Ragna: A young girl's failure to become a hero

by YAK Edge

Original ONGOING Action Fantasy Psychological Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead High Fantasy Magic Mythos Supernatural Urban Fantasy
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Family; love; a promising military career to become a heroic Valkyrie – Ragna Griffin's life was perfect. However, when her kingdom brands her a terrorist, it all falls apart. Caught in the center of a conspiracy, she's forced to flee from the very people she had sworn to protect and sets off on a journey to clear her name.

As she explores the world outside her kingdom, Ragna must face the cruel and complex reality of the real world. Each day, her mind and convictions drift closer to their limits, and her dream to become a Valkyrie slips further away.

In the end, will she persevere or shatter?

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 15,634
  • Average Views :
  • 319
  • Followers :
  • 47
  • Favorites :
  • 8
  • Ratings :
  • 35
  • Pages :
  • 354
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
YAK Edge

YAK Edge

Achievements
25 Reviews
30 Review Upvotes
100 Comments
Group Leader (III)
Top List #2000
10,000 Views
Word Count (VIII)
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Map of Aes ago
A guide to runes (read after chapter 33) ago
Chapter 01 - Ragna Griffin ago
Chapter 02 - The AG Haborym ago
Chapter 03 - Ballad of false reality ago
Chapter 04 - Valkyries ago
Chapter 05 - Millennium Peace ago
Chapter 06 - Halcyon day countdown ago
Chapter 07 - The end of the beginning ago
Chapter 08 - The curtain rises for a new concerto ago
Chapter 09 - The fallen griffin ago
Extra chapter 1 - Hungry empty vanity ago
Extra chapter 2 - Angels with masks ago
Chapter 10 - The angel I hate ago
Chapter 11- Frisian Forset's motel of horror ago
Chapter 12 - The seven in heaven ago
Chapter 13 - Princess illusion ago
Chapter 14 - Sky desire ago
Chapter 15 - The rainbow train ago
Chapter 16 - High speed; high death ago
Extra chapter 3 - Please cry when I die ago
Chapter 17 - Clockwork Horrorshow ago
Chapter 18 - Maestro's first lecture ago
Chapter 19 - The real colors of the world ago
Chapter 20 - Choose the evil, impose the good ago
Chapter 21 - Freedom for lust ago
Chapter 22 - Altar under moonlight ago
Chapter 23 - Gods singing in the rain ago
Chapter 24 - Lockdown heretics ago
Chapter 25 - Past marvels ago
Chapter 26 - God abandoned you ago
Chapter 27 - Fly away ago
Extra chapter 4 - Debating life from god's point of view ago
Chapter 28 - Paths ago
Chapter 29 - Morning ago
Chapter 30 - Hide ago
Chapter 31 - Language ago
Chapter 32 - Reflection ago
Chapter 33 - Voyager ago
Chapter 34 - Noise ago
Chapter 35 - Eldritch ago
Chapter 36 - Twisted ago
Chapter 37 - Wounds ago
Chapter 38 - Fey ago
Special thank you: Chapter 33.5 - Do you want to deny who you are? ago
Chapter 39 - The titan in the music ago
Chapter 40 - Titan Symphony ago
Chapter 41 - Storm envoy ago
Chapter 42 - Your cute little sister ago

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
Csuite
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Riveting exploratory adventure in need of a major edit

Reviewed at: Chapter 43 - Morning

Ostensibly, Ragna tells the story of a promising young military officer falsely accused of a terrible crime and setting out to clear her name. What the synopsis doesn't mention is that this isn't merely a fugitive-focused thriller, but an epic-in-progress rich with adventure, history, exploration and mythological lore.

Ragna takes place in a world where mythology and magic have as much a place as modern technology, and absolutely shines in its unique, well thought-out world-building. I could easily recommend this story based on this aspect alone. Mythology in Ragna takes direct inspiration from its counterparts from various historical cultures in the real world (with a particular focus on Norse mythology and culture) but with its own highly original twists. You'll recognise names, references and analogies, but they're never quite what you expect. It's familiar but... not. And I love it. Ragna is not a story that rehashes old ground. It's refreshing, different and stunningly detailed.

