by Adam Ladner
All of the stories you’ve heard are wrong. They always tell you that starting a new life in a fantasy world is an amazing experience, full of magic, adventure, and true love...but they never tell you what happens when it’s over. They don’t tell you that it just happens again. And again. By the time you start your third new life in a row, all of that initial amazement wears off. That's where Lux finds himself now: Dropped into yet another fantasy world, forced to restart his life all over again. Having lost the people he loved twice over, he wants nothing more than to disappear and live a life of solitude...but it seems the world has other plans for him.
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Problem 1: way too many dream sequences. I hear people say that they skip over any dream sequences they come across in a story, and I now understand why. I, literally, could not care less about the dreams. I would like to also mention that the dream sequences don't bring the score down at all. It's annoying, but not so annoying that it brings the rating down.
The MC is arrested and literally does not fight back. Not in body, nor spirit. He speaks not a word about what happened to try to stop the arrest. The only reason I can think of for this happening is just poor writing to drive plot forward by having the MC meet the girl in the dungeon that has a similar situation to his last-life wife.
Problem 3: The MC has lived 3 separate lives of various trials and tribulations and, until his 3rd life, has not tried to use magic outside of his body. He has only channeled the magic through his sword. Why? What's wrong with this guy?
Problem 4: The girl in the dungeon (Lia) is 25, but actually acts like a 10 year old. It's kind of nuts. It feels like she's written to be like some sort of anime archetype character. You'll understand once you read her dialogue, methinks.
Problem 5: The MC says that he has a LOT of training from knights and warriors from all over, and then flash forward to his third life, and he almost bleeds out from fightning 7 low skill level guardsmen. He claims he's out of practice, but that goes beyond just being rusty. By the way, the reason he almost bled out is from one crossbow bolt to the shoulder. I'm no doctor, warrior, or scribe, but I'm fairly sure that blood doesn't drain that fast.
To put it bluntly, I'm leaning pretty close to agreeing with Aballer5's review. This story, personally, is not worth the read.
I wish the author good luck in his future writing endeavors.
Edit as of 6/12/2020: I think, with some serious character rework, this story could be fantastic. The main let down of this story, as others and myself have stated, are the MC and Lia, the two only important characters of the story as of my review.
Great premise and great grammer all let down by an inconsistent wimp MC and forced Cliffhanger.
MC has been fighting in wars the past 2 lives and has awesome gear but most of the time his experience is just ignored in favor of the need for a weak MC at the start. Furthermore all of a sudden he is making "amazing" discoveries in magic left and right even though they should be pretty common sense things you would test if you were as enamored with magic as described.
Lastly he is shown to completely break the readers trust in him in favor of a cliffhanger for the end of the volume.
Fustration makes this not worth the read.
"All of the stories you’ve heard are wrong." This story starts off promising a fresh break from the tropes of the genre, but ends book 1 completely betraying that promise. There was a lot of wasted potential here--the characters were interesting (Lia seems especially well-developed), the grammar is stellar for RoyalRoad, the pacing is good (though the flashbacks were a bit jarring in the first couple of chapters)...but if you mess up the plot that bad and betray your readers, none of that means anything.
Would strongly recommend the author Google "The Danger of Not Delivering on Promises" by Brandon Sanderson.
Title says it all really. Not a bad premise and the writing is pretty good. The characters are a problem however including the MC who keeps making every wrong decision possible whilst supposedly having learned their lesson from multiple previous lives.
Interaction with the other main character is just cringey as hell and so far appears to be a stick the Author is using to explain why the MC has to go along with the main plot.
There is enough in here that it could get better (1st book posted as a done deal) especially now that they can see the feedback and I may check back in at a later date to see if it has. However for now I can't recommend it.
Great grammar and writing skills. Good premise. Poor story and characters. Inconsistent power scaling and magic system. The MC is unlikable and unrealistic. He's supposed to be an old soul who has lived multiple lifetimes already and knows the mechanics of what happens in each new world yet repeats the same mistakes.
He states he wants to keep lia, his companion safe above all else but takes her on some aimless adventure away from the safety of her town and parents when he knows he's a wanted fugitive. His actions contradicts his stated beliefs and are sometimes infuriatingly illogical bordering on the pathological which ends up setting him back and endangering his party.
The mc is supposed to have the wisdom of multiple lifetimes yet makes very stupid decisions. The mc is supposed to have built up magical power from multiple lifetimes and different magic systems yet end up barely beating several generic prison guards and almost gets killed by a crossbow bolt but we're expected to believe that the elites of each of these worlds will stop at nothing to get his help to further their ends. All of this makes the power scaling wildly inconsistent.
The antagonists are barely one dimensional caricatures of bad guys and generic soldier minions.
It is very unfortunate the writing skills of the author is wasted on such a bad mc and story.
