Life of a Grimoire
by Angry Spider
Being a book is not a great experience.
Can I see? No, I don't have eyes.
Can I touch anything? No, I don't have limbs.
With any luck, someone will pick me up and read me, at least.
Hopefully sooner than later...
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Good book in a good book. Good nonhuman mc - might not be your thing if you don't like fourth (3 1/2? idk) wall breaks but I do so 5 stars
Its an interesting book to read and don't worry about the half star its a good book.
First things first, it's a system story. Second, it's a very 4th wall-breaking story and is so on purpose (read the first chapter, it continues in that way afaik). This isn't a negative, and it is after all tagged with comedy :)
Still makes it so that it ain't my cup of tea.
Stylistically grammar wise etc. I don't have anything negative to say as Angry Spider clearly knows a thing or two about how to actually write stuff.
Character-wise, I don't feel they're particularly interesting. Also, the 4th wall breaking interrupting the MC's thoughts stops me from finding him interesting. Michael writes they go from superficial to deeper though, so they're probably quite good later on
All in all, I recommend it if you like the style of the first chapter.
It seems that the "rewind" mechanic was used more in the beginning than later on. And the beginning chapters might be revisited to trim down the usage of it. These two factors hopefully combine so my "read the first chapter for a style-taste" point is still as relevant :)
Okay 5 Stars, love it so far, but the brutally honest breakdown:
Style- Honestly I love it, there were multiple things that people found to be unnecessary, and those have been changed (for the most part but we'll get to that later)
Grammar- There are a few mistakes here and there, but most of them are pointed out in the comments and fixed shortly there after
Story- I liked how it started, I like were it's going, but a few of the chapters felt like filler that was honestly mostly banter between two characters making it seem like the author wasn't sure where they were going as they had little to no plot relevance other than exploring previously shown tension between bantering characters. This being said, the author now seems to be back on track with where they want to go.
Character- Many and most of the characters are amazing and seem to be well though out, but there are a few examples where characters seem out of character, and some where I find certain characters that, while likeable, seemed to have a detrimental effect of the progression of the plot resulting in the afforementioned "filler chapters". Most of these situations have been rectified through various means such as decreasing character screen time (for the second time, because as far as I know the universe was the very system that people disliked that had their screen time limited in the first place) or building of characters in different ways.
Overall- I like this book and would probably at some point in the future recommend this book to people, but I think for now (next couple chapters) I think I'd need to make sure the plot progression was continuously there (and if plot progresstion isn't there, character development or worldbuilding probably should be). This is not to say that I dislike the occasional filler episode, but it should be just that, occasional. (as you can probably tell, my main problem with this so far is that the character that the author said they removed came back (albeit in a different form) a chapter or two later in much greater quantities, reducing the plot growth for 3-5 chapters, but once again this has been amended, and the character's current screen time seems to be worldbuilding and character development (that is hopefully not just codex telling the universe it's shit, and the universe telling codex that it knows, and can do decidedly little when it comes to worldbuilding))
Edit: As of now, I would most definitely recommend it to people and can say that it is great
And as to the title's meaning, the title can only be 50 characters, so why can we type 80?
To be perfectly honest, you're way too hard on yourself. It's a pretty epic story and if you enjoy writing it, then you can't go wrong. Keep up the good work!
The style of your writing is nice, I think the fourth wall breaks, although plentiful, are really just fine.
The only problems I had with the story is that there isn't enough to satisfy my binge cravings.
Grammar... where do I even begin? I find stories with horrendous grammar and omitted words on occasion, and I'm very glad to say that you have done very well avoiding either of these things. Good Job!
Finally character, which right away I must say is rather nice. The interactions between characters are fun, and overall everything therein is quite... astounding.
Overall: Great job. I must say I find myself enjoying this story quite a bit. Continue onwards.
The story is a good one, it just need proper formatting and reasons to make it more believable.
It start with a sapient being trapped in a 'Grimoire' until some random kid bought the book. Then after that it keeps jumping from here to there. Furthermore, the comedy part are visible at ch1 & 2, the rest is just weird, awkward and a bit off. And it's not funny y'know.
