Magic-Smithing

by kosnik4

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Female Lead GameLit Gender Bender High Fantasy Magic Reincarnation Slice of Life Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Full disclosure, the cover image isn't mine. Check out the full image here.

I put all the warning tags to give myself creative freedom, but I'm not going to write a story filled with gore or swearing.

This is my first time writing, other than for school projects. I put the gender-bender tag because I wanted to try writing from a female's perspective, and needed an excuse for why my MC reads a little tomboyish. The gender-bender fades into the background over the first few chapters, please don't let the tag keep you away from trying out my story.

Synopsis:

Second chances are rarely earned, and even rarer given. Follow a new life in a new world, where anything is possible. Our MC wakes up, stuck as a baby, needing to decide how she will live her new life. Let's see what future she can forge for herself, when hard work is rewarded with status points and skill levels.

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  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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kosnik4

kosnik4

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rmullins
  • Overall Score

Good effort, keep it going.

Reviewed at: Ch: 20.5

Hitting second place on trending means you are doing something right. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you need to massively change this up now that it's gaining popularity. You got this far because your existing process has been working, so keep at it.

 

Too many authors give up the moment they hit trending and the torrent of .5 star reviews come in from trolls and jealous authors. This story looks like it has a lot of potential so please ignore reviews if that will help you maintain your momentum as a writer. Keeping momentum seems to be the key to success from all the most successful stories I've seen on here.

A finished story of even the lowest quality is way more impressive than a masterpiece on hiatus.

Please keep at it regardless of positive or negative comments.

Endless Paving
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High Fantasy Isekai Adventure LitRPG

Reviewed at: Ch: 21

Not that I'm the best reviewer in terms of giving an "unbiased" rating and serious cirtique instead of just whatever praise or recommendation I feel most appropriate, but I feel like I have to be more critical in how I rate this story for the sole reason that I feel like it deserves more than just mere praise. Since the Author seems to be fairly "new" as these things go serious critique holds value that pure encouragement can't. Plus all my reviews are pretty glowing and I want to be a better reviewer that can say more than just a blanket "this gud" for some of my favourite stories.

This story has several flaws that were im,ediately obvious. First off is the story blurb, the "synopsis" that advertises the fiction. It's basically not even there. It's a long spiel about the author's motives and choices spanning four paragraphs and then a small elevator pitch at the end that tells me basically nothing. Frankly I can figure lut more about the story from the title and genre tags alone, and it arguably doesn't even have all the appropriate tags since it doesn't mention (though it's so obvious it doesn't really need to tbh) that the story is isekai/portal-fantasy in another magical world.

(Short aside, spilling your motives and reasonings up front like that isn't exactly a bad thing, and I'll just say that I've read one or two books with some psycology trivia that might even suggest it could easily garner loads of goodwil and tolerance and create a space of "trust" etc etc. this is getting off topic)

When you start reading the book you get the first chapter (the prologue basically) which has some of the issues prologued usually have (quite understandible, I blazed right through it no prob) such as not immediately being compelling to read, loads of (utterly pointless to the story) exposition, none of it really being important to the story at all, jumoing around from the "present" time to the "past" (the prologue story is the past, and time hopping is usually a bit problematic since it's hard to avoid it being awkward). Finally my last complaint is that the backstory protagonist is rather bland and even has a very predictable mentality and reaction going into the story proper with the (pretty mich cliche) reaction of "oh no! What have I lost! I mourn the thing that I have lost and it took me super long to figure out even though anyone who's genre savvy will know it was super obvious. These are anime archetypal tropes 101 stuff here. 

Going into the story proper you learn quickly that the book is very character focused, and not all that plot focused. The story takes its time to get to the next big plot development and tends towards slice of life rather than "skipping" lots of "growth". When I first caught up to the latest chapter, the MC hadn't even gotten to doing even themost basic kind of thing that was alluded to into the on-the-nose title of the book, only the things needed to do the things to learn how to do the thing. It's a patient book is my point.

Now since this is acharacter focused slice of life story that likes to take it time, the most annoying flaws would be character and dialogue focused flaws, since those are given the most page time. The characters and interractions are, quite frankly, very high quality for a first book attempt. The are thecore that keeps the story engaging to read through 21 (as of now) chapters. My major complaint for what should  be improved is the character interactions is a bit "awkward" at times. Like two puppets talking to each other and reacting as if from a pre-written script instead of having a normal reaction time to process what others say and what to say in reply. This is not a thing easily described, or conveyed, but I feel it is there and needs some practice in improving.

In terms of the plot there isn't much to say, because there isn't much. This story doesn't rush i to having a lot of plot development, and what has happened feels like it's only scratching the surface about what the plot will actually develop into. What I can say is that the author isn't scared to disrupt the status quo of the story, and does so quite rapidly and effectively at times. Sudden developments that heighten the tension between characters and create various kinds of conflict big and small, silly and serious, social and existential. This story knows how to hold it's patience but doesn't keep itself from pulling on it's strings and dragging you along without warning. Much of the conflict is short lived and the tension can quickly lower again within a chapter or less, which means events happening a few chapters before are quickly left behind for new things to focus on and to hold your attention. The plot is young and lively, amd I'm inclined to let it go at it's pace and let big things happen when they wanr to.

Overall I'd say this story thrives in its small moments. It doesn't need a grand plot or danger to be compelling and interesting, and its characters have personality and dynamics enough to be engaging even while their portrayal can be awkward at times the depth of their character shines through. This isn't a story that needs tension and drama to keep itself going, and it changes to regularly to become uninteresting or fatigue you with prolonged action scenes or miments of tension and uncertainty.

