Everybody here is a cultivation idiot.

by Devilangelo

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead Dungeon Female Lead GameLit Gender Bender Harem High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Non-Human lead Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation Secret Identity Slice of Life Strong Lead Supernatural Wuxia Xianxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Main character gets reincarnated in another world, except the system governing the planet gives him the wrong class. Having the [Low Level Evil Minion Clone] class, the MC now has to survive Demonic Sects, Crazy Cultivators, and even Heroic Parties chasing down after him.

[Winner in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

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Word Count (11)
1st Anniversary
Top List #300
Royal Writathon April 2020 winner
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 00 / Prologue: ago
Chapter 1: Spare me master, for I am only a lowly one. ago
Chapter 2: Stats ago
Chapter 3: Yi Gore ago
Chapter 4: “Beguilement” Training ago
Chapter 5: Sect Master ago
Chapter 6: Assault ago
Chapter 7: Scholarly Sect ago
Chapter 8: All Men Are Idiots ago
Chapter 9: Cultivation Is A Pain In The Aft ago
Chapter 10: Sects, Books and Priorities ago
Chapter 11: Proof and Work ago
Chapter 12: Hauling for Alchemy ago
Chapter 13: Ingredients and Secrets ago
Chapter 14: Tools and Tribulations ago
Interlude: Windmage’s Turmoil ago
Chapter 15: Blood, Fire and Loot ago
Chapter 16: Money of the Essence ago
Interlude: Clan Tai’s Dilemma ago
Chapter 17: Roots and Demons.  ago
Mini-Chapter 18: A bridge towards the future ago
Chapter 18: Heroes and Demonic Cultivators ago
Mini-Chapter 19: Back to Hell ago
Chapter 19: Templars and Confessions ago
Mini Chapter 20: “Grownup” Talk ago
Chapter 20: An Earfull of Liliam ago
Mini-Chapter 21: Silk Road ago
Chapter 21: InvisiRooster ago
Mini Chapter 22: Digging and Racism! ago
Chapter 22: Unsuppressed ago
Mini-Chapter 23: Maybe this one... ago
Chapter 23: Fixing Lingfeng ago
Mini-Chapter 24: Hotsprings and Suspicious Mail ago
Chapter 24: Fall's Gravity ago
Mini-Chapter 25: Not So Sunny After All ago
Chapter 25: Unveiling the Plague Lab ago
Mini-Chapter 26: Under Siege ago
Chapter 26: Door Beneath The Mountain ago
Mini-Chapter 27: Rock-Pencil-Laser ago
Chapter 27: Library of Heaven’s P(Copyright Infringement) ago
Mini-Chapter 28: Streaming The M. Release ago
Chapter 28: Deus Ex Cameo ago
Arc-End Chapter 29: Cast Away ago
Interlude: Uncle Tai’s Wishes ago
Chapter 30: Projecting for Spell-Codes ago
Chapter 31: Midget Re-Acquirement ago
Chapter 32: Group Counseling ago

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  • Overall Score

Half Xianxia + Half Crack = Half Stars

Reviewed at: Chapter 15: Blood, Fire and Loot

The first few chapters one can write off as bizarrely whimsical, which is fairly interesting. These first six or seven good chapters turn out to not be representative of the rest, unfortunately. 

Soon there are some parts which are so painfully amateurish that I can only call them crack, as in crack-fics.

The character has moments where she essentially switches personality to "I'm so random/crazy lol" and everyone goes with it, and even switches with her. 

She constantly insults the entire world as retarded and backwater, and her half-assed guesses prove to be revolutionary cultivation techniques (with no downsides, even) that no one has tried yet, even as she came up with them in thirty seconds of thinking.

And this is a world where a random demonic sect had managed en-mass cloning, Gene modding, memory implantation, advanced cybernetic prosthetics and all sorts of crazy feats.

The system feels simplistic and limited, and the MC can all but imagine system-breaking cheats into existence.

It's a pity, as one can glimpse what this could be, but isn't.

So, while there are some interesting ideas peppered about, unless you like crack-fics and are looking for a xianxia themed one, I would not recommend. 

On the other hand, if that sounds like your jam, then this is probably worth checking out.

This is not, unfortunately, the next Arrogant Young Master.

  • Overall Score

Everybody here is an idiot, and it's not about cultivation

Reviewed at: Chapter 17: Roots and Demons. 

You can argue that expecting competence from characters in a story called "Everybody here is a cultivation idiot" is a bit silly, and that's fair. Personally, 'cultivation idiot' is a matter of personality and not competence. If you disagree on that, then at least you won't get a bad suprise.

