High-Class Mob

by Seyer_Jad

Original ONGOING Action Comedy Fantasy Romance High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Mythos Reincarnation Ruling Class Slice of Life War and Military
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Sexual Content

As Leo opened his eyes, he found himself in the body that is not his. 

Colt Edgeworth is a man with little to no information in the story Sword of Heaven. 

The character Colt Edgeworth died in the hands of his fiancé after experiencing some stabby-stabby action. And that is who Leo had become. 

‘I am in a world that has magic, different technology, customs, races, and Gods actually do shit, and I have a woman who loves me but also wants to turn me into swiss cheese...’

He looked at the mirror, contemplated his fate, and came to a single conclusion...

‘So be it, I’ll try living.’

The cover is not mine, I just saw it and thought it was awesome...all rights reserve to the original creator

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Seyer_Jad

Seyer_Jad

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
1. Did Truck-sama send me? ago
2. Love is in the air ago
3. What has the world come to? ago
4. Hands in the Shadows ago
5. Loving a Yandere doesn’t sound that bad. ago
6. Man of Culture ago
7. Pedophile ago
8. Reason of the original’s death (part 1) ago
9. The reason of the original’s death (part 2) ago
10. The reason of the original’s death (part 3) ago
11. The reason of the original’s death (part 4) ago
12. You deserve the truth ago
13. Youthful Desires: Claiming each other ago
14. The Alliance makes their move ago
15. To fight with numbed legs is bullshit ago
16. The daughter and the past of Colt Edgeworth (part 1) ago
17. The daughter and the past of Colt Edgeworth (part 2) ago
18. One-meter ago
19. The storm ends and spreading one’s wings ago
20. A whole new world ago
21. Wishing for plot armor is not viable [Vol. 2] ago
22. I just want to take a bath ago
23. Like I said, I wanted to take a bath ago
24. No secrets ago
25. Not for me! ago
26. What? ago
27. Nyaaaa! ago
28. The cat and the human ago
29. Birth of a Legend ago
30. Not all popularity is good ago
31. It’s in the blood ago
32. Move, bitch ago
33. Duel ago
34. BitDar ago
35. Juked ago
36. This is the real world ago
37. Name ago
38. Fair Enough ago
39. The Dragon Slayer ago
40. Proposition ago
41. One more reason why he stopped ago
42. A Man Worthy of Respect ago
43. Rats ago
44. Alley ago
45. Tired ago
46. Fluff Reaper ago
47. Caught in a Trap ago
48. As you said ago
49. Value ago
50. Colt Edgeworth ago
51. Meeting ago
52. Two Choices ago
53 One Answer ago
54. Who? ago
55. Resonating Values ago
56. Invitation ago
57. Negotiation ago
58. Generals ago
59. The Kid, The Cat, and the The Food ago
60. To the Thunder Tiger Mountain ago
61. The Entrance to the peak ago
62. Black Smoke ago
63. Going down the Mountain ago
64. Anger ago
65. To fight with numbed Legs ago

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MadKiwi
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I have been reading this and something has felt off the entire time. Other than the fact that grammar causes the story to have absolutely no flow and the random tense and PoV changes that is. It's the fact that I feel like the author doesn't follow the rule of show don't tell.

Maybe they will put something in there that is supposed to show what they want to tell, but they don't put anything behind it. It'll be a few lines for some really big change.

Also everything that happens doesn't have any foreshadowing. And pertinent information is given at the time it is pertinent which makes it feel like it was just something that was added to get the word count up and it isn't really important.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

I wanted to like this story. I feel it had a lot of potential. I haven't decided if I will keep reading yet, but it isn't looking likely. It lacks flow, it has no buildup, and sometimes the MC feels more like a sock puppet to advance the plot and make jokes for the author instead of a character. This is my first review, and I could be focusing on the negatives. I think anyone who reads this should still give the book a try.

Dnoj
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"Trash of the Count's Family" - Yandere Waifu Edition.

