Queen of the Hill

by Commander Kane

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Female Lead GameLit High Fantasy Magic Multiple Lead Characters Portal Fantasy / Isekai Reincarnation

Howdy there, partner. I'm so glad you've stumbled upon this story of mine. It's a bit of an experiment I've always wanted to try: writing a female protagonist people would enjoy reading. Of course, my amazing writing skills and epic prose won't be enough to convince you, so I've composed a list that'll prove just how much you'll love Daphne:

1. She has that good ol' Southern hospitality

2. She knows a lot of Southern Slang

3. SHE'S A MOTHER TRUCKIN' DRAGON

I dunno about you, but I'd like to read a story where a young, Southern woman gets reincarnated as a hill dragon and has to fight vicious fairies, handsome dwarves, and plants that make you sneeze assisted by only her wits and a very passive-aggressive system that sends her weird emoticons. But hey. That's just me.

Give it a chance! Tarnation Station is coming and there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it! So why don't you hop on and enjoy the ride?

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 34,178
  • Average Views :
  • 1,554
  • Followers :
  • 286
  • Favorites :
  • 58
  • Ratings :
  • 82
  • Pages :
  • 85
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Commander Kane

Commander Kane

[Founding Member of the Zard Skwad]

Achievements
Character Designer
Top List #1000
100,000 Views
400 Followers
1,000 Comments
Word Count (11)
1st Anniversary
75 Review Upvotes
Fledgling Reviewer (III)
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
Redeyes Eclipse
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I really enjoyed dragon isekai and I am already in love with this one. From excellent description to the cute emocon and originality I can already tell this will be trending soon. All in all I give it a perfect score keep up the great work.

Aki-chi
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The returning dragon lady with a strange name and apparent alcholism is a very sweet person, the story is great as a satire and comedy with fantasy elements and it is written fairly well, the thought and love behind it can practically be felt really. I can see this going very well very fast. The emojis and writer notes also help wiht keeping you personally invested, as if you're reading a friend's work, so there's that. I can only hope someone can do a better review and get this more attention.

DarkWe
Overall

A cotton flippin' good system satire!

Reviewed at: Dragon in the Making (4)

I know it's too early to review and stuff but this story deserves more attention! This is some next level dandy-tier system satire and I'm all for it!

I'm liking it so far, keep it up!

TheWitchOfTheRock
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Really cute, Easy to read story

Reviewed at: Dragon in the Making (5)

Southern woman wakes up as a baby dragon and needs to try to figure out  how to survive, with a cute, emoting "system" to keep her informed. I like it. It's a fun story. Something I can sit down and read a bunch of chapters of. Normally I review 3 chapters in,but I got to 5 chapters before something distracted me and I realized how far in I was. 

 

Style: Good. Clean. Easy to read. I take chapters like potato chips: Ohm Nom Nom

Story:  I can see the basic story evolving. I'm guessing that there's a bigger story  coming, but it just takes a while to rev up to it. Not a problem, it's entertaining anyway!

Grammar: The strange txt still throws me >.> but I'm getting used to it. 

Character : Mupin is highly entertaining, and so  is her assistant I think the fae are interesting as well, but it's hard for me to judge as I can't really follow what they say all the time. Still! Mupin is carrying it, so it's all good!

CoCop
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

They will slit your throat before you can even say 'Howdy'

Reviewed at: Conquering the Hill (6)

This story is an flux in a very fun way.  Half of the story is lighthearted fun complete with a mocking/emoji using system.  The other half is... kind of brutal and dystopian.  The bad guys are cartoonish, but I'm not really laughing at them.  They're horrifying and do a good job raising the stakes on what would otherwise be a nice and fun reincarnation story.

Style
The MC is unique and has her own voice, boy does she.  Between her and the System, the story has a bit of a 'Sugary Cereal and Saturday Morning Cartoons' feel to it.  That said, the opponents are all fairly grim and a bit brutal.  The juxtoposition of the two takes a fun fast paced litrpg and makes it truly interesting.  As a warning, there are POV shifts but they're fairly well done and don't involve side plots.

Grammar
There are noticeable mistakes and some of the writing is borderline impossible to understand (intentionally- that's how the author writes other sapient races).  It's not bad.  In fact I'd say it's good. It's just that the grammar/writing is noticeable.

Story
Not that much has happened yet with the MC spinning her wheels.  That said we're starting to get fun elements to the story and the world around the MC is starting to get fleshed out.  I for one am excited to see what happens when the MC starts flexing her instincts.  Additionally I find the Magic/LitRPG system to be fairly interesting and novel.

Character
Everyone feels 'real' despite being intentionally cartoonish.  I addressed most of my opinion in Style, but you just come away LIKING the MC, and that's something that a lot of books are missing.

l nimbus
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Hells, I actually wrote a short review? Damnit.

Reviewed at: Conquering the Hill (9)

This isn't going to be a long review, for one simple reason: There just ain't enough content for me to sink my review-claws into. 

  So, yeet? Hell no! 

There might not be much content yet, with it still clocking under a hundred pages, but what's actually available here is good. Queen of the Hill hits that hard-to-reach tone of doing an isekai that's part good feelings and zany insanity shenanigans, part dark story and a cold look at consequences at times. 

So far, It delivers upon what it promises, and does it with style

The system itself feels actually unique, with it's emoticon responses, and the characters have been stellar in their sheer uniqueness and personality. The story started right, showing us Daphne from the get-go, making me invested in her and reading it all in one sitting. The mistake of starting with a long description of scenery or describing two moons nobody cares about while interest wanes was not made. 

I honestly can't tell if Kane is being serious with Daphne, or if this is a satire of the southern redneck stereotype. That's a good thing. An author who keeps the audience wanting moar and breaking up monotony whenever it sneaks in has a very promising future. 

I should also note that the magic system is nice, if a tad built towards being convenient for new tricks if Daphne runs herself into a corner. However, this doesn't stray into wish-fullfillment territory, as the story proves itself to be dark and serious when Daph isn't happily genociding flowers for dinner. 

As of current, I can't comment on too much, ad the story has literally just started, but needless to say, I am please with what I've seen thus far. 

Both the style and grammar are easy on the eyes, with minimal exposition and a very smooth flow that keeps boredom at bay. Now all we need is some way to incentivise Kane into more comment. 

Might I suggest everyone ganging up on him in the comemnts? He can't ignore us all. PMs as well, if he runs off and refuses to show his face. 

Pentinium
Overall

Grammar is good, story is interesting, reading feels fluid, system doesnt feel too op there is no character levels or xp gains on kills and it makes story feel nice in its own way, characters have ther own quirks. 

Pace feels nice, info dumps are non-existent, magic system seems fun, it might be too OP but that makes it fun.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

 

Aretae
Overall

I've only just started, but I'm enjoying this one quite a bit.  

I have a thing for characters one might like.  I like characters I'd appreciate both personally and morally--or to use an political framing, characters you might like to have a beer with.  Though, my guess is that Miss Daphne might prefer a Mint Julep.  

As expected for a 3rd/4th story, the writing is good and clean. 

I'm suspicious of the emoticon status screen, and am hoping for a reveal at some point.    

[edit] And dagnabit, I missed the multilayered humor in the title.  Well played.

Prescott
Overall

Extremely Southern Dragon

Reviewed at: Conquering the Hill (3)

 The dragon is from the south, possess southern hospitality, a slight alcohol problem and a healthy respect for guns. 

I love it and happily awate future updates. 

Tajarim
Overall

It's bad and doesn't deserve even your time

Reviewed at: Subterfuge (3)

Unbelievably, utterly moronic MC and a plot that feels like shooting yourself in the tummy.