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This is the story of Chitra. A girl born blind, living her life in a world of darkness. This is a story of her and Finitum. The unique full-dive VRMMORPG that brought a new beginning to her life, brought her new meetings, partings, emotions, and adventure. A game that made light bloom in her dark world.
follow her journeys through the mysterious and magic-filled game that changed her life! The game…
Is Finitum really just a simple game?
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Temporary synopsis. I hate writing synopsis. Well, this is my second work. It's still in the draft phase, but please enjoy...
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If you've read Data Dragon Danika this story is about similar, if darker. If you haven't, then this is the story of a blind girl who enters a virual world and can see for the first time. It is way more than that though. The characters are the best part of the story. They feel real, with genuine love and conflict between them. The virtual world also feels very real, like action have consequences and things matter. I like how the main character treats the world like her own. She doesn't even realize there are game elements because she has never played a game due to her blindness. As for the things I disliked, there are three. First, side character view points didn't have the same emotional depth to them and, as a result, were boring. Second, the begining of the story showed a blind person being incompetent in where they were going. They are not. Blind doesn't mean stupid. There are a lot of non-visual clue to guide someones way. The author seemed to want the begining to end a certain way, which is fine, just the way the story got there was unrealistic. Third, the AI in the story are assholes and given way to much power, such as the ability to ignore user privacy at a whim. None of these are deal breakers despite how much I dislike them. I'm really enjoying the main character's story and look forward to her growth as a person.
What would it be like for an individual blind from birth, never having known sight, to suddenly be given that gift? How would they react, would they even be able to make sense of the influx of new information assaulting their senses? Would it jive with their mental image of the world? How would they deal with it emotionally?
VIEWPOINT:BLOOM explores this very scenario and does so masterfully. From the very outset, we are put in Chitra's shoes. We live the life of a young, blind Indian girl as she experiences her world, we cry with her as she goes through loss, and laugh with her as she experiences happiness. The author's storytelling is masterful, and soon we begin to feel a palpable sense of tension and excitement: how will Chitra react when she can finally see?
It's an emotional rollercoaster, it's a thriller, and it's a VR adventure story, all wrapped up into one delightful genre fusion, the likes of which I have not seen on this site.
Instead of your usual straight-to-vr story that is a dime a dozen on royalroad, here we get deep, meaningful backstory into Chitra's life, and in her case, entering VR is so much more than 'checking out a new game'. It is a transcendental experience of a blind girl being given sight for the first time, and the weight of this impact comes through beautifully thanks to the amazing storytelling. Easily 5/5
No complaints here. Sentences flow well, paragraphs are short, and you lose yourself in the story, which is about the highest praise I can give to Style.
Perfect. I may have seen one or two minor mistakes, but grammar is among the very best on this site.
This is definitely a strong point of this story. Chitra's character as a blind girl is so well done, you will relate to her even if you feel like you have nothing in common. Her mother, father, and supporting characters all have believable depth, which all comes together to support the rich story being told. Very impressive work here.
In summary, this story is worth anyone and everyone's time. Whether you are a VR fan or not, if you like good fiction, you owe it to yourself to give this a chance. I did, and I have to say that I was blown away. Thank you, author, for sharing your story with the world.
First of all, the story presented a unique idea splendidly. Not only did it use blindness, a sensitive topic that can easily go wrong, as its core premise, it did so without romanticizing it. Rather than centering the drama about Chitra being blind, it's been treated as another trait. Something as trivial as her father being a spendthrift, and that's a huge plus in my book.
In terms of style and grammar, the scenese were presented in a very vivid and easy to imagine manner. There's really little to say to this. It's a very well written piece with little to no mistakes.
Again, the story doesn't follow the typical LitRPG path of action and bloodbath. Don't get me wrong. The story doesn't lack any action. It's just that it feels like the action is more like additional topping to an already scrumptious cake.
Finally, Chitra, our headstrong and reckless to the point of stupidity princess. I've already said what's to be said about her being blind, so I'll skip on that. She was a girl with a good head on her shoulders, at least during most times. After she gained vision, however, she seemed to be making one reckless/stupid decision. I do get that she's not accustomed to sight yet, but it still feels like she makes a tad of dumb choices at times.
While it is too early to make a detailed review of the story, I decided to leave my own input on the story - with full intention to edit this review into a proper one once the story gets longer.
Let me be frank - this is a very good story. The prose is decent, and the idea is very interesting. Besides, at least thus far, the author seems capable of making his characters (at least the protagonist, it's not enough time for the others to have a lot of screentime) feel sufficiently realistic.
In short - reading this story is a good idea :P
The story seems well written and none of the characters so far seem cookie cutter. It's just going down a much hasher and darker path than normal for these disablility fixed through VR stories.
If your looking for something darker than normal, that will likely be full of tradegy(or at least harsh reality) than this is the story for you.
If your looking for the typical happy story of this genre than look elseware, for it might turn out well in the end but that's not a risk I can afford to take.
I like this story quite a bit, grammar, style and pacing are great. The story as an almost haunting vibe to it and the hints of a behind-the-scene-plot work well. The main flaw however is the lacking curiosity of the main character. She is understandably emotional about her situation but does nothing to investigate the strange helper AI, or any other clues. She never even checks her status or skills and asks zero questions about stats even though they are part of her quest rewards. It just seems very implausible at this point in the story. In a way, this turns the first 30 chapters into more of a fantasy story instead of litrpg. Still, it is a great fantasy story, just not exactly what I was looking for from the tags and synopsis.
