The Forbidden Princess

by soundsofhysteria

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Drama Fantasy Female Lead High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters Ruling Class Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

In a world of magic, there are those that embrace it and those that vilify it. Cateline Bennett, a princess from the Kingdom of Axulran who has concealed her magic her entire life, is thrust into the world her lineage has spent centuries slandering. Forced to adapt to a new reality far from the royal palace, she must learn how to cooperate with peasants, how to survive a world full of magic, and how to fight in order to live.

As she traverses the Kingdom of Traburg, her newfound friends dig up a darker secret resting beneath their feet that threatens the world as they knew it. Together, they must discover a way to counter these threats; lest they, and all they know, will crumble to ruin.

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soundsofhysteria

soundsofhysteria

Brianna

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Traitorman
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The Royal Treatment

Reviewed at: 11. Awakening

This is a developing story about a princess and her cold awakening into the world outside of comfortable bower she knew. 

There's intrigue about, but at its heart, this is shaping up to be a story of personal growth and mystery.

Style
A strong point of the novel, the author has good description with poetic flourishes throughout, which draws the eye. Certain things are describe in great detail to add flesh to a scene.

Grammar
Grammar is good, and does not ruin clarity.

Story
The story thus far has our princess departing her home after a tragedy and heading to an academy fo magic. There's been intrigue thus far, but a small issue is that the pacing of the story can go from light-speed to a crawl very quickly, leaving some parts uneven. 

There is an extended flashback sequence that follows a cliff hanger that maybe trying for some readers to get through if they're dying to know the cliffhanger's resolution.

Other than that, things are shaping up well.

Character
Characterization for main protagonist is very well done, leaving you with a deep understanding of her as a character. You know her outlook, her flaws and how background as sheltered royalty helped to generate all of them.

Other characters are a bit thinner so far, but we are learning aboiut them over time. 

Conclusion
This has the bones of a good story about magic and growing as a person under tough circumstances.

I think this is one to watch.

parkertallan
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The first thing that struck me about "The Forbidden Princess" is the richly detailed writing which evokes the Middle Ages time period of the story. However, instead of bogging the story down, the descriptions push the story forward resulting in a fast paced fun read.

And the heroine, Princess Cateline, is no cardboard cutout. She can be petulant and naive, but possesses an inner strength that pushes her to be more than a mere trophy. We see her inner turmoil as she deals with the magical abilities she's hidden her entire life and learns that being royalty doesn't mean a whole lot in the real world. 

And this Princess can bring it as we see in the very first chapter. Even by the fifth chapter, we're starting to see signs of upcoming events that will impact not only our heroine, but her kingdom as well. All this just whets my appetite for more.

Redeyes Eclipse
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I found it very fast paced and not one of the dragged out novels that hard to see any development. Yes the princess took out a vampire like it was fodder but hey magic am I right. Her views and likes are girly and as a man I have no understanding of the opposite sex a man truly never does but hey I find it insightful. All in all I enjoyed this novel.

Thedude3445
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A New Story to Watch Out For

Reviewed at: 7. Paralysis

The Forbidden Princess is still new, but it has a lot of potential; if you're looking for a new story to follow, you should give this story a chance.

The story so far has been pretty standard--it's about a princess who has magic powers and goes to a magical academy to hone her powers. A lot of stories on Royal Road go the joining-a-magical-school route, but this story has one up on the others by having a nice writing style.

I often complain about the flat and boring writing on Royal Road, but sometimes, as I noted with my review of As the Godking Wills, you actually get writers who give description with sensory detail and prose with personality. This story is along those same lines. Good writing goes a real long way in making any story enjoyable.

It's still too early to judge whether this will be a huge success story for fantasy on Royal Road, but I feel real optimistic about it for now. 

Avery Light
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Magical princess story

Reviewed at: 9. Midnight Stroll

First things first, the number one good thing about this story is the writer's description. The prose illustrate the scene of the novel very nicely. The first chapters are fast-paced but slowed down quickly.

There's also a map, yes, a map this early in the story. This depict far-reaching worldbuilding and lore. Nice world-building.

The MC and the supporting cast clearly had their own personalities and it shows. Not many could write with such skill.

Still early and not that much chapter but we could be in for a ride and I hope great things in the future.

RiahWeston
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Who says I can't enjoy a princess with magic?

Reviewed at: 6. Lightning

Loving this story! Honestly I'm really glad I caught a wind of so early on. It's obvious that a lot of effort has been put into this story and it's every single chapter, and I applaud the author for that! 

No issues with grammar from I can see.

Strong characters with distinct personalities

Great style and story, all I can wish for at this point is more fleshed out plot.

What can I say? Go ahead and read it!

