Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Psychological Dungeon LitRPG Male Lead Post Apocalyptic Reincarnation
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The apocalypse was not kind to humanity. The survivors of the system's arrival banded together as they could, but the harshness of the new reality they faced whittled away at their numbers. A decade later, only a few humans remained, holed up in the last stronghold left. Frank was one of them, his survival as much luck as it was ability. As the final assault broke through their defenses, he felt the end approach. He accepted his death, only to wake up at the beginning. Can he change his fate? The fate of his species?

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LeeSinToYourHeart

LeeSinToYourHeart

Vomiter of Words

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CashireCat
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Read up to chapter 34.

 

The story is nothing new, Earth undergoes Apocalypse, humanity looses and a random dude gets brought back in time.

There is not exactly anything else I can say about the story, there is nothing bad or very good about it.

 

The characters are quite bad.

The Main Character was one of the last humans and when he came back in time he is very easily ambushed by an common Goblin and then on even has to vomit because he killed an monster. Not something I would expect from an hardened Veteran.

Then he finds people and out of some reason he has the urge to help crazy people although they donĀ“t bring him anything and for those he even sacrifices his one and only health potion.

Furthermore he is telling a group of people that he is an time traveller after like 10 minutes they know each other.

 

And the worst is that there is no clear goal for the MC. He has no apparent motivation to build an Guild to fight for humanity, to find some hidden legendary items or to kill people that might harm humanity.

There is just no goal whatsover.

 

I would say the story is okay if you can overlook the lack of direction.

 

BansheePanda
  • Overall Score

I normally enjoy this genre, but this has been a tedious read. Earlier chapter dialogues are confusing, sometimes clunky and unwieldy. Too many battle scenes, even though well written, had me skimming a lot of chapters.

Having a directionless main character isn't bad per se, but I find his constant introspection annoying. I came in expecting a survival story with a pragmatic hero, but found a whiny and confused child. Unless the author is going to lean heavily on stats affecting thoughts and personality, the shift from apathetic soldier to erratic do-gooder is completely inconsistent with early chapter world building and characterization.

All in all, a decent story lacking in focus and consistent characterization. Ok if you're looking for a time killer but not something I'm personally invested in continuing to follow.

Michael Glen Clark
  • Overall Score

Having a hard time moving forward, dislike the gloomy undecided main character.

Reviewed at: Chapter Forty Two

I keep reading an episode or two and it feels like work. I don't like any of the characters, they have no personality except the crazy guy. The game mechanics seem very 'meh'. The MC states that "all the characteristics are pretty much the same, just take what gives you the most". Really? Str vs Dex vs Int doesn't matter at all? And there seems to be nothing special. He's an "assassin" because it gave 4 points a level, and it has nothing else. I know that in many Litrpg the MC starts as a putz and gets better. Zero to Hero, Hercules style. But this guy did that, and now has come back, has all this fighting ability, knows the system...and yet is still acting like a scared putz who takes no chances and is having trouble progressing. 

For a first attempt at writing, it's fine. I think some of the reviews get it right, and many others are just "trying to be nice" and over rate it as seems usual.

Shades98
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New Author, enjoyable read

Reviewed at: Chapter Forty One

A different view on a story that has been told. But still a good read and we need people who are trying to do something different.  This is a new look at that a story where MC isn't the only one who is a time traveller, and with a new view that the system is messing with the MC. 

Yes, it has some issues that a good edit/editor would fix, but sometimes it is good to see that the author is writting a story where the MC is confused and you can see that in some of the dialog/description. Though I do have a couple of questions about how certain people made it through the Tutorial and yet others who are more experienced didn't.

Keep up the good work

some_total_kretin
  • Overall Score

TL;DR: It's the standard royal road premise type 2, file A) section 31 - System apocalypse with dungeons as RElived by a Canadian. I swear there must be a shortcut in Word that generates the premise and prepares the character archetypes for you.

