VIEWPOINT-BLOOM

by I Don't Bite...

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

This is the story of Chitra. A girl born blind, living her life in a world of darkness. This is a story of her and Finitum. The unique full-dive VRMMORPG that brought a new beginning to her life, brought her new meetings, partings, emotions, and adventure. A game that made light bloom in her dark world.

follow her journeys through the mysterious and magic-filled game that changed her life! The gameā€¦

The game...

Is Finitum really just a simple game?

Check out my discord server...

Temporary synopsis. I hate writing synopsis. Well, this is my second work. It's still in the draft phase, but please enjoy...

Cover by Adsterhappy...

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 45,664
  • Average Views :
  • 1,202
  • Followers :
  • 387
  • Favorites :
  • 77
  • Ratings :
  • 121
  • Pages :
  • 323
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
I Don't Bite...

I Don't Bite...

I Don't Bite...

Achievements
Writathon Royal Road 2019 winner
300 Comments
Word Count (12)
Faith in the Internet
Royal Writathon October 2020 winner
400 Followers
25,000 Views
15 Reviews
30 Review Upvotes
Top List #1000
6th Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Stillness
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

If you've read Data Dragon Danika this story is about similar, if darker. If you haven't, then this is the story of a blind girl who enters a virual world and can see for the first time. It is way more than that though. The characters are the best part of the story. They feel real, with genuine love and conflict between them.  The virtual world also feels very real, like action have consequences and things matter. I like how the main character treats the world like her own. She doesn't even realize there are game elements because she has never played a game due to her blindness. As for the things I disliked, there are three. First, side character view points didn't have the same emotional depth to them and, as a result, were boring. Second, the begining of the story showed a blind person being incompetent in where they were going. They are not. Blind doesn't mean stupid. There are a lot of non-visual clue to guide someones way. The author seemed to want the begining to end a certain way, which is fine, just the way the story got there was unrealistic. Third, the AI in the story are assholes and given way to much power, such as the ability to ignore user privacy at a whim. None of these are deal breakers despite how much I dislike them. I'm really enjoying the main character's story and look forward to her growth as a person.

Vowron Prime
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Journey from the Darkness into the Light

Reviewed at: 11. Search

What would it be like for an individual blind from birth, never having known sight, to suddenly be given that gift? How would they react, would they even be able to make sense of the influx of new information assaulting their senses? Would it jive with their mental image of the world? How would they deal with it emotionally?

VIEWPOINT:BLOOM explores this very scenario and does so masterfully. From the very outset, we are put in Chitra's shoes. We live the life of a young, blind Indian girl as she experiences her world, we cry with her as she goes through loss, and laugh with her as she experiences happiness. The author's storytelling is masterful, and soon we begin to feel a palpable sense of tension and excitement: how will Chitra react when she can finally see?

It's an emotional rollercoaster, it's a thriller, and it's a VR adventure story, all wrapped up into one delightful genre fusion, the likes of which I have not seen on this site.

Story

Instead of your usual straight-to-vr story that is a dime a dozen on royalroad, here we get deep, meaningful backstory into Chitra's life, and in her case, entering VR is so much more than 'checking out a new game'. It is a transcendental experience of a blind girl being given sight for the first time, and the weight of this impact comes through beautifully thanks to the amazing storytelling. Easily 5/5

Style

No complaints here. Sentences flow well, paragraphs are short, and you lose yourself in the story, which is about the highest praise I can give to Style.

Grammar

Perfect. I may have seen one or two minor mistakes, but grammar is among the very best on this site.

Character

This is definitely a strong point of this story. Chitra's character as a blind girl is so well done, you will relate to her even if you feel like you have nothing in common. Her mother, father, and supporting characters all have believable depth, which all comes together to support the rich story being told. Very impressive work here.

In summary, this story is worth anyone and everyone's time. Whether you are a VR fan or not, if you like good fiction, you owe it to yourself to give this a chance. I did, and I have to say that I was blown away. Thank you, author, for sharing your story with the world.

HMiruko
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Putting something new to the table

Reviewed at: 24. Conclusion

First of all, the story presented a unique idea splendidly. Not only did it use blindness, a sensitive topic that can easily go wrong, as its core premise, it did so without romanticizing it. Rather than centering the drama about Chitra being blind, it's been treated as another trait. Something as trivial as her father being a spendthrift, and that's a huge plus in my book.

In terms of style and grammar, the scenese were presented in a very vivid and easy to imagine manner. There's really little to say to this. It's a very well written piece with little to no mistakes.

Again, the story doesn't follow the typical LitRPG path of action and bloodbath. Don't get me wrong. The story doesn't lack any action. It's just that it feels like the action is more like additional topping to an already scrumptious cake. 

Finally, Chitra, our headstrong and reckless to the point of stupidity princess. I've already said what's to be said about her being blind, so I'll skip on that. She was a girl with a good head on her shoulders, at least during most times. After she gained vision, however, she seemed to be making one reckless/stupid decision. I do get that she's not accustomed to sight yet, but it still feels like she makes a tad of dumb choices at times. 

Mirrond
Overall

While it is too early to make a detailed review of the story, I decided to leave my own input on the story - with full intention to edit this review into a proper one once the story gets longer. 

