High-Class Mob

by Seyer_Jad

Original ONGOING Action Comedy Fantasy Romance High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Mythos Reincarnation Ruling Class Slice of Life War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

As Leo opened his eyes, he found himself in the body that is not his. 

Colt Edgeworth is a man with little to no information in the story Sword of Heaven. 

The character Colt Edgeworth died in the hands of his fiancé after experiencing some stabby-stabby action. And that is who Leo had become. 

‘I am in a world that has magic, different technology, customs, races, and Gods actually do shit, and I have a woman who loves me but also wants to turn me into swiss cheese...’

He looked at the mirror, contemplated his fate, and came to a single conclusion...

‘So be it, I’ll try living.’

Note: This is my first time writing and English is not my first language, so there are mistakes, I only managed to Re-edit [Volume-1 Chapter 1 - 20], please tell me about the mistakes.

The cover is not mine, I just saw it and thought it was awesome...all rights reserve to the original creator Kolsga

https://www.deviantart.com/kolsga/art/Drake-571265818

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Seyer_Jad

Seyer_Jad

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
1. Did Truck-sama send me? ago
2. Love is in the air ago
3. What has the world come to? ago
4. Hands in the Shadows ago
5. Loving a Yandere doesn’t sound that bad. ago
6. Man of Culture ago
7. Pedophile ago
8. Reason of the original’s death (part 1) ago
9. The reason of the original’s death (part 2) ago
10. The reason of the original’s death (part 3) ago
11. The reason of the original’s death (part 4) ago
12. You deserve the truth ago
13. Youthful Desires: Claiming each other ago
14. The Alliance makes their move ago
15. To fight with numbed legs is bullshit ago
16. The daughter and the past of Colt Edgeworth (part 1) ago
17. The daughter and the past of Colt Edgeworth (part 2) ago
18. One-meter ago
19. The storm ends and spreading one’s wings ago
20. A whole new world ago
21. Wishing for plot armor is not viable [Vol. 2] ago
22. I just want to take a bath ago
23. Like I said, I wanted to take a bath ago
24. No secrets ago
25. Not for me! ago
26. What? ago
27. Nyaaaa! ago
28. The cat and the human ago
29. Birth of a Legend ago
30. Not all popularity is good ago
31. It’s in the blood ago
32. Move, bitch ago
33. Duel ago
34. BitDar ago
35. Juked ago
36. This is the real world ago
37. Name ago
38. Fair Enough ago
39. The Dragon Slayer ago
40. Proposition ago
41. One more reason why he stopped ago
42. A Man Worthy of Respect ago
43. Rats ago
44. Alley ago
45. Tired ago
46. Fluff Reaper ago
47. Caught in a Trap ago
48. As you said ago
49. Value ago
50. Colt Edgeworth ago
51. Meeting ago
52. Two Choices ago
53 One Answer ago
54. Who? ago
55. Resonating Values ago
56. Invitation ago
57. Negotiation ago
