Parasite King

by Osamaru Ta

Original ONGOING Fantasy Horror Sci-fi Tragedy Anti-Hero Lead GameLit Grimdark LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Mythos Post Apocalyptic Strong Lead Supernatural Urban Fantasy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

"What are you willing to do to survive? What are you willing to Become?

Jonah never really gave much thought to these kinds of things. He was just your average everyday young man, doing what he can to make it in the world. Unfortunately for Him, the world he knows is about to end. And he's the First Victim.

When Earth gets pulled into an intergalactic game show, hosted and ran for the entertainment of a Sadistic, super-advanced Alien race, all sorts of "Monsters" begin to spawn on Earth.

By a twist of fate, when a Gargantuan Snake spawns in the middle of his room and swallows him whole, Jonah becomes the first casualty of this sick game.

But Fate is not done with Jonah yet. For what fun is a Game without a fighting Chance? The question is, however, what price will he be willing to pay? "

  • Overall Score
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Author
Osamaru Ta

Osamaru Ta

Innocent Puppy, doesn't know what he's doing.

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue: Enough Meat to build a Bicycle! ago
Book 1 – Chapter 1: The end of one Game and the start of another…. ago
Book 1 – Chapter 2: Fighting chance ago
Book 1 – Chapter 3: Breathing room. ago
Cosmic Dreams 1: Cast your Anchor…. ago
Book 1 – Chapter 4: …Lest you drift away ago
Book 1 – Chapter 5: Day 23 , Proper etiquette on how to 'meat' your guests. (part 1) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 6: Day 23 , Proper etiquette on how to ‘meat’ your guests. (part 2) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 7: The tangled threads of Fate – Ms. Bella ago
Book 1 – Chapter 8: The tangled threads of Fate – Bobo ago
Book 1 – Chapter 9: Step one, attach monster worm leg A to carved port B. ago
Book 1 – Chapter 10: A Hitchhiker’s guide to Laniakea (part 1) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 11: A Hitchhiker’s guide to Laniakea (part 2) ago
Book 1 – Chapter 12: “WORRY NOT CITIZEN! THE HEROES HAVE ARRIVED!” ago
Book 1 – Chapter 13: A “Star” is born. ago
PSYCH!! Its just a Poll! ago
Book 1 – Chapter 14: News from the Other Side ago
Book 1 – Chapter 15: Determination and Attunement ago
Book 1 – Chapter 16: ♪♪ The night’s not over yet, The party’s just begun. ♪♪ ago
Book 1 – Chapter 17: Links in the Chain ago
Book 1 – Chapter 18: What does it cost to cut Fate’s string? ago
UPDATE (not a Chapter) ago

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Dark Intelligence
  • Overall Score

Pros:

 

Good writing quality.

 

Fun Development.

 

Cons:

 

Story starts out 5 years after the world ends (that's fine), What's NOT fine is that the next chapter (after you know the MC is alone in the Titan Boa's stomach). The story flips back to day 1 and goes from there.

 

After a couple of chapters, the author writes a filler chapter about nothing in particular. It's a dream about singing a sailors song with some grim dark moments.

 

A couple of chapters after that, the author writes 2 useless chapters about 2 random people and author hints that they're MC's.

 

A couple of chapters later, author writes another MC chapter about someone random who is a goblin Kings henchman.

 

A couple of chapters later, MC (real mc) gets sidelinged when TWO hero's are swallowed and they beat up and abuse the MC. MC gets side railed to a gollum side character and isn't MC anymore.

 

NOW, we know 5 years later he's by himself. HOWEVER, Author said one of the HERO's is a MC. So wtf... nothing is consistant and makes sense. Why ruin and make the main MC a side character?

 

Also, there was 13 BILLION people on the planet, and Main MC's UNCLE, yes UNCLE. Becomes leader of ALL humans. FFS. Author is just dumb

Azcheron
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Mediocre Story, held back by bad grammar and punctuation.

