Fantasy World Epsilon 30-10

by Phillip Rayne

Original COMPLETED Adventure Comedy Fantasy Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead GameLit Low Fantasy Magic Multiple Lead Characters Portal Fantasy / Isekai
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

New Dive Assignment: 0B5

Personnel: Citizen of Gamma G-037-072 Jonathan Kelly 

World Designation: Epsilon H-037-072-030-010

Classification: Pre-industrial Exotic World, significant outliers in biosphere including atypical flora and fauna. Quarantine protocol in effect pending more data and acclimation testing. Further anomalies include populations of morphologically distinct humanoids, and aberrations in otherwise normative physics laws. Causal chain appears provisionally stable. For the purposes of delaying onset of collapse as well as above mentioned factors, only one subject is cleared to Dive. Initial mandates shall proceed with scouting and surveillance.

Further details are classified. Warning: All other qualifying personnel are currently dispatched. Refusal will result in deployment delays and possible unsupervised causal decay.

Do you wish to accept this assignment?


Note to Readers:

This is not MC isolated in a new world. This is new world joins the multiverse. What I'm tentatively coining Subverted Isekai (Formerly I used 'reversed' but, as pointed out, that would be fantasy MC goes to the modern world. Hey, there's idea! Not this book though.).

There is plenty of scientific and philosophical stuff; I know that can be a turn off for some. It has a strong bearing on the story, but is mainly covered in the 'Comments & Calculations' section (optional reading of course). If you are looking for an extreme suspension of natural laws with no technical considerations, you will not find it here.

Formatting Notes:

Audio chatter from characters that are not currently in the scene I format in "inverted commas and italics". Given the layered nature of modern communication, I thought this distinction was best denoted visually in my prose. Critique is welcome.

Language Notes

Jon is a South African ex-pat. As such he will use some Afrikaans colloquialisms plus a dash of Japanese.

Most importantly he says “Ja” meaning “Yes”. Pronounced with a J sound like “yo” and an A sound like “bar”. As in:

“Yo, let’s go to the strip bar.” 

“Ja.”

And not the Rastafarian /jya/.

Other words:

Nee - /niya/ : no

Juffrou - /yif-row/ : Miss

Lekker - /lacker/ : nice, good, delicious

Nooit - /noit/: never

The rest is mostly swear words. Indisputably the most useful words in any language and simultaneously holding the least innate meaning.

Fok - “fork” without the “r”: fuck

Bliksem - /Bluksim/: darn, damn. Also common noun meaning damn person or thing.

Donner - “Dorner” without the “r”: originally meaning thunder, can also mean darn or damn. It is often used as a verb meaning: ‘to hit hard’

Kak - /kuck/: shit

Voetsek - /foot-sack/: go away

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Phillip Rayne

Phillip Rayne

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
[Author's Notes] ago
1.1 Peeping Jon ago
1.2 Guns Blazing Kinda ago
1.3 Fight or Flight ago
1.4 Camping and Confusion ago
2.1 A Hero's Welcome ago
2.2 Sentencing with Sentences ago
2.3 Endings and Beginnings ago
2.4 Egress ago
3.1 Down the Wabbit Hole ago
3.2 Induction ago
3.3 Morning Sunshine ago
3.4 Plans of Elves and Men ago
3.5 The Ride ago
3.6 Reprieve ago
3.7 Field Lecture ago
3.8 Goblins! ago
3.9 LZ Massacre ago
4.1 The Morning After ago
4.2 Trials in Applied Magic ago
4.3 Acclimation ago
5.1 Baby Steps at Breakfast ago
5.2 A Mage is Born ago
5.3 Keya Montage ago
5.4 Review and Plan ago
5.5 Deployment Doubts ago
5.6 Mor'Orcs ago
6.1 Entry, Duh ago
6.2 Virion's Domino ago
6.3 Beat on the Street ago
6.4 A Fucking Tavern ago
6.5 Sepha's Domino ago
6.6 Ready to Mingle ago
6.7 Tavern Hustle ago
6.8 Tavern Tussle ago
6.9 Terms and Conditions ago
6.10 Trading Fists ago
6.11 Medic! ago
7.1 Hair of the Dog ago
7.2 Negotiations ago
7.3 Preparation of Mind ago
7.4 The Windup ago
7.5 Sepha's Rabbit Hole ago
7.6 Let Them Have Cake ago
8.1 Lee's Digs ago
8.2 Rilian ago
8.3 Homo Deus ago
8.4 What a Shock! ago
9.1 Painted ago
9.2 Investigative Investigations ago
9.3 Smithy! ago
9.4 Salt of the Earth ago
9.5 Epsilon Upgrades ago
9.6 Gamma Upgrades ago
9.7 Simple Pleasures ago
9.8 Alpha Downgrades ago
9.9 Intern ago
9.10 Herb Garden ago
10.1 Bait ago
10.2 Run with Your Life ago
10.3 Gambolling Glamour Girl ago
10.4 Sting Like a Butterfly ago
10.5 Bored Room ago
10.6 Coming Out ago
10.7 Bugged Out ago
11.1 Sex Bomb ago
11.2 Slaying the Beast ago
11.3 Breakfast, Normal Breakfast ago
12.1 Elf in the Eves ago
12.2 Silver Spectre ago
12.3 Doc Oc ago
12.4 Life and Auras ago
12.5 Can't I Die in Peace! ago
12.6 Arise ago
12.7 A Trip with Altitude ago

