Tasìa Del Alma-Gris

by Olviddha

Original ONGOING Action Mystery Sci-fi Anti-Hero Lead Cyberpunk Female Lead LitRPG Post Apocalyptic Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Where the borders of four nations in South America meet social and economic anarchy thrived for generations before the Cull Spores rained down a psychosis causing plague on the population.

An emergency declared, the region is renamed the Quadra as the four Nations agree to relinquish their sovereignty to an international body called the Salvage.

Tasìa del Alma-Gris raised in a poor barrio in the city of Rossara spent her early adult years in a convent. Overwhelmed by boredom fueled wonderlust she discovers a natural talent for cat burglary as the emergency grew and those with the resources to escape the infected area did so, leaving their wealth behind.

She lives the high life until the day, betrayed by accomplices, she is caught by bounty hunters and sent to Ward Nueve, a worker's collective inside a hospital for inmates. 

There, her problems begin in earnest.

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Olviddha

Olviddha

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
1.1 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.2 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.3 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.4 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.5 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.6 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.7 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.8 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.9 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.10 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.11 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.12 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.13 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.14 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.15 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.16 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.17 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.18 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.19 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.20 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.21 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.22 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.23 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.24 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.25 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.26 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.27 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.28 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.29 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.30 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.31 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.32 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.33 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.34 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.35 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.36 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.37 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.38 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.39 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.40 Book One: The Gray Soul ago
1.41(final) Book One: The Gray Soul ago
2.1 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.2 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.3 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.4 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.5 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.6 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.7 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.8 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.9 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.10 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.11 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.12 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.13 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.14 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.15 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.16 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.17 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.18 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.19 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.20 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.21 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.22 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.23 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.24 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.25 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.26 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago
2.27 Book Two: The Premie Harvest ago

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Thedude3445
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A Slow Thriller With Some Issues

Reviewed at: 1.16 Book One: The Gray Soul

 

For everything I felt about my time with the beginning of this book, I think the main word that comes to mind for the good and the bad would be this: Focus.

Our hero for the story, Tasìa, is an inmate in a mysterious prison in what appears to be some sort of vaguely sci-fi world. We aren’t given much context, just thrown into the action and it’s not clear how much of life in this prison is even what it seems. Certainly one of the more interesting ontological mystery setups I’ve read recently.

However, the story has a lot of issues with what’s being focused on. Some of that is intentional, with giving out hints and details and having our protagonist constantly questioning herself and others. There’s mysterious dreams and fellow inmates with mysterious backstories, and the story’s focus is aimed to keep the reader guessing. However, it also works to confuse the reader enough that the story is sometimes hard to follow. The story takes place in South America, which is cool, but the sci-fi stuff is very vague sometimes and I could get no sense of the world thanks to how little it’s focused on. Then, sometimes, the sci-fi concepts like nano-spores become incredibly detailed all of a sudden!

And, even almost twenty chapters into the book where I stopped, our hero was still in the midst of escaping from prison, the process of which had begun something like ten chapters earlier. The story’s focus on different details and subplots causes, at least in the beginning, the plot to move at a crawl. Slow-paced stories are completely OK, but it’s the fact that just this escape goes on for so long that made me a bit perplexed.

The prose is an interesting subject, and may be the reason I kept reading, but also the reason I was often left confused. The prose appears to have been translated, which leaves the sentences sometimes feeling stilted. The grammar is OK, but the individual sentences can be very odd, almost too formal at times. Sometimes I actually like the way that things are described with uncommon words and syntax, but a lot of the time the individual sentences have odd focuses that make them hard to parse.

Here is one example:

"Her solemn visage with unblinking eyes leered just two feet away on the opposite side of the duct."

It’s pretty neat prose, but it also takes me two or three times to read sentences sometimes to figure out what they are actually saying.

I’m glad the author is writing a prison-set crime thriller and I’m glad it’s getting a little bit of attention, but I do think it’ll be a tough sell for many readers.

 

 

 

MTurner
  • Overall Score

We find ourselves, in prison set
Tasia's status quo is under threat
A dire illness needing treating
A mysterious group to be meeting

Through my reading, I was engrossed
An tale of interest, you may boast
A real page turner, I stayed up late
Hooked, I read several chapters straight

Downsides were more prose than content
Miss-spellings, grammatical errors, fairly frequent
These things would be a simple fix
To make your story flow, transfix

Your story to me has names of strange
This is not something to change
Your story oozes culture different
Sharing such things can lead to betterment

I must say I must continue
I hope the rest is within you
For I must know what's to develop
I wish for you in luck envelope

wordsinaline
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An Engaging Mystery in Need of Directed Edits

Reviewed at: 1.16 Book One: The Gray Soul

I want to give Tasia del Alma-Gris higher marks for the fact that it represents VERY different fare than most of RoyalRoad fiction. This isn't escapist speculative fiction, it's more of a proper speculative literary fiction. It's a lovely change of pace.

The story of TdAG has unfolded (as far as I've progressed) as a mystery or thriller set in a South American women's prison.

Tasia, the titular protagonist is pitched as a woman with feet planted in two vastly different worlds. She is both a sister of the Catholic church and a talented cat burglar, and the tension between those character traits could be intriguing ground for personal emotional growth or conflict.

It's a shame though that these two pieces of her life don't seem to fit well together. Her time in the church impacts the story little, except where she provides the occasional prayer. I feel like it's an underdeveloped opportunity so far.

Most of her agency in the story is based off of her burglary techniques, which she employs in subtle but high stakes conflicts with other inmates, as well as a daring plan hatched with a mysterious inmate with friends in high places. Meanwhile the threat of an unnatural plague scratches at the margins of the story, almost like a breakdown of story genre.