Reviewed at: 8. Reason of the original’s death (part 1)

This story borrows a lot from the korean wn "Trash of the Count's Family." Just change the Hero who beats MC up in the original story, to Yandere who kills the MC in the original story.

It's an okay story, far from perfect.

My biggest gripe is the author's numerous grammar mistakes. He/she should hire a proof reader, or just proofread the whole thing themselves. Because there are grammatical errors in EVERY chapter.

(surprisingly, though, no spelling mistakes)

It's still perfectly readable, though, but it gets very annoying.

Try it out if you like Reincarnated into Story/Game type of fictions.

Umbral
  • Overall Score

Failed to impress, but give the first few chapters a try as it may be for you?

Reviewed at: 4. Hands in the Shadows

I don't think this story will be everyones cup of tea. To start with there is nothing majorly wrong with the story, but equally there are no stand out praise worthy qualities.

The story starts out with a character reincarnated as a 'Trash mob' character from a visual novel that meets apitiful end. The closest thing I could compare it to is The World of Otome Games is Tough for Mobs.

However unlike that story where the main character is pro-active to better the situation he finds himself in, this charcter does not really do anything and feels like he lacks any agency. 

In addition the way the story is written feels off to read, but its hard to pinpoint the exact issue. it might be due to sentence structure and grammar?

All in all this story failed to grip me within a few chapters, if you give it a longer read it may improve but I can only go from my experience so far.

Newbage
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Bad English skills combined with a mediocre story makes it worse than mediocre.

Reviewed at: 57. Negotiation

The author is bad at English. There are no two ways about it. And it hurts his ability to communicate his ideas. The ideas, and the story itself are nothing special. Not trash, but pretty bog standard as far as "reincarnated as a light novel character" stories go. Nothing exceptional. It's run of the mill - - mediocre. 

What makes this story stand out in a bad way, though, is the author's poor grasp of the English language. For example, check out this gem from early in the 2nd chapter:

"With the young master of a noble family being held down by the butler, the butler would have had his head fly out."

What he meant to say was that "Normally, if a butler were to lay hands on the young master of a noble family like this, he'd be beheaded."

Or how about this one from chapter 4: “You have been trying to get away from all this right? Does my presence unwanted, Young Master Colt?” 

This type of language (mis)use is typical throughout his story. Practically every paragraph has at least one sentence with messed up grammar, misused words, awkward phrasing, inconsistent verb tense, or all of the above. I'd estimate that there is about a 70 to 80 percent chance or more of something being not quite right about any given sentence, and it really detracts from the reading experience. 

Reading this fiction is like someone from 2020 trying to watch a movie from the 1930s that was merely average, even when it was new. A film that is low resolution, and has shit costumes, garbage special effects, lame props, poor cinematography, and amateur pacing.

It makes your eyes bleed, but unlike the classics of the era, it doesn't have a good enough story, characters, or artistic merit to justify enduring the low production values (which in the case of a novel only really involves the quality of the prose and its ability to paint an imaginary picture in the reader's mind). For anyone with a half decent grasp of the English language that's what it's like to read this book.

I've seen some reviews say that the author needs to get an editor. I'd have to disagree. The problem is way more fundamental than that. The author's mastery of written English is so poor that an editor would basically have to rewrite this entire story for him.

What the author needs is a couple intensive remedial English language courses. Alternatively, he could hire a competent English tutor and work with the person intensively for several months to increase his language skills.

Ordinarily, a person gets better at writing the more they read, but that's only if they read things of a high enough grade level. Reading poorly translated Asian light novels isn't going to cut it, and might even degrade a person's written language skills if they were originally at a high level. He needs to be reading books of at least high school level regularly to get to where he needs to be. For someone at his extremely low level, it'll probably take years.

Dear author, look up recommended reading lists for respective grade levels. Start low (maybe at grade 4 to 6) and work your way up with the goal being to read a single grade 12 book a week without skipping or "skimming" any parts of it, and do that constantly from then on.

