Contract Summoner

by Glaicial Dawn

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Dungeon LitRPG Low Fantasy Magic
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Mathew was leaving his office, a successful court case closed and another defendant found not guilty. When he went to step into the hallway, instead he ended up in a grey void with a blue box hovering in front of him. Earth now converted by an entity known as 'The System' must now defend its self from portals that lead to other wordly areas known as 'Dungeons'. 

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Chapter release: Tuesday & Friday at 1200 EST

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  • Pages :
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Glaicial Dawn

Glaicial Dawn

He who has a name

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Deamonicbob
  • Overall Score

This story is a bit of a mixed bag.  It has some amazing parts.  Characters freak out and panic.  Seeing an MC have a nervous breakdown after a very traumatic event is great characterisation.  MC uses wealth and social standing to survive the apocalypse. 

But it also doesn't set up conflict very well or pay off that conflict 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

doombot
  • Overall Score

"When one dies I have to summon it again when it dies." "The trees over there were green, like trees." "The writer of this repeats words endlessly like the writer is repeating words."

SosadhScath
  • Overall Score

Fun premise in desperate need of an editor

Reviewed at: Chapter 5

I like the premise, but execution is very poor.  Extremely clunky and often poor grammar. characterization is shallow and sometimes cliche. grasp of english seems okay at best.
I like the idea a lot, but NEEDS an editor - both line-copy, style, probably developmental - before it will be enjoyable to read.   Dropped around 5.

Felight
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Dense character that needs an overhaul

Reviewed at: Chapter 18

I feel the MC is completely at odds with his persona and what he is supposed to be.

Though with a rewrite I feel this might be a good read. At the moment the inconsistancies just keep building on that I had to stop reading. 

Bastets Chosen
  • Overall Score

Don't think too hard about it

Reviewed at: Chapter 16

A fun read.

The setup is pretty standard: the system comes, people are adjusting to it, and the protagonist is adjusting to being an adverturer.

Nicely, the main character is neither overpowered nor hyper-competent.  The grammar is good and formatting excellent, making the story an easy read.

Just keep a health grip on your suspension of disbelief, treating the setting like a video game. 

Having to trade for anything beyond starter equipment on a military base? No indication of where the food is coming from? Don't worry about it.

The characters' actions don't always seem to make sense.  One person, upon learning that the MC was left for dead -- but having a system notice  that the guy is alive -- gets angry, but there's no indication that he tried to convince others to search for the MC.

 The author also seems to have some trouble conveying emotions.  Characters are said to have have rage, bitterness, or sadness.  They act that way, but it doesn't come across in a visceral way.  

Onyavar
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

[Author] is very low-level, but might improve.

Reviewed at: Chapter 21

Basically, the world ended and an RPG system took over the world. The whole premise is intriguing until the gamification takes more and more room in the whole story. All that is supposed to be taken as seriously, which is the biggest problem here:

I kept my suspenders of disbelief on quite long, but the whole setup in the army base seems pretty unrealistic. Several ridiculous developments undermine military command and society. The world ended, and somehow the military and government have not collapsed, yet they have surprisingly little control, and yet [Soldiers] of level 8 still follow the orders of a [Commander] level 2, and yet everyone is already back on the basics of crafting equipment manually. Hm, no, the author hasn't thought everything through. Much of it, especially the system/game setup, but less so on real world ramifications, when an alien system forces Earth to regress into a medieval/fantasy settin.

The writer has a decent grasp of English, but when the MC's profession is "divorse lawyer", I gulped. Yeah, that was not written by someone with an educated background. Just someone who realized that a lawyer would make a great basic build in an RPG game. And we can already see how HUGE the whole story and system is planned. This work is still in its first 2% or maybe 5%. So maybe those society transformation issues mentioned before are still just not fully hammered out.

More and more characters with equally between-decent-and-shoddy backgrounds get added as support cast... mostly to fill out party sheets. Worse, several characters change opinions and core beliefs, mostly for plot reasons, to add tension, or to swap people from the party. Or so it seems. It all seems pretty 2-dimensional.

Still, there is the attempt at having a diverse cast, even when it doesn't work out in my opinion. A smaller cast in survival mode would have been better.

Stylistically and with regards to spelling, it's not a great opus, but I give out points for trying, and because there were several passages that had me laugh, or had me in suspension. Also, this story is still in the beginning stage and I can't condemn it light-handed: There is a reason I kept reading until the most recent chapter. Yet I will drop this story here and not eagerly await further installments.

Ab A.
  • Overall Score

I like it. It is a slow burn but good.................

wyavern13
  • Overall Score

Review as of chapter 20

Reviewed at: Chapter 20

Quick and dirty, it's not bad.

My main 'gripe' is that it does not have much flow, nor does it show the scene. Characters are mostly 2 dimensional.  But not terribly. 

Grammar is fairly solid. Concept is a very nice one that I have not seen before. My other gripe with characters is . . They are a bit bland. Kinda. . . .milk toast. They don't really have very many defining qualities.  Aside from their classes. And even then. It is just basics. Aside from Leo and Matt.

 

Tl;dr, awesome concept, decent quality,  but it has a fair amount of room to improve. And I will stick with it hopeing to see this author grow and develop.

Michael Duffy
  • Overall Score

It's a good premise, that's pretty well executed.
Juding by the reviews, and my own experience, the rewrite of the early chapters that lead to some of the worse reviews were fixed and imporved, there wasn't anything noticably wrong or off about them.
The author has improved, and at the time of writing, the narrative ahead seems clear of traps of loopholes for the author to write themselves into.
In short, it's both good now and has a promising future.

Gobbo
  • Overall Score

Minor Spelling Errors

Reviewed at: Chapter 3

Writing this at chapter 3, so it’s a bit early. First impressions are decent, only real problem is the minor spelling errors. Again, these are minor, and nothing serious.