A female goblin was staring straight at me. Unlike all the other goblins I have met, her purple hair was considerably longer than other goblins. On top of that, not only she is wearing a fur apron, she also donned a silvery gray cape. It looks like it was made out of wolf pelt. Taking a closer look at her eyes, she wasn't really looking at me. She was looking at the piece of chicken that was cooking. She points at me with her crude spear made out of a shard of rock tied to a stick.
"What are you doing here?"
"I am roasting a chicken?"
It is evident that she was the goblin matriarch that our caretaker talked about. Behind her were five other goblins that were significantly smaller than her. Three of them were carrying an assortment of game birds, rabbits and rodents. The last two were shouldering a young fawn together. I thought that the hunting party was supposed to come back tomorrow. Seeing that I was caught red handed, I offered the golden brown chicken to her. As regrettable as it is to lose the tender juicy meat to her, I hope that this will put me on her good side so I can get out of any trouble. She sniffs the chicken a bit and her eyes widen. Grabbing the chicken skewer, she takes a small test bite, savored the taste, then wolfed down the rest of the chicken. Seeing that my gambit worked, I made another offer.
"You want me to cook some of those?"
"Where did you get that chicken? Why does it taste different than the chickens we eat?"
My guess is that hey have no idea what cooking is. Maybe I can use this to my advantage. Even though I don't know much, I tell the queen as much as I remember about cooking. I lived alone back when I was still a human. To save money on food, I had to learn how to do some basic cooking. I asked for one of the rabbits for demonstration purposes. Raising an eyebrow in skepticism, she handed it to me. I prepared the rabbit like I did with the chicken, skewered it on a stick and started roasting it.
"Now all we need to do it is wait."
A strong aroma of the rabbit wafts through the air. All the other goblins started to drool, watching the rabbit roast. Since I don't have experience cooking rabbits, I kept a close eye on the meat. After about 5 minutes, it was ready. I passed the rabbit skewer to the queen. She ripped off the rabbit drumstick and threw the skewer to the other goblins. Like a pack of wild dogs, they all fought for morsels of the rabbit.
"How do you like them? Do they taste good?"
"You aren't a full grown goblin yet right? You are not supposed to eat meat till you have hunted."
I replied with a bit of guilt. After taking a bite out of the drumstick, she gave the rest of the rabbit to me. I took a bite out of the rabbit with a mouth full of saliva. It was a bit stringy, but this is so much better than eating larvae. It was quite a while since I had proper food.
"When we get back to the cave, teach the other goblins how to cook as well."
Did I just get out of trouble scot-free? Quickly putting out the campfire, I followed her back home. When we got back, the queen spoke to my purple haired caretaker and headed to the sleeping quarter. The caretaker rushed over to me and conked my noggin hard, yelling at me at the same time.
"What sort of trouble did you get into? And what is this cooking that the queen talked about?"
“Ow, stop that.”
I obediently lead everyone to the forest floor and taught everyone how to start a basic fire, prepare and cook the meat. Everyone was surprised how much better cooked meat tasted. That night everyone had a great time feasting on cooked meat, except for the other children. I can see their hungry eyes staring down from the entrance with envy. The queen did not show up at the feast, though. She must be still sleeping, exhausted from the hunt.
"Wake up, the queen wants to speak with you!"
My caretaker exclaimed as I felt a gentle kick on my back. Shit, I thought I got out of the trouble from yesterday. It turns out, the Queen was just too tired to deal with me yesterday. I obediently followed my caretaker into the sleeping quarter. I saw that at the very back, there was a platform that was elevated about a feet from the rest of the room. The queen was sitting cross-legged on the platform. About ten other female goblins were sitting on the floor around the platform. I am willing to bet that the platform was her throne as there are no other goblins on it. I was led to the before the queen and told to sit on the floor. The room goes quiet.
"You are a full grown goblin now right?"
"How did you learn how to cook?"
"The goblin god told me in a dream."
I had no idea how I came up with that excuse. I tried to keep a straight face when I told this lie. They don't need to know that I was a human in the "past life." Who knows what type of complications that can cause me. There was a small murmur before it quiet down again.
"You know that we don't allow goblin children eat meat before their first hunt, correct? I heard from the caretaker that you are stronger than other female goblins from your litter. Is that why you disregard the caretaker? You think that you don't have to listen because you are stronger? "
"No, the goblin god told me to do it."
"Even if the goblin god asked you to do it, I will have to punish you. Ready yourself!"
As soon as she said that, she tackled me down to the floor and put me in a mounted position. She started to rhythmically punch my head. I raised my hands to protect my head.
"The weak must obey the strong."
"You cannot eat meat unless you have hunted."
"You must obey my commands!"
With every blow, she berates me. I can hear others in the room cheering for the queen. I was clearly the underdog. I stared at the queen’s cold eyes as she lay blow after blow. I don't really blame her for doing this. As a leader, she needs to maintain the order within the tribe and upheld the law. This is the best way to show dominance and strike fear into the would-be usurpers. I saw something else move below her face. Instinctively, I looked down. It was her breast, jiggling with every punch she dealt.
"Oh no, not now."
If there was a goblin god, he has a sick sense of humor. The more I try to not think about it, the worse it becomes. Every time she punched me, her thighs rubbed against my penis. I was getting more and more aroused. The queen stopped hitting me all of a sudden and have a startled look. Her face evolved into a devilish grin.
"You aren't qualified to be my mate. You are not even qualified to think about it!"
She reached behind and grabbed my penis with one of her hand and clamped down hard. I yelped as I almost faint from the pain and ecstasy as she threw another punch.
"Say you will submit to me and I will let this punishment end."
"No! I didn't do anything wrong!"
Gathering the last bit of pride in me, I rebelliously replied I still need to get out of this situation somehow. I am not much of a fighter, so I had to resort to what I learned from my human days. The only thing that I remembered that I know about fighting was those martial arts manga. Since I can only move my upper body, boxing manga would be the most relevant. A particular scene from the manga sprang to mind.
"You won't submit? Then eat another one!"
She raised her fist, ready to deliver another blow. Since one of her hand was grabbing my penis and she raised her fist to punch me, her guard was completely down. I figured this was the best chance for me to counter attack. I punched her chin as hard as I can.
" Gazelle Punch!"
My Chuunibyou side activated as I yelled out my attacks like one of those heroes in the manga. My punch connected to her chin with a thud. With the sound echoing throughout the cavern, everyone became quiet. The queen's eyes gradually rolled upward and lost her conscience. She fell right on my chest and laid on top.
"Um, can someone help me get her off of me?"