What happens when a man gets transported into a foreign world filled with magic?
Will his knowledge in hardware technology help him out after he discovers its correlation to the words of power?
How will he fit in with the other noble houses as the lowly 4th son?
How will his story play out in a world where skills and stats equal power and status?
First time trying to write a LitRPG, so problems might arise x3
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As I said it's a decent start but drops into mediocre for me. It's the same old isekai story with little to nothing unique about it. I’ll be giving this one a pass for now.
I'll also say that it needs a lot of editing. Beyond simple grammatical errors and misspelling that could be fixed by pasting the story in a google doc the author sometimes uses odd stilted sentences.
- "He and the girls were supposed to head into the lower floors of the dungeon this day, but from his standpoint that would have to wait till the next day." Chapter 12
- "He closed his eyes and rubbed the space between the eyebrows and his nose that was called the glabella." Chapter 13
It’s a no from me dawg.
I really like the world the author has created. Its differences to our own are are reflected in the plot and the attitudes of the characters, other than the main (presumably from our world). There is some interesting creativity in the reflection of scrolls and runes to circuitry and programming. I want to see how these ideas are used. Furthermore, the story is a fair balance between action and crafting, which is probably difficult to pull off.
Most of the characters have complexity, or if undeveloped, there are suggestions of development to come. A few are common tropes, but I don't think it detracts much, and serves more as a shorthand for the reader.
However, the writing could do with a great deal of editing and refinement. When in action or conversation it's generally fine, but exposition is poor. A certain person somehow does something in a certain place far too often. That's exaggerated, but it doesn't only happen from the perspective of a character, which would be more understandable. The phrasing also appears for the omniscient narrator (not personified). Sentences are not infrequently repetitive or oddly constructed, with no obvious grammar or spell check run.
These stylistic and mechanical problems really detract from what could be an interesting story. I was interested enough to read to the current point, and maybe even to check out more of it later. However, without an editor there is much better content available.
I'm digging it. It reads like a japanese isekai. Not like a crappy isekai, but one of the more decent ones. The MC is OP, but has a built in defect. This makes the character much nicer to read about than your typical super powered, i can crush everything, protagonist seen in many other stories.
Only 15 chapters available at the time of writing this quick review. I will update once more chapters are available. Keep up the good work.
its a good start of a isakai story does not rush into OP skills with the mc killing everything left right and center
char developemt is on a steady pace with what seems to be developing a back bone
the party are interesting side char's and could do with a permenant place in the story
grammer things are fine
In the absence of better crafting stories, this one is quite eye-catching. It is not a pure crafting story, but it has the elements of one. The 'game' system is unique and interesting. The worldbuilding coherent and detailed enough. Characters are very well constructed and vibrant.
The best-selling point of this story, in my opinion, is a good pace. The system is forcing the protagonist to level up multiple classes in succession and the story is presenting it in good detail, using time-skips at good moments. There is no sense of stagnation, boredom or repetitive routine. Also, despite the problems the MC is encountering, they resolve in a very satisfying way, without any sense of stupidity, improbability or unfairness.
I like the protagonist. He is no-nonsense type and quite intelligent. It is good to see a somewhat cautious person, that still makes some mistakes along the road. Quite refreshing.
The crafting side of the story is a little lacking in complexity. Only recently the need arose for more detailed descriptions of crafting - for blacksmithing, so it is yet to be seen. The enchanting process is simplified, as is the description of internal structure of runes. This actually may be a good decision, especially if the author has little knowledge of how electronic circuits (to which the runes are compared) work.
My only woe is that the descriptions of the system are somewhat confusing. They are all over the place, sometimes vague, making it hard to form an easy-to-understand model when reading. I think it would be better to condense information included in multiple chapters and describe it without internal monologue interrupting.
From what I recall the writing and the story were a bit rough to begin but the quality has picked up over time. The protagonist is interesting, though if I was insistent on strict ratinality, not entirely plausible in his maturity as the body and brain of a child certainly affects behavior. However, I choose to suspect disbelief and the story is too enjoyable to notpick.
It would be just as ratinoal to point out the unscientific basis of a fantasy story.
I can sense the influences of this story with references to Fate Stay Night in the magic circuitry descriptions, and hints of some familiar web serials in the machanics of the system.
I'm strugling to recall particulars so I may come back and edit this mini-review later.
So far this is a generic isekai of mostly internal monologuing that needs a heavy edit pass. The future prepackaged harem has been introduced as of chapter 10 along with a token, inexplicably affectionate little sister in 6 or 7. I could be wrong about the harem but I doubt it.
I'll throw a follow on this but I predict it will evaporate into the realm of dropped works before hitting 20. If I'm wrong I keep reading, unless it gets too much more tedious; if I'm right, I'm a prophet.
I must say, beginning life in a magical universe as an adult in a five-year-old's body is a difficult challenge for most isekai. Many will only remember the main character was an adult when in need of some adult-like behavior or knowledge. The author seems to be mostly avoiding those pitfalls with a system and environment which allows ten-year-olds to act like full-grown adults. The system lockdowns preventing some of that sort of over-powered advantage are definitely interesting.
Grammar is an issue, and some editing polish here could really elevate the story. Better character interactions would go even further.
This is a promising story I am enjoying and will continue to read. The crafting instead of or in addition to combat is nice, and the interaction with the main character's previous skillset is particularly well done. If you can overlook some grammar and stiff character development, you can probably enjoy it also!
It's generic and honestly thats kinda the appeal. Everything so far feels familiar, just different characters, possibly abusable class/ level up system, and at 15 is where the title finally hits home but it was an organic info dunp to get there. Like 3 time skips since he starts off as a 5 year old when he gets Issekaid, a family that doesn't appear to really give a shit about him beyond the fact he carries the Arden name and decent enough anime dad considering all the rougher starting points he could have been dealt
The blurb sounded interesting, the few chapters I've read fulfilled those expectations and when I realized it's the same writer of Unfathomable Senior, I was instantly sold.
The missing half star will go up after I get a chance to experience more of the story.