What happens when a man gets transported into a foreign world filled with magic?
Will his knowledge in hardware technology help him out after he discovers its correlation to the words of power?
How will he fit in with the other noble houses as the lowly 4th son?
How will his story play out in a world where skills and stats equal power and status?
First time trying to write a LitRPG, so problems might arise x3
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Overall, I find Runesmith very compelling. It digs into crafting and magic and their actual mechanics in a depth that I've not seen before, and does this through a hero who is intelligent and driven rather than omnisciently capable. I also appreciate the (at least for me) unexpected connections drawn between
the main character's career as an computer specialist and the runic magic he uses in the story.
This take on magic really pulled me into the story and kept me reading it as the chapters went on.
Unfortunately, the storytelling is poorly done, with a disappointing lack of sentence variation and emotion. This detracts from immersion in the story and the characters as a whole and takes away some from the interesting mechanical background mentioned above--it's harder to appreciate the complexity and depth of information about magic when the style is so stilted.
The grammar is similarly lacking, inconsistent verb tense and dropped commas abound. Generally, the errors are not too glaring, but they do detract from the story.
The story, on the other hand, is engaging and enjoyable. The concepts are not unique but they are well used, and the hero is relatable and fairly believable. I've read through all the current chapters (up to 115 at time of writing) and I look forward to reading more.
I like the idea enough to be near halfway through it.
However the grammar and style structure is a grind.
The issue is both tenses, expanded sentences and a ton of tell not show per sentence. I don't mean long sentences either, but use of lots of trivial articles and in between words that are unnecessary. I adore well crafted, byzantine, labyrinthine, twisty, turny, branching and looping and exploratory great soaring diving wondering sentences of arcane and insane depth and complexity - just attempt to make every word count.
E.g. Roland continued, his grinding stone and sandpaper were used.
Maybe? He used then grindstone and sandpaper to complete his task.
Another: On the next day, he managed to get done with polishing and it was time to attach a wooden handle.
Maybe? Next day, after completing the polishing, he began work on the handle. He outlined the shape needed on two blocks of wood using the replica as a guide, carved these out and attached them to the sword with rivets.
OK, so my rushed phone typed edits are not so hot but my point is, every paragraph has this.
Why am I writing so much for this review?
I like the world building, I like the premise of the character and I laughed at the funny trope of the isakai truck scene.
Part of me feels this is the kind of story that with a serious, dedicated and thorough edit of just the sentence tense style and structure, could be a wonderful tale to put into a series on Amazon kindle etc.
Oh alright, I know this site is often just enthusiasts just throwing their stuff up because they love doing it and I love it and them for it.
I've had a great time reading royal road stories and one of my friends now has her own tale on here and patreon because of how I see it.
So, if my critique helps the author at all, then great.
Now everyone else can rightfully point out that not a scrap of my own writing exists on here at time of this review.
Aye and I know.
I don't trust myself to stick to a schedule and finish stuff!
Also, I can craft some sentences, even make up shit on the hoof but building a world and solid plot? Yeah... I'll try it sometime and you can judge.
I really like the world the author has created. Its differences to our own are are reflected in the plot and the attitudes of the characters, other than the main (presumably from our world). There is some interesting creativity in the reflection of scrolls and runes to circuitry and programming. I want to see how these ideas are used. Furthermore, the story is a fair balance between action and crafting, which is probably difficult to pull off.
Most of the characters have complexity, or if undeveloped, there are suggestions of development to come. A few are common tropes, but I don't think it detracts much, and serves more as a shorthand for the reader.
However, the writing could do with a great deal of editing and refinement. When in action or conversation it's generally fine, but exposition is poor. A certain person somehow does something in a certain place far too often. That's exaggerated, but it doesn't only happen from the perspective of a character, which would be more understandable. The phrasing also appears for the omniscient narrator (not personified). Sentences are not infrequently repetitive or oddly constructed, with no obvious grammar or spell check run.
These stylistic and mechanical problems really detract from what could be an interesting story. I was interested enough to read to the current point, and maybe even to check out more of it later. However, without an editor there is much better content available.
As I said it's a decent start but drops into mediocre for me. It's the same old isekai story with little to nothing unique about it. I’ll be giving this one a pass for now.