Let me be frank - this is a very good story. The prose is decent, and the idea is very interesting. Besides, at least thus far, the author seems capable of making his characters (at least the protagonist, it's not enough time for the others to have a lot of screentime) feel sufficiently realistic. 

In short - reading this story is a good idea :P 

ShadeByTheSea
Overall

The story seems well written and none of the characters so far seem cookie cutter. It's just going down a much hasher and darker path than normal for these disablility fixed through VR stories.

If your looking for something darker than normal, that will likely be full of tradegy(or at least harsh reality) than this is the story for you.

If your looking for the typical happy story of this genre than look elseware, for it might turn out well in the end but that's not a risk I can afford to take.

Seerica
Overall

I've read until ch 16 when I decided that this is too good to be left without a review.

While reading the first chapter you might assume that the accident will lock the protagonist in a game, like many VRMMO works chose to do. But then, and in the following chapters, it showed that the authors has their own vision of the story that goes beyond a cookie cutter work of the same genre.

But, given that protag circumstances, the first story arc is dedicated to laying the foundation of protagonist and her interactions with others. It might seem quite slow to some.

On the other hand, that foundation connects you to her character, and improve the emotional highs and lows of future conflicts. Which is needed, given that VRMMO player characters usually can respawn.

Redchaos1
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Finitum is not a simple game

Reviewed at: 10. Thoringar's Test

I have never read a story with a blind character before. I am glad to say that the author treats it with the gravity and respect that it deserves while giving the Chitra more of a character than just the blind girl like many stories tend to unfortunately do.

The grammar is great and i couldn't find any mistakes that bothered my reading. The style and flow of the writing is smooth and it makes it extremely fun to read.

Small subtle things like character expressions or even manners of speach are written in and they help give you a clear picture of the characters and how they react to thing's.

If you are expecting the same vr game powere fantasy, this story is not that. It is a fun well thought out story that takes into beautifully crafted world, inhabited by well developed characters who are center piece of this story.

Like mentioned above, this is a character driven story and it's character interactions and their fun distinct personalities that will have you coming back to this story.

Chitra is a fun main character and her growth throughout the book and interactions with others will stick with you even after you are done reading.

Nameless32
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Ah, the "disabled person finds fully immersive VR and gets to experience X again/for the first time" trope. Truly widespread amongst sci-fi style litRPGs, and for good reason. Even by itself, it provides character, plot, and world development that gives stories a framework for what they become. Viewpoint-BLOOM... doesn't need it. 

What do I mean by this? Well, this story more than carries itself even without that premise. Just the descriptive prose and brilliant characters are enough to make you want to stay. You get to see the life of a blind girl, but it isn't told as some sort of sob story or tragic misfortune. It's just life, and Chitra's personality really leaks through here. Because while her disabilities are the crux of her problems, it is not centered around them.

Spoiler: Spoiler

Oh, and the grammar is near impeccable. I couldn't find a place to mention that in the body of this review so here's a tiny section for it.

Overall, if you're looking for a more character-driven litRPG that breaks the RR norm, maybe give this a read! I'd highly recommend it :)

Ravis
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overview:
Viewpoint-Bloom is a story about a disabled blind girl who enters a VR game to experience sight for the first time. While it's not the first story to use this sort of trope. It does however do it extremely well with a wonderfully unique perspective.

Style:
The style is super smooth and flowing. It's very easy to get lost in the story. With a good introspective to detail ratio you don't ever feel bogged down reading it.

Grammar:
While I am not the best judge of Grammar, no mistakes really stand out in my mind. I think it's mostly due to the fact I just wanted to keep reading.

Story Score:
The story is absolutely wonderful. It doesn't move too fast or too slow. The pacing feels just right and you feel like your organically getting to know the characters and watch them move forward. The story doesn't rush into the action. Instead it focuses on the experience of the moment. Which for a blind girl seeing for the first time is absolutely perfect.

Characters:
 Chitra is definetly what makes the story. Reading her experience of being blind and living her life makes her feel like a friend we could all get along with. She has emotions, fears, and really good depth.
While the supporting cast hasn't gotten a lot of face time. They are equally as believeable and relatable. I am actually very excited to see more characters introduced and how they interact with Chitra.

In Closing:
Viewpoint-Bloom reads like it should be a best seller list to be honest. It's a wonderful story and a breath of fresh air to the genre. It hints at something bigger happening below the surface while still giving focus to the MC and her exploration not only into a new world. But being able to see, to have sight for the very first time.

Do yourself a favor and read it. I bet by chapter two you are hooked. I hope the author sticks with it and we get to go on adventures with Chitra for a long time.

TaxReligion
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great Emotional Writing and Character work

Reviewed at: 7. An agreement

This is a great piece of work.  The area it shines is the character work.  The first 7 chapters is all emotional build up to the MC Chitra actually entering the VR world and gaining her sense of sight back.  It's a much slower pace introduction than most people of Royal Road will expect, but it's extremely well written.  It gives a very deep and intimate characterization of it's main character, and her parents right out the gate, with strong emotional beats.  This is a story that will pull at your heart strings, and get you invested in the characters.

There are some grammar mistakes in the later chapters that I read, but they are minor.

For style, I think the writer would do well to firmly cement which narrative voice she is going for.   It seems to be third person omniscient, since it will describe stuff the MC clearly can't see.  But, there were times it didn't feel like third person omniscient.