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nahojjjen
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Interesting premise turned wish-fulfillment

Reviewed at: 12.7 A Trip with Altitude

Who would I recommend this story to? I'd recommend you read this story if you enjoy reading about a wish-fulfillment op main character showering some girl in gifts while she repeatedly gets her mind blown. The grammar is good, and the story-prompt is interesting enough. It has harem vibes despite there being only 2 girls.

This story shares many similarities with the anime "Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri." Except the technological discepancy is even bigger, and the lewdness less subtle.

 

Now, onto my critique; I recommend you don't read this if you'd just like to go ahead and enjoy the story. This is just my opinion, and I do not fault you if you enjoy different things than me.

I personally found the first ~4 chapters to be much better than the rest, and showing great potential - unfortunately the story did not develop its potential in a way I enjoy.

The battles in the story to be boring; the descriptions are fine, but the enemies feels as meaningful as CGI armies of 'insert blockbuster movie here'. This is vaguely explained by that the world is based on a generic isekai, but that isn't enough to make it interesting. There is no tension, and I didn't find it exciting to find out how the mc would construct another way of abusing portals to decimate his enemies.

I'd classify the later half of the current released chapters as (softcore) erotica - it's fine if you enjoy that, but I found it far less interesting than the direction of the first chapters.

Initially, the worldbuilding felt like it had potential, but the world quickly started feeling 'low detailed' and shallow, which could once again be explained by that it's supposed to be based on / satire of an isekai, however this does not explain why I get the same feeling for the "alpha" world.

Minor spoilers: The introduction of the alpha stalker who literally almost cums from seeing the main character is... quite the wasted potential. You constructed the opportunity to explore an almost godlike technological entity, and you made a generic horny nymphomaniac rich girl. You could certainly argue that this might be realistic, which I'd disagree, but either way, it's not an interesting character to read about.

Generally, the later chapters made me repeatedly think "What's the point?". After the start, it's established that there is minimal risk to the main character, there are only vague consequences for failing his task (which the tone of the story indicates wont happen), and there's no intrigue, exploration or mystery. Having an entity with god-level powers insanely in love with the main character removed any and all risks as well as doubts of the outcome.

Techman
Overall

Fresh spin on portal fantasy. A delight!

Reviewed at: 4.1 The Morning After

This is a fairly new story that is interesting and enjoyable and has surprising heart. It's clear that the author has put a great deal of thought into both the world and the character interactions. The author notes at the end of each chapter give good insight to their thought process.

Some story context without being too spoilery: The multiverse is a thing, more advanced beings have discovered Earth and gifted them portal technology. Earth has, in turn, decided to explore other worlds too. Jon is a "Diver", sent to scout a newly discovered world full of fantasy characters and magic. Things happen and he finds himself pulled into the happenings of the world much more than intended.

This has got the perfect blend of sci-fi and fantasy. Most of the tech is logical and theoretically possible with our understanding of science. Jon is very aware of the standard portal fantasy tropes and doesn't so much subvert them as acknowledge them while doing what he thinks is best. He's a little too dependent on pop culture references and catchphrases for my taste, but I deal with it for the rest of this fantastic story. Give it a read.

TheEarlofBronze
Overall

A very enjoyable read but perhaps a little light on actual "plot".

