Guess whos back? Back again?
Yay I got 100 favorites! A Milestone!
*Celebrates with party poppers*
*looks at other novels number of favorites*
*sadly sweeps up and stuffs the confetti back into the poppers*
Edited by SGJacko
Day 38 (Night)
Standing next to the door, holding Queenie in my arms, I slowly patted her hair, consoling her. I stood there in complete silence since I was at a complete loss of words. I am not very good at dealing with emotional situations. I was pretty blessed when I was still a human. There was no major tragedy that occurred while I was still Driskoll. I had neither experienced death in the family, nor horrific life changing accidents, nor endured any disasters. The only one major thing that happened to me was my girlfriend leaving for another man. Compared to this, it was nothing. To be very honest, I would rather fight the bear 100 times than live through situations like this.
Learning that I had lost my unborn child, I felt no sadness. Instead, I was overwhelmed by another emotion: anger. Angry that I could not think of a better way to save everyone. Angry at the fact that I forgot to take Queenie’s pregnancy into account when I was planning. Angry at myself for thinking up the stupid plan that caused this.
Feeling everyone´s eyes on us, I thought it appropriate to send everyone out of the room. I wanted to be alone with Queenie at this moment. Without letting go of her, I ordered everyone to leave the room under the pretense of scouting the ruin. We had no time to waste anyway. Our tribe needs to secure a safe place after all.
“Everyone go outside and scout our surrounding. Don’t engage any enemies.”
Sylva tried to interject, but I quickly shut her down with my dagger stares. Fearful of my silent fury, everyone hurriedly exited the room. Sylva, being the last one, turned around to give us a quick glance of condolence before leaving. Even though these was just a moment,I didn’t feel any animosity from her. I was a bit thankful that I would not have to deal with her insubordination again. We were left alone in the room with nothing but dancing wisps and our shadows flickering behind us.
“It is not your fault, Queenie.”
The quiet room echoed with the sound of sobbing. It was as if every brick in the room was crying along with Queenie for the loss of our child. I brought her closer to myself and embraced her with more strength.
“It is not your fault. I am the one to blame. If I didn´t make everyone escape from the river, our child would still be alive. Hit me as hard as you can. It... is my fault. It’s...”
The tears I had been holding back finally overflowed. The tears rolled off my cheek and slowly dripped onto Queenie’s soft purple hair.
“No, it’s not your fault. The goblin god told you how to get out. He already told you that it was full of danger. It is my fault for not being able to protect it. I am not worthy to carry your child.”
Those words pour sulfur on top of my wound. She was blaming herself because I used the goblin god as an excuse, getting everyone to follow my plans. Plans that were incomplete. Plans that didn’t take every little detail into account. In hindsight, I could have just used my status as the tribe’s leader to get everyone to follow me instead. I should have only used the name of the goblin god if they refused to follow. If I did do that, Queenie probably would not be blaming herself at this point. My soul was torn. I wished I could tell her the truth about everything about the goblin god just so that she would stop blaming herself and blame me instead. I had to bite my lips to keep that information from slipping out though. If I told her everything, the whole tribe would fall apart.
“No, don’t tell yourself that. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I am sure that the goblin god will bless us with the strongest child. Next time…”
“I don’t know if we will have another one.”
“What.. what are you saying? Of course we will have another child. If you want, we can do it right now. Here, I won’t even blindfold myself this time. I want to see you...”
“Stop Cani. Listen to me.”
Queenie put her hands over my mouth to stop me from talking. After I stopped making a sound, she used the same hand and wiped away the tears from my cheek. With her other hand, she rubbed the tears away from her swollen purple eyes. Sniffling a bit, she calmed down and stopped crying.
“It happened to my mother too when she lost one of my siblings. Once that happened, she couldn’t make more children no matter how many times she tried. I have seen it happen a few times to others as well.”
I grimaced at the thought of not being able to have children with Queenie. Before everything happened, I wasn’t exactly thrilled when I learned that I was going to be a father. It just seemed like that children were an extra responsibility. Now that I have lost it, having a child meant everything to me. The saying is definitely true. You don’t know what you have got until it is gone.
“It doesn’t mean that will happen to you, too. At least we have to try as hard as we can.”
“Cani, you are the strongest one that I have ever seen. You have to leave a child, for the future of our tribe. I can’t let my own feeling jeopardize the future. Go and make a child with Sylva first. I don’t think I can bear another child so soon anyway.”
“NO! That is the one thing I won’t compromise. We can wait till you are better before trying again.”
“We can’t wait. Our tribe only has about 20 goblins left. We need to strengthen our tribe right now, especially when we don’t know anything about our surroundings.”
“No buts. You don’t get a say in this. How about this. To make you feel better, no matter what happens, any children that you and Sylva have, I will treat them as if they were my own. They will be our children too. It doesn’t matter if we are able to make more children or not.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“I am absolutely sure.”
I smiled wryly at Queenie. To think that my previous wish of satisfying my lust with Sylva was granted in such a painful manner. I failed to heed the classic warning: be careful of what you wish for. I held her hand tightly in front of me.
“No matter what, you will always be my one and only mate.”
“I love you.”
Day 38 (Night)
“Why does it hurt so much?”
Sylva asked herself while holding her chest. Even with the wisps flying around providing a bit of lighting, it was hard to see potential dangers. The scouting party suggested to make a torch out of the campfire. Since no one else wanted to enter the room and incur the wrath of Cani, she volunteered to check if it was safe to go back into the room. Standing outside the door in the dark corridor, she heard the last little bit of conversation between Queenie and Cani. Unbeknownst to herself, she had already fallen for Cani. She had fallen for his strength, intelligence, and dedication to his family. Even though her mind tells her that she should hate Cani for killing her troops, her heart says otherwise. It developed into a strange love/hate relationship between them. Unfortunately for her, she just heard that he will not consider anyone else as his mate. This caused a great turmoil in her heart.
“Hey captain Sylva, you don’t look so well? Did Cani kick you out without giving you the torch?”
Appearing out of the darkness, Ami, the oldest sister of the goblin from the other tribe, went back to check on Sylva since she didn’t return for quite some time. Sylva quickly shook herself out of the daze and answered Ami.
“You can stop addressing me as the captain, I am no longer one.”
“You will always be my captain.”
“We´d be in big trouble if anyone else heard it.”
“We can deal with it when the time comes.”
“Anyway, I don’t think we should go inside any time soon. Let’s just collect some wood and make a new fire in an open place.”
Both of them slowly walked through the corridor with the wisps guiding their way. A faint howl of the wind reverberated as they traveled through the small confines. When they reached the end, they saw everyone else waiting in the large opening. Broken crates scattered around in the area. A few sat on the cold stone tiles, while others leaned on the walls. One of the goblins noticed the two that returned.
“No luck with the fire?”
“I think I would have been killed if I went in there. Let’s just make a new fire here.”
Everyone started to collect wood from the broken crate and moved it to the center. A few of the goblins tried to start a fire. It was a long and tedious task to start a fire from scratch. No matter how hard it was, however, it was still better than going back to face Cani. They diligently rubbed pieces of wood together, hoping to get the smallest speck of ember. Before long, a fire roared, lighting up everything surrounding them. They picked up a few pieces of broken fabric that was lying on the ground, wrapped it around a stake, and set it on fire. With some of them armed with a torch, the group of goblins prepared themselves to explore the unknown.