An 'Ordinary' Adventure

by Kamikoto

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Anti-Hero Lead High Fantasy Magic Male Lead Mythos Portal Fantasy / Isekai Secret Identity
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

A series of unfortunate events lead to the self-proclaimed ordinary guy, Knight Yuudai, to be imprisoned in another world. He, and a young girl he was imprisoned with, must escape together.

They will travel across the demon-infested Dragon Lands to reach the exiled races, who were born from the Elder Dragon. Along the way he must fight the parasites that are the demons.

His journey will make him bear witness to the horrors and wonders this world has to offer, while desperately searching for the last bit of familiarity that resides at the floating world tree.

A very big thanks to Roseowo who took the time to make me this amazing cover art. You can find Rose's Instagram on the top left of the cover and her very own story over on Scribble Hub here - https://www.scribblehub.com/series/97501/the-necromancer-system/

Please go check it out!

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Author
Kamikoto

Kamikoto

Niisan

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
New cover art! Many thanks to Roseowo ago
Prologue - Unfortunate string of events ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 1 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 2 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 3 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 4 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 5 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 6 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 7 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 8 (re-upload) ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 9 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 10 (Re-upload) ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 11 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 12 ago
Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 13 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 1 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 2 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 3 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 4 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 5 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 6 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 7 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 8 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 9 (Re-upload) ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 10 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 11 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 12 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 13 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 14 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 15 ago
Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 16 ago
Chapter 3 - Useless - Part 1 ago
Chapter 3 - Useless - Part 2 ago
Chapter 3 - Useless - Part 3 ago
Chapter 3 - Useless - Part 4 ago
Chapter 3 - Useless - Part 5 ago
Chapter 3 - Useless - Part 6 ago

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Dawod Dawod
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Let's see... let's start with grammar. By the time I got to reading, the chapters have already been edited and fixed by others. So in terms of typos, I couldn't spot any while reading so far.

The story has been interesting, definitely different from the average isekai. In terms of structure, it's clearly taken inspiration from light novels. Those not familiar with those types of stories might need a bit of time to adjust, but I am personally a fan of it.

In terms of a main strength, I'd say this author's strength is his worldbuilding and descriptions.

Characters are varied and the MC is definitely atypical from other MCs. Let's just say it has the secret identity and anti-hero tags for a reason.

Overall, if you like anime-like stories and light novels, this could be the fic for you.

soundsofhysteria
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Exceeded the Ordinary, reached Extraordinary!

Reviewed at: Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 6

The premise of this story was phenomenal, and the idea of the story was well executed. I found myself enjoying the first six chapters, and I know I will continue to enjoy the coming chapters as I keep on reading :) 

Grammar

The grammar is well-executed, and I found trouble finding things to suggest. Well done in that department :)

Style

The author's style is something I found a little hard to get used to. I think this is because I am also a writer, and not just a reader, but the style is very different from my own and it took a while to get into the right mindset. That being said, once I was able to put myself in the right place, I found myself enjoying the premise. 

Story

The story is the only thing I could tick down on, and that is because of the way the writing style is portrayed. I think it might be because the style of comedy just isn't to my taste, or simply just not a writing style I'm used to, but it drew me back. Something small, and probably due to my own bias, which is why I only ticked it down .5 star!

Character

I quite enjoyed the characters in this story! They provide life to the story, and each one has their own personality and qualities that are put forth to the bigger picture. Moving puzzle pieces that feel real, feel unique and are nice to follow. One of my favorite aspects to this story was the characters! Which is good, at least in my eyes :D Characters are hard to portray, but the author has portrayed them well. 

For a style that I'm not used to, this was a phenomenal piece of writing. I enjoyed it and will keep reading it to see where this "Ordinary" adventure takes me :) 

Nameless32
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WARNING: This story does contain lolis.

An 'Ordinary' Adventure is a colorful contrast between dark, serious, and borderline gory and comedic and lighthearted. This combination is very hard to pull off, and though it does need edits in some places, where it works, it really works.

