The Dungeon Child
by Angry Spider
Argus was a dungeon, sprawling for miles under the cities of man above all the way until a human, angry at the death of one of his companions, murdered him.
When he discovered where he was, he found that he had come back to life as nothing more or less than a human being, complete with its own nervous system, organs, and brain. Worst of all, his precious System is gone, and he has to actually grow up.
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It's the classic reincarnated in another world as a dungeon, but turned on it's head.
Read up to chapter four, which is sadly all there is so far but it's an interesting concept, an inversion of the usual dungeon core stories where some dwarf/dragon/human turns into a dungeon and has to build up a dungeon from scratch. Instead of that we get a dungeon core reincarnation story, where a former dungeon turns into adorable toddler of death... or something.
Looking forward to seeing where it goes. Insta followed.
BUT, without more chapters, and most importantly, more content per chapter this will take ages to turn into a real story.
Though in the moment there isn't anything, at all to criticize, the lack of pages is the biggest problem in the moment.
Otherwise no problems, the story is (reaaally) slowly starting to take shape and there are already many characters, we also already get emotional development.
It isn't that difficult to write a good start with a good idea, many novels here on Royalroad had that initial success. What IS difficult, is to turn that idea into a great novel. While this indeed has a fantastic start it still has to be seen, whether this will become a great novel, or whether it will go awry. I like it though. (Edited 5 to 4.5 stars because of the slow release date.)
Great story with an interesting twist!! Very refreshing!
The story is much more than I had expected. There's humor, realism, and suspense that brings about a swirling concoction of emotions. My only advise is that having read 31 chapters in and at the end of volume 1; I've realized, there's still no actual story. Everything is still at the stage of building a story.
This is really good. I'm surprised it hasn't blown up yet.
Lovely story, well fleshed out characters make this story great.We can't help but empathize with the main character as he struggles with being in our world.
Not sure what it is but the moment I started reading it was a fight to stop it enraptured me with such fluent grammar put together with a calculative yet equally unfamiliar point of view for writing. I love it a creative take and many questions you ask not just the protagonist. God I love the spider thesis was amazing.
Nice start of dungeon getting transported to reality as a kid. Short chapters. Story concept is, 'hey look it's autistic evil little genius as a kid' with nice Mom, bad Dad. Don't particularly like MC, and felt like the dungeon stuff was an extra element that could be cut for any other magic-like background, though I'm sure the spiders would stay the same. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck on other projects. This one didn't hold my interest because it went too hard into childhood slice of life.
Style-this seems to be actually written in the thought process of the mc who's autistic by human standards not much to say but it was pretty good
Story-it seems to be going nowhere his killer is introduced but then never mentioned agian he has a probably alcoholic father who apparently shits on him (not that the author introduced this at all he just makes him generic bad guy #1) it's slice of life shit pretty much which is misleading because it's not a tag :/ barely anything magical or cool happens it's pretty much a autistic kids life journey which I don't think was alluded too
Grammar-nothing to say here pretty much perfect grammar
characters-this is pretty much the main issue this author can't write a believable character for their life the mc is the one who I usually understand and emphasize with the most because we spend most of the story through their lense and thoughts but I can barely care about Jason cus hes a literal baby like I thought he was a reincarnated dungeon which probably lived for centuries and he can barely understand human behavior or emotions like bruh you'd think he'd seen one or two humans crying over their dead friends corpse after he slaughtered them ? The side characters are bland and forgettable the spider is probably the only one people actually like cus it doesn't open its mouth and the one dimensional dad you have to write YOUR OWN BACKSTORY FOR is a generic bad guy that the author slapped into the story to add conflict so it artifaclly makes it interesting instead of you know making a plot to drive interest it's almost like this "kid" has no goals or ambition besides "mommy hug me" or "emotionnnnsds??!!?????" You'd think he'd want to recreate a murder hole considering he spent his whole life being one but apparently not also this mom is just as bad because she doesn't do anything to stop or prevent the dad from being a asshole so she's just a passive hug giver who sometimes yells at him for stupid shit like you'd think she'd know he'd be a dick(can't have that juicy conflict being prevented tho how's the author gonna keep this story intresting without a big red button he wrote in called bullshit) considering she's probably married to him 🤦♂️ just screams no thought and cliches after cliche a character is a "human" basically a set of drives, goals, memories, experiences, dislikes, ext too many things to include but with such a wide selection you'd think you'd get at least a couple but no we get one dimensional cardboard boxes the author makes to entertain for 2 seconds, now I'm not saying you have to create a masterpiece but if your story is the same after TWENTY CHAPTERS your doing something wrong