Tesla's Cocktail

by Galaxy_Wizard

Original ONGOING Action Horror Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead LitRPG Male Lead Post Apocalyptic Urban Fantasy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Our hero is a murderer 8 years into a life sentence, involved in gangs to survive. How could he be the hero? Because he killed for revenge, got stabbed before he joined a gang, and is now just trying to survive.

Cover Art by Andrés Nieto Porras

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  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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  • Pages :
  • 114
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  • Overall Score

The story is first person and comes off as very "stream of consciousness" instead of a cohesive narrative. One can deliberately shoot for that, but this just feels like the author is writing whatever comes to mind.

I could see there being a passage with, "Oh looks like an owl is chasing me, I'll just kill that, nope it's a monster, okay I'm going to run, there's a building in the distance I'll head for that, shit my leg is shot" and it would totally fit in with the rest of the author's writing.

Besides that, the way the "system" functions is odd and incoherent, the MC's thoughts and actions aren't easy to follow, other characters come off as caricatures instead of believable, etc.

Needs a lot of work.

DarkMage 01
  • Overall Score

Interested in seeing where this goes

Reviewed at: 13

The chapters are a bit short but it's an interesting system and I'm interested in seeing where this goes.

Winged Thing
  • Overall Score

As it stands this is an uncut gem.

Reviewed at: 24

With refinment, minor editing here and there, this novel could become a juggernaut in the same way The Genesis System is. Good bones exist here and if proper care is taken, then what is already an enjoyable read could become something truly special. Im looking forward to the future of this novel, really, I am.