Reviewed at: Book 1 – Chapter 2: Fighting chance

OK, first of all, your English is really good for a non-native speaker, but your grammar and punctuation have some huge mistakes. 

 

Here's a quote from your writing:

 

______

 

Seeing that, Jonah yelled out through his blistering mouth and broken teeth.

 

 

 

 

[Jonah] - YAH! TAKE THAT YOU SCALY BASTARD! YOUR MOTHER WAS A CHEAP HANDBAG, AND YOUR FATHER WAS A POOL NOODLE! I'M GONNA BE THE WORST CASE OF HEARTBURN YOU EVER HAD, YOU TURD COLORED NO LEG HAVING SON OF A *****!!!

 

 

 

 

But despite his struggle, Jonah could feel his fiery enthusiasm start to leave him.

 

_______

 

 

 

 

Firstly, your speech is completely incorrect. I've seen how a few different languages do speech in writing, but I have to admit I've never seen it done like this. In English we use something called a "quotation mark" to denote speech, and typically it is then followed by 'said Jonah' or any other kind of verb to describe how a character is saying something, not just all caps at the start. That's not how English works.

 

 

 

 

Secondly, either use swear words in your story or don't. I've read lots of stories which work just fine without swear words, and other that work well with swear words. Censoring your own fiction by blurring swear words is like the worst of both worlds. Not only are you not actually using swear words, you're censoring random words in the middle of your speech. It's a terrible technique and you really need to stop doing it. 

 

 

 

 

Other than that there isn't much to say yet. The idea that some random game master for a show which supposedly caters to 100,000 galaxies would take some time for a private chat with our MC makes no sense whatsoever, but whatever.

 

 

JackOfAllSins
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The prologue sets the stage and your expectations, gets you curious about how the MC has survived his strange hell.

The system is simple enough to understand quickly, which I appreciate, I kinda hate when authors spend an eternity explaining every stat. 

Extremely highly concept story idea, and so far the author is exploring the idea very well. I love stories with unique MCs or people put in a unique situation, while kind of generic at first, I love that he's being forced to become a singularly unique person by the strange circumstances of his life.

TheEarlofBronze
  • Overall Score

The first two reviews certainly raise reasonable points yet I'm glad I read it!

Reviewed at: UPDATE (not a Chapter)

There are, with out a doubt, a few oddities in this novel. The commonly raised one is the odd structure of spoken dialogue. While true I feel this is an unfair complaint mostly, the dialogue is still dialogue it's just in a format that we aren't accustomed to and shouldn't be a critique of the story. Not only that but its changed to the normal formate of 

'"This is the normal format" TheEarlofBronze said condescendingly'

later on in the novel after a poll.

As far as the story itself goes I quickly found myself quite fascinated. It follows the bizarre and "unhero-like" story of a man stuck in an impossible situation. Trapped within a snake of apocalyptic proportions. I found myself interested in what he'd attempt to do next, how he'd deal with the constantly changing and dangerous, yet oddly stagnant setting. The Author's decisions to include shorter POV chapters of characters other than the MC have been criticised in other reviews but I think they work.

For example if all 20+ chapters were just the MC it'd quickly get boring and repetitive with "forced" events that had no explanation. By giving us brief windows into the grander setting, and some context into how the world was "coping" with the System-Apocalypse, the events the MC does experience suddenly feel more appropriate, reasonable and meaningul. 

Considering that the top review by "Dark Intelligence" so kindly decides to throw in some pretty major spoilers I may as well include some of my own. 

The story does include the introduction (for a brief 2 or 3 chapters) of two other "Heroes" known as the strongest in the world who encounter both the titanic snake the MC is trapped in and also him. 

THIS IS A GOOD PLOT MOVE. It would make absolutely NO sense for the MC to be the most powerful human in the world considering the setting. He's encountered literally only two enemies during his time in the belly of the whale. er, snake. After MONTHS of time have passed since the System arrived. 

