The Lost Legionary
- Traumatising content
The Stars Belong to Humanity
Locke Morholt, an android with no memory, is given a second chance at life in the form of a military career and a campaign against his own kind.
Nicole McManus, one of the Union's elite, must come to grips with her own mortality after a near-death experience propels her into a web of conspiracies against humankind.
Faustus Agrippa, an android scout, teams up with a newfound friend to seek out vengeance against a threat he narrowly escaped once before.
The Lost Legionary is a long-running space opera inspired by anime, metal music and my love of grimdark science fiction. Chapters will be updated every Tuesday and Friday at 2:00 PM EST. At the end of each book's part, there will be a mini-chapter from a character who hasn't had a perspective yet. One bonus chapter a month will come out on Saturdays at 2, so long as I've either hit a Patreon goal or I'm on trending.
Thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoy this. Any constructive criticism or feedback is greatly appreciated.
Book 1: The Lost Legionary (Parts I-IV) - ONGOING
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
Style - Clean and direct. I never felt confused about what was going on. No complaints here.
Story - Well crafted and thought out. I didn't feel anything felt extraneous. Everything on the page is there for a reason.
Grammar - If there are any typos, I didn't see them.
Character - I loved the earnestness of Locke. Not only is he a fish out of water, he finds
he's the enemy of his newfound friends.
This is a book that deserves your attention. Give it a read!
The beginning of the first chapter reminded me of Wall-E, but instead of Johnny 5, we have an Android. That doesn't last long, though. The story quickly turns into a full-fledged space opera, complete with interstellar war and political intrigue.
Character interactions are well done, with realistic dialogue and emotions. There's minimal backstory to the characters, but the author is weaving it in, avoiding info-dumping up to Part I's completion. They're in no way two-dimensional. You care about their story and what happens to them.
I'm not a grammar expert, but there are no problems that I can see. You can tell the author takes time to edit and remove the errors most people leave. It's the fine details that keep you engaged.
As for style, the prose is clear and precise. You get to the sentence's point efficiently, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth. Either the author is a natural, or they spend a lot of effort on this. The chapters are long, which is what you expect from a space opera, and it's not a bunch of filler to boost word count.
As for the story, it's exactly what a space opera should be. This is not a web novel with cutesy girls that reads like a novel; it is a novel, a well-written one.
Overall, if you enjoy Space Opera's, you should add this to your list. If you want realistic characters, you should add this to your list. And if you enjoy a real novel with structure and purpose, you should add this to your list.
I WILL START OFF by saying this story is written by a literary virtuoso, particularly, in the art of space opera and things not dissimilar to modern sci-fi. The story follows an android, Locke, who strives to find peace in a future divided by war. Joining the military, it seems, was the kickstarter for this aspiration, where he/it gets to fight against his own kind. That is clearly an advanced plot: the author has an intelligence of politics, war, and social division, much in the way as it was during the 1900s, and even sometime before that, where war was the language of hope and hatred.
(All information is based upon reading up to chapter 4)
With that being said, I will start with the style (4.5/5). The style follows beige prose, simple description, and little narration. This type of language and storytelling is common in web-novels, especially with the current niche of literature found across all writing sites. For me the writer, in the beginning, takes the "show, don't tell" advice too seriously in that there is absolutely zero telling. Coupled with the long-winded chapters of 4000 - 5000 words, things become difficult to follow, though, it does pick up, and then falls down again. And from my experience, this requires a very particular type of reader: ones that hate telling with their entire soul. This is why I also categorise it as a web-novel-style story. Published novels, especially the huge thrillers from the likes of George R. R. Martin or Stephen King and so forth, tell as much as they show, leaving room to explore the world and immerse themselves with the characters. If the author strives for publishing, I would suggest not being afraid to summarise scenes as they are and showing the characters in said scenes, how they interact, how they further the plot and so on. If web-writing is the aspiration, I suggest shortening the chapters at least by half; most chapters in literature can be sliced in two if you add a leading paragraph.
Grammar-wise there were the occasional typos, but I'm not going to mark the author down, mostly because there is so much done well that it overshadows the iddy-biddy things, which some readers pop a vessel over. Dialogue, in the early chapters anyway, is punctuated incorrectly, using periods for dialogue tags mostly. I can tell the author speed-wrote some paragraphs when the extra letters present themselves, but I've pointed them out and so have other readers, so it's not a big deal, considering the sheer size of the book as a whole. Syntax, I believe, pedants will complain about, even though it is organised in such a way that it reads naturally; this is because some readers like stuff to complain about and believe all books must have perfect syntax, which is not the case at all. Not even close. As long as there is a clear voice in the story, it is done well. Perfect syntax is as boring as it is timid.
