What is this? Double
I had a strange dream where I was manage a NFL team consist of Lord of the ring characters. Sam was refusing to play for some reason, Gandolf was the best center. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
It was weird. It was glorious. I just wanted to share it with someone before I forget it.
“I caught one! Get ready, here it comes!”
A goblin slowly pulls a long rod out of the hole. At the end of the rod was a crude net made out of vines. Inside the net was a fish, flopping around trying the escape. When the fish was pulled out of the hole, two other goblins removed the fish from the net. It was a huge catch. Even with the two goblins, they had a hard time handling it.
I slammed the fish with my new hammer in the head. It caved in a bit and the fish stopped moving. This was the thirtieth time I have done this. I did it to test the hammer’s ability. All I can say is that other than the fact that it was completely pitch black, it is no different than other hammers. It didn’t seem to do extra damage. Hitting fishes 30 times seems to confirm that there are no “chance on hit” triggered abilities. I guess I will give up trying to find out what it does for the time being.
“Alright, you guys keep fishing.”
I have converted our shit hole into a fishing hole. I ordered some goblins to dig a latrine hole just outside of the cave and forbid anyone to do their business in the ex-washroom. I can’t risk the contamination of our food source. On the first day of fishing, the goblins that I assigned struggled hard. After fishing for a whole day, they only caught four. Three of which escaped because of mishandling. After a while though, they got the hang of it. They caught ten today and the day isn’t even over yet. This will become our staple food source from now on. An additional benefit of fishing that I realized afterwards is that it can be easily done by male goblins. This way, we can station all the females as guards and soldiers to bolster our fighting potential.
I walked out of the cave surveying the construction progress of the stone fences. We have finished two layers of fences and starting on the third. The entrance of these fences are at the opposite ends of each other, creating a winding pathway. This will buy us time against the enemies so that we can snipe them with rocks from the top while they traverse in the impromptu maze. I got this idea from playing tower defense games when I was still a human.
Queenie noticed that I was at the mouth of the cave and ran up the ramp to greet me.
“My Lord, our scout came back reporting that there is still no changes to the situation. I have already sent out another scout yesterday to cover the returning scout at the scouting point.
“Good. Tell everyone that we have to keep up the high alert for another five days. We don’t know if they are trying to bide their time so that we will lower our defense or if they are taking a detour to evade our scout. After the five days is over, send a scout over to their cave to see what they are up to.”
Queenie went back down the ramp and gave instructions to some goblins. I muttered to myself as I head back inside. This was out of my prediction. My sense of paranoia is acting up. Did I read Sylva wrong? Did she lied about her mother’s personality? Did I miss something? It’s not that I am ungrateful for the few extra days of peace that we have. With these few extra days, we manage to secure a new food source and finish the second layer of fences. However, I know that this was a false sense of security. The threat of attack is still there. I need to talk with Sylva again.
When I got to our food storage, the princess was lying down on the floor. She lost her prideful attitude. She is clearly weakened compared to the first time I saw her. It was probably the combination of constant cold and hunger that enfeebled her. Now that our food situation has been stabilized, maybe I should feed her a bit more.
I put on my best “villain” act. Putting my hands behind me, I glared down at her from a superior position.
“What do you want?”
“Your mother still haven’t attacked yet. Maybe you don’t know your mother as well as you think you do.”
“My mother will attack. My mother will win. My mother will WIPE YOUR TRIBE OUT!”
Ok, I change my mind. I am not going to feed her a bit more. She still have a little fire left in her. I need to completely break her down. I think I am enjoying this villain role a bit too much. I don’t feel any guilt though. She did try to kill my whole tribe. An eye for an eye.
“I want your mother to attack. If you haven’t noticed, everyone here has been busy constructing just outside the cave. We have recently completed the trap. I know you can’t see it since you are in here, but take my word for it. The moment your mother attacks us is the moment that the rest of your tribe will be wiped out. Best of all, we won’t lose a single goblin.
I inserted a dramatic pause here, letting Sylva digest the information. She needs to know that she is doomed if her tribe attacks and she is stuck here as a prisoner if they don’t. Either way, she won't have a happy ending. After seeing her face changes and shows a bit of despair, I lead her around with a bit of false hope.
“I am not unreasonable, however. I do not enjoy needless killing. I can tell you exactly what I want, my goal for wiping out your tribe. I want those copper veins in your cave, Sylva. The copper will allow my bloodline to be strengthened in the future and greatly increase our fighting potential. Now if you can think of a way for us to obtain the copper without fighting using your position as the matriarch’s daughter, I am willing to negotiate. If we can strike a deal, we can work together as though we are one tribe. Of course, I can’t promise that I won’t kill anybody. However, I can promise that your bloodline will continue to flow.”
I put a few suggestive words and phrases in here. Hopefully, she is smart enough to figure out a solution on her own, one that is exactly what I want. If she is dumb as a door nail, I will have to say out loud the solution. I am trying to avoid this however, as it will weaken my bargaining power.
“Release me and I will see to it that your tribe won’t be wiped out. We can work out a trade agreement for the copper afterwards.”
“DON’T TAKE ME AS AN IDIOT!”
She flinches as I express my anger and raised my voice. Damn, the vulnerable Sylva is cute. This is no good, I need to go back to villain mode. I coughed a bit and pretended as though my anger have subsided.
“You are in no position to make demands of your release. Now, I…”
“MY LORD! OUR OTHER SCOUT IS BACK!”
“Ah, dear Sylva. I am sorry that I doubted your familiarity of your mother. It looks like she did attack after all. Just to let you know, you have 2 more days to think of a solution to our..... little quarrel before your mother reaches here. Just remember, when she reaches our cave, your tribe will be wiped out. They cannot save you. If you can’t think of a solution, you would have doomed your tribe.”
I walked slowly at first, like a true villain. As soon as I confirmed that Sylva couldn’t see me I ran out to the cave. Even though I act as if I am confident, I am very nervous about the attack. Acting as the villain in front of Sylva has become my stress release these days. In a weird way, it feels….. fun.
When I got to outside, I saw something I didn’t expect. There were three goblins holding our scout as an hostage. I am guessing that since there is three of them, they were the ones that escaped our fire attack. Everyone froze in their place. I looked for Queenie and signaled her to stay put. Even though that scout is disposable, I would rather not lose more man power if possible. We are stressed enough as it is. They yelled out their demands.
“WE WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOUR MATRIARCH. WE WISH TO NEGOTIATE.”
Did they somehow got the information from of our scout that we are holding their princess? I spoke with them from the mouth of the cave.
“You can speak with me if you want to negotiate.”
“Why would we speak with a weak male goblin?”
Not this shit again.
“I am their leader. I am a lot stronger than I look. Now, tell me what do you want?”
Even though I can guess that they want their princess back, it is better not to reveal my hand. Of course, if they did demand that and nothing else, I would immediately reject that and order everyone to kill them on the spot. If that is the case, sorry, random scout, your sacrifice will be remembered throughout the history of our tribe.
The three goblins looked at each other, strengthening their resolve to make the outrageous demand. One that I would have never considered they would make.
“WE WISH TO JOIN YOUR TRIBE.”