Kingdom of Mallic

by Brian

Original HIATUS Fantasy High Fantasy Magic Male Lead School Life Slice of Life Strong Lead

Currently posting 1,000+ words every Friday.

The Kingdom of Mallic is a land of magic, border wars, and new frontiers.

To the north are the Cold Lands, ruled by cruel isolationist dwarves. They raid for supplies continually. Every effort to remove them has failed. No army that has marched north ever returns.

To the south are the vast Jungles of Terror, which are home to barbaric elves. Every elf that is facing their Coming of Age ritual or seeks further status requires the torture and sacrifice of an elf from another tribe, a human, or a dwarf. Their numbers are staggering, causing great fear of them becoming more organized.

The Kingdom settled on the west coast of a vast continent between the waring dwarves and elves. It has slowly grown eastward into a land of unexplored and dangerous frontiers. Those forces are always pushing the Kingdom back.

Within this Kingdom, a boy seeks to master magic and become a great mage, but others are not so willing to let him rise. What lengths will he have to go to survive?

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Word Count (VII)
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue 1 - Leaving for the Festival ago
Prologue 2 - Callie ago
Prologue 3 - Mage Testing ago
Prologue 4 - Telling Father ago
Prologue 5 - Deal Made ago
Chapter 1.1, 1.2 - Graduation - Assembly, Submittals ago
Chapter 1.3 Graduation - Dean Weber ago
Chapter 1.4 Graduation - Leaving the Student Dorm ago
Chapter 2.1 Finding a Home - Key Delay ago
Chapter 2.2, 2.3 Finding a Home - Dusty, Searching ago
Chapter 2.4 Finding a Home - Walls ago
Chapter 2.5 Finding a Home - Student Aid Board ago
Chapter 2.6 Finding a Home - Home Sweet Home ago
Chapter 3.1 Research Testing - Preparing ago
Chapter 3.2, 3.3 Research Testing - Oh So Unprepared, Decisions ago
Chapter 3.4 Research Testing - Testing the Ritual ago
Chapter 4.1 Returning to Problems - Dealing with My Rabble ago
Chapter 4.2, 4.3, 4.4 Returning to Problems - Letter Home, Dragon's Tougue, Self Recrimination ago
Chapter 5.1 No Surrender - New Plans ago
Chapter 5.2 No Surrender - Offerings to the Kingdom ago
Chapter 5.3 No Surrender - Wish List ago
Chapter 6.1, 6.2 A New Life - Restart, Leaving the School ago
Chapter 6.3 A New Life - Royal Bank ago
Author Note for Chapter 9+ ago
Chapter 6.4 A New Life - Viscount's Mansion ago
Chapter 6.5 A New Life - Forward March ago
Chapter 6.6 A New Life - Back at the Barony ago
Chapter 7.1 Getting Settled - Horrors ago
Chapter 7.2 Getting Settled - Light Games ago
Chapter 7.3 Getting Started - Family ago
Chapter 8.1 How Could This Happen - Move Fast ago
Chapter 8.2 How Could This Happen - More Soldiers ago
Chapter 8.3 How Could This Happen - Sienna ago
Chapter 8.4 How Could This Happen - Vistor ago
Chapter 8.5 How Could This Happen - Awakining ago

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The story is a standard 'young genius mage slice of life'. Characters other than the MC are somewhat fleshed out. I was a bit disappointed that the author skipped the school arc, otherwise the pacing is alright. Now my biggest gripes - Money and the library.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 In conclusion, with a bit of a polish and direction, it can be good.

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Fluent in language at 4 years old. Impossibly mature and competent at 12. Unfathomably stupid by sharing everything with random women, because of course they're women and Women Are Wonderful.

I can handle "too smart, too young" characters, but more toxic feminist bullshit where all the female characters need to be worshipped as gods and all the men exist to provide worship is where I draw the line.

MC is a simp, and I'd bet money that literally every other male character in the story is also going to be a simp. Do not read this.

  • Overall Score

MC is a good person, intelligent and hard working. Talented, but not outrageously OP.

Writing is smooth, short of few typos here and there, but the story is boring.
Its a slice of life with little to no excitement. Everything just goes according to the plan, everything works out. No challenge, no reason to care. 

I understand, than living good life is desirable, and the boons MC recieves are well earned by his hard work. But a good life is not the same as a good story. 

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How are readers supposed to empathize and care about a 12-year-old when its a story breaking problem...

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Interesting start - first person narration, slice of life fantasy grad school

Reviewed at: Chapter 3.1 Research Testing - Preparing

The author is clearly a skilled storyteller, but is very much used to letting his audience fill in details themselves.  The first person storytelling style took a little bit for me to get used to but it is very well done.   I would suggest that either the "School Life" or "Slice of Life" tags should apply to the work to date.

Good:  Excellent grammar, logical MC who is building his power smoothly, hints of what may eventually become the plot  

Bad:  Not clear who is the antagonist here - some mild bullying by a flunky does not make for great drama.  Mild disapproval of some of his former teachers and current colleagues doesn't count either.  We also don't have great physical descriptions - this applies to most of the characters, the local architecture, etc.  We don't even have any significant secondary characters at this point who are recognizable by the reader.

Ugly:  As of the date of this review, more than a couple of the tags are fundamentally misleading, especially "dungeon", "ruling class" and/or "strategy".  The description, while interesting, fundamentally doesn't capture where the story has gone/is going to date.  There have been no threats to the MC's life, no sign of dwarves or elves.  Indeed, we've only seen the MC at home/in his home town in the prologue and at/around school in the main body and have seen nothing of the larger world.  The discussion of the mandatory military service for mages doesn't even talk about the ongoing wars in question.