Villager Three

by Kruos

Original ONGOING Adventure Drama Fantasy Female Lead LitRPG Magic School Life Secret Identity Slice of Life Strong Lead

[Full realm assimilation will be completed in a few million years give or take and then the Gates will stop appearing, use them while you can. The next War of the Gods is scheduled to start in about 15 billion years, practice hard until then.]
[See ya around!]
With that simple farewell, the world changed forever.

Kira Hawthorne was just another teenage girl until the day a 'god' told the world their 'realm' was getting assimilated since they lost some War no one on Earth even knew about.

Science is replaced with magic, a System is installed on the whim of a very old and capricious god, and one teenage girl embarks on a journey in a once familiar world turned foreign... And very hostile.

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Kruos

Kruos

Eldritch Shenanigan

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FlitterPuff
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Medicine for the Soul

Reviewed at: Enrollment

Let's not beat around the bush on this one. (I worry the bush might hit back.) This story is good. I've needed a story like this for a bit now. So far it's been funny, cute, light-hearted, and plain good for the soul. 

I skipped by this story quite a few times before I gave it a chance. I've tried to read a few stories with similar settings in the past. Magic has been introduced to the word! There's a 'system' now. What will people do? Until now, the stuff I've read in the genre has only disappointed me. I generally only managed to get through a few chapters because I just ended up bored. Maybe I just haven't stumbled on a good one until now, but in these stories, the characters haven't interested me, the settings felt like generic boring versions of our world with not a lot going on except a magical 'system' thrown in, and the writing just wasn't the greatest. 

I suppose part of that is intentional. There's a bit of an audience for stories about boring characters with dull boring lives who somehow become interesting/awesome when magic gets thrown into the world. But that's not for me. It's not that hard to write interesting modern fiction imo, but these stories don't often care about that part, instead just focusing on the magic/system/litrpg aspect. I enjoy the gamelit genre, but personally, I need more to a story than well-thought-out bluescreens and talk of how the MC is gonna increase their stats. (And please gods, no more 'lone wolf' characters who basically never interact with other characters.) A problem I encountered with my most recent attempt at reading one of these stories was one that plenty of other stories fall into as well: telling rather than showing. 

This story does none of this. It skips over the three-chapter-long examination of the status screen and the clumsy (and generally boring) learning how to fight and use skills and such. I've seen all that before, far too many times now, and the story is tons better for leaving that sort of thing out. In fact, the story cuts out a lot of the needless filler that so many stories of the genre fall prey to. It gets right to the meat of things (the actual story, for instance.) You can tell the author has put thought into what is important to put in the story and what bits can be left out. (I wish I could say the same about my reviews! =p) This leaves the story to be quite well polished, not loitering on needless info or filler, and giving a smooth enjoyable experience leaving me only wanting more and more. 

Thus far, I've loved the characters of this story. They all have struggles they're dealing with. The main character, Kira, is cute, not because she is described as cute or because other characters say she is cute, but because of the things she does and the ways she interacts with people. There have been a few sad and serious moments already as of chapter 7, but mostly things have been light-hearted and have me more prone to chuckling than anything else. The author lets us in on quite a bit of information that Kira doesn't know, and we can tell she's going to land in quite a bit of trouble in the future. Or as one character put it: "This is gonna get messy." 

The setting itself has ended up surprisingly very different from most stories in the genre. I really didn't expect it, but it was a very welcome surprise. I won't spoil how. You'll have to find out yourself. As of the seventh chapter, the plot is still coming together. We have an idea of who some of the antagonists might be, or at least who they're associated with, but whatever grand moves they're making is happening in the background. I'm eager to find out how things progress. 

Do I need to say anything else here? I certainly don't think so. Give this story a try, even if you're like me and haven't liked similar stories. You'll just have to trust me that this one is different. As I said in the title, this story has really been medicine for the soul for me, and I really can't wait for more. 

