The System is accepting applications

by KrisMasters

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Dungeon Gender Bender Harem High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Multiple Lead Characters Mythos Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

In the world of Mantaras there have been countless Gods and Goddesses, and now a newly born system has arisen.  Watch how Jack (the System) learns how to be a omnipotent system.  Several different users, he will become close to and friends with.

(For the first arc, Jack will be more in the background, but after that he will be more active)

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KrisMasters

KrisMasters

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue: The awakening. ago
Chapter 1: The First User. ago
Chapter 2: A User examines the System. ago
Chapter 3: A Mage melts the hearts of Slimes ago
Chapter 4: A Mage interrupts King Slimes meals. ago
Chapter 5: A Mage battles a boss, and A System feels for the very first time. ago
Chapter 6: A system finds A very Angry User. ago
Chapter 7: A Ranger finds a Silent Argument among Goblins. ago
Chapter 8: A Ranger has concerns, and A system has a headache. ago
Chapter 9: A Mage has a Relaxing Bath, then deals with Bureaucracy ago
Chapter 10: A Mage has a meeting, and finds an aspiring polluter. ago
Chapter 11: A Mage pay's her debts, and A system helps a Lost God. ago
Chapter 12: A New User becomes a Domme ago
Chapter 13: A Domme give's a hand to a Mage, and A System finds trouble. (R-18 Section) ago
Chapter 14: A Master of Disguise heads to a party. ago
Chapter 15: A Rogue gets a surprising gift. ago
Chapter 16: A Rogue is caught into a plot by a Vampire. ago
Chapter 17: A Rogue questions a friend and A Mage gets a quest to save a city. ago
Chapter 18: A Mage goes back down into the sewers and finds the dead walk again. ago
Chapter 19: A Mage accidentally creates an abomination. ago
Chapter 20: A Mage has a fierce battle. (End of the First Arc) ago
Chapter 21: A system gets a roommate, and a Warrior sends a message. ago
Chapter 22: A warrior talks with a system, A System gets help from a goddess. ago
Chapter 23: A Ranger Returns Home ago
Chapter 24: A Avatar descends, and A System gets a overenthusiastic fan. ago
Chapter 25: An Avatar trains a Paladin. ago
Chapter 26: An Avatar goes shopping, and A System needs relationship advice ago
Chapter 27: A Domme helps a System, A System encounters a very angry sister. ago
Chapter 28: A System sees a cat-fight, and A Avatar gets an oral lesson. (R-18) ago
Chapter 29: An Avatar meets with a noble. ago
Chapter 30: An Avatar makes a deal. ago
Chapter 31: A Psionic confronts herself. ago
Chapter 32: A Psionic and Ranger cloud watch and a System shoulders a burden. ago
Chapter 33: An Avatar chooses new classes, A Rogue is frustrated with a friend. ago
Chapter 34: A Rogue confronts a friend, and is confronted by a security system. ago
Chapter 35: A System Dreams of Sheep, An Avatar feeds his Paladin Breakfast. (R-18) ago
Chapter 36: A Mage begins her investigation ago
Chapter 37: A Mages learns the importance of reading before agreeing. ago
Chapter 38: A Warrior goes on a date. ago
Chapter 39: An Avatar recruits a new User. ago
Chapter 40: A Avatar disciplines an acquaintance ago
Chapter 41: An Avatar has a chat. ago
Chapter 42: An Avatar hears it straight from the Centauress mouth. ago
Chapter 43: An Avatar is confused and takes a Centauress. (R-18 Section) ago
Chapter 44: An Avatar is freaking out; A Rogue teaches his friend makeup. ago
Chapter 45: A Rogue goes in a Barrel, An Avatar threatens a Noblewoman. ago
Chapter 46: An Avatar attends an Auction and buys a special sword. ago
Chapter 47: A princess is awoken from a nightmare. ago
Chapter 48: A Summoner attends some meetings silently. ago
Chapter 49: A Summoner gets a Familiar, A system dreams again. ago
Chapter 50: A System gets therapy, A Ranger has a talk with his Stepfather. ago
Chapter 51: A Ranger meets An Avatar ago
Chapter 52: A Domme confronts her Mother. ago
Chapter 53: A Priest deals with a odd Potion Maker. ago
Chapter 54: A Priest helps A Banshee, A System goes to a drinking party. ago
Chapter 55: A System has a discussion, A Mage recalls her history. ago
Chapter 56: A Mage is informed on a device, and then has a fun time trying on clothes (R-18 Section) ago
Chapter 57: A Warrior visits some temples. ago
Chapter 58: An Avatar thinks, A Rogue gets a quest. ago
Chapter 59: A Rogue fights a Necromancer ago

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JAM_91
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This is a well written story with good grammar and a solid plot, but if you’re looking for a pure story about a system and it’s road to greatness this isn’t for you. Harem and sexual elements are heavily prevalent from early on and doesn’t give alms to the fact that although jack is a reborn human he is a system currently. It is a good story and I have no problems with it or the author but it’s just not for me as I was looking for a novel about a system not another harem battle romance book.

