Author's note:

 Hint: the MC didn't see the system notice.

Also I made a small edit way back. Pseudo-penis is called a nara, and a male goblin penis is called a dara. There was a plot point later in the future that I was writing and I realize how silly it would have been if Queenie called it pseudo-penis

Chapter 17 - Useless worries

Day  22
***Goblin Cave***
***Goblin Attack Force***


          The 3 exhausted goblin emerged from the forest and ran up to a fallen bloodied goblin. The corpse was getting pecked by a murder of ravens. After chasing the ravens away, they turned the corpse over. They saw that his throat was slashed and was obviously dead. With his eyes still filled with fright, she closed his eyes in hoping that his soul will rest. It was clear that there were signs of a brutal fight everywhere. Arrows protruding from the ground, smoldering flames, broken spears and bodies littered the mouth of cave. The eldest goblin, the most level-headed one, ran inside the cave immediately check for survivors. The other two knelt outside the cave in disbelieve and despair.

          After five minute or so of deadly silence, the eldest goblin emerged from the cave, princess carrying a body with her. It was the body of their matriarch. Her face was filled with pain and agony but she dared not to cry. She needs to show strength and resolve to lead her two sisters. Stopping in front of the two other goblins, she laid down the body carefully.

"There are no survivors. The matriarch is dead."

"Not even the children?"


"It appears that this attack was lead by elves. There were some elven corpses inside the cave."


            The youngest one got up from her kneeling position, picked up a spear and ran towards the direction of the elven kingdom. The middle one immediately stopped her from doing so.

"What can one goblin do? You will only get yourself killed!"


             The youngest one wiped her tear soaked face as she spoke.


"...There is a way. An enemy of my enemy is a friend."

"What do you mean?"

"We need to convince the tribe that we just attacked that the elves are aiming for them. We can join their tribe."

"WE CAN'T JOIN THEM! They killed everyone!"

"We attacked them first. It is natural for them to defend. If anything, it was our tribes fault."

"Can't we join some other goblin tribes? Why does it has to be them?"

"They took out everyone without a single lost. Their leader is strong. I dare say, if our matriarch was in their position, even she would not have managed to do that."

          At this time, they noticed something approaching the cave. There were several caravans headed towards the cave filled with dwarves. The three naturally hid themselves from sight. When the caravan got close enough, all the dwarves disembarked from the caravan and knew exactly what exactly they are supposed to do. Some of them started removing derbies and dead bodies from the cave. Several of them started to set up a forge and anvil just outside the cave. The remaining dwarves heads into the cave with a pick axe. There was someone that stood out from the dwarves. It was an elf in a simple black robe. She stood out from the rest because of her height compared to all the dwarves.

"I have confirmed that the goblins have been cleared out of this copper mine. As per our agreement, 10% of the copper produced here will be transferred to the elfen kingdom for the next 5 years. After that, we will sell the copper at a reduced rate of 15% less than market price. Please sign the contract."

            A dwarf foreman handed the elf a scroll. She read it in silent for a few minutes.

"I have confirmed the content of the contract and I agree to the the terms."

          She took out a glowing blue dagger and sliced her thumb. A trickle of blood fell onto the scroll and it glowed with a soothing yellow light. After the light faded, she peeled the scroll, revealing another parchment underneath and handed it to the foreman. She reached out and shook the foreman's hand.

"Nice doing business with you."

           After hearing everything, the three goblins faded into the forest heading north, back where they came from.

Day  23
***Cani's Cave***

          I opened my eyes groggily and stared at the ceiling. I was covered with my own Ki'th. Looks like the guard returned it while I was asleep.

"You are awake!"

         A familiar voice rang in my ear. Queenie rushed me to give me a hug.

"What happened? How long was I out?"

"We found you in the washroom. It seems like you fell fainted in there. You were asleep for a whole day."

"The other tribe! Is there any movements from them?"

"No, scout that we stationed 2 days away from us didn't report anything yet."

"Did they came back to report that nothing happened or they didn't come back to report? There is a big difference."

"They came back to report that there is nothing happened."

          I gave a sigh of relieve. It seems that we still have a bit of time to acquire food. I feel completely refreshed now. It seems like that I over stressed myself and fell asleep from exhaustion.

"My lord, when we found you, you were holding this. Does this have to do with why you fainted?"

          Queenie handed me a hammer that was completely pitch black. It weighed about 3 pounds. It didn't even reflect a single shred of light. It was as if it was a black hole that sucked in all the surrounding light. Where did this came from? I tried to examine it carefully to see if I can find any clues. After studying it for a good minute or two, all I can conclude is that it is made out of material not of this world. Oi! Don't tell me that there is actually a goblin god in this world and he send this to me as a gift! Goblin god, you are just a convenient lie that I made up! Know your place and stay fictional. Queenie kept looking at me, expecting an answer. Shit, looks like I have to use the default excuse again.

"I think the goblin god gave it to me."

"The goblin god gave you a personal weapon to defend our tribe with? We are truly blessed!"

          Queenie happily rushed out to spread the news about the hammer, leaving me alone in the sleeping quarter. I got up, put on my Ki'th and head towards the washroom. Looks like humans aren't the only ones that need to drain the lizard first thing in the morning. I stood in front of the hole and whipped my dara out.


*splosh, splash*

           That was weird. That doesn't sound like piss hitting the underground river. I finished pissing into the hole and glared down at it to see what made those noise.

*Splash, splish*

             When I saw what caused the sound, I started laughing at the irony that our food situation would be solved from our shit hole.

About the author


  • Slayer of Soles


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