by Angry Spider
- Traumatising content
Bain wants to be a hero.
Heroes and villains alike battle daily around Centropolis. Behind the scenes, reputation boosting, biases, and politics runs rampant among both sides. The few heroes who truly want to do good are shoved under the bus in a mad struggle for fame.
Bain wants to be a hero. There's just one problem.
He's a monster.
The first eleven tracks of the original Infamous OST are out now. They can also be found on my Discord.
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Let's get this out of the way right now.
Did I enjoy Infamous to any extent? Yes, I did.
Do I think it can improve and refine itself? Yes, I very much do.
Do I think you should read it? If you're not a nitpicky perfectionist, then go ahead and give it a try. It just might be what you've been looking for. Monster meets superhero with a dash of zany and a few trope-flips is done to effective degree. That isn't to say it's perfect, or without underlying issues, but for the most part, Infamous is fun to read and it's flaws easy to ignore.
It starts well, great even, and gets right to building the world and characters. As there aren't too many chapters up at the time of this review, I won't be going very in-depth at this time, instead providing a subjective review and pointing out what I think can be strengthened.
This is by no means a perfect opinion, and should be taken with a grain of salt. In the end, I am a subjective person, and what I see as a problem may be a non-factor to other readers. Without further ado, enjoy.
Does Infamous having anything unique going for it?
Does it have a twist to make it different from the small legion of other superhero stories out there?
Why should one read this instead of those?
All valid questions. And after a bit of contemplation, I've come to my conclusions. It's a good story. It's got the twist, it's beginning to effectively worldbuild, and most importantly for a new story, it shows promise. I want to read more, once I have some binging material stacked up. Despite my nitpicking about small things, Infamous passes most of my RR standards with some gusto and is marked as Read More on the list.
A story often isn't just about the premise or the great big bold idea, it's how that premise is presented and executed. A great premise can fall through and feel flat if the small details holding up are missing, leaving it a bloated mass floundering about in a sea of dissapointment.
Infamous, thankfully, dodges that. Bain's drive to be a hero, to be one the good guys comes off as real, and the small events we see around this contrast to that nicely. I can't say much for overall plot so far, but the opening had been good insofar. Not tightly woven and spectacular if one were to regard, say, Worm and Anathema, but lets not be picky little shits about that, eh? Instead, given the author's apparent level of skill and quirkiness, it's more than fair to say that the plot, which I'm not going to spoil for reasons, is well enough insofar.
Giant nightmare fuel centipede fathers and zombieman exposition aside, it was pretty on-point and nice to cruise through. I rate it a good, solid effort that's going to need time to shine. Perhaps hints of a main antagonist and a few events/maybe a sinister POV would keep the tension high and readers on edge?
Not going to lie here, AngrySpider, this is where you need to improve. I'm not being an asshole, just honest. You're style is ok at best in my over-critical eyes, and some brushing up is needed to make your stories shine. I'll skip everything else and get right to the advice. Take it or ignore it if you will.
- Make dialogue more natural: Okay, it isn't too bad, but it can be smoother. Try thinking or irl convos when writing, and attempt to emuktae them. Give each character a unique flow and way of speaking. What words do they favor and which ones do they ignore. Do they have an accent? What don't they know. Dialogue isn't just excha ging information, it can be expression of feeling, letting us look into these characters, their moods and thoughts. Using it wisely can rivt readers to a character, make them care about those people.
- Repition of information: Remember how Bain says he's Nahkma's son? And adds how he was found and reaised three different times? You don't need to do that. The reader already knew the first time. You can easily get away with, and even make your flow seem smoother by just saying things like: He explained, or just jumping to the opposite party's reaction to hearing Bain say that. Look at most of the published authors. Unless they have something to structure in a scene like a character messing up dialogue or accidently saying something stupid when repeating information the reader already knows, most skip repitition of information. And for good reasons. It jars the flow and makes the reader bored. Avoid it like a plague.