The plague appears to hint at supernatural or technological origins. Everywhere the 'spores' touch the narrative, the story becomes infected by the mythological.

None of the mysteries have been revealed by the point I've reached. I haven't pieced together the Author's objective either. Many of the events of the early book appear to meander, and parts haven't fit together yet. It's very difficult to say whether the story needs to be redirected this way or that.

My instints tell me that I need more focused direction to keep me moving along and invested, but the tough thing is that there are several choices the author might make which would ABSOLUTELY justify the pacing.

I wish there were other reviewers who had gotten further into the story to tell me if TdAG is worth pushing through to the end. That's the tragedy of a mystery story, you often can't know if it's worthwhile until the payout.

I will try to continue, I want to enjoy Tasia's story and the readers deserve a more informed opinion. Until then, yes this story is worth trying. Especially if you'd like to try something a little different.

Primate
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The storyline is very intersting. Tasìa del Alma-Gris raised in the city of Rossara where she spent her early adult years in a convent. By boredom and curiosity, she discovered a natural talent for cat burglary as the emergency grew and those with the resources to escape the infected area did so, leaving their wealth behind. She lived the high life until she was betrayed by accomplices and was caught by bounty hunters and sent to a Ward. This was where her predicament truly begins. This was a great storyline with lots of potential.

The characters are well fitted for their roles. Love the FL. Her character as a burglar was well written and defined. The side characters too are well written. Excellent work.

The grammar is top notch. I saw some comments about the grammartical errors affecting the story flow which made me laugh. Maybe we didn't read the same work. If it's the same one that this lemur read, I will have to disagree. Little grammartical errors can be noticeable but won't affect the story flow. Though it's good to make the work more grammartical perfect. 

The style is quite unique. Mixing prose with poetry. And injecting it into your writing style shows your depth in everyday's life. It was simply beautiful.

Great work, spider/monkey king.  

Csuite
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Cool concepts, difficult read

Reviewed at: 1.17 Book One: The Gray Soul

The premise behind Tasìa Del Alma-Gris is compelling and original. It is set in a women's prison in a South American region beset by a mysterious, seemingly-supernatural plague. Much of the early story covers main character Tasìa's interactions with her fellow inmates and guards and the conflict that arises from different personalities being forced to coexist and interact inside confinement. This could make a good story on its own, but throw in a set of mysterious, unsanctioned medical experiments, a secret economy of John Wick-style assassins, and unsettling, eldritch victims of an advanced stage of the plague that has infected every human in the region, and you have yourself one awesome setting.

There's so much going on, and so many different mysteries to explore. Considering everything takes place within the confines of the prison, I never once felt like the setting was too small. On the contrary, the author makes the prison feel like a sprawling, untamed, uncharted beast, and it oozes with potential. I love it.

The characterisation in this story is... fine. I didn't feel particularly attached to any of the characters, but nor did I dislike them. They were believable as prison inmates, and distinct, but most interaction between characters was fleeting and transactional - I didn't get much of a chance as a reader to feel like I got to know them, aside from Tasìa herself.

Tasìa, as a competent cat burglar, is a somewhat fun character to follow on a romp which feels like it alternates seamlessly between elaborate heist, gritty prison drama, and classic Indiana Jones-style adventure. We learn very quickly there's something special about her - something a mysterious, clandestine authority wants - but as of the time of writing this review, we don't know what it is yet. It's a common trope, but this story comes at it from a bit of a different angle, stretching out the mystery in a way that makes it feel bigger and more powerful, somehow, than Tasìa herself. It's a compelling aspect of the story.

But there's one key area the story falls down in, and unfortunately, it's a big one. It's simply a difficult read.

This isn't the kind of story you can sit down with and have the chapters fly by. It takes effort to comprehend what's going on. The writing is so... condensed isn't quite the right word, but I can't think of a better one - that it's very easy to simply miss a critical line or phrase describing what's happening. I found myself constantly having to backtrack and reread paragraphs in order to understand what was going on, and in many cases even then many things just ended up going over my head. I ended up reading this story in much the same way I'd read an academic textbook: with careful, repeated study. It was tough. I often found myself coming out of a chapter with a collection of disparate ideas and concepts in my head without a clear understanding of exactly where they fit into the wider plot.

I think there were a few different factors to blame for the wider issue:

  • First, the grammar needs a proofread. The grammar in this story isn't bad, but it could use a cleanup. Adjustments like adding in missing commas, fixing incorrect tenses and correcting the occasional typo would help make things easier to read.
  • There's also a dense concentration of technical jargon flying around. During the course of the story so far, I ran into medical, scientific, mechanical and weapons terminology, as well as prison-specific items and lingo specific to South America, that I simply have no experience with as a reader. No small amount of the story is devoted to operating or describing various pieces of specialised equipment. While much of it can be picked up via context - the author did account for this - there's still a lot to wade through, and it required me to go back and reread sections to understand what was happening.
  • Lastly, and most importantly, the writing structure comes across as being too unfiltered. What I mean by this is that plot points are often hidden in the midst of less important details, with less attention paid to them than they need to stand out. This makes it hard to separate the important content from the background details. In design it would be called the 'visual hierarchy'; I'm not sure if there's an official term for it in writing. In other words, this story would benefit from focusing attention more on the 'whats' and 'whys' of the plot in comparison to the less important details.

To sum up, Tasìa Del Alma-Gris comprises a wonderfully cool collection of suspenseful plot threads and exciting concepts, all tied together in a highly inspiring setting. Unfortunately, however, it also suffers from being difficult to follow, and it can be hard to push past that kind of roadblock as a reader.