Parasite King

Parasite King

by Osamaru Ta

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

Say what you will about the End of the World, but it makes for some great TV. When a Monster Apocalypse descends suddenly on an unexpecting Earth, Jonah finds himself the first victim of a sick and twisted gameshow.

As the table of the world is flipped and the lines redrawn for the amusement of their new alien overlords, Jonah finds himself trapped in the literal Belly of the Beast. And if he wishes to not only survive, but thrive, he'll find that cost might be more than he's willing to pay. As Jonah grows both in power and purpose, he'll have to ask himself if Revenge is really worth his Humanity.

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"What are you willing to do to survive? What are you willing to Become?

Jonah never really gave much thought to these kinds of things. He was just your average everyday young man, doing what he can to make it in the world. Unfortunately for Him, the world he knows is about to end. And he's the First Victim.

When Earth gets pulled into an intergalactic game show, hosted and ran for the entertainment of a Sadistic, super-advanced Alien race, all sorts of "Monsters" begin to spawn on Earth.

By a twist of fate, when a Gargantuan Snake spawns in the middle of his room and swallows him whole, Jonah becomes the first casualty of this sick game.

But Fate is not done with Jonah yet. For what fun is a Game without a fighting Chance? The question is, however, what price will he be willing to pay? "

[NOTE: I don't own cover art, just something I've found till I can commision my own]

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Author
Osamaru Ta

Osamaru Ta

Innocent Puppy, doesn't know what he's doing.

Achievements
Word Count (12)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue: Enough Meat to build a Bicycle! ago
Book 1 – Chapter 1: The end of one Game and the start of another…. ago
Book 1 – Chapter 2: Fighting chance ago
Book 1 – Chapter 3: Breathing room. ago
Cosmic Dreams 1: Cast your Anchor…. ago
Book 1 – Chapter 4: …Lest you drift away ago
Book 1 – Chapter 5: Day 23 , Proper etiquette on how to 'meat' your guests. (part 1) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 6: Day 23 , Proper etiquette on how to ‘meat’ your guests. (part 2) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 7: The tangled threads of Fate – Ms. Bella ago
Book 1 – Chapter 8: The tangled threads of Fate – Bobo ago
Book 1 – Chapter 9: Step one, attach monster worm leg A to carved port B. ago
Book 1 – Chapter 10: A Hitchhiker’s guide to Laniakea (part 1) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 11: A Hitchhiker’s guide to Laniakea (part 2) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 12: “WORRY NOT CITIZEN! THE HEROES HAVE ARRIVED!” ago
Book 1 – Chapter 13: A “Star” is born. ago
PSYCH!! Its just a Poll! ago
Book 1 – Chapter 14: News from the Other Side ago
Book 1 – Chapter 15: Determination and Attunement ago
Book 1 – Chapter 16: ♪♪ The night’s not over yet, The party’s just begun. ♪♪ ago
Book 1 – Chapter 17: Links in the Chain ago
Book 1 – Chapter 18: What does it cost to cut Fate’s string? ago
UPDATE (not a Chapter) ago
/o/ I start my new Job on the 31st! + Planned release for next chapter + Preview for next Chapter ago
Book 1 – Chapter 19: “The Value of Time” ago
Check-up 1: “I reject your reality, and Substitute my own!” ago
Book 1: Chapter 20 – “Veggie Tales” ago
Book 1: Chapter 21 - New “Friends” (part 1) ago
Book 1: Chapter 21 - New “Friends” (part 2) ago
Book 1: Chapter 22 – Every good Clown knows how to “Juggle”. [Part 1] ago
Book 1: Chapter 22 – Every good Clown knows how to “Juggle”. [Part 2] ago
Book 1: Chapter 23 – “Heaven’s Blessed Daughter” (Part 1) ago
A Note from the Author: The Future going Forward ago
Book 1: Chapter 23 – “Heaven’s Blessed Daughter” (Part 2) ago
Book 1: Chapter 24 – “Anniversary.” ago
Looooooooooot! (Maybe) [Poll, plans and update] ago
Book 1: Chapter 25 – “Primeval Forest of the Serpentkin” [Part 1] ago
Book 1: Chapter 26 – “Primeval Forest of the Serpentkin” [Part 2] ago
Book 1: Chapter 27 – “Primeval Forest of the Serpentkin” [Part 3] ago
Book 1: Chapter 28 – “Aware” [Part 1] ago
Book 1: Chapter 28.5– “Aware” [Part 1.5] ago
Update ago
Finally started the Rework of my very first Story! ago
Book 1: Chapter 29– “Aware” [Part 2] ago
Book 1: Chapter 30 – “Snakes at the Gate.” ago
New Chapter Cover! [Art by Flumya] ago