- Stay in the characters default set of moods unless they change reacting to outside stimulous: Remember when Bain just casually offered to chuck that would be hero? That was what I mean. Switching around moods and having a character, well, break character to make the scene appear cool often does the opposite. Think about what can make a character do a 180 in their mood and show it before having them jump around the emotional spectrum.
- There are more little nitpicks, like keeping to accurate descriptions and fleshing side settings more, but I'll stop yapping for now.
No complaints. Not perfect, prose could be a little more varied and I advise you to avoid word repitition at all costs, but I'm not one to talk. Moving on.
Okay, again, not enough chapters to truly judge them them on, but the cast seems solid enough so far, if missing the little quirks and flair that usually enamor me to a cast of characters. Bain is obviously the most fleshed, but other important characters don't seem far behind, and the one-off characters are well-done enough.
Again, there's just not enough content to start seeing true deveolpment and arcs and conclusions, but whst is available shows promise. A little cliche, with Bain's rage more and all, but the author seems more than capable of landing a surprise twist or upset for is in the future.
Looking forward to how this will develop and don't expect to be dissapointed.
A jorney can be the most epic thing ever on paper/as an idea, but without a good, varied, in-depth cast, it's all dust and rubbish. Remember that. Give us their backstories, give us their emotions, but don't give us empty plot-device shells with names.
Infamous shows promise, and had already begun to deliver. Mistakes and optimization opportunities aside, I reccomend this story to both fans of monster MCs and superhero stories, just for the slightly wholesome spectecle of a monster trying it's gosh-darn damnest to be one of the good guys.
Tldr: I reccomend, atop screwing around and read this shit already. Just leave you nitpicks at home and don't be whiny little grannies about every little issue like me.
The story seems to be off to a good start, and the characters are good. My only problem is that there isn't enough for me to be able to give this more detail. Plz write more.
Edit: Its back boys after a rewrite, and even better than before. many characters have been given more convincing dialogue, and the new characters are also good. The first battle is noice, even if its ( Edit 2: No longer cheesy as the author actually took criticism). Good job.
This feels quite mediocre if you are not a fan of that genre. It's an interesting concept, a superhero with the perspective of a monster. However, the execution seems really lacklustre. We don't get to see the transition between our main protagonist personality. He behaved like a hero-fanboy since day 1. There was definitively room for character development. The author could have made a slower transition between the inhuman mindset to a more human one. Worldbuilding is also quite basic. Overall, the story has potential, but I would prefer if the author rewrites everything. Another issue is the powers themselves. They seem a bit too strong and less unique. Weaker powers with more utility would make a more interesting dynamic between the heroes. Especially if the author makes these fights more creative. Overall, someone who likes this genre would be happy, everyone else should not read it at its current state.
The story follows a monster named Bain and his joirney of becoming a hero. So far, the story has been true to its plot line. The novel is so much fun to read with awesome little action scenes.
So far, the style has been the omniscient third person narration. And the author is making a marvelous use of it. The readers are able to see the infamous world through the eyes of the various characters. Their thoughts and feelings are also perfectly conveyed.
Top quality. No errors that could affect the flow of the story.
Now, what more can I say about the characters. They are well defined and perfectly fitted to their roles. The MC is of top quality character.
Well done, author. Keep up the great work.
I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting when I opened this story, but it surprised and delighted me.
This is a superhero story. But not your average all-American Superman, or even your grief-stricken Batman... it's a monster, raised by a kaiju centipede, that wants to be a hero.
And it's amazing.
Grammar's great, the story flows well, you get a good set-up of the world right away and it feels natural and well done. I love the main character, he's a great protagonist we can all get behind.
scary monster that is not realy a bad person. Cult of cthulhu approves of scary monster that wants to be good, the old ones are just miss understood like him.
I would rather cut to the point in this one and recommend it right away. Even more so if you love a hero-villain filled superpower world like Boku no Hero Academia or One Punch Man.
It's a unique story of a 8 feet(?) tall insectoid monster with the heart of a child in the hopes of becoming a hero. Just like the bizarre premise, the story has great elements of humor including some dynamic action sequences. I guess that would be enough to fill anyone's plate.
