Couple That Can't Touch

by Sosin

Araki Koji is the new seventeen-year-old student in Kasen High School. Recently transferred from his previous school, he wishes to escape from the wealthy falsehood. However, his plans take an unexpected twist after meeting with Kozue Suzuka, another seventeen-year-old student whose body swaps with his after they touch. Now, they must find a solution while not making people think they are crazy, but they can't do it alone. Friendship will grow and so will love, but how will they stay together if they can't touch?


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Sosin

Sosin

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LittleCreepy
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Hippity hoppity your body is my property.

Reviewed at: #8: Love Hunt II

The Premise is interesting enough. Who didn’t ask themselves at one point what it would be from the other perspective? So far, well executed.

You definitely don’t have a problem writing dialogue. An area you could improve though is descriptions. They would help orient the reader and clue us in what the People, Places or Objects look like. I still don’t know how the MC´s look like.

A bit of work to the scene changes would also be appreciated, as they can come in quite abrupt.

I do like the Character dynamic. Both have room to grow, as well as their own dreams and problems. Their family situation seem interesting and the romance builds up gradually, without dragging on too long. Looks like we get to see something more than the usual will-they-won´t-they. Nice!

There are a few Grammatic errors here and there. But all in all, it is readable and enjoyable.

Points get docked for Style though, as everything is written as a single line Paragraph. Add a few more descriptions and you are golden.