Reviewed at: 12.7 A Trip with Altitude

The story reads well, the authors clearly skilled, the MC is extremely fun and the supporting cast are all certainly unique and enjoyable. There's a decent amount of info-dumping but all in all I'd say it serves rather than detracts from the story. The Author is also certainly not shy about spending quite a bit of time on his world, in fact i'd argue that the detail of the larger setting and structure of his world/verse is probably his real passion.

The downside of that is that the plot is... somewhat lightly touched. It's not to say there isn't a plot, or that it doesn't move. That wouldn't be true, it's just that the plot seems to be something of an after thought to the Characters which are the true stars of this story. 

I'd perfer not to think of it as a criticism but more of a "you've done everything else well, just add a bit more "umph". It's little things, you don't even discover the existence of an Antagonist until significantly into the chapters, you don't meet him till he's basically dead. 

Now this works in the greater setting of the story, in practice to the setting that the Author's working within the existence of a "Big Bad" is almost a joke really, even that of an Antagonist. So he follows the rules of his own setting, and that's why he's getting a solid 4/5.

However very little truly seems to happen, the story is a fun exploration of an interesting mix of concepts seen through the eyes of a bizarre group of likable individuals... and that's basically the book we've got. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is hard to tell really. I enjoyed it overall, but it felt like the cake was missing it's "cherry on top" to me. 

Overall a well put together piece of work with fun characters though, i'm really mostly nit-picking because I sense greatness and just feel like it was missed by inches. 

sandro530
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Not what I expected.

Reviewed at: 3.6 Reprieve

This fictions MC reminds me of the one in Isekai speedrun here on RR. They both use really strange language and speak to themselves a lot, confusing everyone around them but themselves. 

This story isn't as good as I thought it was, maybe it is because i'm only at the early chapters, but it is an infodump after another, only thing is we ain't got no pill. The Grammar and language used is pretty good and advanced, though because some words are from an advanced vocabulary I sometimes don't know whether it is a mistake or a word I don't know. 

While this isn't what I expected it deserves a 4.2/5 and it is a little funny as well. Though I don't know if the grimdark tag is missing or if it was just a dark beginning.

The Characters, while few, can be seen as real, interacting with another naturally. The science seems to be real as well.

 

ValentineN
Overall

Fantastic fantasy book.

Reviewed at: 5.2 A Mage is Born

The worldbuilding is interesting, but there are no infodumps to kill the mood.

Instead, the reader learns about everything, not just the multiverse, but this specific world as well through the two MCs banter.

I love the application of the sci-fi tech. I've seen similar stuff in other books, not as imaginative as this.

Norden
Overall

It's (about) going places

Reviewed at: 10.5 Bored Room

You will not regret giving this a chance.

It's well written (no major hiccups in language or grammar, so the reading is smooth).

Very enjoyable with huge potential :)

SecCcat
Overall

The mannerisms and dialog of the MC are strange to my ears. It surely doesn't help me stay "in" the story, but even so I am really enjoying this one. The action and story progression are just fast enough to keep me hooked.

Anon Anonymous
Overall

Good story, but ended too quickly.

Reviewed at: 12.7 A Trip with Altitude

Good. Story; the ending however seemed premature. I wished the Orc war came in to play drawing out the story, and allowing the characters to develope more. I hope there is a seq.

TheMon
Overall

Good premise, Realistic MC... wish fulfillment, harem, and sex

Reviewed at: 11.3 Breakfast, Normal Breakfast

If you're into detailed sex, harems, and OP main characters. Then this story is perfect. 

The story and plot are ok. I never felt a sense of urgency or danger. I get that the story just began and the world is building, but the direction and some elements in the story isn't something I would want filling my head.

I quit at 11.1-11.2, I personally don't like details when someone has sex, and there is a promise for more detailed sex, so I'm out.

All that aside, author is really talented. The writing style and this story stand miles above most novels on this site because of the talent alone. This is Isekai done right, except for the explicit sexual chapters, and the harem theme development.

Mind sentience
Overall

Such a shame I have to review this again, because some ppl dont and/or can't handle profanity and vulgarity said in jest...

This story has a lot references, stereotypes, and is quite enjoyable in how it deals with them along with making them shine in their own way. IE: Elven Arrogance...

It's fun new take on portal fantasy and I highly recommend it.