The MC is a semi-snarky fish-out-of-water type character, and a huge plus for having him as the POV is that you're just as confused as he is in the opening parts. Everything seems fast, panicky, and overall just amazingly tense. Huge plus over here, author!

However, to contrast with that, the pacing past those opening chapters is sluggish. The story itself seems pretty interesting, but it's just the amount of filler and repetition that holds it back from shining it its fullest. 

To add to that, what helped add to the tone and feel of the first two parts persists where it shouldn't. The light novel-esque prose that really shone earlier on is sadly this story's biggest weakness in the later parts. And, as I said, there are some places where dark and gritty clashes with light and funny in unpleasant ways. However, all of this can be patched up with some more editing and structure. We also get to see some interesting characters aside from the MC, but they haven't gotten too much fleshing out just yet.

Gramatically, I only noticed a few things here and there, definitely not anything that impacts the reading experience too much. Pretty good job with this aspect :)

Overall, I'd say that this story is good, and has the potential to be something great. The only big minus currently is the prose, and even that gets better the further on you go. If/when that gets fixed, it'll be an absolute treat to read, and even currently it's worth your time if you're used to light novel-style writing.

Past that, it has an interesting story, good characters, and lots of funny moments to share. Keep it up, Kamikoto!

Unintelligent Donkey
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Style - The novel employs a third-person perspective, but it's heavily focused on the MC, so we pretty much know only as much as the MC does. The pacing starts out pretty fast and slightly confusing, as we and Knight claw our way through the dungeon and whatever situation he's suddenly been thrust into. To a certain degree, this works by building up a mystery that hooks in the reader. But, personally, I feel like it went a bit on too long, and past the first few chapters, it slows down a bit too much.

However, I was pretty invested in the story trying to find out what the whole situation was really like, and as I read further, I started to enjoy the style the author employs, swapping between more serious moments and super hilarious ones. I guess that's what kind of got me addicted to the story, and I guess I'll definitely be coming back for more every week!

Grammar - I read a few reviews mentioning the grammar, the sentence structure comes off as a bit odd, but I think that's mostly to do with personal tastes, and since I didn't really spot anything that screamed mistakes, I think the author's done a pretty good job cleaning up! So if the other reviews are discouraging you from reading this masterpiece because of the grammar, you should probably ignore that.

Story - I kind of mentioned it in style, the pacing is slightly inconsistent, but I think its intentional, the first arc should serve as a hook, and the next few arcs should slow done and explain things a bit. I think this novel does this pretty well, which shows that it should've been planned out pretty well, so the future arcs should connect pretty well with what we know right now/

Character - I feel like Knight definitely draws a lot of inspiration from the more comedic MCs in Japanese light novels, as you read, it gets pretty clear that he's definitely someone sent here by truck-kun. He's not someone with upstanding moral qualities, but he's not exactly the scum of the earth either, he's pretty much your average joe, gobsmacked into this world of fantasy and magic.

The other characters so far are pretty varied, I see a few archetypes, but overall, they're pretty well written and have their own flare. I definitely have to say, the author's ability to write characters is definitely his strongest strength for me! 

Thedude3445
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Ehh... This story has got that certain type of content that makes me not as much a fan as I would have liked, and that’s a pet peeve of mine—serious comedy. There isn’t anything wrong with it, but when I am getting a silly comedy story, which a whole lot of An ‘Ordinary’ Adventure is, what I’m not looking for is many chapters all about the physical pain and emotional torment of the characters, played entirely seriously. It’s done a lot in anime, and a lot of people like it, but I sadly do not.

Actually, this book is very, very much like an anime series, and is formatted very closely to a Japanese light novel. That’s for good and for bad. For the good, it means lots of jokes and weird silly stuff. The main character’s name is Knight, which is exactly the kind of on-the-nose joke that makes me giggle. And the dialogue is filled with comedic moments. But also like a light novel, the prose is flat and doesn’t do enough to describe characters, settings, or action. If you’re used to fan translated light novel writing, though, you won’t bat an eye, I think.