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Reviews
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JackOfAllSins
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The prologue sets the stage and your expectations, gets you curious about how the MC has survived his strange hell.

The system is simple enough to understand quickly, which I appreciate, I kinda hate when authors spend an eternity explaining every stat. 

Extremely highly concept story idea, and so far the author is exploring the idea very well. I love stories with unique MCs or people put in a unique situation, while kind of generic at first, I love that he's being forced to become a singularly unique person by the strange circumstances of his life.

TheEarlofBronze
Overall

The first two reviews certainly raise reasonable points yet I'm glad I read it!

Reviewed at: UPDATE (not a Chapter)

There are, with out a doubt, a few oddities in this novel. The commonly raised one is the odd structure of spoken dialogue. While true I feel this is an unfair complaint mostly, the dialogue is still dialogue it's just in a format that we aren't accustomed to and shouldn't be a critique of the story. Not only that but its changed to the normal formate of 

'"This is the normal format" TheEarlofBronze said condescendingly'

later on in the novel after a poll.

As far as the story itself goes I quickly found myself quite fascinated. It follows the bizarre and "unhero-like" story of a man stuck in an impossible situation. Trapped within a snake of apocalyptic proportions. I found myself interested in what he'd attempt to do next, how he'd deal with the constantly changing and dangerous, yet oddly stagnant setting. The Author's decisions to include shorter POV chapters of characters other than the MC have been criticised in other reviews but I think they work.

For example if all 20+ chapters were just the MC it'd quickly get boring and repetitive with "forced" events that had no explanation. By giving us brief windows into the grander setting, and some context into how the world was "coping" with the System-Apocalypse, the events the MC does experience suddenly feel more appropriate, reasonable and meaningul. 

Considering that the top review by "Dark Intelligence" so kindly decides to throw in some pretty major spoilers I may as well include some of my own. 

The story does include the introduction (for a brief 2 or 3 chapters) of two other "Heroes" known as the strongest in the world who encounter both the titanic snake the MC is trapped in and also him. 

THIS IS A GOOD PLOT MOVE. It would make absolutely NO sense for the MC to be the most powerful human in the world considering the setting. He's encountered literally only two enemies during his time in the belly of the whale. er, snake. After MONTHS of time have passed since the System arrived. 

Criticising the author for sticking to his guns and the logic of his own world setting and not just going with the usual "MAH MC IS DA BEST AND STRONGEST IN DUH WORLD" is a good thing and a pleasant surprise in this kind of setting. In fact it puts me in mind vaguely of Delve. Both MC's are in their own way extremely unique and situationally very powerful. But are they the strongest? Smartest? No. and it MAKES SENSE they aren't. It also makes them more relatable and enjoyable protagonists. 

So yea, give it a try. It's rough around the edges but has an awful lot of charm and creativity to make up for it! 

jojmist
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Not the best, not the worst

Reviewed at: PSYCH!! Its just a Poll!