For the MC's character, at start I thought he was atleast 30+ based on his intelligence but I was wrong. Anyone can tell based on the MC's decisions, goals and response. There's so many flaws in the story that needs to be fixed ASAP.
Only five chapters in and I'm running into problems. To start off, the humor doesn't work; it's not funny, or comedic so you can strike that genre off the table. Our protagonist is what is called a 'living book' and the story starts off with him stuck in a library idling around. After he gets purchased by the female lead, we get to see her suspicious dad interrogate the book, threaten, and attempt to destroy it out of biases the character has which the reader has never been introduced to before this scene. So rather than worldbuilding, interesting dialogue, fun antics, we start with interrogation of the protagonist.
So you have to ask, why does the reader care about a story that's not funny and starts with this long interrogation scene as it's first meaningful character interaction? This is a red flag for a story to have early on and I expect futher character interactions are stilted and cringe like this one.
Here's a few spoilered extracts on some of awful dialogue I'm refering to:
Isaac and Lola both were staring at him expectantly. "Well?" Chris sighed again and put what was left of the potion back in his jacket. "I'm not going to sugarcoat this, all right? But you can't go ballistic." Isaac tensed in spite of himself. "What is it?" Indicating the grimoire lying on the table, Chris said bluntly, "That right there is a Living Book."
His brother stood up abruptly, ugly red magic rushing to his hands. "Is it-" Chris stood quickly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Isaac. I know you had a bad experience with the Compendium, but this thing doesn't have a bad spell in it. Matter of fact, I'd say it hasn't been alive for very long at all."
"Good, you can hear me. What I'm going to need you to is respond, all right? The only thing you can move is your eye, but we can work with that no problem. Yes is one blink, no is two. Easy, eh?" The book blinked once and Isaac jumped forwards, placing a hand firmly on the grimoire. "Listen carefully. Do you have any plans regarding my daughter?" "Dad!" Lola cried in annoyance. He turned to her unapologetically. "Daddy's go to be sure, honey." He spun back to the book in time to see it very deliberately blink twice.
Chris cut in before Isaac could interrogate the book any further. "Have you been alive for longer than a month?" Two blinks. "A week?" Two blinks again. "...Today?" A single, quick blink.
Isaac briefly considered taking Lola and leaving the country, and the book, and going as far away from both of them as he could. "How do we know it's not lying? With an intelligence stat like that, it could be messing with your Appraisal spell!" Chris chuckled quietly. "Appraisal isn't just one spell. It's a series of stacking several different detection and magic enhancing spells on top of one another, and even with the assistance of a grimoire, it's pretty complicated. You could mess up really easily if you don't have my kind of experience, but I do have my experience to go off of, and I can confidently guarantee you that the only thing in existence that can block my Appraisal method is the Magelord crown." He said it with assuring certainty, and then ruined it slightly by adding, "Well, and maybe something made by Noah Cosmic, but that sort of thing is rare beyond belief. You'd have better odds of winning the Braxton tournament blindfolded."
This is as far as I can make it. The unbroken dialogue is confusing, unclear, and frustrating as hell to try amd read.
Lots of telling and not enough showing.
Universe correcting things is a weird and annoying "mechanic"
The story is just getting into its meat -- it looks like the main setting for the arc has been introduced and the immediate conflicts are showing up. We're still learning about the two main characters, but it's entertaining to learn about the world
The system's interruptions can be a bit jarring, but they've come to serve as a way to introduce informaiton about the state of the world and serve to show the progress of the long-term antagonist.
I look forward to seeing how things develop.
english isn't exactly my language so pardon me...
Another interesting take on the whole isekai-ish genre of living objects, while it's fun to see how the book in this book interacts with the new world and the writing is good with almost no grammar errors , i think it lacks simpathy for the characters, their introduction is decent but all of them feel like side-characters to me.
Another thing i'd like to point out is the constant alternating between point of views, while it's good to do that once in a while to develop other characters and expand the world, doing that too frequently can confuse people and sometimes made me question who was the main character.
With that out of the way, i think it's good read if you're just looking for something interesting and it's fun to see how the author interacts with the comments and feedback, a little bit too much of fourth wall breaking though.