(Also, if you end up liking this, check out Kruos's other story Villainous. I read that one first and enjoyed it as well.) 

EternalLight
  • Overall Score

Lighthearted fun, with occasional seriousness

Reviewed at: Remembrance

You know the anime story where the MC is a OP, silly, lovable goof with about two brain cells? But with friends who helps her along and she makes everything work out somehow? This is it in writing form and you'll either like it or not.

I don't, but don't mind me, plenty of people here will tell you it's the best thing written.

Ondine
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Entertaining, but...

Reviewed at: #13: Bureaucracy

Not a bad story. It's enjoyable to read, the writing style is passable, and the worldbuilding is intriguing. Problem is, the characters are flat and the internal logic of the story is "flexible" at best.

One instance of this occurs in "Bureaucracy," when Kira's new combat master immediately figures out that Kira (the MC) is human when she sees her attempt a dungeon. When she calls the archmage headmaster of the academy (Kira's sort-of guardian) to ask about it, he immediately admits this is true and reveals Kira's entire backstory. This man is supposedly a high ranking member of the city, one who makes major decisions, works as an administrator, etc., but somehow he lacks the foresight and decision-making skills to miss this possibility?! 

It has been stated repeatedly that Kira's unique position is a fragile one, and that future fallout is almost inevitable. That said, the supposedly intelligent public figure takes no action to mitigate damage. For instance, Kira is a 14 year old child. Who is in charge of her? Can he take steps to get her emancipated? Can he become a sort of psuedo guardian for her? Does he need to collect evidence of her wellbeing at this school? Does she fall under a special category of protected persons? Does her situation even have a legal precedent, and if so, how did it turn out? What legal steps can be taken to strengthen his stance? And if he either thinks that legal options are too limited, or if he needs to buy some time, his first steps need to be information control, yes? Concealing her status is a start, but it seems like he just left it at that! 

The spread of information needs to restricted. Cost-benefit analysis needs to be done. If Kira's inherent traits make her humanity obvious after a single day of fighting monsters (+ only a week of training), how is he planning on keeping everything under wraps long-term when she needs to fight for classes and tournaments? Is the trainer somehow so uniquely qualified to recognise Kira's humanity that other experienced teachers at an elite school won't be able to catch on? If so, how did he expect her to just write the whole thing off? Instead of recognising the probability of Kira being found out by her teacher (because of the amount of information on and close contact she has with Kira), he decides to keep it hidden. And then caves at the slightest prompting. It doesn't make sense.

If anonymity is meant to be a protection, why give her such a flashy scholarship? Why broadcast her privileges to the entire campus? In fact, why put her in a school at all if you can offer her a discrete apprenticeship (at least to start out) that would keep her away from public knowledge. She doesn't even know what average stats would be, so how is she supposed to blend in?!

You may think that I'm knitpicking, but little inconsistencies pop up everywhere, and it really takes me out of the story. The first person who finds Kira immediately tosses out her suspicions to mother Kira despite having a supposedly harrowing backstory filled with betrayal? And she immediately latches onto/makes Kira's wellbeing her priority just because she is a #goodperson? Ok... 

It's the logic and the characters who make a story believable, and this story's gaffes are too much to overlook despite the fun premise.

Quantum_Mechanic
  • Overall Score

Another author we need to shackle to the writing desk.

Reviewed at: Repression

Binged all night. 

I'll let other reviewers do the detailed advanced thing.

I  ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶  need more.

naralian
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Has issues nailing down the tone

Reviewed at: #15: Remembrance

Solid concept for a comedy story with the occasional hard left turn into black comedy, for the most part.

Then, abruptly, the author's attention wanders, or the coffee runs out or something, and for a chapter we're inundated with chapters that are blacker than pitch, played for hard melodrama, and perfectly spherical because that's the only way to create a shape that's 100% EDGE.