Read enough books of a high enough grade and you'll naturally get better at writing without having to take courses. But it'll take a while to passively increase your language skills like this. That's why schools have actual language classes instead of just giving students a list of books to read each week. Here's an example of such a list. 

 https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.riveroakscharter.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Recommended-Literature-Books-by-Grade-Level.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwifsZG9hIHrAhW1MX0KHavsDoQQFjANegQIBxAB&usg=AOvVaw06id8kyFbDDdzm_Jj5sDnY

Carson6319
  • Overall Score

It looks like a semi entertaining story about being reincarnated as a random nobile in a book who is going to be killed. 

I could only get to chapter 15 before I had to stop. The grammar just ruins it for me. The author clearly is not a native english speaker and it shows in every paragraph of every chapter. 

I suggest the author source some help with this as grammer is a nightmare to learn. 

Frosty Nips
  • Overall Score

The story itself is basically one giant Cliché. The author points it out to make a joke out of it in the chapters, but this quickly becomes stale and ironic. The yandere thing is an intresting spin but the romance is shallow on both sides. Constant changes in the perspectives throught the chapters make it confusing sometimes. The Cliché this goes for, the renicarnated into a story I read/played is always good for a solid "ok" read. Overall its just a good time waster. Nothing more. 

 

Grammar kinda sucks too.

Techman
  • Overall Score

Fun story with surprising heart

Reviewed at: 50. Colt Edgeworth

Yet another "reincarnated as a character in a story/game" story, but the best I've read of the category. The author avoids all the usual pitfalls that these types of stories run into. The MC was just a bit character, so he has more freedom to do what he wants. His "knows everything that will happen" cheat is limited by the fact that he doesn't remember everything and the realization that the more he changes the less he can predict.

What I love most is the depth of all the characters. The MC says he's just gonna live easy, but reveals himself to be a good person who genuinely cares about the people around him. He uses his cheat to help others instead of himself. The supporting characters are much more than cardboard cutouts. Several times characters that he remembers as stereotypes are revealed to have much greater depth and motivations as he gets to know them. 

Great story that I really enjoy and recommend.

Nomad1791
  • Overall Score

Not a lot here yet but it's well written and has one thing that so easily over looked. The mc isn't a idiot, he dosent constantly fall into self pity, he is dare I say it. Likeable. Yup can't wait to see what happens good luck author hope they masses treat you well. 

Willingly_Ignant
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I like a blend of trash, murder, and serious stories and this is more toawards the Light Novel trash. That being said, I like trash and this is some good trash. His grammar and turn of phrasing has some things to be desired but its a good read, so far the MC isn't an idiotic ass hat, overly zealous cur, or stick figure set there for wish fulfillment. Unless your in the business of appreciating that yandere love, which case this might be some wish fulfillment but I digress. 

TLDR: boy gets Issekai Ayed into a novel he dropped because it got boring. Now... WITNESS THE TRASH MOB KNOWN AS THE PLOT DEVICE (or simply side character) AVOID BEING SMOTHERED TO DEATH BY THAT YANDERE LUVIN, AND DO AS ANY A MAN SET UPON THE PATH OF DEATH BY YANDERE WOULD DO IN A MAGICAL WORLD WITH SWORDS AN MAGIC!!! Plot armour possibly included but thats why his yandere and *SPOILER* are there, because if he does die either one of them could potentially take over the story fairly easy.

Khalaenas
  • Overall Score

It seems quite good, with the only real glaring problems I found being a few words used in weird way, but that can be chalked up to inexperience of the author, and perfectionism on my side.

 

The story seems nifty and cool, though I won't go to heavily into reviewing it yet comsidering how few chapters there are currently.

 

Grammar seems kinda good. The most I notice are small misspellings and a few missing words, but it never seems completely unintelligible.

 

All in all, I like it, and hope it continues going and doesn't get dropped.