VIEWPOINT-BLOOM

by I Don't Bite...

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi Female Lead LitRPG Magic Male Lead Strong Lead Supernatural Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

This is the story of Chitra. A girl born blind, living her life in a world of darkness. This is a story of her and Finitum. The unique full-dive VRMMORPG that brought a new beginning to her life, brought her new meetings, partings, emotions, and adventure. A game that made light bloom in her dark world.

follow her journeys through the mysterious and magic-filled game that changed her life! The game…

The game...

Is Finitum really just a simple game?

Temporary synopsis. I hate writing synopsis. Well, this is my second work. It's still in the draft phase, but please enjoy...

Cover by Adsterhappy...

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  • Pages :
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Author
I Don't Bite...

I Don't Bite...

I Don't Bite...

Achievements
Writathon Royal Road 2019 winner
15 Reviews
200 Followers
100 Comments
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30 Review Upvotes
Top List #1000
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Vowron Prime
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A Journey from the Darkness into the Light

Reviewed at: 11. Search

What would it be like for an individual blind from birth, never having known sight, to suddenly be given that gift? How would they react, would they even be able to make sense of the influx of new information assaulting their senses? Would it jive with their mental image of the world? How would they deal with it emotionally?

VIEWPOINT:BLOOM explores this very scenario and does so masterfully. From the very outset, we are put in Chitra's shoes. We live the life of a young, blind Indian girl as she experiences her world, we cry with her as she goes through loss, and laugh with her as she experiences happiness. The author's storytelling is masterful, and soon we begin to feel a palpable sense of tension and excitement: how will Chitra react when she can finally see?

It's an emotional rollercoaster, it's a thriller, and it's a VR adventure story, all wrapped up into one delightful genre fusion, the likes of which I have not seen on this site.

Story

Instead of your usual straight-to-vr story that is a dime a dozen on royalroad, here we get deep, meaningful backstory into Chitra's life, and in her case, entering VR is so much more than 'checking out a new game'. It is a transcendental experience of a blind girl being given sight for the first time, and the weight of this impact comes through beautifully thanks to the amazing storytelling. Easily 5/5

Style

No complaints here. Sentences flow well, paragraphs are short, and you lose yourself in the story, which is about the highest praise I can give to Style.

Grammar

Perfect. I may have seen one or two minor mistakes, but grammar is among the very best on this site.

Character

This is definitely a strong point of this story. Chitra's character as a blind girl is so well done, you will relate to her even if you feel like you have nothing in common. Her mother, father, and supporting characters all have believable depth, which all comes together to support the rich story being told. Very impressive work here.

In summary, this story is worth anyone and everyone's time. Whether you are a VR fan or not, if you like good fiction, you owe it to yourself to give this a chance. I did, and I have to say that I was blown away. Thank you, author, for sharing your story with the world.

Mirrond
  • Overall Score

While it is too early to make a detailed review of the story, I decided to leave my own input on the story - with full intention to edit this review into a proper one once the story gets longer. 

Let me be frank - this is a very good story. The prose is decent, and the idea is very interesting. Besides, at least thus far, the author seems capable of making his characters (at least the protagonist, it's not enough time for the others to have a lot of screentime) feel sufficiently realistic. 

In short - reading this story is a good idea :P 

Lord Vile
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Good, doesnt feel like it was written by a social outcast for once

Reviewed at: 16. Haphazard Strategy

Its good, and I like it quite a bit.

The main character is the best part so far, she is very well written, and the author does a very good job of portraying her as someone who is blind, and her struggles adapting to being able to see and walk again in vr.

The world is being build up nicely, theres sinister plots in the background and npcs and interactions are well rounded and strike a nice balance between quest giving and real people distrustful of the players.

Style and grammar are fine, some very minor typos occasionally but no deep issues with flow or readability.

All in all, a very nice vr story so far, worth a read if that floats your boat.

Nameless32
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Ah, the "disabled person finds fully immersive VR and gets to experience X again/for the first time" trope. Truly widespread amongst sci-fi style litRPGs, and for good reason. Even by itself, it provides character, plot, and world development that gives stories a framework for what they become. Viewpoint-BLOOM... doesn't need it. 

What do I mean by this? Well, this story more than carries itself even without that premise. Just the descriptive prose and brilliant characters are enough to make you want to stay. You get to see the life of a blind girl, but it isn't told as some sort of sob story or tragic misfortune. It's just life, and Chitra's personality really leaks through here. Because while her disabilities are the crux of her problems, it is not centered around them.

Spoiler: Spoiler

Oh, and the grammar is near impeccable. I couldn't find a place to mention that in the body of this review so here's a tiny section for it.

Overall, if you're looking for a more character-driven litRPG that breaks the RR norm, maybe give this a read! I'd highly recommend it :)

Hyper Suda
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An immedite groan usually washes over me when reading the words "RPG" on most stories, but this one is diffrent. This story follows Chitra, a young blind indian girl, as she attempts to traverse a VR RPG game that also renders her the sense of sight renewed. At first, you may think that this sounds like an immedite set-up for a power-wank fantasy but the approach this story takes is more "Serial Experiements Lain" then "Sword Art Online." There is of course battle mecahnics located within, but the true strength of the book is in it's depction of humanity.

