The Menocht Loop

by caerulex

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Psychological High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Strong Lead

Additional tags: OP protagonist, time loop, character-focused


Ian Dunai has been trapped in a nightmarish loop filled with contagion, captives, and decemancy for the past three or four years. In that time, he's become a master of decemancy with the ability to control dead matter, whether dried leaves, yellowed skeletons, or hulking corpses.

Little does he know, he's just been stuck on layer one.


Release schedule: Tues-Thurs-Sat releases (3 chapters/week) at 11:30 am EST. 

Note: The Menocht Loop's first draft is complete at over 80k words. As an exercise in forcing myself to revise this draft in a timely manner, I will be posting a new chapter here every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. The sequel is in progress and currently sits at about 60k words. There is not yet romance in the 140k words I've written of this fiction between both books, but it is planned.

Constructive criticism welcome. Alternative synopses also welcome. If you're interested in helping me proofread/edit, reach out and we can talk.

Join the discord.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 491,853
  • Average Views :
  • 12,944
  • Followers :
  • 5,345
  • Favorites :
  • 1,300
  • Ratings :
  • 1,402
  • Pages :
  • 331
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
caerulex

caerulex

The Timeless

Achievements
3rd Anniversary
Word Count (14)
50 Review Upvotes
Good Reviewer (V)
1,000,000 Views
5,000 Followers
Top List #4
1,000 Comments
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
GunsOfPurgatory
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

How is this not illegal?

Reviewed at: 28. Leviathan

Like, really, most addictive substances are illegal, so why isn't this one?! I never was one for time loop stories, but this one had me hooked immediately. On to the review:

 

Style & Grammar Scores

Both the style and grammar of this story are amazing. The author is clearly more than fluent in English, to the point where I'm not bogged down reading the same words or phrases repeated over and over again.

 

Character Score

I'm giving this 4.5 stars instead of 5, not because of any deficiency on the author's part, but rather because the story is still just beginning, in all honesty. If I was just judging the main character, I'd give it a 5. However, since we have recently been introduced to the 2nd MC (and some seemingly important side characters), I plan on waiting a little longer to see how their characters develop before editing the character score further.

 

Story Score

So far the story is absolutely amazing. We know that there is a reason Ian entered the loop, though we still don't know what that reason is. I was tempted to give the story 4.5 stars, but decided against it, for the same reason that I didn't give the character score 5 stars. The story so far is amazing, and has yet to leave me dissapointed. However, if you aren't willing to wait and deal with the suspense of finding out the "why" behind the events of the Menocht Loop (which I imagine occurs is Book 2), then perhaps this story isn't for you.

Silentshinigami
  • Overall Score

A very well written begining that has instantly hooked me in with an intriuging system of magic that i can't wait to find out about. Hopefully this will be able to develope into a new favourite of mine now that mother of learnings finished. :)

RationalMind
  • Overall Score

Professional writing quality. Looking forward to the next chapters.

Recommended for people who are looking for a serious, non-goofy protagonist.

uictoriam4
  • Overall Score

An excellent time-loop fiction

Reviewed at: 27. Hor'Well

This one is hard not to recommend. The time loop is interesting and very well executed. The MC is OP but the reasoning for that is pretty good.Character execution is also top-notch ,and  interactions are not just one dimensional. It is, in fact similar in quality and feel to Mother of Learning(btw another great fic) but the magic and world are wildly different and still very well organised with affinities and all ,and it feels really well balanced.

We have here a College kid trapped in a time-loop who is searching for a way to get out of the loop. The technology setting is modern with magitech equivalent of our devices. The MC slowly evolves and learns more about the magic time loop(s) he is trapped in.

All in all an excellent read by a talented author.Recommended for time-loop fans and anyone who likes a decent fantasy read of an OP main lead

 

jjkyxr
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I love time loop stories. Love them. But I think I was spoiled after reading Mother of Learning. The concept of a time loop story within a magical setting makes a lot of sense. This story rolls with it but I realized early on that this story... it's just low quality. Not terrible, just unsatisfying. Even using my favorite plot device. The most obvious way to tell would be to just look at the characters and their interactions.

I believe the hardest part of making a good story is having realistic characters and having a few that your readers will connect with strongly. But to get there, you'll need to make them believable. Each characters' past and ideology dictating what they'll say and do. Our author seems to just slap dialogues down to move the story along. No humor, no quips, no subtly, no life to the dialogues. Comparing the characters between this story and MoL makes it obvious the attention to character detail. Even more so since the MCs have very similar Myers-Briggs types.

