Original ONGOING Action Sci-fi GameLit Non-Human lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

They came. The ravagers of the universe. The scourge of star systems. The enemy of his race. 

They decimated all that he knew, slaughtering his colony like a herd of insects. Carrying their metal guns and tactical missiles, the Yumen marines butchered his siblings by the thousandfold. For that, they would pay. 

Krill is the last of his kind in a distant corner of the galaxy. Entrusted with the survival of his species, Krill carries with him an egg given to him by the Hive Mother herself. Her last, parting gift. What will it hatch into when it's born? A new hope for a rebirth of the Krath?

---

This is a draft first cut of my new novel - Lings by Atticus Andrews.

Target Length: ~ 300 pages
Pacing: Fast
Posting: Daily for 30-40 days
Note: I will post 40-50% of this novel and then take a hiatus to collect and incorporate feedback before finishing. 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 105,983
  • Average Views :
  • 2,078
  • Followers :
  • 742
  • Favorites :
  • 152
  • Ratings :
  • 163
  • Pages :
  • 245
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
KingMidas

KingMidas

Achievements
100,000 Views
35 Comments
500 Followers
Top List #300
1st Anniversary
Word Count (12)
Premium Member
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
JearlyBird
  • Overall Score

In most cases you only hear about the humans fighting the evil hive aliens but it's a nice idea to hear from their point of view.Ive only seen very few grammar errors so minor I almost missed them.

If your looking for an adventure from the stereotype " Space Bugs " point of view this story is for you.It shows primal urges that most would consider evil but this is about survival and about keeping the species alive no matter what.Ive heard mentions about an empire that once spanned the galaxy but Im not sure what happend  to it.I think it  probably broke apart after the Humoniad creatures starting rising up.Back on topic if your looking for an action pact primal adventure this is for you.

todd
  • Overall Score

A plague on the Yumans

Reviewed at: Chapter 37

This is a great example of a non-human lead. Monsters that previously terrorized humanity, now being effectively pushed back, they must struggle to survive the aggressive actions of the Yumans that have hunted them into the deep caverns of the planet. The gamelit elements have only just started to come online in the most recent chapters, but it's a satisfying progression. The world does not seem to be an actual gamelit world in itself, but rather has base growth neatly organized via a secondary character/item. As far as plot, the story follows a lone survivor carrying the last hopes of the Hive Queen, to the actions of the newly born queen attempting to create a base and grow her hive so that they can survive and hold onto the most important planet they possess. The main characters whose eyes we see through are well-fleshed out, if somewhat alien (naturally). That said, as they break new ground their individual personalities have begun to evolve, making them more relatable as time goes on.

The setting itself is descriptive and expansive, placed in a sci-fi future where FTL is the norm and humanity has been beating back the protagonists in order to mine underneath their hives for a rare material that's treasured for a number of purposes. It's this aspect that helps settle the disquiet of cheering on the monsters, since the blame for the conflict now falls squarely between the two. Additionally, humanity doesn't realize that the Krath are genuinely intelligent, which sets up a fairly grand pitfall for the antagonists to stumble into. Further, certain aspects of the world-building are left out of sight, giving a decent sense that the universe is expansive beyond what we've seen directly written.

All in all, there is a decent amount of text already written and I enjoy the direction that the story is going. The necessity of setting up a base and growing their capabilities hidden beneath the earth satisfies that craving for empire-building that is so rarely scratched, and I can't wait to see the black tide grow and spill outwards. It's a bit too early to tell how relevant the base-building aspects will be going forward, but for fans of monstrous protagonists, I'd definitely recommend this as it is.

Jbreezy
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I felt the need to leave an extended review here due to the fact that I was almost turned off of this story by the other needlessly negative review.  For that reason, I will try to cover everything, while also keeping it brief.

In terms of style, the story is interesting and engaging, and utilizes a couple different perspectives that play off of each other well and are each interesting in their own different ways.  Style is such a broad term that I don't know what else would be aplicable here, but overall, I think that the story is well written and paced well.

For grammar, I didn't notice any problems in this area, although I'm sure the overly grammar sensitive would.

I don't know what else to say on the story side of things that I didn't say in the style portion, but I will mention that the story, so far as I have read it, utilizes many old and well tested ideas, but also posses its own unique flavor and world building that I found interesting.

I supose the only real criticism posed by the other review here is the idea that characters in many ways play out as cliches, such as the scientist, the marines, and the bug aliens.  While this is true and perhaps could be done better to create more unique characters, I think that these 'classic' themes and characters can actually be quite interesting if they are taken in their own unique direction as they develop along with the story.  Although I have admittedly been reading Vaudevillain, which might have created a newfound love for cliche villains in my mind.

Felix Helixihare
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Not the most exciting story out there, but not the worst. Certainly a decent read if you give it a chance. It's not groundbreaking good, but give it a good read. Stories that are in one's ballpark can be hard to find.

The pacing is a bit slow. The characters are flat like soda, but I can say that the flavor is a cheap treat. The misfortune of the Krath suggest the appropriate emotion towards them is pity, but Krill thinks so highly of the race that it seems like we should be rooting for them rather than pitying. Spectra is certainly a breathe of fresh air, but at some measure, her childish naivety flattens her personality. Helmet's doesn't have much of a personality and that's okay. Helmet seems to be the parent figure of the MC group.

The Krath are your standard galaxy-spanning space bug empire. Their superiority is questionable considering the less than phenomenal decisions and opinions of a single member and steady retreat due to the human incursion. They're really nothing too special: just seems to be a Zerg copy.

The humans in the story are not good. They're awful prideful punks that seem to be stereotypical in these parts of sci-fi. The mad "you don't understand my science" scientist, the "I'm the only sane one here" general, and the expendable marines are part of the human faction. They don't have as much screentime and aren't depicted as very important to the plot so far, merely acting as a blockade for the progress of the MCs.