The biggest problem with the story then, for me, is the stretched-out feeling of everything. I read through Chapter 1, which was divided into about 13 parts and took somewhere around 80 or 90 pages I believe. However, it dragged on and on with an extended action/escape scene and chapters that didn’t even have a full scene to themselves. Chapter 1 felt like it was supposed to be a fast-paced intro, but the way it was written was too sluggish to get itself going. I believe the chapter could be cut in half length-wise and still come out on top, so the length as it is is mostly excess.

But I still think this is a perfectly OK story for those who want a silly (but not that silly) light novel-esque adventure. That’s just not my favorite subgenre.

 

World Boundary
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Done as part of a review swap-main focus is the "Imprisoned Arc"

To get this out of the way-I think the story in its current form has been absolutely constrained by its arc structure. "Imprisoned" is 13 parts long and feels like a huge 20k chapter broken up piecemeal. Each individual chapter listing has no end goal, it just cuts off. This makes them extremely unmemorable and causes them to run together sicne the start and end points of each section feel meaningless. I liked the idea of starting an isekai with a prison break but the way it was presented pumps the brakes on the story's momentum.

Style

The story is descriptive but could use tightening up in the prose department. Paragraphs often offer redundant information  or repeat the the same adjective/adverb multiple times. An example from Ch. 1 part 2:

"His hearing seemed to replace what disappeared as he heard clear words coming from above, and what seemed to be his knees scraping the floor. Yet, Knight could comprehend none of this. To him, the scraping could be words and the words could be the scraping."

The point of this section is to show that the protagonist is shaken up and his senses aren't sorted out yet. Basically, he can't make out sounds normally. This could be done with one statement: "the voices and sounds were jumbled," something to that effect, but it is instead done as a whole paragraph. The paragraph in question is a bit unwieldy and contradictory ("heard clear words...could comprehend none of this"). Taken on its own this isn't the end of the world, but with multiple sections like this in each chapter the story drags. Personally, I find this to be the greatest downfall of the story. Description is good. Redundancies are not so good. I'm guilty of this as well, so this is a do as I say not as I do situation.

Grammar

There are many grammatical errors but none of them affected my reading comprehension, which is a 3/5 in my book. From a more professional/academic point of view, the writing would not warn a passing grade.

Story

I went into this at the top, but the structure drags the opening. It's difficult to make it through the prison break, which is presumbably a prologue. I read 80 something pages and I couldn't tell you what the main quest was.

Character

The characters are pretty ill-defined despite the word count. While Knight is the MC all I can say about him is that he's a bit snarky. Internal thought is almost exclusively used for panicked expletives whenever he gets in trouble. Beyond the first chapter there's really nothing going on narration-wise that pushes his character forward or furthers my understanding of him. There is a presumbable heroine present but so far her appearances are so infrequent that there's not much to say about her either. Hopefully these two progress now that the prison break is done with.

In conclusion, I think the writing style and structure of the story saddle it with a first arc that diminshes the overall appeal. I think an editing pass can strip out a lot of bloat and make the overall fiction much more readable. As is, I only pushed so far because I promised a review. If I had been reading for pelasure I would've stopped reading 2-3 chapters in.

I Don't Bite...
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A painful beginning, though improves later...

Reviewed at: Chapter 2 - Into the DragonLand - Part 12

To be honest, I'm in a bit of a quandary about this. On one hand, I could feel the writer's passion behind their craft, on the other, reading through the first chapter was sometimes a painful experience for me. Maybe because recently I've developed a bit of skill towards critical reading, the faults seemed all the more glaring to me...


To the writer's credit, they did improve their craft in the most recent chapters...


Style: The biggest weakness of the story, redundancy. Repetition, when done with moderation and proper skill can sometimes be the strength of a story, but too much, and it becomes a shackle that hinders the story's progression...


In the case of this story, the abundance of redundancy in both narrative and word choice makes it a chore to trudge through in the earlier chapters. The later chapters did become cleaner and the repetitive style of writing was discarded, making the story more bearable, much to my relief...