58. Generals ago
59. The Kid, The Cat, and the The Food ago
60. To the Thunder Tiger Mountain ago
61. The Entrance to the peak ago
62. Black Smoke ago
63. Going down the Mountain ago
64. Anger ago
65. To fight with numbed Legs ago
66. Unsheathing the Sword ago
67. 20 seconds exchange ago
68. Drugs ago
69. The Girls ago
70. The cheating Goddesses ago
71. Just another day ago
72. Change ago
73. Dammit [Vol. 3 Child of Light] ago
74. Let it go ago
75. Return ago
76. A Guilty Heart (part 1) ago
77. A Guilty Heart (part 2) ago
78. Questions ago
79. Smile ago
80. Watched over by the Divine ago
81. Troublesome ago
82. Peaceful Days ago
83. Father-in-Law ago
84. Preparation ago
85. Finally, He Faces the Future ago
86. Ragdoll (Part 1) ago
87. Ragdoll (Part 2) ago
88. Ragdoll (Part 3) ago
89. Fuck ago
90. Bleeding (Part 1) ago
91. Bleeding (Part 2) ago
92. Bleeding (Part 3) ago
93. Bleeding (Part 4) ago
94. Bleeding (Part 5) ago
95. Bleeding (Part 6) ago
96. What luck indeed ago
97. Pah! ago
98. Seriously, What? ago
99. Meow! Meow! Motherfucker! ago
100. Untold ago
101. Don’t think much about it ago
102. Mother (Part 1) ago
103. Mother (Part 2) ago
104. Unexpected ago
105. Sadistic ago
106. Where are they!? ago
107. Knowledge for a Favor ago
108. A Mother (Part 3) ago
109. A Mother (Part 4) ago
110. Disgusting ago
111. The Sovereign ago
112. End of the Day ago
113. The Wife, the Goddesses, and the Celestial War ago
114. A peaceful day ago
115. Butler ago
116 Questions after Assumptions ago
117. Colt Faction ago
118. How is that possible!? ago
119. Nun ago
120. Knight ago
121. Cry for Help ago
122. Guilt ago
123. The Cure ago
124. Not Enough ago
125. Flee and Defeat ago
126. None can resist this Lord ago
127. Noooooo! ago
128. Lucille Yola ago
129. The Great Trade ago
130. Schemer Colt ago
131. Shattered ago
132. I need wine ago
133. Destroying dreams ago
134. Medals ago
135. I don't want to die ago
136. The sudden turnabout ago
137. Let me rest ago
138. I want a happy Ending ago
139. No Context ago
140. Where's the Sword ago
141. Not Tessaiga ago
142. Purifying Moon (Part 1) ago
143. Purifying Moon (Part 2) ago
144. When? ago
Chapter 145. Loophole ago
146. Fuck my life ago
147. Lea ago
148. Friendship ago
149. Oh, No ago
150. We have a problem ago
151. Beasts ago
152. Hunting ago
153. Arrival ago
154. Sovereignty (Part 1) ago
155. Sovereign (Part 2) ago
156. All life weighs the same ago
157. Every Follower is Creepy ago
158. Betrayed ago
159. Colt's Hypocrisy ago
160. Hylda's Birthday [Volume 4. Hero] ago
161. Fate Baptism ago
162. Peaceful days ago
163. Marriage ago
164. Liron Vera ago
165. Old Friends ago
166. Friends ago
167. The Goddess' Gift ago
168. Reconciling with the Past ago
169. Oh ago
170. Reunion with a Delegate? ago
171. Cyra Reis ago
172. Arrival ago
173. Better Present ago
174. A Love Story ago
175. Ayl ago
176. WAR ago
177. Family Meeting (Part 1) ago
178. Family Meeting (Part 2) ago

