The Boneless Dungeon

by Devin Auspland

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Dungeon GameLit LitRPG Multiple Lead Characters Reincarnation
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Breck Jones was living in an overpopulated grim future before an accident at work killed him. Before he died, he received odd messages awarding him skills and abilities. Little did he know that he was about to be reborn as a dungeon core!

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 41,393
  • Average Views :
  • 2,179
  • Followers :
  • 512
  • Favorites :
  • 109
  • Ratings :
  • 83
  • Pages :
  • 157
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Author
Devin Auspland

Devin Auspland

LitRPG & GameLit Author

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500 Followers
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25,000 Views
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Mister Bill
  • Overall Score

Just finished chapter 11 and I like it so far. Very well written, decently edited (apparently will be better when its out as a book), and not too much time spent on non-dungeon parts of the story.

Has some new ideas and no bad parts yet. Worth a read.

Zhaernon
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  • Story Score
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  • Character Score

Let's start with the biggest issue of the story - it being a wall of text and descriptions for the most part. There is actually very, very little happening at all throughout the chapters, and most of it is just pointless exposition. If even that. Any potential readers can just go ahead and skip most of the text walls, you will still be able to tell what's happening, that's how little they matter. 

Secondly are the many inconsistencies that pop up all the time. With the most glaring being the fact that in practical terms all characters mentioned so far are acting like anxious teens undergoing hormonal changes. It doesn't matter if they're a knight and guild leader commanding respect and ruling over the place, or seasoned adventurers, great mages, or MC from an ultra dystopian reality. They all act the same. The only exception is the only likeable character in the story, and that's the AI butler, and even that by a small margin. 

You can throw away all of the backstories those characters have as none of them will act anything like they actually matter anyways.

Thirdly - this is a story as standard as it can get. I don't think there was anything interesting, novel, new, unique, or otherwise different from thousands of other stories of that kind. Dungeon acts as expected, the world is as expected, MC is as expected, with an exact same flimsy excuse of a reason.

TL;DR Nothing to see here really, read only if you're very bored.

At least the grammar is decent. 

Tekknos
  • Overall Score

ok let do this love the story but little to focused on the other main C and not the dungeon but its ok the only thing i dont like is it has litrpg and gamelit but know stats of any kind but there (lvls ) and i dont count thos if there is no interface like a blue screen.