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Author's Note: This was rewritten. Revised chapters will have V2 next to the chapter name. Click Here to see V1


Chapter 3- Stage 1-1


*** Day 1***
*** Unknown Cave***
*** 29A***

System Message: Complete spawning NPC procedure. Deploying.


“WAIT! WAIT WAIT! I am not done looking at my stat page yet!”

            Before I can say anything else, the pure white room fades to black, and I fell out of consciousness.

*SLAP!*

         Someone rudely woke me up by slapping my ass. I have no idea how long I had been sleeping. In response to being hit, I screamed at the top of my lungs because of the pain. To my surprise, all I heard coming out of my mouth was cries of a baby. I tried to turn my body around to see if I can find out what slapped my ass, but couldn't because I felt enfeebled. I was so weak that I couldn’t even open my eyes. Something soft was pressed against my face to hush my crying. It seemed familiar. After a second or two, I finally realize what was happening. I was being breastfed.

"This will be awkward if my Mom is hot."

        My mouth was instinctively starting to suck the nipple, and it fills my cheek with breast milk. I sloshed the liquid in my mouth and swallowed it slowly as if I was taste testing Chardonnay. I knew at this point that I was an infant. I kept trying to open my eyes to see if I will have an awkward childhood, but my eyes were glued shut. As my stomach was filled with milk, I started to feel my consciousness drifting off once again.

"Is the milk roofied.."

***Day 2***
*** Unknown Cave***
***29A***

*Drip*

           I was awoken when I felt a drop of water splashing on my forehead. I opened my eyes and stared at a stalagmite on the ceiling of the cave. I could hear the sound of a light drizzle coming from the outside. It looked it was raining. A fat drop of water was dangling at the tip, ready to fire the torpedo once again.

*Drip*

          The water droplet hit me square in the forehead once again. Not willing to be caught by the droplet a third time, I tried to roll away to dodge the incoming missile. It was a futile attempt. My body was simply too weak to move.

*Drip*

         Grumbling about the situation like an old man, I tried to sit upright, but I was still not strong enough. I devised another plan. Using what little muscle strength I had, I rock myself back and forth like a turtle to flip myself over. I was desperate enough to try anything to escape from this Chinese water torture. It wasn't a pleasant feeling since the ground was covered with small rocks and pebbles.

*Drip*
        
"AHA! You didn't get me this time!"

         The water droplet was still in mid-air when I finally flipped over. I was barely able to dodge the last drop just in the knick of time. Smiling because of my escape from the torture,  I lay on my stomach, panting heavily to recover my stamina. After catching my breath, I tried to analyze my current situation. I recall seeing a status page of myself before respawning. It gave me an idea. Remembering some of the web novels and light novels that I have read, I tried several commands that might work since I am in a game.

“Status!”

“Menu!”

“Analyze!”

“Inspect”

         I tried to think hard on those words, but nothing happened. I tried again saying those words out loud, hoping to trigger something.

“Status!”

“Menu!”

“Analyze!”

“Inspect”

“Grrr. Still nothing. Ummm…. what the fuck? I can talk?”

          To my pleasant surprise, I was able to pronounce words accurately.  I could talk even when I was a baby. Is it because I retained my memory, or is it something that goblins can talk right away from birth? Either way, I should keep my mouth shut until I figure out what’s going on. I don’t want to get into trouble that I can avoid. Seeing that there was no way to call out my stats menu, I tried to recall what I saw to the best of my memory.

Personality #29A
Name:N/ARace:Goblin
Title:N/ATribe:Stone Age
Strength:Above AverageDexterity:Average
Constitution:Above AverageIntelligence:Average
Endurance:Below AverageCharisma:Above Average
Wisdom:ExceptionalLuck:Below Average
Abilities:Leadership, Gamer's Mind


            I did not have trouble picturing the stats menu in my mind at all. Before I died, I remember having trouble remembering anythings. It was one of the reasons I was not the greatest when it comes to studying. Did my intelligence improve compared to before? And since when I can deduce things so logically? I have to give an educated guess; it would be because my wisdom is now exceptional.

