The Aether Universe
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
It was a normal morning for Tai, until his longtime friend, Jake, warned him. Jake warned him that something was happening to Earth, the whole universe. It was being integrated into the Aether Universe, where all worlds and universes go to.
Entering the Aether Universe, humans must survive in a new environment filled with danger at every corner where many beings that have spent all their lives in the Aether Universe await, controlling vast empires that span across many planets.
Follow the story of Tai as he travels the Aether Universe, getting used to the new normal, making a name for himself and becoming a legend.
This is my first book here and this book is inspired by The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound.
The way to get status points were based on the way in Unlimited Power - The Arcane Path. Note: I'm only borrowing the way to get status points as I thought it was cool.
I am an amateur author and am writing this as a cool hobby to get me through quarantine. If you see any grammar mistakes or anything, please let me know. Criticism is accepted, but don't use that as an excuse to just hate the book. If you don't like the book, tell me why so I can improve upon it. Cheers!
Schedule: 1 chap a day
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Your vocabulary and descriptions are horrendous. Your way of tying sentences to each other makes me want to tie a noose.
First chapter: "As he was looking at the mirror, he did some poses, flexing his muscles. Tai had muscles, but it wasn't like bodybuilders with their gigantic muscles. His muscles were lean and toned as big muscles would slow him down when running."
All this description when you could sum it up easily instead of saying the same words over and over. "He flexed his arms and posed in the mirror. His body was lean and toned from his years of running." Isn't that so much better than bloviating all over the page?
It all feels so rushed! There's no time for anyone to digest their feelings, think about anything, process anything, but suddenly they've accepted what's happened and we're moving on!
And the main character shows as much uniqueness as a brick in a wall.
And the second chapter: WHAT THE HELL!? When did he suddenly jump to level 34? He didn't even kill the monster, but he gets a massive power boost?!
Chapter three: HOW THE HELL DOES WALK WITH ONE LEG!? Is there a crutch? Don't just say "Ki" or whatever the hell, tell me how he does it with ki.
Am I being mean about this? Yes. Am I wrong? No. Just because it's legible doesn't mean it's worth reading if at times it's borderline incoherent.
I'm sorry author, I can't continue. Look, you can't just suddenly GIVE someone the skill to resist most pain. And if you do atleast have them learn how to do it on their own. This system says it's supposed to help people without an aether organ, right? Then it should be doing that, not giving someone information on how to do everything as long as they try aswell as rewarding them with strength for just trying. Overall it seems like a convuluted way to ascend everyone to a higher level. Why exactly can he instantly know how to manipulate Ki instantly? And he even turns his ki into physical objects and uses it for a light. You may aswell just combine all three energies if they do all the same things. Next, there just simply isn't any sort of character, where is the characters? He immediately gets excited by killing random animals and such even though it doesn't help him, sure, he can get food from them, but is that really the first thought coming to him? Before being given the system he's with family. Also why exactly does he get Martial Arts from punching something? They are called Arts for a REASON. At most he should only get unarmed proficency or something. The grammar and such isn't that bad, but overall the story and such couldn't hook me in during the first couple chapters. I decided to read up to around chapter 5, afterall SURELY it gets better right? And it did. Only in other PoVs though. Make them the main characters, they got more character that's for sure! xD
The story itself is not inherently bad, a overused plot yes but that just means a story needs creativity to make it blossom in a environment that is more competitive then other plots. This story sadly does not do that. The grammar and writing skills are excellent and story well planned. The story itself though is rushed, pushed and filled with plot armour it's actually insane. With a legendary surname, godlikes skills, deity's throwing stuff at them just because. The story is attempting a darker style but it gets lost in the power fantasy. I love a good power fantasy but a more subtle approach to his family origins or help from powerful entity's would of gone smoother rather then bam new powers. Also the character is shallow, he's athletic, and? Yeah not much else he literally just calls him self a psychopath to justify killing for the first time, random creatures. That would have more of a emotional impact or even self doubt even with such a mental disease and psychopathy. He killed baby's for gods sake, he hasn't a shred of humanity a puppet played by the writer with no heart. I still will continue reading, but I think it requires a lot of refinement. Emotions in the character, realistic reactions in bad guys, less obvious power boosts, hard work on the mc side of things instead of power levelling by just randomly playing with his ability's.
If you like LitRPG without logic flaws, and with atleast decent game mechanics, then this story isn't for you.
I was annoyed and stopped reading at chapter 3 because:
MC somehow leveled up to Level 2, it wasn't explained how. Then, he leveled up from Level 2 to Level 34, no explanation in the story. However, in the comments section, when someone asked "How did he lv up that fast?" the author responded "It's the Pain Resistance skill leveling up. Every status point he earns is one level."
MC will be over level 9000 by chapter 10 probably, and all he'll need to do is try different types of pain resistances (stab wounds, poison, elemental, acid, necrotic, etc).
9/10ths of these reviews are telling you the story is bad. They're not lying. Believe them before you inflict this story upon yourself.
Besides the grammar being awful, the system doesn't seem like it makes much sense, and the story definitely doesn't. The MC's friend is some sort of.. alien? And he warns him about the system. But it comes across as shoehorned in and is totally unnecessary. The system initializes like 3 seconds later so it's not like he needed someone to tell him it's about to happen with 0 helpful hints. Remove the friend being an alien and literally nothing changes.
And that's just two chapters in. I can't imagine it gets better.
I was interested in the premise but after a few chapters it was so full of wish fulfilment I lost interest. It doesn't feel like the MC has earned anything. There is a little struggle but the system is so ridiculous that a stubbed toe is likely to earn him a level. If the story was slowed down and progress and leveling were earned it could be an enjoyable read.
I'll be frank with you:
The concept is good.
The plot is so-so.
The content/descriptions/pacing of the story is terrible.
Awesome novel wont regtet reading it .
Everything cool so far nice setting .
Lets be honest there are some loopholes but nothing major
Your concept might get better along the way as the story progress. But it's in need of some rewritting.
The pacing is horrendous and your very selective describtive writing puts me off.
Also when your leg gets ripped off i highly effing doubt you shrug it off, kill the thing and fucking hobble away on one leg. Come on man at least act like it matters...