I'll also say that it needs a lot of editing. Beyond simple grammatical errors and misspelling that could be fixed by pasting the story in a google doc the author sometimes uses odd stilted sentences.
- "He and the girls were supposed to head into the lower floors of the dungeon this day, but from his standpoint that would have to wait till the next day." Chapter 12
- "He closed his eyes and rubbed the space between the eyebrows and his nose that was called the glabella." Chapter 13
It’s a no from me dawg.
Ignore chapter reviewed at, I'm actually at 102 on their patreon which I'm dropping after this month.
It is with a heavy heart I write this review. This story started off well but has since been getting worse and worse as time goes on. It has an interesting system of classes and level and a good origin story. Even had some good crafting segments. But as time has gone on the story and characters have gotten more and more ridiculous and unbelievable, and not in the good way. As of late each chapter is just drawing out the arc more and more for no good reason, with the characters making stupid unrealistic decisions, and the same points being reiterated over and over without adding anything new to the story. And with this the grammar has started to deteriorate as well. Overall its the type of drop in quality of content that is a sign of a books demise. Would not recommend reading it as it is now as you will be more and more disappointed the more you read it. Sad really, as like I said, it had a good start. It could have gone the distance but I have a feeling its gonna crash and burn soon enough.
Extra words to meet minimum word count.
It Started out Great but the further the story progresses the more the very same problem apears.
The Authors Tells us what happens, he doesnt show us.
There is also repeat use of the same detail.
When the MC chalanges himself in his craft its nice to read about.
But we really dont need to know ho he crafts every little thing in extrem detail.
We also dont need to know how some side characters toes look like.
More then half the words are needless fillers thanks to that.
Word of advice.
Either finish the story first and redo it or redo it first.
The story itself is fine but the way you wrote it is not.
Story is cool love the crafting and combat. But it's really annoying how the main characters thoughts are written. The edgy inner monologue of a teenager even though he's meant to have already lived one life and now on this second one. All other characters think he's kind and want to be his friend so standard nice teenager that doesn't realise everybody likes them as they are nice..... it's weird. I mean who's first reaction to a puppy is saying "I wonder if I can sell you"
Other weird things:
kills a goblin has nightmares, kill humans does not blink an eye
lives like a hermit
Cant stand other people, everybody likes him even though he has the personality of a potato
I'm digging it. It reads like a japanese isekai. Not like a crappy isekai, but one of the more decent ones. The MC is OP, but has a built in defect. This makes the character much nicer to read about than your typical super powered, i can crush everything, protagonist seen in many other stories.
Only 15 chapters available at the time of writing this quick review. I will update once more chapters are available. Keep up the good work.
In the absence of better crafting stories, this one is quite eye-catching. It is not a pure crafting story, but it has elements of one. The 'game' system is unique and interesting. The worldbuilding coherent and detailed enough. Characters are very well constructed and vibrant.
The best-selling point of this story, in my opinion, is a good pace. The system is forcing the protagonist to level up multiple classes in succession and the story is presenting it in good detail, using time-skips at good moments. There is no sense of stagnation, boredom or repetitive routine. Also, despite the problems the MC is encountering, they resolve in a very satisfying way, without any sense of stupidity, improbability or unfairness.
I like the protagonist. He is a no-nonsense type and quite intelligent. It is good to see a somewhat cautious person, that still makes some mistakes along the way. Quite refreshing.
The crafting side of the story is a little lacking in complexity. Only recently the need arose for more detailed descriptions of crafting - for blacksmithing, so it is yet to be seen. The enchanting process is simplified, as is the description of internal structure of runes. This actually may be a good decision, especially if the author has little knowledge of how electronic circuits (to which the runes are compared) work.
My only woe is that the descriptions of the system are somewhat confusing. They are all over the place, sometimes vague, making it hard to form an easy-to-understand model when reading. I think it would be better to condense information included in multiple chapters and describe it without internal monologue interrupting.
The blacksmithing is realistic.
The MC reincarnates from a boring life as some sort of technician, and decides to basically do the same thing again.
MC doesn't have a consistent mental age, sometimes acting like a boring 13 year old, sometimes like a boring 30 year old.
Chapters are fairly long, which is usually great, except when there are multiple chapters in which literally nothing of value happens, this is made worse by the fact that the writing is often sub-par.