And it's not that the story doesn't have that. The first 6 chapters (while she's actually in the demonic sect) are pretty good. That's what I expected from the story.

After 6, it veers off into a very different direction. It ends up as "MC uses vaguely (mis)understood RL science to do unprecedented things". One of those things is running water. Everybody else is just pretty bad at what they do, despite the fact that they've been doing it for thousands of years.

OP nerd
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it's a very funny cultivation/slice of life fiction. You don't see that mixture done a lot this way, and I really like it. The author pulls off the humor without making it seem forced. There is a sarcastic system named Timmy. Be warned: puns happen. If you are allergic to funny stuff I suggest you avoid this fiction. The grammar is good and consistent, with hardly any mistakes. There are no major plotholes and the writing style is consistent. The author does rant about trolls who give low rating in 2-3 of the chapters, so if you can't stand that sort of thing, I suggest you don't read this fiction. Some of the chapters can be on the short side.

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For anybody liking xianxia or even general fantasy, give this novel a try. While it does have cultivation, it's also a mashup of games and genres which do not constraint it to "only" cultivation. The author stomps on a lot of the old tropes, and solves problems in innovative ways. Realeases are often and grammar is fixed daily. I have also seen a lot of negative remakes from certain users targeted at the novel's Gender Bender tag, but it is totally not what you think it is. Read it first before you judge.

  • Overall Score

A satirical take on the Xianxia genre with surprisingly likeable characters, the occasional decently written but not drawn out fight, and blatantly overpowered system cheats. The conceit that everyone has access to the same cheats, but is too idiotic/prideful to figure them out because of the genre of fiction they are in, is a nice deconstruction.

I had a lot more fun reading this than I would normally admit - it started a little bit cringey, but rapidly improved.

SMB Consult
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**********    Very nice story. I loughed very much. Please keep writing. I love the world. The rooster is amusing. Good job a great story for unchapter each day! **************                                                                                                                                                  !

jamie mackay
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An enjoyable read that takes potshots at other famous fictions and genres that you ccan just sit down and read every now and then for a nice time. The overall story grammar characters and style are well thought out if a bit cliche but I would argue that is exactly what the story is going for and is one of its strongest points. A classic happy go lucky Isekai op mc story with a lot of satire and sarcy mcs.

rick james
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Reviewed at: Chapter 24: Fall's Gravity
  1. Great story overall. Title says everything. Xianxia characters are idiots except for MC. Good read. Brain cells won't die. And this thing has to be 200 characters long bloody hell. Ok so this is a new way of showing xianxia. It's different and isn't so cultivation focused which I like. The system even knowe it a reincarnated mc(with a normal iQ)  from planet earth wouldn't become a crazy murder hobo like some trashy xianxia characters. Make more fun of the xianxia trash that keep recycling the plot. MC meets arrogant person. Arrogant person dies. Arrogant person has some fucking unknown powerful elder show up. MC commits genocide. Face slapping and that stupid shit. I'd wish it'd all burn. So many things to get inspiration from but all the trashy xianxia rinse and repeat. But this book is different. Worth reading. 
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Nice comedy story, lacking cultivation story.

Reviewed at: Mini-Chapter 18: A bridge towards the future

Honestly its a good try, although I'm still of the opinion that LitRPG+Classic Xianxia almost always ends up in a extremely messy resulty, and sadly this story still keeps up that trend.

Xianxia is by in of itself open ended to and complex to the extreme, LitRPG's already struggle to keep themselves concise normaly, add Xianxia bullshit to that.... yeah not great, specially since the whole point of Xianxia is ascencion one way or the other, and a "System" often clonflicts with that.

Not to mention this also suffers from... well the bloody title says it, Cultivation Idiots, the idea that someone can live for thousands of years and still be a bunbling dunce is often frustasting.

The MC is nothing special as well I find it quite hard to relate to her as she doesn't feel like a person, more like an almagamation of traits from a sheet that doesn't always come out right.

Eh... my point is this story is conpetent but the longer it goes the bigger the hole it digs for itself due to... well everyone being an utter generic moron so the MC can be the special snowflake.

The other good Xianxia Story I can compare this to is Arrogant Young Master (May The Spoon rest in peace). And it had quite the different approach to this dunce demigods problem, one that everyone around is so conpetent and paranoid that their actions often overshoot whatever the truth actually was cause they saw a nuke where there was only a firecracker, hence the misunderstandings and comedy. 

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Funny story. It's full of puns and weird characters. Some things do not turn out the way you expect them to do. The Mother System is a bitch, but the assistant companion is not. Tropes and stereotypes abound, but they are also twisted in new ways. The GB tag is almost irrelevant. I WANT MORE, WORD SLAVE!