As a side-note: I think this story should have a professional editor, not some random you find on the internet. This is because the author clearly showcases ornate skill not often found online, and getting an inexperienced editor will destroy the story with naivety and ignorance. It may cost some money, but in the long run, I can see it being worthwhile. It is essential if this story wants to go from the realm of Royal Road to the shelves, as with any other novel. So, I hope the writer finds the correct editor(s).
Characters I had no complaints about; Locke is clearly an interesting character to run with, almost like the androids in Detroit: Become Human. I cannot say much about the rest because I've only read the first 11,000 words or so, but they sure seem well-thought-out. I can't help but imagine them as a cast in a movie, with well-known actors playing their parts.
Cinematic as it is, the story is not for me. I love sci-fi, space opera etc.. But the showing in the early chapters, the long chapters; it's all a bit much for me to proceed with, even if it does get better down the line, which I firmly believe it does, not because the author told me, but because books always become easier to write when the foundation is set. The lore is established, the characters are developed, and the plot heats up; that's what matters in the long run, but people like me struggle to read long chapters on web-novels. Motivation is one reason, and zoning out is another. I still could not tell you what happened in chapter two, but I know a lot of people could.
The story I have no right to comment on because I haven't read enough to produce an accurate judgement. That is up for you guys to decide; I'm just a fallen soldier, let's hope you continue the journey! From what I've read, it takes its time developing, which is a clear indication of skill (I love the slow-burn); in a way, it's not much different from my story in regards to pacing, just with longer installations. And that's how big novels should go, in my opinion! You can start with the action, sure, but it better be darn good! The event is what this author chose to begin with, and that's how literary novels do it, so there's the mix of web-writing and paperback-writing. In any case, I hope the writer finds what's right for him/her, and stays true to it throughout the story, even if it means cutting some material.
Overall, this is a space opera that will more than likely immerse you or bore, depending on your preferences, of course. You will be drawn into a futuristic world of complex politics and war, dreams and cutting-edge technology. Put on a pair of 3D glasses and watch it unfold before your very eyes!
I'm blown away. Typically, I'm not a huge fan of anime-style stories or stories that are heavily influenced by anime, but I am pleasantly surprised by what this author has accomplished and conveyed.
Very clear and concise, but intoxicating to read. The author knows how to put pen to paper, and it's one of the few times I can say this and genuinely mean it. They are a wizard with words, I found myself bouncing from one word to the next with ease :)
Story, Some more Style, and Character
The story is a traditional space opera with Anime and Metal themes, which is PHENOMENALLY done. This also ties into Style, which is why I made the style paragraph so short.
The story goes into how an android ends up on mars, and the obstacles that are thrown their way. The way this android reacts to things is realistic for an android, especially when we look at the human counterpart who also plays a huge role in the story. They interact each other like oil and water at times, but it makes sense. It's witty, it's lively, and I can tell the author puts a lot of love into the dialogue between characters. It never felt flat, and helped build the story!
I'm not the pickiest with grammar unless I have my editing goggles on, but I found no errors. The story was well crafted, and each line was articulate. Concise. Interesting. I found the literary devices used were effective, and I didn't really find any typos--overall, it feels well polished and well done!
Of the RR stories I’ve read and rated (or thought about rating), I think I can safely say that The Lost Legionary basically provides the gold standard
The Lost Legionary follows Locke, an amnesiac android from Mars who only knows about the outside world through books. Even his name is something he chose himself. Once he joins the army, it becomes even worse, as he must hide who he is from a society that rejects androids. While most readers very likely cannot personally identify with Locke, we can still sympathize with him. Being isolated and without identity are problems everyone can understand.
Moreover, the amnesia is a useful device for making exposition easier: Locke doesn’t know about the outside world, so as he learns, we do, too.
Plotting is another strong point of the story. The first chapter introduces us to Locke and the setting in a very straight-forward manner and then introduces the inciting incident: An offer for Locke to join the military. Once he jumps the call, the next chapter tests his resolve to join the military through the drill sergeant. From then on, it keeps our interest by introducing various mysteries and problems.
A thing I especially liked was the way the story uses multiple viewpoints in order to show a complex conflict from all angles.
Great job, keep it up!
Let me start by saying that I was hooked on this novel by the first chapter.
The author does a great job at introducing us to the main character (or one of) and making us care for him almost immediately. Locke is a part of three protagonists, but he's easily the best for me. I really enjoyed reading his thoughts and getting to know more about him. Even his supporting cast is great.
The strongest part for me, though, is the dialogue. The author himself admits that it's his most confident skill, and I could tell. The conversations between characters are interesting, real, and funny. The chapters are lengthy (not a bad thing) but they seem to fly by when reading the characters converse with one other.