By no means a deal breaker (note the four stars) but there needs to be a bit of examination of what the author is actually going for to hammer this into something really great.

Or not, I guess. There's room for casual projects that people write just to vent ideas and the intro seems to imply this is one of them. Either way, be VERY strongly warned that any review using the word 'lighthearted' or the phrase 'balm for the soul' was posted pretty early in the story (like 5-6 chapters in, probably).

king_s
  • Overall Score

It’s ok. Not bad, but not great either. Light hearted fun.

Reviewed at: #12: Safirite

Nothing life changing. It's just passable. Not sure what all the rave reviews are for. It's not heart warming at all, just a light hearted story that some would find fun 2.5/5 because while it's ok, it's not amazing at all. It barely teeters on good. Lots of tropes and unimaginative story elements, characters are decent. the setup was very good though, but the real world is bland. Nothing really stands out. Every thing else is "just Ok"

Zethuron
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A Wonderful Story, an Emotional Read

Reviewed at: #15: Remembrance

Okay, this story is just something special, its the kind of story i never knew i actually wanted to read before, but now that i have, i can say its absolutely one of my favorites now, especially with how well written it is and how enjoyable and relaxing it is to just read it all even if there are those depressing moments with the traumas of the MC's past.

And trust me, ignore the weird title for this story and especially dont drop the story because of the first chapter, that is just the prologue essentially and the true story starts after that, and its worth it! Also i highly recommend to just start reading the story right now instead of reading this review.

Spoiler: little bit of setting spoilers,

 

I have to say that i just LOVE Kira as a character, even beyond her childish nature and how she interacts with the world, which is just so enjoyable and heartwarming to see, but behind that hides something else, she didnt have it easy, first her childhood, where things happened that a child should never go through, which was a constant hell until she finally found a place in the world where she was accepted just as she was, instead of being Nobody and then learning that all of them along with the world went away like that, grinded by the ceaseless advance of Time. And this realization has hurt her hard, but despite this, she still goes on, to live her life to the fullest in this changed world, she will not back down from something given her past and thus is actually an rather strong character. She may appear quite clueless, though part of that is due to the communication issues that happen early on, i honestly hope she doenst lose her nature in a harsh way, she is just tooo sacred, even when angry.

Oh and to those saying she does not act like she is 14, she has been heavily traumatized multiple times in her life, of which the source is shown in the Repression chapter with her childhood trauma from having had a childhood without anyone to support her, parents that would not even support her or see her as an human being, with being bullied on top of that, until she finally found a place in the world with the Hawthornes. And theres also the additional trauma of losing her adopted family in such a harsh way, who were the ones to drag her out of the nightmare that was her childhood, all because she did not break out of the fog spell on the Gate until it was far toooo late. Those experiences, have really shaped and changed her, she still is a child, but one with severe traumas that can change the way someone acts.


The characterization in this story is real strong, and honestly one of its best points. And as said, Kira is the best example of that, and one of the best i ever seen among webfiction. This is also one of the very few times, if any that i have ever seen an author write about traumas and such, i understand why that generally does not happen, as it is real hard to write it accurately, if one does not have any knowledge about that topic.

 

I have questions about how the plot will develop from here on, there are big things moving in the background, to which Kira is luckily still oblivious to. I cant see the story staying in an academy like arc for a long time, im not sure if that would be good at all in the long term. But i have faith in the author that she will write it well. Especially given that it has avoided SO many of the general tropes that can drag down a story, it leaves all of those out, and actually goes on with the story instead of going forward in a slog.

 

Grammar is overall flawless, i dont think i have seen a single error, didnt stumble over any odd sentences or paragraphs either, so good job on that author!

The writing is just so good to read, it flows well throughout the story, aside from viewpoint switches, which  feel abrupt at times, but beyond that i dont have any complaints with the style used for this story! The general tone of the story also fits, most of the time its just lighthearted, but at times, there are hints of big things bound to happen, all because of Kira, even when this story gets dark, it does it in a near seamless way and switches as easily back to the usual tone.

