The Unusual Mage

by Ghostknight

Original ONGOING Adventure Fantasy GameLit Grimdark High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters Slice of Life
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Within the boundaries of the Covenant everyone lived peacefully, the ruling mages seldom seen.  Within its bounds is born Martin, seemingly a normal boy and blacksmith's apprentice that is brought into the wider world of those ascended, to the Magi.  A new world, new challenges, and dark threats on the horizon drawing ever closer

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  • Pages :
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Ghostknight

Ghostknight

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SelimFarstrider
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This isn't a bad story by any means. It's just middle of the road. The good news is that there are a lot of areas with easy improvement. Most notably having a proofreader would be ideal because there are many easily fixable grammar mistakes, misspelled words, and omitted words.

There are a lot of places where I had to stop and try to puzzle out what was being said and eventually I have up and started skimming until I have up on the story.

The style is ok but it really feels like the author wanted to write straight fantasy but is writing litrpg/gamelight because it's popular without really knowing how it works. I'm all for the idea of what they're going for but it feels off in a bad way.

The story didn't make much sense to me. The main character is a smith but after a couple months of training they get thrown to the wolves. He's a supposedly one of a kind craftsman who everyone is in awe of so that plot line doesn't seem realistic to me and really threw me.

Overall the characters don't really have much character. At least where I stopped around chapter 10. It's not helped that between one chapter and the next the first 3 months if training go by. The system is explained to the main character off screen so the reader is left wondering how things work and what the strategies for attribute and skill assignment are.

Overall this story feels stilted and the two major problems are grammar and pacing issues. It's worth checking out if you're interested. 

Primate
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AN INTRIGUING NOVEL

Reviewed at: Chapter 7

The Style.

The author is using the omniscient third person narration. He is able to capture the feelings, thoughts, perspectives and acts of the characters involved in the story, and conveyed them to the readers successfully. More importantly, he was able to maintain character development and the world development simultaneously.

The story.

Starting with the synopsis.

"Within the boundaries of the Covenant everyone lived peacefully, the ruling mages seldom seen.  Within its bounds is born Martin, seemingly a normal boy and blacksmith's apprentice that is brought into the wider world of those ascended, to the Magi.  A new world, new challenges, and dark threats on the horizon drawing ever closer."

Although the synopsis could be better, the plotline is very simple and easily summarized. However, once the readers pick this novel up, it will be difficult to put down. The story doesn't deviate from the plotline and is developing nicely. The worldbuilding is also incredibly done.

The grammar.

The grammar is actually good, albeit a few errors. It can be distractive, but it's not disrupting the flow of the story. 

The characters.

The characters are well defined. So far, the main focus is on the MC, and I can say that he is an excellent character who really fits his role, so far. His interaction with others and his development is simply marvelous. We'll see how other characters are mapped out as the story progresses.

Well done author. Keep it up.   

 

readwritemaniac
  • Overall Score

An interesting read so far

Reviewed at: Chapter 13

So, I have just started and find this to be an interesting read.  While enjoying LITRpg, I appreciate having fewer text boxes and rather reserving them for important information.  Sometimes their usage is overwhelming and detracts from the story. Still, early days and a number of chapters to go so I hopethis does not change.

Updated:  So nearly finished what has been posted and initial impressions have not changed.  I do think it could do with a bit more character development and focus on issues not directly related to the plot

RiahWeston
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Who says I can't be a magi stuck in the forges making swords and armour?

Reviewed at: Chapter 6

The Unusual Mage definitely carries the themes and usages of the classics when it comes to LitRPG, so it is extra refreshing when it don't try to force itself into the use of text boxes and just does the formatting itselfs. The simplicity also definitely helps making it a nice read.

Grammar - No real errors that I saw so 5/5 easy enough.

Style & Story - While the story is still definitely developing, everything is progressing well enough and the style is on point.There really isn't aynthing to critic here, especially with everything is still early on! So both 5/5 for Style and Story

Character - Character-wise Martin seems like a level headed person with some detail put to him, but I can't help but feel like he comes off as bland at times, the same goes for the other characters. It feels they are just being used to tell the plot and setting and not actually living in it at all, but that's nothing a bit of editing and more chapters can fix and make more expressive characters.

TL;DR - While this story is definitely new and on the shorter end of chapter amount, it still is a worth while read to check out if you want a new story to pick up. I am interested to see how things progress.

noodle the noodle
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Great idea, mediocre execution

Reviewed at: Chapter 9

I absolutely love the idea behind this story, and I've been enjoying how it progresses, but it just jumps from idea to idea with little to no transition. Small grammar errors, characters aren't super well developed. Sure, they aren't paper thin, but they don't have enough depth to interest you. Other than these issues though, it's a great story. Original idea, original execution. I look forward to the rest.