MrBadWithNames
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Alright, let me start off by saying I'm not really somone who reads the kind of princessy-romance stuff.

However as of chepter 7, the story really seems well realised, even for somone like me.

 

The amount of effort put into the story is evident, every chapter has a little "Chapter-x" header, plus the little breaks in the story with "Love, ency & magic" is really nice.

I'm happy to say the prologue chapter is essentially just a map and a paragrapth, so that's nice - I always love a good map! 

 

The grammar is basically perfect, not much to say about that.

 

Something I like about the story is the pace, it's quick but not too fast, if that doesn't sound cool to you then rest assured the author adressed this in a comment saying things would slow down.

 

The language is despriptive and gives you a good idea of what's going on, nothing too spectacular, everything is easy to grasp, especially the magic.

 

I'm giving the character score a 5/5, not because I like the MC... it's safe to say I dislike snobby character a fair bit, but while the personality is "eh~", it's all written really well, so I can't fault the story for me not liking a pincess acting like a princess.

I don't know if there will be any more main character anytime soom, so I'll just say the other characters, while short on screen time seem alright and a whole lot more likable.

 

 

Good luck with the story to the author, keep in mind this story kind of falls out of the generic isekai / levelling niche of RoyalRoad, so you might want to just stock up on reviews and figure out a good time to publish, 18:06 IST works best for me, though varrying it a bit is also good.

don't publish shortly before the next hour or you'll get burried under all the schedueled releases, so 5 or 6 minutes after the hour starts is a good time in my experience.

 

CoffeeQuills
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Not Forbidden for Reading - Enjoyable and Promising

Reviewed at: 6. Lightning

Great grammar, the few things I've seen are those little typos that slip by even when the words have been read thrice over. Consistent characters dominate, and nice to see is that they act on their thoughts and beliefs.  

Story is a little short at seven chapters, but holds promise as it continues. Style is probably the hardest review to give my thoughts on... there are a few places were the wordplay can be better, which keeps putting me off from being sucked in completely. However, those places are far, few, and honestly differ between readers, so I'm not dinging a point. And the little details of the world are gorgeous. 

If you enjoy different races working together, seeing a character nurture their growth, and want to read about a strong female lead while having other fleshed-out characters, then read The Forbidden Princess. 

Eli Bees
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The descriptions are phenomenal!

Reviewed at: 2. Fire & Ice

This story is just phenomenal. It's the kind of fantasy novel that I look for. The descriptions of detailed but not too much. It still leaves something to the imagination, which I personally enjoy. I really love the development of Cateline, she's so young and naive yet she has a spark to her that's waiting to be seen. Especially the scene in the ball room with the elf. This author does an amazing job of hooking you right from the beginning. I've read work by Soundsofhysteria on another platform, but I'm so glad I found her here! I can't wait to read more. Excellent! Excellent work! 

Vera Anne Wolf
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Potent Potential that needs a bit of Polishing

Reviewed at: 5. Failed Magic

Review Exchange up to Chapter 5 (10k words)

Overall Score: 5 The story begins with an easy pace, then *bang* Cateline's facing suitors, *bang* there's an assassin, *bang* Cateline's been kicked out. I didn't really get a moment to settle in and explore her world. The further I progressed, however, the more the plot pulled me in, especially the magic of it. The academy, Cateline learning to control her magic, the vicious plants, the other students, all do a particularly good job of intriguing me.

The writer's description for magic is honestly what I love most about this story. So, if you love magic and the potential it has to change the world, this is a book worth trying out.

Style Score: 4.5 There were a few times the writer’s choice in words made me stop and assess what message she was trying to convey. Also, the writer shifts from past to present tense quite frequently. I put this under style because it's consistent throughout so I wouldn’t consider it a grammar thing as much as a choice thing. Which I wouldn't mind, but sometimes it made the reading a bit awkward.

Story Score: 4.5 There were moments were actions and consequences didn’t exactly pan up. Mostly the idea that Cateline’s parents were basically “pretend she wasn’t a witch and hope for the best” then when she finally preformed magic (to save their life no less) they ship her to another kingdom to be taught by an Elf (after they were almost assassinated by one because of their association to the massacre to said elves). I mentioned this a bit more in-depth in my comments.

Grammar Score: 5 The closest complaints I had for this were covered in Style Score. Nothing else really jumped out at me.

Character Score: 4.5 Lack of emotion. I know this is something the writer is working on with Cateline. I will adjust my score at a later time to reflect this when she does.

I do intend to come back and read more so I will likely edit my review at a later date for that reason, or because the writer has fixed the above-mentioned areas. I do think this is a good Fantasy-Magic story that is worth checking out in either case.