Rise of the Dungeon

by Zolfaghar

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Reincarnation

Through a series of unfortunate events, the young mage Arz turns into a dungeon. He needs to adapt to his new live, fast, as adventurers are already knocking in front of his cave.

Will he able to survive? How will he overcome all the dangers? Follow the story as the dungeon rises in power.  

 

Vol 1 The Dungeon: ch 1-20 (+6 side chapters)

Vol 2 The Civil War: ch 21-... (+2 side chapters so far)


Disclaimer: This story may not have as much 'dungeon building' as some of the genre fans are hoping for.


Note: Mystery of the dungeon is the main inspiration of the series. Other than that, I also use elements from dungeon master stories (such as Lair, OreDungeon, Evil God Average, Maou no Hajimekata, etc.) and monster evolution stories (such as Re:Monster, Kumo desu ga nani ka, Overseer, etc.) for reference.

That said, I'll try to be as original as possible. Thank you for reading. Your comments, suggestions and critics are always welcomed. ^_^

 

Ps. Thanks Sleeping Soul in the Sky for the cool vol.1 cover and Bram for the magnificent vol.2 cover

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 599,560
  • Average Views :
  • 14,989
  • Followers :
  • 1,270
  • Favorites :
  • 297
  • Ratings :
  • 118
  • Pages :
  • 506
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Zolfaghar

Zolfaghar

I will become god of the penguin world

Achievements
Great Commenter (V)
Fledgling Reviewer (I)
Good Review (II)
Word Smith (V)
Toplist #2000
I Am Flying (VII)
Wizards in Wonderland Contest Participant
Error Fixer
Participant in the birthday writing contest
Cartography Contest 2015 - Participant!
Village Head (V)
Advertisement
Remove
Reviews

Leave a review

esliesma
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Giving a review as requested on Forum, helping another fellow writer out :)

Now I will be try to be harsh as possible, without destroying your soul and your future hope as a writer.

The first few chapters are actually quite good in setting up, the father and son personalities.  However, that being said, I have a problem that this story is becoming predictable. If you're going to do cliches, the dungeon story in itself is original but is being a bit over done.

You're doing well making the character unique and likable that the whole dungeon theme seems fresh. When all of a sudden, we have the regular plot cliche the weak girl, He wants a harem, falling in love, she doesn't know, etc. What I'm saying is the possible love interest is weak, if you're going to continue with her, make her likable or interesting.

Because honestly as of right now, I'm hoping he consumes her soul.  I have no connection to her, as a reader, I don't want them to live a happily ever after. So just make sure, you make us like her or at least if you want us to hate her, make her interesting.

Hope this helps!

whomightub3
  • Overall Score

Starts with  an awesome concept. Reuses many concepts from similar stories, which is fine. Then the author goes rogue with some of the characters. Quits writing for long periods time. The whole story needs to be scrapped for parts and rebooted.

deuszurich
  • Overall Score

great fiction im a fan of this type of fiction sadly its been going out of style because there are too many bullies/haters/grammar freaks here on this site STAY STRONG hope this fictions goes on a long time hope RLs not gonna be difficult for you anyways this is a great read pls support ^^

cyanBlue
  • Overall Score

Original beginning and a fun story to read. Keep up the good work!

MorViuM
  • Overall Score

hope you will continue this novel!!

nice story

 

love MC

 

i love this novel aahahaha

Vayth
  • Overall Score

I love the concept, and it has endless possibilities what MC can do with his dungeon. I hope there will be more TD/RTS aspects involved again beside the RPG one in the future.

Felight
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

As I meantioned in the comments of c29 the story is some what entertaining, thought most characters, mc included, are naive morons I believe it is part of the world setting of self rightous mercenaries and religion of the world.

 

What really bothers me is the good sentences destroyed by repeating misuse of incorrect grammar in verbs. And uncountable substantives. These blaring repeating mistakes make the story a headache to read, taking away a full rating in my view as the actual amount of typos is surprising nonexistant or close to it.

Horst
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Beginning was fun, sadly didn't stay that way

Dropped at Chapter 24

So the Review does not include most recent chapters.

 

The beginning is quite enjoyable, but after chapter 10 or so it gets significantly worse.

Reasons that make me drop it :

SPOILER

1.

The Story itself, the MC just became a dungeon and 2 weeks later he is involved in a War between multiple Kingdoms while he hadn't had enough time to upgrade his dungeon or himself  porperly. 

2.

The MC made quite a lot of really stupid decisions in the last 10 chapters or so just to further the plot like the Author laid it out.

3. 

The childhood-girlfriend is incredibly stupid as a character especially if you consider that she is supposed to be someone from a military family and i would expect the MC to be smarter than just to accept everything she does.

4. 

The MC has almost no reason to get involved with the Kingdoms in his direct vicinity, as long as he slowly ramps up the difficulty of his dungeon he could easily lvl up while the guilds haven't sent a OP Raid to his dungeon.

 

TL;DR

Beginning was fine, got worse with time. If you're bored knock yourself out, otherwise keep searching