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Reviews
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Nomad1791
Overall

Not a lot here yet but it's well written and has one thing that so easily over looked. The mc isn't a idiot, he dosent constantly fall into self pity, he is dare I say it. Likeable. Yup can't wait to see what happens good luck author hope they masses treat you well. 

Newbage
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Bad English skills combined with a mediocre story makes it worse than mediocre.

Reviewed at: 57. Negotiation

The author is bad at English. There are no two ways about it. And it hurts his ability to communicate his ideas. The ideas, and the story itself are nothing special. Not trash, but pretty bog standard as far as "reincarnated as a light novel character" stories go. Nothing exceptional. It's run of the mill - - mediocre. 

What makes this story stand out in a bad way, though, is the author's poor grasp of the English language. For example, check out this gem from early in the 2nd chapter:

"With the young master of a noble family being held down by the butler, the butler would have had his head fly out."

What he meant to say was that "Normally, if a butler were to lay hands on the young master of a noble family like this, he'd be beheaded."

Or how about this one from chapter 4: “You have been trying to get away from all this right? Does my presence unwanted, Young Master Colt?” 

This type of language (mis)use is typical throughout his story. Practically every paragraph has at least one sentence with messed up grammar, misused words, awkward phrasing, inconsistent verb tense, or all of the above. I'd estimate that there is about a 70 to 80 percent chance or more of something being not quite right about any given sentence, and it really detracts from the reading experience. 

Reading this fiction is like someone from 2020 trying to watch a movie from the 1930s that was merely average, even when it was new. A film that is low resolution, and has shit costumes, garbage special effects, lame props, poor cinematography, and amateur pacing.

It makes your eyes bleed, but unlike the classics of the era, it doesn't have a good enough story, characters, or artistic merit to justify enduring the low production values (which in the case of a novel only really involves the quality of the prose and its ability to paint an imaginary picture in the reader's mind). For anyone with a half decent grasp of the English language that's what it's like to read this book.

I've seen some reviews say that the author needs to get an editor. I'd have to disagree. The problem is way more fundamental than that. The author's mastery of written English is so poor that an editor would basically have to rewrite this entire story for him.

What the author needs is a couple intensive remedial English language courses. Alternatively, he could hire a competent English tutor and work with the person intensively for several months to increase his language skills.

Ordinarily, a person gets better at writing the more they read, but that's only if they read things of a high enough grade level. Reading poorly translated Asian light novels isn't going to cut it, and might even degrade a person's written language skills if they were originally at a high level. He needs to be reading books of at least high school level regularly to get to where he needs to be. For someone at his extremely low level, it'll probably take years.

Dear author, look up recommended reading lists for respective grade levels. Start low (maybe at grade 4 to 6) and work your way up with the goal being to read a single grade 12 book a week without skipping or "skimming" any parts of it, and do that constantly from then on.

Read enough books of a high enough grade and you'll naturally get better at writing without having to take courses. But it'll take a while to passively increase your language skills like this. That's why schools have actual language classes instead of just giving students a list of books to read each week. Here's an example of such a list. 

 https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.riveroakscharter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Recommended-Literature-Books-by-Grade-Level.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwifsZG9hIHrAhW1MX0KHavsDoQQFjANegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw06id8kyFbDDdzm_Jj5sDnY

Medium Dave
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Absolutely atrocious grammar. Genuinely gave me a headache from just that. I don't know how good the story is more because it's hard to think about what is meant in the jumble than anything else. I'm guessing however, that it's not terribly good. 
    In all honesty I'm semi compelled to just rewrite the whole thing on my own time and send it to the author. I've stopped myself and stopped reading as there is no sign of any improvement as I've read. I have seen my fair share of horribly translated works but, while this doesn't take the cake, it certainly comes close.

    I would not recommend this to anyone. I can see some people enjoying this, and I mean no harm to the author, but if I want this score to have a semblance of honesty I must give if the lowest score for grammar.

Frosty Nips
Overall

The story itself is basically one giant Cliché. The author points it out to make a joke out of it in the chapters, but this quickly becomes stale and ironic. The yandere thing is an intresting spin but the romance is shallow on both sides. Constant changes in the perspectives throught the chapters make it confusing sometimes. The Cliché this goes for, the renicarnated into a story I read/played is always good for a solid "ok" read. Overall its just a good time waster. Nothing more. 

 

Grammar kinda sucks too.

Techman
Overall

Fun story with surprising heart

Reviewed at: 50. Colt Edgeworth

Yet another "reincarnated as a character in a story/game" story, but the best I've read of the category. The author avoids all the usual pitfalls that these types of stories run into. The MC was just a bit character, so he has more freedom to do what he wants. His "knows everything that will happen" cheat is limited by the fact that he doesn't remember everything and the realization that the more he changes the less he can predict.

What I love most is the depth of all the characters. The MC says he's just gonna live easy, but reveals himself to be a good person who genuinely cares about the people around him. He uses his cheat to help others instead of himself. The supporting characters are much more than cardboard cutouts. Several times characters that he remembers as stereotypes are revealed to have much greater depth and motivations as he gets to know them. 