There is a lot of emphasis on character interactions and the fight scenes are amazing. They are not over the top anime fights but well grounded in reality and described just enough so you can imagine every important action as it happens.

The characters are okay, but my gripe might be with the possible existence of other time travellers. It's not a gripe yet, but a potential red flag, author's handling of which will decide the whole fate of the story. The knife edge that it will either balance on or be gutted by, if you will.

I have seen several badly handled examples of time travelling stories, so when the author started actually using the trope of waking up in your younger body otherwise then just for the purpose of "I'm here through phenomenal cosmic luck",  specifically to "There's something going on with the system and there are probably more of us", I seriously considered whether to keep reading.

This stuff requires delicate balance and has a possibility of turning everthing to utter garbage. Look at Carn online: Second chances if you want to see an example of gutting and Mother of learning for well executed one.

sandro530
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This story is pretty good, it has a good system, a world which is building itself into shape and a fine MC.

But it has some problems, as is natural. The biggest reason for that is the author I think, he is a beginner and thus hasn't got much experience with writting, to be honest there isn't much wrong with the story, on the contrary it is quite good and enjoyable. But there are two points which I really don't like.

I think the author, for whatever reason doesn't read all comments anymore, should be because there are getting more and more readers and it gets impossible to read them all. But in the 3rd chapter the MC vomits because of the moral, of killing a monster. In the comments they said, that it was total bullshit and not very realistic as the MC should have years of experience of doing that, which I totally agree upon.

While just one sentence, this already made me change my mind of this getting into the top 50 list. Though it wouldn't be improbable for this story to manage the top 200 or even 100.

Another big point is THE NAMES. I get the intent of the author, to not confuse its readers or make it easier to remember the names by only providing a one word name. But this is SO unnatural. I don't know whether it is just me or other readers think so too. But in a world where the apocalypse hasn't even be seen, as anything but a dream, it is highly strange to introduce oneself with only his first name, or even having only a one word name. The biggest reason why I think so, is because Frank doesn't have a second name, not even in his status screen, and I thus think that the others only have one name either. In a world with only a hundred people left it may be more practical but on earth with millions of people it is very strange.

Sorry if I ranted about these 2 minor points, but they really set me off. While this review may seem negative, I did enjoy the story very much and also like the MC and the world, but I wouldn't be able to continue reading without pointing out these two things.

Edit: Chapter Seventeen YES a second name, hurray, still the status should mention such thing shouldn't it? As it isn't customizable there should be the birth name in the status window, so either speak why there isn't the second name in the status, or edit please.

FleetingClouds
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Good start for a Rookie, Move forward and progress!

Reviewed at: Chapter Thirty Seven

I want to make this quick, writing on the iPad isn't fun. I will give you some slack, I also like to write as a hobby lol. Judging writing from a readers perspective is totally different than from a writers perspective (like when you write stuff yourself) that's why a third persons review can be helpful. 

I think your strong point are your fighting scenes, they are way more detailed than I know from other stories. It doesn't make them better to others, it will depend on how you can leverage it. I mean if you write every single skirmish or little conflict very detailed then it gets boring for some readers (I skip sometimes paragraphs sry haha).

This is also the reason why your dungeon arc got too long I think, though I believe you realised the importance of summaries or short cutting less important scenes I hope at least. Otherwise progress gets cut short and MC may never arrive at Seattle lol.

I have to disagree with the person claiming your story was generic or had nothing special. I liked the direction you took with multiple TTs and that MC himself isn't perfect and needs to find his inner MC first before saving the world and humanity ;)

I hope MC can help empower humanity somehow, otherwise humanity's outlook is very bleak from the way you described it. It feels very depressing haha. Like even MC doesn't how to save humanity, so where does this story go ? So I am not a fan of stories without hope. *looking at you Walking Dead* cough

Also, some might like that MC doesn't really on plot armour or special cheats, but even though MC has future knowledge and is a bit overleveled compared to 99 percent of humanity, he seeems way to bland for my taste. He doesn't have anything or any aura that reeks of specialness. Is he is still an MC then? If this is your point, then I would still recommend some area where MC manages to excel. Charisma, leadership, communication, discerning talents whatever. Right now he feels too normal for my taste. He could also be emotional about his parents, have a drive to save the world whatever. Just make worthy of being the MC

Bill was a bit interesting, now I am not sure where he is going. Will he become another random faceless sidekick after he faced reality? 
will rina get a character arc? Of course these things will take time and planning. 