         I decided to move on to another important issue. I was respawned as a goblin. I feel a bit conflicted in regards to this. On one hand, me being a goblin means that after the update, this world has fantasy race in it. Being an avid gamer, the prospect of being a protagonist and exploring an unknown world, filled with magic makes me ecstatic.  On the other hand, why the hell does it have to be a goblin? Why couldn't I have respawned as a dragon or an elf? Goblins are smelly, crude and ugly. Worst of all, they are the fodders of the monster world. Well at least if we go by the standard gaming tropes.

"WAAAAAAAHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH"

         A banshee cry echoed throughout the cave, interrupting my train of thoughts. Looking around, I found out that It was coming from another baby goblin that shared the same room with me. There were a dozen other baby goblins in the same room as well. I guess this cavern is the maternity ward for my tribe.

"WWAAAAAHHHHH WAAHHHH WAAHHH!"

A few more of the other babies joined the inferno chorus.

"God damn it. Can you guys shut up? I am coming with the food already."

         Still lying on my stomach, I was barely able to turn myself towards the sound using my feeble baby arms. I saw a shadow approached the cave’s entrance. It was a female goblin strolling in to take care of the children. With a bare chest, she wore nothing except for a piece of silverish-white fur, tied around her waist like a half-apron. She strolled in with one of her hands lifting the end of the half-apron, forming a makeshift basket. In the half-apron basket, I could see that she was carrying something white towards us. She didn't lift her apron high enough to show anything indecent. With that train of thought, should I be hoping that there is nothing underneath the apron? I closed my eyes and prayed. Slowly, I raised my head up towards her face to take a look.

"Please don't be those ugly goblins like the ones from Magic: the Gathering. One time God, One time!"

I hold my breath and slowly peeked at one of my eyes. She was, in a word, acceptable. You cannot call her beautiful, but she is not ugly. I guess you can say that she is kind of cute. Her skin was mint green with a short tomboyish blue hair. She had large pointy ears that could have easily mistaken as her having two green pigtails. I am pretty sure I have seen character drawings that were like her from DeviantArt.

"It's not perfect, but I will take that.  6.5 out of 10 would bang. Thank you, God, for not making us the ugly type of goblin. Hallelujah, Amen. Now that I think about it, I should thank the game devs since they are the gods of this world."

         She started to feed the white stuff that was on her half-apron to other children. I couldn't see what it is, but I have a bad premonition. The white thing was still moving. This cannot end well. When it was my turn, I saw what the white thing was. It was a live larva of some insect as big as my human thumb. She dangled the worm in front of me like I was a pet, expecting me to beg for food. I slapped it out of her hand. I am not going to eat that thing. She let out an annoyed grunt before picking up the larva from the ground and jammed it into my mouth. At first, I was horrified, trying to spit the larva back out. But after I accidentally bit into it, I thought to myself:

"Slimy, yet satisfying. It is not that bad. Damn, I was hoping to get breast fed by her, though."

         She shoved a few more larvae in my mouth and moved on to another child. After feeding all the kids, take a quick look around to see if any is still crying. Seeing none, she walked out of the cavern. Left with a room full of sleeping children and nothing else to do except staring at the stalagmite filled ceiling, I started to analyze about my stats page again.

         What do my abilities do? I remember I have an ability "Gamer's Mind." I don’t have much to go on except for the name. It has to be something that was affecting the way I think. There is one thing that I am sure, though. This ability has to be something carried over when I was still human. There was no reason for me to gain an ability like this while I was respawned as a goblin. This revelation led me to the next theory.

“The stats that I had as a human was carried over to this life as a goblin.”

         Somehow, the update caused a bug when I was respawned. Because of the bug, the hidden numerical value that I had as a human was added to the numbers that I rolled as a goblin. It was the reason all of my stats jumped a grade when everything was finalized. With the epiphany that I had become a cheat character, I drifted off to the dreamlands.
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damancy

  • Slayer of Soles

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