Going into this story, I was truly unable to know what I was supposed to expect. From the brief look at the summary of the story, I got to be informed of the fact that the main character would be blind. I initially thought this to be likened to other blind characters, like one of the side characters in The Dragon's Wrath Series. Here, it would include the daily life of the character, how she goes by with her blindness, and how that affects her when joining the game for the first time. Overall, these expectations were met pretty well. A large chunk of the start is focused on her early teens to adulthood, where we see a few moments of her foundations. Not going to say much about what exactly happened, but it was a good idea to create starting character flaws that would be needed to be overcome.
When it comes to the sensory style of the story, I do find it a bit lacking. This story is about a blind girl. From that, I would expect that this fact is put forth through a near-overuse of the other senses. For example, during a chess scene(I think it was chess) there could have been descriptions of how a piece felt. But, we were given little more than the outside perspective of the pieces being there, instead of any real detail. Normally, this would not be any real criticism since this style is used pretty commonly, but I personally felt like more descriptive scenes would have fit more with the blind aspect. An example of that would have been the initial time where she gets to see, and we get to see how that affects her. Still feel like that one was cut very short(though, the author states that he skipped that part due to inexperience with the craft, which is totally fine).
I have not read too far into the story. I know the initial backstory, I know the beginning of her journey inside, and I know the start of what will likely become a larger plot. From this, I may not be able to tell exactly how well the story is done. What I can say is that I enjoyed what I saw very much. Sure, there might have been a bit cliche of tragedy, but the original aspects make it all acceptable to read.
Grammar is something I don't feel the need to say much about. From my casual glances at the text, I found a single mistake. A missing " ... Not the most serious, and not something that should be taken as a reason not to read the story. Everything else was fine.
The characters in the story are pretty well-made. Sure, there are a lot of them, making it hard to remember them all at the start. And it's not like you really need to. It's the impressions that set out which amazes me. The father, as an example, clearly cares for his daughter. And the daughter, who is the main character, clearly loves her father, even if she does make a few empty threats of abandonment every now and then.
Overall, I give this story 5/5 with only mild criticism of the style.
Alright, up until this point. I have come across some...terrible LitRpg's. Well, this is not the case. While the summary can use some work, the story telling of it goes much more and above. I had gone in blind without knowing this, until I specirically checked the genre.
Characters having some sort of disabilities having a chance in regaining utility inside of a game. Now, unlike those others. It has a proper conflict, a reasoning, a steady story. There is familial conflict as well. It has a good balance between nice and sadness, I guess you can say bittersweet.
I haven't even noticed much, figured the game was more or less there as part of the story. However, it does actually hold a good purpose. It was nice how the exposition of it lead up towards the reasoning at hand. How each find a purpose again, it is endearing. Overall, I have to give it credit. Even the characters are immersive. You did quite well here. While I am not fond of this genre, I cannot give anymore credit than now. I have a bit more of a change on opinion of this genre.
If there is one thing I do have to say about it, can try and concentrate the story a bit. Given how far I read, it is still not quite clear, but I will assume these points becomes clearer as it progresses. I am quite a patient person, so even a few more chapters from now will be fine in all actuality.
Out of all the tags used for this story, VIEWPOINT-BLOOM lives up to its virtual reality tag the most. The male lead and supernatural tags have not been made apparent as of chapter 33. However, this is most certainly a story centered around a strong female lead. The sci-fi element is set in the near future and primarily revolves around the aforementioned virtual reality.
Thus far, the story has many similar elements to a personal favorite light novel series called Infinite Dendrogram. If you also enjoy Dendro, then you are very likely to appreciate VIEWPOINT-BLOOM. Perhaps the thing that most links this story to Infinite Dendrogram in my mind is how the supposed NPC's are used as viewpoint characters. This clearly lets the reader know that the ostensible game is not at all what it appears to be on the surface.
The main character, however, is definitely a human. She is a blind young girl named Chitra who experiences sight for the very first time via the game. This means that, while Chitra is very much a newbie at playing games, she's also more naive than even a regular newbie because she is also contending with the difficulty of processing something most players take for granted: sight. As a direct result of her extreme inexperience, she finds herself involved in things that a more experienced gamer would consider totally unreasonable. That lack of "common sense" allows her to grow at a greatly accelerated pace, but that same growth comes at the price of several painful lessons.
Style and grammar are both more than adequate, but the star of the show here is the virtual reality game and how Chitra interacts with it. The secondary human characters are (so far) not particularly well developed, aside from the father, and the real-world is a secondary concern for the story. As a reader, I find myself concerned that Chitra will lose her sense of boundaries between what is real and what is not. A concern I think her father shares.
I'm rooting for Chitra, and I think you will too. She is flawed and emotionally scarred but a brave young woman whose world has expanded explosively. There are bound to be many new problems created by that explosion. However, I can't help but think that she will come out the other side far stronger for the experience.
I've read until ch 16 when I decided that this is too good to be left without a review.
While reading the first chapter you might assume that the accident will lock the protagonist in a game, like many VRMMO works chose to do. But then, and in the following chapters, it showed that the authors has their own vision of the story that goes beyond a cookie cutter work of the same genre.
But, given that protag circumstances, the first story arc is dedicated to laying the foundation of protagonist and her interactions with others. It might seem quite slow to some.
On the other hand, that foundation connects you to her character, and improve the emotional highs and lows of future conflicts. Which is needed, given that VRMMO player characters usually can respawn.