I'd highly recommend this story to any slice of life fans, and it has joined my list of favourites on this site. It has a long way to go, and it's writing has large room to grow and improve, and I look forward to seeing it continuing into a grand story.

Dan Chekanov
  • Overall Score

Deserving of recognition

Reviewed at: Ch: 9

*read up to chap. 9 at time of review*

Maybe a little early in the story, but what the hell, gotta support what you read. //no spoilers//

 

Why i like it:

  • The style 

The English is perfect. No glaring grammar mistakes, misused words or confusing sentence structure. If there are mistakes, the author responds to comments and changes chapters post release, how great. Engaging writing, some suspense, some nice descriptions. Feels light and non-cumbersome to read.

  • The characters 

Consistent and Believable. Are thinking and caring. Differant from one another. A sobering contrast with the characters I encountered before.

My concerns:

     Blacksmithing could be hard to describe. What perspective will the author choose: a more technical one with descriptions of how grain size matters in how metal behaves ? a more mythical one with glowing ores and blades of mana ? I am ready for both. Just hope my imagination will be enough for the process.

     Hope the author does not skimp out on flavour text. How things smell or feel. It helps with immersion if you know how damp the air was in a cave, how the pebbles on the ground dig into your shoes or a swing of a weapon whistles mid swing. Its hard to balance this with plot progression.(like i know something about it...never done it myself)

  ***

Author,

You have a great story here and what it takes to grow it to great heights)

Milanda
  • Overall Score

First  and foremost this author has probably the best reason I've read for a gender bender and I'm intrigued to see where this story goes. Outside of the occasional spelling and grammar error the story itself is quite fun to read. The side characters we see regularly are a little dull but it's both early and we are slowly learning more. I for one can't wait to read more as of ch 10.

Olympic
  • Overall Score

Great read, even better if you enjoy books about crafting and such.

Reviewed at: Ch: 20.5

I love this story so far and I have really enjoy the characters detailed learning proccess. Dont let the gender bender tag throw your off, it flows naturally with the story and isn't something that you will probable even notice a few chapters in.Lastly, I would juust like to note that the all the characters are all very nicely written, and honestly everything they do seems to fit very well with their personalities.

Definitely worth a follow!

Erxen
  • Overall Score
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  • Character Score

An okay story, tarnished by the inexperience of the author

Reviewed at: Ch: 11

I don't think this story is nearly as good as other reviewers seem to think.

The worst issue, in my opinion, is in the way it's written. The style itself is... weird. A lot of punctuation is missing, especially in short dialogues interactions. Some sentences are a bit convoluted, but more importantly, the lack of variety in the  vocabulary makes the overall story difficult to process. Sometimes, you'll have multiple paragraphs telling the same thing, using a lot of words for simple concepts.

The grammar is okay. A few accidental typos here and there, but they are few and far between. Punctation is a part of grammar, though, so the score goes down to four stars.

Story seems... decent, so far. It's hard to judge it, considering not much has happened. The world building is pretty good. 

I hate your characters. Most of them feel like NPCs from an MMO. The MC is never seen having any kind of meaningful interaction with anyone, and when she  is, it's just oversimplified emotional overreactions. But, most importantly, she's immature. I can't blame you for that, since it's a trope. Still hate.

 

Aoverall, it's an okay story, leaning on the side of good if you compare it to the average for RRL.

My advice is to read more high quality books. More to the point : spend less time having your MC talk to herself, and more time having her speak to actual characters. For said characters, try to draw inspiration from real people. More importantly, take the time to think about what's important, and what's not. You spent more time describing the taste of beef from the weird bear monsters, than the feeling of frying goblins. That's an issue.

 

All in all, not for me.

ZeroSkill
  • Overall Score
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This is a must read for everyone who likes a good litrpg/fantasy novel!

Reviewed at: Ch: 21

first of all, for all the poeple who want to give this story a try, do it! don't be put off just because of the gender bender tag, it's implemented in a good way and if you are well into the story you kinda forget about it.

now then, this is one of my new favorit novels out there so far. i personally rate it all the up there with storys like rebirth of the thief who roamed the world.

Edit: Still great, well i mean its getting better and better now with all that cool forging stuff . :3

forged
  • Overall Score

Great read so far

Reviewed at: Notice

As a blacksmith, there are few things more frustrating than an unrealistic blacksmithing scene. Fortunately, the author does his research, and I have yet to find any glaring mistakes. On top of that, it's a darn good story! There are some small mistakes here and there - to be expected of an amateur writer - but overall the writing and plot are very solid. 

Psychomeltdown
  • Overall Score

Reincarnated into another world, but with a good set up and quality characters. I like the developement of the characters and the people that populate the world. 

The MC has a good character voice and I do enjoy the loving relationship thier parents and family has. 

The nitpicks. (some spoilers)

- A knowledgeable mother who lived in a city and has an education, not teaching the MC about the world they live in, even though the MC is about 13 Earth years old. 

- The MC not even knowing many people in the village she grew up in, but everyone knowing who the MC is. 

- Basically the MC is supposed to be smart and inquisitive, but they know nothing about the world they grew up in. Even basic history, religion, or having freinds with other children. 

Mynthio
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Exquisite Fiction, right here, right now!

Reviewed at: Notice

To start, don't read this review but 'Magic Smithing' instead it is much better, I guarantee it.

With that said, this really is a LitRPG even if it doesn't have the tag and the newer chapters are prone to have more grammar mistake since the comments haven't pointed those out yet.

But anything that is pointed out will see a rapid response and thus the quality of the story increases until becoming this truly delightful story that is well worth any fan of Fantasy novels. Don't let yourself be discouraged by the Gender Bender tag, any elements pertaining to it are so minimal you wouldn't even notice without it being pointed out.

Now, don't take my word for it and just read it for yourself.