Chitra cannot see, yet the authors style uses this to paing a beautiful picture of the world. With her lack of sight, comes an endless number of options for visual imagery and ways to describe the virtual world (My personal favorite being here calibrating the game's colors as if they were song notes). The style of writing is slick and incredibly vibrant, the authors subtle control of the language adding more and more weight to the writing. It's not easy to write someone with a sensory disability such as Chitara, but it's pulled off beautifully here. Really the only possible critcisim I have is that I wasn't incredibly interested in any of the characters except Chitara (such as her father) but I'm sure as I read onward, and more updates come in, that this will easily be rectified, especially with how likeable the protagonist is.

Even if you're tired of repatitive RPG fiction clogging up the front page, this is not one of those stories I assure you. It is not a self-insertion fantasy that tries to bite off more than it can chew. It is so much better than that.

ztaylor
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And This is How You Do A LitRPG

Reviewed at: 11. Search

Story - Oh joy, yet another LitRPG where our social outcast MC puts on a VR helmet and...hang on a minute. This isn't like that at all. This is the story of a blind girl who sees for the first time after she puts on a VR helmet. Holy shit! That's great! That puts a really unique spin on a genre that's basically been beaten to death at this point. 

Style - This author conveys emotion so well. We feel for Chitra, our main character, becasue she's experiencing sight for the first time through a video game. As someone who has a massive vision disability, it really hit home and got me a little emotional while reading it at some points. As for the writing itself, it flows wonderfully. No choppy paragraphs or infodumps to slow down the pacing. Well done!

Grammar - My shortest section. Some small typos here and there, but nothing major. 

Character - Chitra is such an incredible character. She isn't written like some social outcast who's entire life revolves around playing video games. She's believable, and never really doing anything that leaves me scratching my head and asking "Why the hell did you do that?". The supporting cast, mostly her family, are all well written too. 

All in all, insane job here, author. Well done! 

RicksySnowy
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Black(Bolly reference) in futuristic VR world

Reviewed at: 14. Return

A story when VR isn't just a plot mechanic to introduce elements of escapism, but instead very plot relevant. I absolutely loved it.

Style

Straightforward and clean. Not much purple and Fluffy but instead gets straight to the point. Very accessible. I docked one star just because my personal bias towards more 'flowery' prose. Nothing's wrong with it otherwise.

Story

As I said in the intro, it really has a deep story instead of some self-servicing escapist trash churning out of the site in heaps(not a slant against them though). The setup to her life outside the game felt real and actually mattered. And the game itself is giving off some heavy conspiracy vibes...

Grammar

I didn't notice anything. I don't notice them most of the time anyway. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Character 

The selling point. Chitra is endearing and lovely to follow after. And it's actually believable that she is blind. It may look like an easy task on the reader's side but it's hell on the other. Utmost care has been taken into realizing the character. Good job author. The side characters(aside from the father) seem lacking at the moment. I hope it changes in the future. May update it to a five then.

(Also surprised by the lack of ellipses in the story given how frequently the author uses it irl interactions... ⚈ ̫ ⚈) 

Stillness
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If you've read Data Dragon Danika this story is about similar, if darker. If you haven't, then this is the story of a blind girl who enters a virual world and can see for the first time. It is way more than that though. The characters are the best part of the story. They feel real, with genuine love and conflict between them.  The virtual world also feels very real, like action have consequences and things matter. I like how the main character treats the world like her own. She doesn't even realize there are game elements because she has never played a game due to her blindness. As for the things I disliked, there are three. First, side character view points didn't have the same emotional depth to them and, as a result, were boring. Second, the begining of the story showed a blind person being incompetent in where they were going. They are not. Blind doesn't mean stupid. There are a lot of non-visual clue to guide someones way. The author seemed to want the begining to end a certain way, which is fine, just the way the story got there was unrealistic. Third, the AI in the story are assholes and given way to much power, such as the ability to ignore user privacy at a whim. None of these are deal breakers despite how much I dislike them. I'm really enjoying the main character's story and look forward to her growth as a person.

Half Life
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Chitra, or Bloom as her avatar is named, is not just new to the game (Finitum), or gaming in general, but to even something as fundamental as the sense of sight. Common things gamers would take for granted, like depth perception, or how objects like a bow should work, are foreign to her. However, what she does have is a lot of willpower and fearlessness that borders on idiocy (just ask her onboard AI).

By far the best thing about this story is Chitra/Bloom. The game world and general storytelling surrounding it remind me a lot of Infinite Dendrogram (which is one of my favorite series). Character-wise we know (and care) as much about some NPCs as we do the other human players at this point, so my character score is based solely on the strength of Chitra's character.

The writing style is straightforward, without much fluff. The periodic change of focus from Bloom's story to other characters was frustrating because I just didn't have any reason to care about them or their stories. It felt like wasted time when Bloom's story was so compelling and urgent. I had to fight the urge to skip those chapters entirely to get back to Bloom's story.

I look forward to reading more.

ShadeByTheSea
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The story seems well written and none of the characters so far seem cookie cutter. It's just going down a much hasher and darker path than normal for these disablility fixed through VR stories.

If your looking for something darker than normal, that will likely be full of tradegy(or at least harsh reality) than this is the story for you.

If your looking for the typical happy story of this genre than look elseware, for it might turn out well in the end but that's not a risk I can afford to take.