Intersting story with an interesting plot. The plot itself, flow, and how events play out so far have been the best part of the story. The worst part of the story by far is the editing. The author even has grammar/styling mistakes in their synopsis and has blatant grammar and spelling mistakes in their first author's note immediately preceding the prologue (come on, man!). Likewise, the grammar is definitely not perfect (but passable), and there are frequent spelling mistakes or entirely missed words. Its kind of like when you write something quickly, but then you re-read it for the first time; those are the kind of easy-to-make mistakes but also easily fixable ones that are common in this writing.

Not having even your story's synopsis error free made me almost skip this story altogether. If the synopsis, the first thing the readers read, is not error-free, how do you think we should expect the rest of your work to be like? Fix your shit!

Additionally, it is apparent early on that the MC will be having an extended stay in his new "home". It is unclear if the MC will even make it out or how the story will progress as the story catches up to the 5-years-later MC. This being a good or bad thing can be left up to the reader, however, the title of this work is "Parasite King".

All in all, I think this work as of now is "good" and should definitely be read by others. However, I also feel that this work compared to other popular ones on RR right now is on a fine line between "good" and "bad". If the author took a few more minutes to edit each chapter themselves, I think it would feel much more complete and readable. It is somewhat sad that someone is already editing the chapters and yet so many mistakes are still present. This means either the editor is bad, or the author has so many mistakes that the editor cannot catch them all but is organizing the story to be passable. 

Fix your shit!

Zach Horsman
Overall

Thus far, the story is quite interesting, with many possible avenues. The great part of this story, is that it's very unique, while also being within that 'Litrg' genre. A man gets unlucky at the start of... an incursion, and ends up basically living inside of a monster that just keeps getting more and more spacious. The MC has to find a way to survive and thrive in the belly of the beast. One thing that hasn't shown itself yet, is the 'Parasite' part of the story. He's living inside the beast, sure, but he's not really taking much away from the beast besides a miniscule (in comparison) amount of meat. [spoiler] A few problems I have at the time of this is that he didn't get to choose his own race or class, and he isn't even TRYING to find an escape, even though he's spoken about wanting to get out to see his only family left--his uncle. 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 


 After all is said, I hope for two things; that the author finds a way to add more action to the story, and that the author adds more backbone to the storyline before it gets to the point that the story seems to stagnate.

Wishes
Overall

Good story.  Can only recommend. Quite unique.  Waiting for more chapters.

OzieVyper
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is really cool. Litrpg about a guy named Jonah who's in the stomach of a monster (get it? Jonah? Like the whale?)

Style is good and really pulls you in and the world is well developed for a novel about a guy that lives in a snake! Good grammar and characters get you into the story. I felt really bad for some of them. 

 

Try it!

Centurion C.
Overall

This story has a good deal of bad reviews however I'm loving it. It's a really cool story and one of my favorites on RR. It is worth a read. 

FreyaChevalier
Overall

I honestly really enjoy the thought processes and personality of the MC and I think the lore of the world is really well done, the Truman Show style system they've got is novel.

The only thing I'd knock is the release rate of chapters, but that's only cause I desperately want to read more! 

zelot65
Overall

Well, first of, I like the premise. Your writing style is good and i like the characters. That said I think you need to work to tie the narratives closer, that is to say, the side stories seem a bit ...irrelevant? At the moment. I'm assuming they tie together through the seeds eventually, but for now they often seem scattered, which can be annoying. I do see the value in switching narratives once in a while though, giving different perspectives etc. But try to think of a way to tie it together with the main story. Something as simple as a comparative timeframe will give it a greater sense of cohesion. As a last note, you , may want to add in that the mc is human in your synopsis as it could be interpreted as a reincarnation type stpry.

But critisism, even constructive can be a bit dry to read; here come the good parts! The main character is developing well, the first chapter was an excellent use of in media res, to give a sense of expectation and mystery. The 'behind the scenes of the game' chapters build up the suspense and do tie well into the narrative. 

In any case, i like the story in general and will be following it, good luck.

Jumpedupbro
Overall

Very interesting premise let down by the way dialogue is presented. Why name every character before they speak in brackets. Really takes away from an otherwise great story.