SomeNerd
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Basically an OP protagonist harem isekai

Reviewed at: Chapter 40: A Avatar disciplines an acquaintance

Honestly, I was willing to tolerate the harem elements, until the most recent chapter, where the protagonsit started 'converting' a character... by spanking her. This character, by the way, was outright hostile towards the protagonist just before. There was no buildup to it, no character development. Just 'bitchy girl gets punished, pisses herself from it while obviously getting off.'

Keep in mind, by 'outright hostile', I don't mean slightly annoyed, this character legitimately tried to kill the main character, and it just gets waved off.

Other 'plot points' include the system's first user being molested by a machine for a power up, resulting in magical nipple piercings, among other things, a slutty paladin randomly coming across the main character when he descends to the mortal realm (despite the implication of nobody else being around for miles)... the chapters that don't focus on Jack are only slightly better, but not by much.

Overall, it feels like the writer started making an interesting, compelling story, then got impatient, cut out a bunch of character development, and stuffed it full of smut.

neko123
  • Overall Score

Disclaimer: This won't be an in-depth analysis of the story or even an overly thought out review.

The story is overall well written with solid grammer and the author seems to be decently skilled in writing stories. But the first 20 Chapters or so have almost nothing to to with Jack (the system) and the focus lies more on its users'. 

New readers should be aware that the 'Harem' and 'sexual context' tags are not just for an eventuality in the future but seem to be one of the main concepts of this story. 

While a lot of people might like this stuff, it is quite the deal-breaker for me who expected a story from the perspective of a system (Especially because the concept is quite engaging and the first 1-3 Chapter hinted at something great).

If the focus will later return to Jack I will update this review if my opinions change. 

PaulTB
  • Overall Score

Overall this is a good story, but not without problems.

The sexual content feels a forced (not that way) and the grammar is iffy (although the author is working on it). Around chapter 28 Jack (the system) suddenly changes his attitude from "derp-de-derp messing around and smiting evil when he falls over it" to "The World will fall before me!". The whole 'avatar' business and interactions with gods blurs the lines between 'system' and 'god' as well.

There are a lot of side-characters, some of which are quite interesting / fun.

AaronoraA
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It reads like a teenagers daydream or something. Grammar is mediocre and seems like it was written on a phone or tablet with many obvious errors. Things turn sexual way too often and it really hurts anything this author is trying to accomplish. Sex is great and all, but it reads terribly. If I ever have to read the phrase 'wet cave' again I am going to blow my brains out. Premise was interesting, but it was ruined at the hands of a horny teenager.

a_man_in_black
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...but didn't even shoot for it. Instead the author winds up, plants feet, and aims right for the gutter before diving headfirst into the sewers.

I've never seen a story from the point of view of the system itself. New and interesting ideas are rare gems in the LitRPG scene, and this one had all the makings of becoming one of them. Told as seen through the eyes of Jack, the sentient "system" which is the backbone trope we all love so much here on Royal Road. I gotta give a full five stars just for that story alone, as such a seed had the potential to be something quite grand.

Four stars for characters, as there's a pretty good supporting cast as Jack finds people in shitty situations and helps them out. His requirements for offering usage of his system powers are simple. It basically boils down to him asking his users to grow in strength and to try not to be total dicks, and he wants to be "good" so he keeps an eye out for kind souls. From the poverty-born girl attempting a dungeon in order to save her mother from a vicious neighborhood thug lord to a valiant maid who gave herself up to save the princess she served, an angsty boy out to save his sister, and a pair of gender confused thieves trying to learn how to do the right thing and the succubus madame trying to do right by her girls. Gods both good and evil, and for once a world that isn't just all grimdark and gloom. The pieces are there, ready and waiting to be assembled into a masterpiece.

Instead the story takes every opportunity to devolve into some of the most absolutely immature and cringe-inducing smut I've ever read. Your grandmothers secret collection of harlequin romance novels would take one look at the sex scenes in this story and then laugh the ink off their pages. Twilight would look down on this romance with a contemptuous sneer fit to make Alan Rickman sit up from the grave and salute. Every sexual encounter is awkward, and not in an endearing way. I guess the author is a fan of the anime style hesitation and embarrassment about sexuality, but fails to realize that those tropes only really work when the characters DON'T have sex. Once they get it on, the characters need to grow up and chill out about it.