The story is well-paced and always interesting, moving easily between action scenes, exploratory scenes expanding on the world or advancing the plot, and deeper, more reflective moments. Author YAK Edge weaves fascinating lore into the story in each interaction which never feels awkward, and I can't reiterate enough how interesting it is. This is a world brimming with secrets to be discovered and conspiracies to be unearthed around every corner. You want to know more about its societies, technologies, structures and magic, which are at once so familiar and yet so alien. And it only gets more interesting as it goes on.

Where it falls down is in terms of clarity, not an uncommon problem in web fiction. More than anything, Ragna needs a serious edit. And we're not just talking grammar, which does need work. I found myself butting up against frequent inconsistencies, plot holes and instances where characters made questionable decisions or events just didn't make logical sense. Much of this could be greatly improved by better explaining why characters acted a certain way or how they arrived at their decisions. I get the impression it's been kept vague deliberately to leave certain aspects mysteries for longer, but in practice it just ends up being confusing.

This lack of clarity is perhaps exemplified in the story's glossary chapters, which are more useful in helping to understand what's going on than they really should be. I was grateful for the assistance and appreciated their parody-like tone, but the story should be able to communicate key concepts clearly on its own. (To be fair, given the sheer amount of complex lore crammed into Ragna, it does succeed at conveying quite a lot through context already. But the glossaries should act like refreshers or quick reference points, not the main source of information.)

Another area this tended to crop up in was where the story attempted to take the interactions of magic to their logical conclusion. On the one hand, I adore this sort of utilitarian, lateral, problem-solving approach to magic (or general conflict) and find it highly engaging. When it worked, it was immensely satisfiying. But it was hit and miss - and when it missed, it felt like it was because the story had failed to address what should have been key concerns in that situation. From some of the author's comments, it seems clear the reasoning had been thought out in many cases but just hadn't been adequately communicated to the reader. Again, clarity.

Would I recommend this story overall? Absolutely. If, like me, you enjoy originality, exploration and a continual sense of discovery, Ragna scratches that itch and then some. It's both thoughtful and fun, and has some of the greatest potential I've seen on Royal Road to date. But it needs an edit.

Bugcatcher69
  • Overall Score

I've only read two chapters so far, but I loved. The MC Ragna was so funny. I didn't see any problems with the grammar. Ragna is a great character and the ending was good. Story so far was lovely too and I had no issues with the style.

Nameless32
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Ragna is the tale of, well, Ragna, a military trainee hoping to become a Valkyrie, which is basically a cross between a super soldier and a celebrity. She's very thoughtful when it comes to morality, especially the differences between a hero and a monster, and very idealistic with her thinking.

The author's liberal use of norse mythology influence to construct their world is great. I've often seen books drawing from greek mythology, but other than the percy jackson spin-off books and the thor movies, we haven't seen too much fiction about scandinavian culture. 

The world is also great - it's like a mix of sci fi and norse myths, which makes for a very interesting choice of weapons and tactics. For example, MC's gravity glove thingy.

The story is also pretty nice. While I haven't read far enough to get a super-solid grasp on it, we start to see the beginnings of what could be a captivating tale by chapter 7, where things start to heat up a little bit.

The grammar is great - I've only seen a few little mistakes here and there. I couldn't believe it when the author told me they were a non-native english speaker, because their prose flows better than like 90% of americans!

The characters in this story are truly great. The author just has a way of getting you to care about each and every one of them, and they don't seem like the typical tropes either. We get an intimate look into Ragna's thoughts, her relationship with Sven, and even how she views the world. I even found myself liking the father, which is something not a lot of stories manage, especially given his money-grubbing tendencies haha.

Overall, a fantastic read. Those who want a break from the typical elves and dwarves fantasy: maybe give this one a try!

DevilPogoStick
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

A very intriguing story for sure.

Reviewed at: Chapter 14 - Sky desire

I'll be honest. It's a slow start after an action  packed scene but it does very well to build up a world and its characters. 

Specifically Ragna here is pretty cocky and sure of her future only to find things in a very unexpected turn. There is build up of her life and views of her surroundings, as well as her attitudes. I expect further chapters will show development of her character as she goes past her comfort zone now that circumstances forces her out of it.

Good work overall. Readers will find it interesting. 

Angry Spider
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Please note that this is an edited review.

Holy crap.

So, after Chapter 3 I was a little confused. I'm not going to lie, it showed in the review (the one I'm editing right now, that is). 

