.

"Good job. You didn't blow this one."

I sigh and nod. "Thanks." I mutter not wanting to face his backlash of what I did wrong. He always has what he says is "feedback" but that's not the case at all. In fact, its rude, disgusting comments that tare me apart. That make me overthink about how I mess up every little fucking thing. How I can never seem to get things right.

"Time for that lunch. Now remember this would be a great thing for the press. Having the golden couple be you and her could be so much and help sell more tours."

I nod and just mentally groan. I shouldn't use someone like this. But I know she secretly wants the same thing. A love descent to fail before even starting.

Great.

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L00K1NG

  • Somewhere Crying
  • Jesika

Bio: I’m new to this site. I’m from Wattpad but I just wanted a change of pace... So thank you for understanding :) I’m Jesika, Jessie, or Jess. She/Her. 18 and my passion is writing, drawing and playing the sims.

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