I haven't read enough to get a clear grasp of the story, but the world seems to be carefully planned. I can tell the author has a vision in mind. So, I'm going to keep reading to see it.
I recommend you do too.
The world that you have set up has enthralled me by how organic and well crafted it is. The wide amount of characters and seeing Locke's opinion of them made for a very interesting read. As a fantasy fan i wasn't expecting a space opera to really get me off my feet and glue me to my phone. I didn't have any problems that i could think of, off the top of my head so keep up the good work👍👍👌👌
The Lost Legionary evokes a classic feel and reminds me of other intriguing space operas in the vein of Babylon 5 and LOGH. The characters are likeable and fun to spend time with, which in my opinion, is the first ingredient in keeping a space opera interesting. Characters first, plot second. That being said, the plot is also well executed, with aspects of the mystery thrown out like breadcrumbs to beckon you forward.
As other reviewers have said, it has a beginning reminiscent of Wall-E, with a single android left to clean up a whole planet. Where Wall-E has his collection of interesting objects, Locke has a collection of books, and all the reading he’s done helps him to survive in an unfamiliar situation, while posing as a human. So far, he’s my favorite and was a good choice for starting the story.
Nicole is the second of the main characters. She’s an accomplished legionary, smart, and capable, without approaching perfection. Overall, a well-rounded character. Faust is my second favorite. He’s another android, fighting on the right side – I mean fighting for Axis. He has a potential love interest in Marcie, which I think is a nice touch.
The pace of the story moves well, with a beginning that isn’t rushed. A few of the stories on RR tend to jump right into the main plot, and I understand the main audience of this site appreciates that. I do not. I like for a writer to take it slow and let me get to know the characters first. That was well done here. Also, throughout the story, the action is appropriately followed by character driven rest periods, which allows tension to ebb and flow.
The style is clear and concise, with showing and telling woven together. There are few, if any, ‘summary’ type paragraphs at the starts of chapters, which makes sense, as the skipped scenes (probably a whole bunch of training and daily living) are not important enough to summarize.
Now, this feature may be problematic for readers who are keeping up with the web serial, but I got here late. So, it reads like a novel to me. I don’t forget what happened in previous chapters. At some point, I’ll catch up to the newest chapter, but the releases are close together. I don’t think I’ll forget events between them.
If the releases ever space out, it might make sense to do an author’s note at the beginning of each chapter. Perhaps, in the style of a television recap. Something like…Last time on The Lost Legionary. But, I would not suggest a change in the main story itself.
As for the grammar, there are a few rare typos, but they don’t interfere with the flow of reading.
Overall, it’s clear that ztaylor is well studied in the art of space opera.
Trapped in a place where everyone hates your kind and wouldn't hesitate to kill you if they know who you are, I wonder how Locke must feel...
Style: Clear, descriptive prose with little to no redundancy. The long chapters do tend to drag at times(especially the case with the first chapter), but not so much as to hinder my reading experience...
Grammar: Nothing to add...
Story: Intrigue, conspiracy, war, it's all there. And there's also swordfights in space. What more could I possibly ask for? Jokes aside, though the story starts somewhat slower than I would've preferred, it was enjoyable enough to keep me going, eager to find out what happened next...
Characters: Well crafted characters with a lot of depth. None of them feels unrealistic or over the top, they are believable, relatable and with interesting sides of their own. The characters are still in the process of finding out more about both the world and themselves, and as a reader kinda more biased towards character-driven stories, I like how they are developing...
The Lost Legionary manages to strike the perfect balance between character and plot without sacrificing any of the other. As for entertainment, well, this space opera that has been, to me, at least, worth a read...
(Disclaimer: All that I've written are only my opinion)
Style - Military sci-fi with realistic and reasonable actions. Everything is direct, the commands feel reasonable
Story - Well thought out, the progression of the story feels organic, none of the actions up to where I read so far were erratic or non-logical
Grammar - The story contains proper prose, very little grammatical errors
Character - Characters are interesting, I would like if a little more time was spent going over their background, or delving more into their feeling. Overall still pretty good though.
Overall - My consensus of this story is that it fits a certain niche of readers who enjoy sci-fi militaries, if that is not what you like reading then skip this. But for what it is, it is done very well. If you enjoy space military books then I would definitely recommend reading this story. I for one will continue to read this story because I found my time reading it enjoyable. I'm am looking forward to seeing where this story is taken.
I hope more detail is put towards learning about the enemies in the future, but so far I haven't gotten too deep into the story so I don't expect to have a ton of info on that yet.