Life in another world with an Immunity System

by HBDLo78

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Dungeon High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

NOTE: I just finished a large scale editing with the chapters. From now on, the world is no longer a 1000X Earth. I have added my original element. From here on, with a few exceptions, no similarity can be found with our Earth. Thank you. 

The change has been applied from chapter 1. So if anyone finds any missed places or traces of my previous world-building, please comment and notify me. 

Andel lived in a world where those with powers will have the final say in everything. In his world, having no aptitude to either magic or Ki means you are even worse than ants. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any aptitude to either.

His life should have been hell, but due to being the son of two powerful parents and descendant of a powerful family saved him from a wretched fate. Life was harsh, but Andel wasn’t one to mourn and do nothing. From his childhood, he learned all kinds of close-combat styles and martial arts, proving himself to be a genius at close combat as long as ki isn’t involved.

As genius as he was, there was no way he could match those with powers, right?

Wrong!

Andel had another identity. He was originally a person from Earth who got transmigrated after an accident. Moreover, during his transmigration, he also gained a system that gave him resistance to various things in exchange for experience points.

With the Immunity System in hand, Andel decided to finally step into this magical new world and make a name for himself, after spending twenty years in training.

My Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/HBDLo78

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HBDLo78

HBDLo78

Unknown One

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Onyavar
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Story
Grammar
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Reviewed at chapter 12. That was very early, keep that in mind. This story might still improve drastically.

However, I'm not giving it a high rating yet. I am sticking to my regular reviewing scale, where "5 stars" really rewards the best story possible in all respects. My two stars here translate as "passing as a readable story".

Grammar: Occasional typos caused me to think what was meant with a sentence. Not too bad, but then there is also regularly mixing up the tense. People speak in past tense about their present, even.

Style: The first chapter was more polished than the follow-ups. Repetitive phrasing occurs, but I see a much bigger problem with a storytelling style that switches between perspectives way too often: Third-person narrator at one point, third-person perspective from some side characters right thereafter. Main character narrates his own story in first person; but switches between overview narration of the world, and actually living through the scenes. That switching messes up the natural flow I expect in a story. There is a buildup in the story, so it is not all bad though.

Now, onto my worldbuilding (story) score. Spoilers follow about the early world at the current stage, from here on: The world is just like Earth, but 1000x bigger. The United States and even the United Nations exist. Technology level is more or less like our current Earth, but they also have magic, and Ki. One year is a bit longer than in our world. Oh, and Ohio is fighting against Pennsylvania because everyone in PA was turned into a monster ~300 years ago. Monsters are called "elves". Also, billionaire semi-noble families in the US are maintaining forces of child soldiers. Okay. A lot of the stated premises (yes, each sounds interesting on its own) should have had a serious impact on everything and each other, but apparently not? So far, this is mostly backdrop for a vaguely Wuxia-themed power-leveling story, and nothing really interesting has come out of all that.

Lastly, evaluating the story on its own (character score, because so far, the story has only revolved around the MC, and side characters are bland pretty one-dimensional): Main character is Andel, reborn Earther whose memories were implanted into a newborn of this other world. Current age is ten years, and he is a new apprentice/inductee into a spy/assassination training grounds, where he is thrown at challenges that should be impossible to him, except he has superpowers which are exploding into life right on the first day he has entered the facility (when before, he had secretly honed them for ten years, and 'only' built himself into a slightly overpowered person). Upon entering the facility, the whole institution seems to focus on Andel, everyone is opinionated on him, and there are a few ongoing mysteries that indicate other people are similarly reborn people out of Andel's previous life. Or, something else is going on.

Final note, the story has not progressed much, so big positive surprises are possible right in the next chapters, and the author has made promises in that direction. However, the newest chapters are very short and might be rushed. With what I have seen so far of this tale, it doesn't make me interested to stick around and wait for those surprises, for too long.

Waxisfun
Overall

Definitely get the feeling that english is not the main language of the author. Also has a very strong XianXia writing style to it that had i known was present, I wouldn't have started reading. A lot of the characters so far (as of chapter 11) feel very two dimensional, and there are many simple grammar mistakes that interrupt the flow of the story. The pacing is ok but so far the story is very predictable and I feel like I can guess everything thats going to happen pretty easily.

mars
Overall

Not really sure what this is or trying to be.

Reviewed at: 11. Learning Knife Arts

It reads like a spam E-mail with some of the sentence structure.

It meanders in purpose not slice of life, not a training story, not an OP protagonist story or any of the other general story types we see or the unusual story types you sometimes find it just is what it is which is fine with either interesting narrative, worldbuilding or characters however this has none of that.

It has a lie of a system not an immunity system but a resistance system with some elements of a regen system, as an example the fatigue immunity in ch10 it has stamina regen and an energy consumption decrease, this is not an immunity whatsoever actual fatigue immunity would be more along the lines if for x period of time take no effects of fatigue eventually maxing out to no effects of fatigue ever.

The story is just irritatingly dumb in execution, example joins the assassin part of their clan, kills no one. I feel like this would be the first thing you would need to be tested on but not in this case for whatever reason.

This isn't an advanced review due to the crap quality of this review but i think i got my points across.

OBLIVION LORD
Overall

After the edit it is much better.

Previous review---------------------------------------

The names of countries are exactly like earth and the geographical position is also exactly same it irritates me extremely. It would have been so easy to change names and description of world butt author used earth ×1000 times as the world discription. Everything else is fine only if I ignore this.

Dos
Overall

Interesting and different system, high potential 

But the story's tone is childish with clasic "young master" tropes.

Hopefully gets better as the story progresses

The author is responsive and has already corrected many of the comments.

Power scaling is probably going to be a problem with the mc starting extremely OP. 

As of chap18 none of the side characters have been fleshed out and are just 1d backdrops 

Lorenachan
Overall

Definitely worth a read.

i only got to chapter 5 thus far though.

I'll update later

djndf f. F h h g f d s g g g. D f f f f s. D t g f d e f f f f y tr f. D f ff S. D th g f dx. F f g d s ff 

Afro-Bourne246
Overall

‘Surprise me!’ definitely surprised me!

Reviewed at: 20. Die Young?

The immunity system got my attention and I would like to say that this was an enjoyable read. The world building is easy to digest and the fight scenes were great. Good read, if you ignore the fact that it seems like the MC might end up being your usual RR isekai MC (which I hope is not the case).