Burning Stars, Falling Skies

by CoCop

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content

Threedak is a simple Dhajtel. Every night she scavenges and hunts for her tribe in the great desert, relying upon her skill and ancestral memories to avoid the night's many dangers. Her life remains largely the same until one night, one of the gleaming angels that hangs in the night sky falls into her desert. Deciding to investigate, she happens upon a scene far beyond her limited understanding.

The Dhajtel aren't alone. The galaxy is far vaster and more hostile than Threedak's people can even begin to comprehend.

Entrusted with the knowledge and memories of a dead race, it will be up to her to forge Dhajtel society into something that can survive the storm that is to come.

- - -
(This novel is heavy on Kingdom/Empire Building and is an attempt at fairly hard (grounded in real science) Science Fiction)

Cover credit to DrakonStorm

- - -

A couple authors with reptile MC's have started a discord, feel free to hang out with us.

Reptile MC Discord

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CoCop

CoCop

Founding Member of the Zard Skwad

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BurnNote
Overall

Cool idea let down by shallow execution

Reviewed at: Chapter 11 - Suspended Among the Angels

There's a very, very cool and intersting idea for a Scifi kingdom building story here. But the execution just isn't there to support it.

My main issues:

- The intelligence level of the other aliens is super inconsistent. They're smart enough for religon but not enough for lies. They're too feral to have proper emotions, except all the times we see them have those. They're too stupid to invent storing things, but smart enough to make stone tipped spears. Later on, other Dhajtel are smart enough to be part of her industrial society, despite explicitly lacking any human memories. So any interesting changes in their culture or mentality happen because the author says so, not for any reason the reader can follow or anticipate

- The difficulty of teching up is completly ignored. I guess that's a bit of a staple of the genre, but it's a real loss, because there could've been all sorts of interesting complications and cleverness there. As it is, the progress is pretty arbitray, and doesn't actually mean anything.

(It takes ten years until they have cars. That is utterly absurd. Even IRL with existing infrastructer, know-how and designs, and without reinventing the component parts, creating a new car takes between two to five years. I could write an essay about how completly unworkable it is. And that's only the tip)

There's other issues, but those two are the main things. If you don't think about it, it'll do as popcorn. But there's nothing solid, and it's neither good Scifi or good Kingdom Building.