If theres one main complaint i have, it is that there are simply not enough chapters, and that thus my reading experience got interrupted by that! This is something i demand to be corrected fast! So get on with it!
(though honestly, dont rush yourself, since you have other stories going on at once, including your webcomic. Having more content would be welcome, but health and such comes first!)

If you are still reading this review, then stop now, go click the either the first chapter link, or the start reading button, do not hold off reading this story, its too good to not read.

Hell i would recommend it to about anyone, but especially those seeking for something new and different from those usual litrpg stories.

Mammonn
  • Overall Score
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So, before we start; the title and first chapter mean pretty much nothing to the story. The character is very much a protagonist and an OP one at that. This is not the tale of a lowly NPC caught in the stories of others.

Not a big issue, though. That part, though an odd choice for the story's title, is short and never pretended later to be the focus of the story at all, so let us brush past it and not speak of this again.

Also something to brush past; proper English and though simple the story has a good enough plot to motivate the characters for the time being. Nothing exemplary yet, though the lack of seeing much of anything innovative or interesting in the worldbuilding yet has made me give it a low style score.

On to the meat of the review and the reason I almost but can't really recommend this tale for people. Yet, maybe in some more chapters it rebounds but for now I'd say nah.

 

The story itself started really good and cutesy. Though quickly becoming rather apparent that it has an OP protagonist, I still had fun imagining that people were seeing complex mathematical equations when they looked at her stats. And had I read it with the last two or three chapters not released I'd probably like it enough for a recommendation and the Character score to be a lot better. But the last few chapters added a more serious tone to the story, and it just clashed.

This is not about the topics, content or delivery of these darker themes themselves. They were just delivered rather poorly and with a stark contrast to the rest of the tale that didn't mix. A cutesy interaction with a dog girl, then Marty Sue levels of determination to keep training, and then the waterworks. All in a couple of chapters, and it just didn't mesh together rather than making the protagonist feel all over the place or even multiple characters with the same name. And during the depressing parts, she jumped out of it back to a more impulsive happy girl and back on occassion.

The character's mood swings were jarring rather than touching, and the descriptions too often fell flat because it painted an image that didn't match the character we knew or were blazed past too quickly. The quirky story with sneezing dragons, easily complimented automatrons and blushing doggos worked. But the moment it tried to be more serious, rather than staying in the less serious children's story that can forgive illogical character actions because it's a children's story, it fell apart.

I know that the author is writing cathardic about real-life experiences, so I'm not saying that the dark stuff is inaccurate or unrealistic. But unfortunately, it's not that well-written and drags the story down with it. I'd advice her to either tone it down or make it a lot more subtle, because that picture of the 1123 days was worth a thousand words and went perfectly with the story, but what came afterwards made me skip through the story not reading entire paragraphs due to boredom.

Oh, and maybe try to tone down the OPness a little. She can be OP with the things she earned by the, let's call it cryofreeze training arc, but every once in a while she's OP in the wrong way, like levelling 5 levels in a skill overnight or having pin-point precision with everything just cause skill.

wayfarer
  • Overall Score
  1. Typical HFY story, but weird forceful ways to put the MC in disadvantageous situations. How is a sponsored student in the worst class? If all geomancers can see the future skill tree why do they all change it but the mc? Like as if only the mc is smart enough after hundreds of thousands of years. 

 

Generally a light read not to be taken too seriously

Kevmo
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This story is good. Really good. It takes the common trope of an apocalyptic System coming to Earth and puts a completely new spin on it.

The story is, on the surface, a fairly lighthearted slice of life adventure. There are undercurrents hinting towards future conflict and tension, but so far everything is mostly just a bit of fun. Some chapters may induce some tears. Not me though. Nope, I totally didn't cry.

Anyway, stop reading reviews and read the story!