The cringe is compounded by the grammar. The dialogue is simplistic and forced in a lot of places, and doesn't flow. It gets the point across, and there's definite improvement from one chapter to the next so I gotta give it at least three stars. But the grammar gets worse around the sex scenes. As if Ron Jeremy tried to direct Lord of the Rings and ran the script through an online "dirty talk" generator. Like a virgin who stutters and loses the ability to speak the closer they get to "doing it" with the prom queen, the grammar and prose degrades the more illicit the scene becomes.

The idea of a story about a system instead of a story with a system in it is a great one. You can also have a smutty harem adventure that's great. This story could have been either one, but failed spectacularly by trying to be both at once.

Zentari
  • Overall Score

Because it sure ain't the plot, that's for sure.

This story seems like a thinly veiled excuse for different kinds of smut, something which should have been admitedly obvious with the whole 'rush of power = orgasm' part of the system.

EDIT: Yeah, it's not getting any better. 'Drama' out of nowhere, a plot that is forced as hell*, cardboard character depth... If you like the promise of sexual hijinks, you might want to give this a go.

*Literally foced via a contract, who is so inescapable that even the gods can't break.

kingawesome
  • Overall Score

It was a waste of time reading this one it is good clickbait.. It is like the author just made a damn story for all perverts

 

KoboldPatrol
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Sexual wish-fulfillment with a bit of litRPG on the side

Reviewed at: Chapter 58: An Avatar thinks, A Rogue gets a quest.

(as of chapter 58)

A litRPG system with the name of Jack is created in a world where no such system has existed before, there were only the standard gods, magic and other fantasy stuff. Jack has to recruit people to be his "users" in order to become more powerful himself and get more options for those users. Sounds like a great and novel idea for a story, right? Then I have bad news for you...

Style/Grammar: The story is told in third-person style from the internal point of view of multiple characters; most of them are Jack and his Users. Description and word choice are okay but rather simple, not great. Grammar and spelling are lacking, there are lots of homophone errors (I think "you're" has never been used correctly) and quite a few typos and missing words.

Story: You might think a story about a personified system would focus on that system, with some people/users added. Well, Jack's growth in options and abilities is indeed an important focus but, starting a few chapters in, it feels like much of the story is just following the social life of his users. The pacing is rather quick, there are lots of things happening in short succession with not much respite in between.
There is a large amount of sexual content and in my personal opinion that severely hurts the story. Many of the characters very quickly do smutty things with others and the descriptions are extensive. It might have been less bad if it was just some vanilla intercourse but there are sexual untertones in lots of normal scenes and also scenes that are basically usage of magical rape drugs, god-on-dependent-mortal sex and one magitech race evolution with a very strong focus on orifices. In total, this raises my suspicion that the story is just there for sexual wish-fulfillment.

Characters: Jack as the MC is a rather passive character who sees a problem, solves it with his unusual powers and then takes a back seat again. The other people are a wide variety of characters who have in common that they are outsiders and/or social misfits; that's refreshing in the beginning but it becomes implausible after a while. Especially because their personalities are very simple.

All in all, I'm rather disappointed by this story because I was expecting something very different from the blurb. If you like smut, this story might be fine for you but if you just want to read a nice litRPG fantasy story, you should look elsewhere.

rulerhades
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First off I'd like to give a warning to everyone that the author decided to leave out of the tags that there is gender bending in this story. One of the characters seems to have a split personality issue where they dress up and believe/act like they are the opposite gender. It seems like it might be a permanent change later on but I'm not going to read further to confirm it. Also, the synopsis is misleading.

Story: It's supposed to be about the system, and while it does have snippets here or there it is mostly about a wide range of characters instead. I get that the second arc is going to be more about the system than the first arc was, but then why spend so much time going over a bunch of other, different characters? It's an interesting idea, and I enjoyed the premise. It would have been nice to explore the potential of that rather than a bunch of randos I have little to no interest in.

Grammar: Atrocious. You used 'and' four times in one sentence, among many other mistakes. There were even times where after contemplating what was meant I still have no idea what was supposed to be said. It makes the whole story an annoyance to read. 

Characters: Why do people do this? I've never really understood why people introduce a bunch of different people in the beginning of their stories and don't flesh out any of them properly. The focus is supposed to be on the system, instead it's spread out amongst five different characters. The result is that I really don't care much about any of them, and its tedious to read through all the different viewpoints. Also, the sex scene feels forced and awkward. I'm not one to shy away from a sex scene, but it has to fit with the story. You don't just throw one in because you felt like it. 

 

Overall I'd give it a one star. Between the grammar making it a slog to read and the issues it has with characters I'd tell anyone looking for a good story to hold off on this until it gets a rewrite and an editor.