Great story that I really enjoy and recommend.

Willingly_Ignant
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I like a blend of trash, murder, and serious stories and this is more toawards the Light Novel trash. That being said, I like trash and this is some good trash. His grammar and turn of phrasing has some things to be desired but its a good read, so far the MC isn't an idiotic ass hat, overly zealous cur, or stick figure set there for wish fulfillment. Unless your in the business of appreciating that yandere love, which case this might be some wish fulfillment but I digress. 

TLDR: boy gets Issekai Ayed into a novel he dropped because it got boring. Now... WITNESS THE TRASH MOB KNOWN AS THE PLOT DEVICE (or simply side character) AVOID BEING SMOTHERED TO DEATH BY THAT YANDERE LUVIN, AND DO AS ANY A MAN SET UPON THE PATH OF DEATH BY YANDERE WOULD DO IN A MAGICAL WORLD WITH SWORDS AN MAGIC!!! Plot armour possibly included but thats why his yandere and *SPOILER* are there, because if he does die either one of them could potentially take over the story fairly easy.

Khalaenas
Overall

It seems quite good, with the only real glaring problems I found being a few words used in weird way, but that can be chalked up to inexperience of the author, and perfectionism on my side.

 

The story seems nifty and cool, though I won't go to heavily into reviewing it yet comsidering how few chapters there are currently.

 

Grammar seems kinda good. The most I notice are small misspellings and a few missing words, but it never seems completely unintelligible.

 

All in all, I like it, and hope it continues going and doesn't get dropped. 

Abyss 404
Overall

a seriously good story, although still young, it has a lot of potential.

and deserves a lot of attention *wink wink* *Nudge Nudge*

Melvin Wong
Overall

If you told me this story was written by an AI, I'd have no trouble believing you. To call it atrocious would be an understatement. 

Whatever good impression readers might get from the concept is immediately ruined by the grammar, prose, dialogue, and odd use of terms. 

To read this is absolute mental torture. So if you're a masochist, this is for you.

Syafiq Rosnan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

If you have a lot of time try it.

Reviewed at: 53 One Answer

Overall the story have potential, long story short if you're looking for a comedic fict this would be worthwhile. Though it has a few flaws.

 

Grammar.

The grammar of the story does improve and degrade later on but the earlier chapters are absolutly jarring to read. Weird sentence structure, odd dialogue, the overbundance use of commas, to name a few.

Some does reoccur from time to time, but most of it would be a minority (in the later chapter).

Scratch that, it actually became more stiffer later on. The dialogues,especially when it tries to be serious.

 

 

Plot.

The plot of the story is interesting, but has been done before. Cliches, and same plot line is seen through out the entire story from other mainstream media.

The one vice I have for the plot is the setting. With the way it is describe, I would imagine it to be in somewhat resembling medieval fantasy Europe.

But the phrases use and names of "techniques" are much more align with xinxia style setting. While combining both aspect is commendable but the execution is lacking.

This would caused the immersion to break. It is odd and bewildering for the setting to be portrayed as such.

The problem lies in the fact that the combination is not smooth rather it is slap together haphazardly.

The story also suffer from its inability to have a serious atmosphere. The author is quite capable in writing a comedic scene, but it fell flat where a serious situation is concern.

 

Character.

The character are improving. They do seem to be developing. Though this only apply to the maincasts.

The story currently suffer from a lack of a proper antagonist. The conflict and tension that arose are done so by having disposable character failing miserably to highlight the competency of the MC (ironic really).

It would improve greatly for the plot and character development if the conflict and tension are done more maturely.

 

Overall an entertaining read, 4 stars is quite generous. If the author improve upon his/her writing then it would be well deserve.

Edit:-

The writing did not improve, no choice other than reducing the score.