Criticising the author for sticking to his guns and the logic of his own world setting and not just going with the usual "MAH MC IS DA BEST AND STRONGEST IN DUH WORLD" is a good thing and a pleasant surprise in this kind of setting. In fact it puts me in mind vaguely of Delve. Both MC's are in their own way extremely unique and situationally very powerful. But are they the strongest? Smartest? No. and it MAKES SENSE they aren't. It also makes them more relatable and enjoyable protagonists. 

So yea, give it a try. It's rough around the edges but has an awful lot of charm and creativity to make up for it! 

OzieVyper
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This is really cool. Litrpg about a guy named Jonah who's in the stomach of a monster (get it? Jonah? Like the whale?)

Style is good and really pulls you in and the world is well developed for a novel about a guy that lives in a snake! Good grammar and characters get you into the story. I felt really bad for some of them. 

 

Try it!

Caleb Ayer
  • Overall Score

This story has a good deal of bad reviews however I'm loving it. It's a really cool story and one of my favorites on RR. It is worth a read. 

APlankOfWood
  • Overall Score

Well then... You have now officially caught my interest...

Primate
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The Style.

Omniscient third person narration. Well written.

The Story.

This book is enough entertainment despite the storyline. The story about a guy named Jonah and his ordeals when earth became part of a galactic game. It is very gripping and one chapter leads the other! The readers won't be able to wait for the next one to come out. The story is really interesting despite the very elaborate plot.

The characters.

The characters introduction is really well made and doesn't take too much time so the reader is immidiately involved into the events. Really consistent characters who never do something against their real nature, and talking about the background you will surely notice how well made.

The grammar.

Good quality for a non native speaker. No major errors.

 

Zach Horsman
  • Overall Score

Thus far, the story is quite interesting, with many possible avenues. The great part of this story, is that it's very unique, while also being within that 'Litrg' genre. A man gets unlucky at the start of... an incursion, and ends up basically living inside of a monster that just keeps getting more and more spacious. The MC has to find a way to survive and thrive in the belly of the beast. One thing that hasn't shown itself yet, is the 'Parasite' part of the story. He's living inside the beast, sure, but he's not really taking much away from the beast besides a miniscule (in comparison) amount of meat. [spoiler] A few problems I have at the time of this is that he didn't get to choose his own race or class, and he isn't even TRYING to find an escape, even though he's spoken about wanting to get out to see his only family left--his uncle. 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 


 After all is said, I hope for two things; that the author finds a way to add more action to the story, and that the author adds more backbone to the storyline before it gets to the point that the story seems to stagnate.

jojmist
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Not the best, not the worst

Reviewed at: PSYCH!! Its just a Poll!

Intersting story with an interesting plot. The plot itself, flow, and how events play out so far have been the best part of the story. The worst part of the story by far is the editing. The author even has grammar/styling mistakes in their synopsis and has blatant grammar and spelling mistakes in their first author's note immediately preceding the prologue (come on, man!). Likewise, the grammar is definitely not perfect (but passable), and there are frequent spelling mistakes or entirely missed words. Its kind of like when you write something quickly, but then you re-read it for the first time; those are the kind of easy-to-make mistakes but also easily fixable ones that are common in this writing.

Not having even your story's synopsis error free made me almost skip this story altogether. If the synopsis, the first thing the readers read, is not error-free, how do you think we should expect the rest of your work to be like? Fix your shit!

Additionally, it is apparent early on that the MC will be having an extended stay in his new "home". It is unclear if the MC will even make it out or how the story will progress as the story catches up to the 5-years-later MC. This being a good or bad thing can be left up to the reader, however, the title of this work is "Parasite King".

All in all, I think this work as of now is "good" and should definitely be read by others. However, I also feel that this work compared to other popular ones on RR right now is on a fine line between "good" and "bad". If the author took a few more minutes to edit each chapter themselves, I think it would feel much more complete and readable. It is somewhat sad that someone is already editing the chapters and yet so many mistakes are still present. This means either the editor is bad, or the author has so many mistakes that the editor cannot catch them all but is organizing the story to be passable. 

Fix your shit!