But dang. YAK Edge clearly knows what he's doing with this! The characters are interesting and fleshed-out, and although they seem to take back-stage to the overall plotline in terms of priority, their attitudes and actions remain consistent with their personalities.

I think my favorite character is the MC, with least favorite being her Valkyrie buddy. She seems to be obsessed with doing the right thing (albeit with a substantial amount of bloodthirsty), while her friend seems to dislike her to the point of sabotaging her training program.

The fighting is well-done, with quite a bit of honestly anime-like sequences that flow well together.

My favorite moment was definitely when MC's family was just sitting outside the pizzeria, chatting about whatever and just dealing with life. Their characters really showed well during that. 

The synopsis is well-designed, clearly stating the overall plotline without revealing too much, although the picture doesn't accurately depict any of the depth, range, and size of the world created here.

Have a good read!

McKing
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

First of all, this story is competently written. There are some small mistakes/confusion of similar words, but they don't detract from the story. Neither do much the occasional tense slip. The author has a solid technique. I want to emphasize his beautiful use of imagery, something one can really appreciate. The mood is also set with some in-world references - though these do need to be explained further later!

The setting is very interesting: a long-lasting peace forged between belligerant nations after a catastrophe in the past. Of course, they still skirmish in the shadows, and that's one of the roles of the military unit the MC wants to join, following in the footsteps of her parents. The author has created a norse-inspired sci-fi setting, with advanced technologies. The looming breaking of the peace is well-done.

I admit that the YA style of story has lost some of its luster in my more advanced age, but I can recognize it when it's well done. The MC is midly irritating, but she's clearly being set up to progress and evolve throughout the story. The major characters glimpsed so far have already shown some nice quirks/personalities and I believe this should only improve.

Overall, an interesting and well-done story.

VMJaskiernia
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Military scifi-fantasy at a fast pace

Reviewed at: Chapter 06 - Halcyon day countdown

The story pulled me in. There's enough desciption to show you the world, action to keep you interested, and inter-personal conflict to keep you wondering what's next.

I love the addition and remaking of Germanic mythology in this world.

Kagan M Fallfield
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

A great start to a unique world. The setting is an impressive combination of Norse mythology and high-tech warfare. The titular character is likable but I found the other characters only so-so (not bad but not very interesting). The lore was well-done but the overall story didn't really grab me as well as I was hoping. Still though, it's a well-written novel that has many good things going for it. Recommended!

MrBadWithNames
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

(Written as of chapter 12)

Style - The story is well written without any realy deviations from the norm on the reader-side of things.

My only complaint if you can even call it that is that I'm very uncertain of the setting, we are told about the political unrest around the round plantet and we are introduced to a mix of future and past stuff.

Now, it is said in the story that there is a reason people began using swords and magic, that's grand - but I'd like to hear if there are cars, I'm pretty sure social media was mentioned, are the titans robots as suggested in the simulation or are they actual fleshy monsters?

The world building is awesome, I really enjoyed the one chapter dedicated to just terminilogy, it's something I wish more authors did!

Grammar - 5/5, everything is well written.

Characters - while the MC isn't exactly my favourite out there, there are a few characters I genuinely likes, and I'm sure the MC would grow on the reader overtime, since I don't dislike them per se.

Story - My previously mentioned questions about the setting aside the story is great, the pacing is also really good.

The magic system kind of reminds me of Jojo stands, no gonna lie, what with the names and specific abilities, this is absolutely a good thing.

 

Primate
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

The writing style is omniscient third person narration. 

The author is able to portray the emotional feeling, perspectives and thoughts of the characters involved. This is perfectly done.

The storyline is not entirely captivating. Could have been better. 

Family; love; a promising military career - Ragna Griffin's life was perfect. But then she loses everything when her kingdom brands her a terrorist. Finding herself at the center of a conspiracy, she's forced to run away. Thus, Ragna sets off on a journey to clear her name. But she doesn't know how cruel and horrifying the real world can be. And each day, her mind and convictions drift closer to their limits. In the end, will she persevere or break?

The grammar quality is very good.

So far, the quality of the writing is very good. No noticeable major error that could affect the flow of the story was found. Well written.

The characters are entertaining.

From the little I've read, I would say that the characters are well defined. Especially, the female lead, Ragna. Characters are one of the main aspects of any story, and the author did a good job of it. Highly commendable.

Great work author. More grease to your elbow.