Story: Up till now there's only a vague idea of a story but nothing concrete. The earlier chapters are quite stagnant and there's not much feeling of progression there. When it does start to pick up, we have little idea about the goal of the story. Although it's not a bad thing having a vague goal for a story, the picture that the story has a goal should be clear. in this case, even that picture is vague. the feeling of progression is barely there...


Grammar: With my limited grammar skills, I didn't spot too many errors that took away from my experience and comprehension...


Character: The second biggest in the weakness department. All of them felt very inconsistent, even the MC, whom I couldn't figure out the thought process of even when the author spelt out his thoughts...


All in all, as far as fictions go, it starts pretty poorly, though that might be more due to a lack of skill rather than effort, as proven by the fact that the author has improved significantly in the recent chapters. In my opinion, if the story is tightened up some more and the structure improved it has the potential to be better...

And though the beginning is hard to read, if you just skim through it by skipping over the details, it becomes much easier...

That said, I wish the writer good luck and hope they're able to improve their craft and the story further...

(BTW, all above are my personal opinion)

Avery Light
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Read past chapter 1. I see the potential here, chapter 1 could use more polish but not really negatively impact the story. The uninteresting parts could use some trimming.

Also, some nose-picking: Maybe its just me, but it's gritting to read for someone with a name "Knight". This is isekai story, right? Would people name their child, Knight? There are tons of good name out there, just pick one :)

Looking forward for the story's outside world. Keep writing author. ^^

Anjin
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As the title says, this is a nice little fiction, but it is very much a work in progress. The author is still finding their groove, and as such there are some drastic changes in style, pacing and characterisation. All of it is pretty good, but it's not yet one coherent piece.

The style probably suffers the most from the author's changing approach; there is a strong move away from heavy description into light and humorous comedy. There are some real suggestions that the author is getting to a stage where they can marry these two strengths, but, as it stands, it reads almost like it was written by two or more people. Don't be disheartened though, there is real quality here, just a change in priorities.

Sticking with the style theme for a moment, I just want to highlight an interesting technique harnessed in the early chapters. The author uses disjointed syntax that, deliberately or not, nicely parallels the panic-stricken state of the MC. I wanted to give that a nod, because I feel it was under-appreciated. However, to really shine I would recommend being more sparing with repetition, so that it is more obviously deliberate when used.

The story is a little on the sparse side, but I actually found that quite refreshing. It's a bit of a different approach to world-jumping, as our MC is powerless for at least the first 100 pages, and has no clue what they are doing and where they fit in. I personally enjoyed that, but I don't need 400 people to get butchered in 80 words to keep me on the edge of my seat. I like a bit of character driven narrative.

The grammar is almost perfect but a few of the later chapters could do with another readthrough. I get the impression that the author is generally very hot on this kind of thing but doesn't always set aside a ton of time for proofreading.

The characters... are a bit confused, or at least the MC is. I can see from the comments that Knight has been tweaked a few times, and it does show in places. I generally found his motivations to be a little odd, but maybe I expected more of an archetypal hero. That said, this is tagged as anti-hero lead, so those false expectations are totally on me. I just wonder what we can expect from a character who is super keen to be in an isekai scenario and yet has no desire to do, well, anything... Perhaps a bit more character building wouldn't go amiss, seeing as that is the driving force behind this story.

Overall, I enjoyed what I read and I think there is some really skilled writing here, fueled by an active and creative imagination. I'd like to see a little more consistency all round, and I think that will come now that the author seems to be settling into the story a bit. I reckon this is really one to watch. It’s very enjoyable as it is, but I would have to declare it an 'Early Access' release. I just hope it reaches its, not-inconsiderable, potential.

mikoto misaka
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Kamikoto is an excellent novice writer

Reviewed at: Chapter 1 - Imprisoned - Part 1

Hello, I am a massive fan of up and coming writers and I have to say that for a beginner this story really has alot of merits. You can tell that the writer has a great love of his work and the characters that exist within the story. In addition I feel like the writer behind the scenes has put much effort into the world building and power scale of the characters. If you're interested in a unique take on the Isekai genre I suggest that you read this work of literature