Another aspect I don't know why the author tossed out of the story was intrigue. MoL did a great job of stringing along veils of mystery throughout the story progression. This one has unnecessary reveals for only the reader.

This story is definitely a character story at heart, but when your characters are flat, it all becomes boring to read.

magescape
  • Overall Score

61,000 words in and still enjoying it :)

Reviewed at: 7. Potentioreader

Caerulex has the creativity and stamina to write great stories. I'm 61,000 words into The Menocht Loop and still enjoying it! Keep up the good work, I'll be reading along and clicking refresh :)

Scarlust
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Overated fiction but quality character study

Reviewed at: 33. A Plausible Theory

At it's core, 'The Menocht Loop' is a character study.

Recommended for readers who like:

  • Character development
  • Stories exploring psychology
  • Time loops
  • Mystery
  • Overpowered Protagonist (Note: Very little action though)

Not recommened for:

  • Levelling up
  • Battle Junkies
  • Worldbuilding (Note: Interesting world but not explored well)
  • Intrigue
  • Refined writing

 

It's protagonist has been trapped in a time loop for years, all the while learning the darker arts concerning the dead to grow stronger out of necessesity in order to escape. After finally managed to break free of the loop only to discover that it was just the first of multiple layers.
 
The writing is an interesting look into the character and how being trapped within the time loop has effected them personally. There are many interesting philosophical questions that the author, Caerulex, allows the character and story bring to our attention. The protagonist's development as a character is subtle but it is golden. In this respect it is truly a brilliant piece of character writing.

On the other hand, whilst it is a good fiction on the whole, reviewers from Caerulex's other fiction Apex Predator, and readers from the recently finished Mother of Learning who are looking for more time loops have drastically overhyped this story. Whilst it is has been Good enough to keep me reading, I would be hesistant to suggest that it is Great and I feel as though people looking for advice in the reviews should be aware of that going in to avoid betrayed feelings.


Here are some comments and critiques of the story so far. Be aware that there are some minor spoilers regarding the content. I have avoided anything story ruining but if you want to avoid them entirely, I advise you skip 1.

Spoiler

 As a final note: 
Do not read the comments on chapters because the author has put so many spoilers about future plot. Like I'm up to the most recent chapter and I already have parts spoiled for me. No joy is to be gained from reading them.

dosithee
  • Overall Score

Absolutly fabulous. Constant action. Consistently good writing, style, voice, etc. 

Dailogue is a bit dry, but still good. 

The world building is imense.

Thanks so much mr. Author

Carson6319
  • Overall Score

Its Enjoyable But Can Leave You A Bit Lost

Reviewed at: 29. Germaine on a Train

Its fun to read and I am definately keen to read more as its comes out. 

The premise is cool and its is interesting how powerful yet powerless the MC is. 

In terms of flaws, the story can leave you a bit stranded on some things. I personally dont mind its as I tend to get glassy with too much information. That said, what time period technology wise are we in? What is a gloss, some kind of smarth phone? Is the sword an Ai? Do Ai exist throughout society? 

I imagine alot of these questions may be answered as the story goes on but we will see. 

 

FakeMask
  • Overall Score

I'm just so confused

Reviewed at: 5. Getting Away

So this story started one month ago and recently it exploded in popularity. As I write this review it is both among the "Popular this week" and first on "Trending". For a while it was even among the Top 5. Needless to say, after I noticed that I was curious and decided to read it.

And I wouldn't say I was disappointed but... it didn't really live up to expectations?

Don't misunderstand, the story is good and there are no glaring flaws I can point out, it is quite well written. I just don't think it's as good as people are making it out to be. The characters have personality but overall lack depth, the story is intriguing but the foreshadowing isn't that great, the worldbuilding seems to have a few minor inconsistences and the MC is unreasonably over powered.

In the end I could keep reading as the fiction isn't really bad only a bit lacklustre, but it just didn't really appeal to me in any way. It's above average, but it doesn't exactly feel like a passion project, like one of those stories that is unreasonably good because the author put his heart and soul into it.

I don't know, am I the only one feeling this way? I've been scrolling through the other reviews as I wrote this and all of them seem to be overwhelmingly positive, a few mention Mother of Learning and I couldn't help but wonder if this story got so popular because MoL recently ended, but I somehow didn't get that feeling. I also had this hypothesis that maybe it became much better later on, but a lot seem to have read up to the same point I have stopped at, and nothing seems really ground-breaking or top-notch to me.

In the end it's a good read I'm just weirded out because I don't understand why it's held in such high regard.