This is your first novel right? I would encourage you to continue! And try to put more focus on genre. Right now I am not sure if you focus on the mystery aspects, or drama or fantasy. It does have rpgs elements and action adventure vibe. But the stakes aren't high at the moment I think which is why suspense isn't at its highest levels.

 

What I can recommend is too use MCs future knowledge more, he should have knowledge about the political climate, and power plays and major events that concern humanities survival. It's classic but it helps stir the plot in good direction. By introducing different powerful groups MC can contrast himself from them.

berkay onay
  • Overall Score

this guy ain't the best writer out there but he is tallented. he has quite a style. even though he is unexperienced if he goes on he can write some good stuff. also one of the best aspect about this guy is he has great understanding over realistic mediavel fights. the weapons, forms, styles are really detailed. unlike in other novels or TV shows where fights are just simply hit each other till one of them dies . this guy makes some real fights scenes. and if you into highly realistic fights. in an fantasy world this novel is for you. but other than fight scenes... well, it is above average but like i said not the best.

Nomad1791
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Pretty good worth reading so far

Reviewed at: Chapter Thirty Three

Picked it up today up to chapter 33. Mc is solid and story is easy to read, always been a sucker for time traveling stuff. World feels solid and so far pretty hashed out. I'm enjoying it and will update when I read more. 

t2o
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well, it's a good premise and most of his (M.C.s) actions are well explained.

But,

we don't know if the stat improvements are linear or exponential. so we have no idea what difference  10 stability makes compared to 20...

the fight scenes are needlessly looooooo.......ong, like i can skip paragraphs and still follow the story, and I have. 

here's something I'd say, if we already know the enemy, and have fought against them, don't DO NOT describe/write the fight scene with, extraordinary details.

if an environmental aspect or detail is not crucial for the story or the following scene, DO NOT describe it (well you can, if you manage to do it within 2 lines)

and 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Here's the most annoying part of the story, the first dungeon delve.

"F"ing NOTHING HAPPENS THERE!!!!!!!!

well, some plot significant and character significant events take place, but that's just 10% of the entire thing. the rest of it is bullshit.

i loved the fight against the first monster, and i felt okay about the second. but for some reason as the fight scenes kept happening i kept losing interest. and by the time we reached the first-floor boss, i skipped the entire fight and jumped to the death notification.

I think it's because the fight scenes are too f-king long. unless the mc is about to use some new skill, or the party is about to do something interesting, or unless someone's about to die, there is no need for the scenes to be solo long when we are reading about a fight against a familiar enemy or a fight in a setting we are familiar with.

it is way too descriptive for 2 ppl, (1 guy & 1 monster) thwacking each other with metal sticks. 

***

and MC being a bit bland and suffering from PTSD & stat change is perfectly fine, but if you are going to keep him that way, make him highly competent or give him some special skill/niche or make his character/ personality a bit more unique, just something to remind us now and then that he is the MC for a reason (other than him being a time traveler).

Because, him being the MC is the only thing keeping me from losing interest in him, and it's a really really bad thing 4 a story when a doomsday prepping conspiracy theorist is as interesting & entertaining as the MC.

***

p.s. make sure that M.C's actions have consequences. like him blurting out that he is a time traveler to a bunch of strangers when there are other time travelers around, is the stupidest thing one could do. but, having a stupid M.C. is not bad. but having a stupid M.C.who doesn't face the consequences of his actions is really REALLY bad (for both the story and the author's skills.) 

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other than that, pretty much everything else is good for a first-time hobbyist author.

Highly recommend!