The Milostiv

by fawkslen

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Tragedy Anti-Hero Lead Low Fantasy Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters Mythos Strategy War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

This is the journey of a Young Doctor named Gabrio, in the Grand Fleet of the Reconnoiter Company, aboard the Grand-Galleon called The Milostiv which is set to sail to the lands that could not be traversed before the invention of the armaments that could penetrate the scale of the monsters living there. They hope sail to the thousand islands in hopes to find wonders and new lands to settle. The Grand Fleet would leave Old Carthan in hopes to find wonders. But then a sudden loom hanged above the Bay of Old Carthan as the Grand Fleet sails for the islands...

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 1,032
  • Average Views :
  • 52
  • Followers :
  • 9
  • Favorites :
  • 1
  • Ratings :
  • 3
  • Pages :
  • 150
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
fawkslen

fawkslen

Idle

Achievements
35 Comments
750,000 Views
400 Followers
Top List #2000
4th Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
th30dor
  • Overall Score

There is a decent story here. However, it is behind a wall of bad grammar. It is so bad that sometimes I had to reread entire paragraphs in order to understand what is going on.

Wrong tenses, quick and confusing pronoun and PoV changes, spelling errors. Sometimes the phrases don't make sense, and they sound like literal translations of a foreign language into English.

And it's unfortunate. Because there is a cool premise here. A grand expedition into a new world. Some echos of lost memories for our main character. Elves and a low fantasy setting. A Doctor main character. There's a lot of fresh ideas that spark the imagination.

With a thorough grammar review, and a solid edit, this could be something interesting. But as it is right now, its almost unreadable.