The Exiled Prince
What worth is a person without mana? A person whom cannot harness magic?
Lazarus was born into the world of Valeria. A world with magic and swords but.... the child was born without mana the very energy used to harness magic. And because of this he was shunned by his family.
Left alone in the darkness of the world, he had nothing more to lose.
Nothing more to hold on to....
WARNING: Contains mature content such as but not limited to (Gore, Violence, Sexual Content)
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Style- Is very consistent. Provides multiple POVs. Has emotion of different character's thoughts and feelings.
Story- Interesting concept. Not an reincarnation story or a story of an OP MC with magic. The MC is rather a magicless person but with the ability of science which the world has never even heard of.
Grammar is a bit effy here and there but over all it is readable.
Character- Character development is sort of skipped so we have to sort of assume that any new character traits he has achieved is due to the "time skip". Though there is a few iffy moments on his character like how quickly he beings to open up the elf girl (even though she meant well) when he was betrayed and she was practically the first living thing he saw that was not an NPC.
I wish there would be more chapters and faster releases^.^
just started two hours ago reading this story and finished it until ch 44.
one of the best story I read so far at royalroadl...
Keep up the good work;) good story
Oh the drama!!!. This story is filled with instances where the MC always gets cornered and I can’t help but feel the pain … Oh well, all I can say is that this is one heck of a masterpiece. So please AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, KEEP THIS STORY GOING …. THIS STORY DESERVES MORE than just being in the “Popular this Week” category! … Bravo Bravo!!. JOLLY WELL DONE AUTHOR!!, JOLLY WELL DONE!!
This is a very well written fiction. the idea is original and convincing. I will divide my review in good points, and points that could get better
The characters are fantastic. probably some of the best in the entire site. Their motivations are clear, their actions make sense and they grow and change with the history, they are incridible dinamic.
Right now, my favorite character is probably the MC's mother. I found it amazing the way you made her balance between the love for her child and the love for her husband and the rest of the family. I find her the most complex character.
The MC is also great. He is cold but not heartless, in an easily relatable way, his personality is cleary understandable, taking in account his past.
I like cold characters, but a lot of people take it too far, sometimes the character doesn't even have a reason for their personality.
The worldbuilding is not bruttaly extensive. There's no new races, but some new perspectives in classical fantasy races. Its taylor made for the casual reader of royal road that have no patience to climb steep learning curves.
Not much more to add, awesome story and plot
Points that could get better:
The one thing that I really think you should change are the prologues. They are boring to read and the first time I read your work, I just skipped them. I am afraid a lot of readers don't read your work because they get stuck in the prologues.
The start of the book needs to be great, more then any other part, it is your story's visit card. There are two ways you could fix this:
One of them is just to delete the prologues and fill the reader with the background information during the actual story.
The second is to create one or two prologues with actual scenes and POV to help the reader understand the world. for exemple. you could write an entire chapter about king Lionel III and the battle against the fenix, focusing on the characters and his motivations, making the reader relate to them, instead of focusing in the background information.
The grammar also could get better, but this is a minor problem. Doesn't bother at all.
In any way, these are just ideas. The hard part about writing a fiction you got down extremily well.
I am no writer yet, so you shouldn't take my criticism too seriously. keep the chapters coming, I really love your work.
Author-sama, I just wanna ask you one thing.. Do you have any rivals in the real life or on the internet?
You must be thinking why Im asking such a shitty question (well, I'm thinking the same too). Well, thats because this novel is SEVERELY UNDERRATED.
I think that this is a plan conspired by the author's rivals. I mean, the grammar, story, style are all worth 5*s ( Well, the little exception is character). You know what, I usually dont read xanxia or reincarnated novel but this one's an exception because it brings in the elements of sci- fi to xanxia. The MC is not OP and he has enemies to hate and a mission to accomplish. Although, the first 5-10 chapters are a bit slow paced, it picks up speed later on in the novel.
PS- Author, please dont listen to those shit bastards who are trying to force you to stop this novel, and continue with the story.
PPS- To the author- I think that the previous synopsis was better than the new one( Well thats in my opinion though). And yeah, please dont add MC's sister to the harem, I completely hate those kind of novels.
I have been following this story since way back when you only had 6 chapters I love it, it's sad though I knew after chapter 20 that you were never going to finish it you went for the long plot which is great if you are dedicated, sadly you aren't we are 71 chapters in. Open a patreon or something get into a schedule at least a chapter a month
As I said before this story is Seriously Underrated!!!
I love the mc and the characters. It's a magnificent story. It has the perfect amount of pov shifts, and no grammar problems that I've noticed.
you switch between 1st person, and third person.
you cant go from he, to I.
not without warning, and just randomly anyway.
example (underline, fat, and cursive so you see what i'm talking about:
Lazarus POV –
Lazarus stayed in his room feeling sorry for himself and Reisha. He was given food and water outside of his door, and sometimes Ana and Clovis would place bugs in them. Time went by as the sun had already set.
During the days I was locked up in my room, shivers went down my spine thinking of what father would do to me. I silently await my punishment while always remembering how my mother stared at me.
— She even sent me flying.... and stared at me like I was some sort of criminal...
I remember all those stories I’ve read when I was in the library. Where the mother and father there were always much kinder, I could feel a sense of warmth from those stories that I had never truly experienced in reality.
Don't know why its not rated higher. I enjoyed my binge, wish there was more!
I think that the idea is very innovative and the story is interesting to read . The author just needs to increase the pace of the story and stop explaining every minute thing in detail . All in all , this story is very interesting.
Good luck and keep up the good work !!!
And yeah , keep the chapters rolling !!!!!!!
PS : Just please don’t drop this story .