Grammar is of top quality. The prose is perfect with the descriptions being both vivid and concise.
Characters are amazing. They are made likable on their very first screentime. Subtle elements of love and friendship only act as the icing on the cake.
A very good read. Do check it out.
Infamous tells the story of Baine a mutated rat monster who is aspiring to become a superhero in a futuristic metropolis oversaturated with them and afraid of him.
The setting of Centropolis is gritty and nitty. Being a hero isn't just glamour. It is political as well. Reputation, public relations, treaties and whatnot, all play a part in the superhero career. Centropolis is a world similar to Watchmen and Worm. Anyone who reads web novels has heard of Worm. So, that I use it as a comparison speaks about the quality and potential of Infamous. The world is rich with history and possibilities. From rat mutants to standard superhero powers to zombies. Everything can and possibly will happen. Comic books had never been shy to blurry the borders of different genres, and Infamous stays true to that.
What is distinctively unlike Worm or Watchmen, is our MC Bain. He feels as if he were from a Dreamworks movie. I could see him being friends with Mike, Scully, Po, etc. He is a dork, he is idealistic and naive and it is really charming. Seeing him try to become a hero is really making your heart warm. Of special note is the relationship between Bain and his mentor Stitch. Stitch is an old school hero. He knows the reality of the business and can be quite cranky. But his heart is in the right place. If Bain would be Po, then Stitch is Master Shifu. The other characters aren't explored as much yet, but Boom Mike, Benedict, and Nahma are fascinating characters for sure, and eventually, we will probably learn more about them. We also got the first glimpses of the first main antagonist, and he seems interesting as well.
No issues here.
Really the only thing holding this story back is the writing style. While it is fine for the most part, and it does improve over time, the narration prefers to tell instead of showing. Another problem is that during fighting scenes the sentences are too long, which makes it difficult to follow the scene, and that it is sometimes difficult to follow who speaks at the moment. The POV switches should also be better signaled. That being said, I am positive that with time and practice the author will only become better, and turn these points into non-issues.
This story has potential. I am not exaggerating when I said that this might become Worm's successor (let's ignore Ward for a second). I am eager to look back in two years and see how far the author has come since then. His style can only improve and until then, the story and the characters can carry this novel alone. Until then I will follow Infamous' development.
In case, it wasn't obvious. I really recommend this story.
As a whole, it's a very nice, interesting and well-written story that I enjoyed. That's despite the superhero genre being mostly lost on me (my entire contact with it was one or two Marvel films and Boku no Hero Academia). It's very short for now, but it's an interesting start.
The two things that irk me (and are responsible for low style score) is:
1) No text-justify, the entire text aligned left. Loses a bit of the nice stylistic.
2) Many paragraphs are compressed dialogues between two characters, which is a bit too convoluted and sometimes forces me to sit down for a while and disentangle the paragraph.
The rest is very, very good.
I don't have anything bad to say about this, I enjoyed it way too much to remember any nitpicks I might have had along the way.
grammar is basically perfect and I was never bored reading it.
style + story: it's pretty fast-paced and a little all over the place story with multiple POV. the plot is driven mostly by Bain's deep desire to be a hero, and every character has their own unique desires and motivations. although it's like 40 chapters in already I feel like it's still in the introductory phases, like it's laying down the foundation and introducing all the players until everything really kicks off. whether that happens or not, I'll look forward to every chapter either way.
the characters are what really shines in this story, I was surprised again and again by characterization where I least expected it, these bugs feel like real "people" and the people do too. there are a few characters here and there that are pretty damn cartoonish, but they take up so little space that it doesn't detract from the rest, and given the world this takes place in they don't feel too out of place.
read it if you like:
-bug characters (that are actually interesting)
-silly and over-the-top ridiculous things happening
-serious and dramatic things happening
-pulling of heartstrings
-with a sprinkle of lighthearted fun and gory horror (not at the same time)