I too skipped over most of the dream sequences. Sure the were relevant, but they were also incredibly boring.
My biggest problem is with the characters (enjoyed the story). Lisa embodies a child not a 25 yr old (the way she talks, still living with her parents even though she is effectively in medieval times when that just wouldn't happed).
MC gets screwed over by a 'beautifal woman' and then literally in the same chapter goes out of his way to help another 'beautifal woman'. I see that he really learnt his lesson there...
Making a stupid promise is stupid no matter how it is phrased or how many flashbacks (that I skipped lol) are added.
On stupid actions, letting someone live whose friends you just killed is 0/10 smarts. I mean but since it is implied that the MC is the only person who has experimented with magic (across multiple worlds) I not sure what I should have expected.
Read to chapter 10. This story would have appealed to my 13 year old self. It is to bland, slow, and basic. Writing quality is ok..story not so much.
At the time of this review, I have just completed reading volume 1.
I am disappointed by the ending. I would say that I didn't like how the plot points were resolved, but they just... weren't resolved. The synopsis is nice, but most of the story's selling points don't start ubtil the novel is almost over. The only one that matters in volume 1, is that the main character has lived in a few different worlds.
The characters are okay. Their actions don't always match their words. Lux, the MC, claims he wants to live peacefully, but does nothing to achieve that goal. In fact, he does the opposite.
Lux says this is his fourth world, but he makes a lot of rookie mistakes. He hasn't learned what sorts of things give him away as a foreigner. He has not learned the value of disguising oneself. He tells people he's from another world for no apparent reason. He spends foreign currency. He doesn't spend much time learning about culture or customs. No wonder the local powers find him every time! He's as subtle as a brick through a window.
The story's saving grace is the grammar and the style. The first person narrative works well. There are no major gramatical mistakes. I wish the author had done a bit more research and had a better grasp of how people interact, but otherwise, I think this novel could be decent if serialized.... and if volume 1 didn't end where it does.
The grammar is good, the premise of the story interesting enough, and the writing is decent. This could be a really good story.
All of that goodness is overshadowed by the decision processes of many characters. To the point that it totally breaks the flow of the story, causing the reader to sit up and question what the author was thinking.
To mention a few things:
-We have an MC, supposedly a war-hero and combat veteran, blacksmith, and magical prodigy, who proves his capability in one scene. In the next, all that goes out of the window when he walks into an ambush like some toddler which he saw coming from miles away.
-We have a pair of parents who decide out of nowhere to send their daughter on a journey with some complete stranger who they essentially know nothing about.
-We have a supposedly adult woman who knows what she wants in one moment and acts and behaves like a teenager in the next.
-We have a bunch of villains who present themselves numerous times to the inconsistent MC for slaughter. For some ethereal reason, they are not killed... Leading me to believe that the MC's hidden power must be something like the Lion King's Pride, unbeatable during the day and powerless at night...?
-... there are so many more things I questioned, but it honestly would be tiring to list them all.
What do I want to say with that? Well, this could be a good story, but it isn't. Many characters are inconsistent in their behavior, many decisions not comprehensible to the reader.
This is a case of: When the storyteller wants the story to go down a certain path, but couldn't be bothered to come up with a sensible scenario to make that happen. So he simply makes it happen.
The MC knows jumping down the cliff is stupid. There are rocks down there and mud, and it's deep. But that shiny stone down there looks like gold, so the MC jumps anyway and... (surprisingly!) breaks his leg...
Dear author, please work on going through a scene when you write it. Try to see what is happening from your character's point of view. And, try to admit your characters a modicum of common sense. Apply that to their actions and reactions.
All of your important story-points could have stayed the same if you had been bothered to think up a believable/sensible reasoning for the characters to act as they did.
This story could have been so much better.
So, this is an ok story. It is about someone who got transported to another world x 3 and has lived 3 lives already.
I don't think this story is something special and would recommend reading inexorable chaos instead, its MC has been isekai'd over a dozen times. Those storys are similar, as they both have MC who got repeadatly isekai'd and are rather OP, but IC is better, as it is funnier, has better content and a better story.
This fiction on the contrary is rather hard to read, while it is readable, and not even bad, someone with experience with these sorts of fictions, would find this rather boring(my opinion) it has almost no originality as isekai is rather popular right now, and thus has many variants. Blacksmithing and swordsmanship are also quite common. What is good though is the rune-system, this MCs 'cheat'. But the story, which is kind of non existent, with the MC not having a real goal. Is rather bad I think.
While I have only read up to chapter 7, I neither find this fiction exciting nor good, because it has a very slow start as it seems and because the MC kind of just reacts in the beginning instead of collecting his wits, thus I will already stop reading.
While this is my opinion, I think that someone who hasn't read much isekai or isn't very knowledgable with this kind of story would rather like this. For me personally though? There are tons of better storys on RR and I thus got better things to read.